On Saturday, Julie got up at the crack of dawn to drive to Austin, armed with plenty of music and snacks, and threatened with bodily harm by both of her parents if she failed to call once she arrived.
The journey was long and boring, the arid plains and wide blue skies blurring in a heat mirage where the highway met the horizon. There was something soothing about the way the monotonous drive lulled her usually anxious thoughts into relative silence. Still, Julie was relieved when she finally arrived in the outskirts of Austin.
She pulled up outside a red brick apartment building which looked just as Tyra had described in her emails. She checked the folded piece of notepaper – stuck between her bag and an empty water bottle on the passenger seat – on which she had written Tyra's address. Parking her car, she was about to get out when she heard the sound of a yell. She looked up and saw Tyra standing on the sidewalk, tall and tanned in flip-flops and cut-offs, a huge grin on her face.
Grinning back, Julie climbed out and met her friend in front of the car, where they hugged.
"I'm so glad you're here!" Tyra exclaimed, squeezing her. They retreated from the heat inside, where Tyra gave her a short tour of her tiny one bedroom apartment, including the battered second-hand futon on which Julie would be sleeping. Tyra was glib, but Julie beamed at her friend, impressed and envious.
"It's awesome," she said, peering out Tyra's kitchen window at the busy, tree-lined city street below. Tyra just shrugged and smiled, but Julie could tell that she was proud, and pleased at Julie's reaction.
That night, Tyra took Julie to her favourite taquería in Austin, and they shared nachos and fish tacos, Julie foregoing her vegetarianism for one evening. They stayed up half the night talking about nothing and everything, but it wasn't until late the next morning when they dragged themselves out of bed and Tyra made coffee that Julie finally broached the subject of Tim.
"So," she said, sitting sleepily in a patch of sun at Tyra's small kitchen table. "I know you must be dying to know what's going on with me and Tim."
Tyra didn't turn around from the counter. "Not really."
"I was being sarcastic."
"That's a relief," Tyra replied, placing a mug of coffee in front of Julie and sitting down across the table with her own. She raised her eyebrows. "Well? I think you're the one who's dying to talk about it."
Julie wrapped her hands around the mug, frowning down at the coffee as though it was a crystal ball which might yield her some kind of answer.
Tyra sighed. "Did you work things out after you trampled all over his delicate feelings?"
"Yeah. I apologised, and he pretty much just accepted it, like you said."
"And? How has it been since then?"
"Good," Julie replied. She smiled down at the chipped paint on the table. "Great, actually."
"Okay, that smile worries me."
Julie looked up to see Tyra staring at her, her face scrunched up in concern. Tyra searched her face for a moment before leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms over her chest. "Another one bites the dust."
"What?"
"When did you figure out you were in love with him?"
Julie gaped. When did she figure out she was in love with Tim? She was in love with Tim? She thought suddenly of his dorky half-smiles, the heated looks he liked to send her, the easygoing, laconic way of him, and the way he made love to her like she was the only thing -
She blanched. Made love. Oh god. Oh no. She had used that phrase.
"Um," she stammered. "I think I just figured it out right now."
Tyra grimaced.
"Oh, this is so bad. This is so, so bad," Julie moaned, burying her face in her hands. "What am I going to do? I'm in love with Tim Riggins. This is terrible."
Demurely, Tyra took a sip of her coffee and let Julie ramble.
"No, seriously, Tyra. What am I going to do? I'm leaving for Rice in less than two weeks. I am finally getting out of Dillon and going to college. Tim's... I have no idea what Tim's doing. Going back to San Antonio, I guess, except that he seems about as excited about that as for a root canal. He – he doesn't want to leave Dillon, Tyra. What am I supposed to do with that? I don't want to be with a guy who just wants to stick around his hometown and knock back six packs with his brother, but I miss him, I miss him right now, and it's only going to be ten times worse once I leave for college. Oh god."
"Whoa," Tyra muttered, as Julie shuddered to a halt, trying not to hyperventilate. "Calm down, Jules. Breathe."
"I don't even know if he likes me," Julie continued, whole new worlds of anxiety opening up to her. "I mean, maybe he doesn't even care. What if he doesn't care? This is just a fling to him."
"If he didn't care at all, he probably would have gotten bored and started ignoring you by now," Tyra said. "Trust me."
"I don't know what to do," Julie sighed, resting her chin on her knees and looking down at the table. "Any ideas?"
Tyra's expression was sympathetic, but she shrugged. "Nothing you can do, Jules. He's gotta figure that stuff out for himself, and you've got your own life to live. I don't know. Maybe if it's meant to be, it's meant to be, you know? Maybe it'll work itself out."
Julie nodded. "I feel stupid. This was supposed to just be a fling. I don't think I was supposed to... you know. Feel stuff."
"Yeah, well," Tyra said, rolling her eyes, "you can't help who you fall for, in the end."
"Guess not," Julie agreed.
Silence fell between them for a moment, and then Tyra nudged Julie's knee with her foot.
"Come on, sad sack. Let's go wander around some stores and look at clothes we can't afford."
Tim sighed. It was becoming a habit. He glanced over at Jordyn and saw that she was watching him, her blond baby eyebrows drawn together in a frown.
"Sucks, doesn't it?"
Jordyn puckered her lips at him, and then turned to look at her father, who too sat silently watching Tim.
"Pathetic, isn't it?" Billy said drily, addressing Jordyn.
Tim frowned at his brother, but didn't dignify that with a response.
"Look, why don't you go get those parts in Abilene for me tomorrow? Get you out of Dillon and out of my hair. I'm tired of looking at your sulky face."
"I'm not sulky," Tim retorted. Billy gave him a pointed look.
"She just went to Austin for the weekend, Tim. She's been gone all of... what? A day?"
"She left this morning," he replied sullenly.
"You really are pathetic. You're going to Abilene tomorrow, that's all there is to it."
"Yeah, all right," Tim agreed half-heartedly.
The three Rigginses silently contemplated the TV for several minutes before Billy spoke again.
"You know it's just gonna be that much worse in a few weeks, right, little brother?"
Tim stared at his beer, peeling the damp label away from the glass with one thumb. "I know," he mumbled, after a long pause. "Too late to do anything about that."
Tim left Dillon early the next morning, arriving at the address Billy had given him before noon. He picked up the parts, and decided to drive around the small city for a while in the hopes of killing some time and finding somewhere to eat.
He ended up eating at a truck stop outside of town, getting a burger and a tank of gas in one stop. Usually he'd have been pretty pleased to have a day out on his own with nothing but his truck, the radio and the open road, but today it wasn't enough. Mostly he was stuck on thinking about how much he missed Julie, and how much worse it was going to be when they went their separate ways.
He tried not to think of that as well as another year of classes, curfews, and papers. He tried not to, but it weighed on his mind all the same.
After eating and filling up his tank, Tim decided to just head home. There wasn't much point in moping around Abilene when he could just as easily mope in Dillon.
Tim stood at the register, eyeing the plastic racks of key chains and lighters while the girl behind the counter rung up his food and gas. His gaze landed on a rack of beaded bracelets and necklaces, and the small cardboard sign which advertised their prices in black felt pen. Hanging on one hook was a long string of tiny blue and white glass beads, long enough to either be a necklace, or be wrapped a few times around a wrist. Tim looked at it for a moment, before carefully pulling it off the rack and holding it out to the girl.
"This too, please," he said, reaching for his wallet.
"Okay, let's see!" Julie called from her perch on Tyra's tiny kitchen counter, where she sat sipping a cup of coffee. It was early Monday morning, and she had to head back to Dillon. Tyra was supposed to have left for work already, but they both kept getting distracted and delaying their inevitable departures.
Tyra emerged from her bedroom and did a little half-hearted pirouette for Julie, showing off the summer skirt, blouse, and pumps she was wearing. Julie gave a low whistle.
"Very nice. Very professional," she praised.
"Yeah?" Tyra asked, looking down at herself. "I always feel like a poser. Like I'm trying too hard or something."
"No way, it looks natural on you. Seriously. Would I lie to you?"
"You'd better not," Tyra said, smiling. She glanced at the clock on her microwave. "Ugh, I'm gonna be late. It won't matter what I'm wearing when my boss is biting my head off. Let's go."
Julie hopped off the counter and abandoned her coffee cup in the sink. She grabbed her overnight bag and her sunglasses and headed for the door, Tyra locking it behind them both.
They stood on the sidewalk, watching as the city woke up, neither one wanting to officially end the weekend.
"Well," Julie said glumly, jangling the keys in her hand.
"Just think," Tyra said, "not long from now, we'll only be three hours away from each other. That's an improvement."
"Definitely."
Tyra smiled at her. "See you soon, okay?"
"Not soon enough," Julie replied, stepping forward and hugging her friend. "Thanks for listening to all my angst about Tim."
"What are friends for?" Tyra said. She eyed Julie for a long moment before rolling her eyes. "Look, I think... I think you should just tell Tim how you feel. He might surprise you."
"Yeah, or I could be totally humiliated."
"Yeah, you could," Tyra agreed. "But if you don't, you could miss out."
"It doesn't change the fact that we're still going to different colleges in different cities."
"No, but you just never know."
"Yeah, I guess," Julie replied uncertainly.
"I gotta go. Drive safe, okay?"
"I will."
"Bye, Jules," Tyra said, turning and walking down the sidewalk, giving a little wave as she went. Julie leaned against her car door and watched her walk away. She looked sophisticated and cosmopolitan, a world away from the rebellious girl who once offered her a ride in her rusted-out High Sierra after Julie was abandoned in the middle of an Applebee's parking lot on a cold November night.
Getting into her car, Julie wondered how different she was going to be after a year of living in Houston.
Tim drove home from the garage on Monday night with a smile on his face, knowing who was waiting for him. He must have been wearing that expression for most of the afternoon, because Billy rolled his eyes and told him to leave at 4, promising to take his time closing up so Tim and Julie could have the house to themselves for a while.
He pulled into the driveway, parking his truck as quickly as he could. It wasn't until he was out of the truck and halfway up to the house that he saw that Julie was leaning in the doorway, waiting for him.
"Hey," he said, walking up to her and standing on the front stoop. The step up into the house left them standing at eye-level with one another.
"Hey," she replied, squinting at him in the afternoon sun and grinning. He'd never seen an expression quite like that on her face. Not when she was looking at him, anyway. She blushed and looked down.
"You have a fun time in Austin?" he asked.
"I did."
"Nice. How's Tyra?"
"She's good. She's great, actually."
"The baby asleep?"
"She is."
"You gonna let me into my house, or...?" Julie smiled and stepped back, allowing Tim to follow her inside. She stood watching him, shifting her feet somewhat nervously. If it wasn't for the smile on her face, Tim might have been worried.
"Come here," Tim said, reaching down and clasping her smaller hand in his. He led her back into his room, stopping her just long enough to kiss her.
"Is this your way of welcoming me back?" Julie asked, once he pulled away.
"Yep," Tim replied, his face splitting into a grin. He backed her up until her knees hit the edge of his bed and she sat down. "Lie back," he said. "I've got something for you."
"I'll just bet you do," Julie said with a roll of her eyes, but she flopped back on his bed all the same, her hair fanning out around her. She looked up at him, smiling. "Well?"
Tim couldn't help himself. He loved her. It was no use pretending otherwise – he was stupid in love with Julie Taylor.
"What?" Julie demanded, giggling. "You standing there staring at me is starting to weird me out."
Tim swallowed, looking down. He knelt on the bed next to her and lifted up one of Julie's arms. Digging the bracelet out of his pocket, he looped it twice around her slender wrist before tying the ends in a tight knot. Julie watched him, her eyes going back and forth between his face and the bracelet.
"What's this?" she asked softly. Tim let go of her hand, and she held it above her head to examine his gift.
"I had to go to Abilene for some parts and I saw it. Made me think of you, I guess," he said, stretching out on the bed next to her.
"Hm," Julie said, turning her arm above her to examine the tiny blue and white glass beads. "And is there any particular reason that you had to give it to me while I'm lying down?"
"Nah, that's just how I like you best – spread out on my bed. It'd be better if you had no shirt on, though."
"Pig," Julie sniffed, the smile on her face negating the insult. She turned on her side and looked at him. "Thank you. I love it."
Tim smiled as she leaned in and pressed a sweet kiss against his lips. He kissed her back, reaching down to play with the hem of her tank top. Julie sighed, pressing her hips into his and pulling at his grey, button-down work shirt. She frowned, pulling away enough to yank at the buttons.
"They don't want to come undone," she said breathlessly, tugging harder.
"Here," Tim said, sitting up and yanking his shirt open. A few buttons flew off, ricocheting off the walls and furniture before disappearing into the gloom of his bedroom.
"Oops," Julie giggled. She sat up, pulling her tank top over her head and tossing it aside.
"No worries," Tim said. "Not like the boss is gonna fire me for missing a few buttons."
"I hope not," Julie smiled, pushing insistently on his shoulder. Tim rolled onto his back, watching as she sat back on her heels and eyed him, her expression an odd mixture of curiosity and nervousness.
She leaned over and began fiddling with the fly of his jeans, his stomach clenching as her long hair brushed against his bare skin.
"What are you up to?" he asked, as she pulled his jeans down over his hips. He hissed when he felt her warm hand brush against his erection.
"Oh, nothing," she mumbled. There was no trace of coyness in her tone, and Tim smiled to see the funny little frown on her face as she bent closer, concentrating. He didn't have the wherewithal to tease her, however, for she chose that moment to swipe her tongue across the head of his dick.
"Oh, fuck," he cursed, as she took him into her mouth.
"Hm?" she inquired. The vibration hummed right up him, hitting him in the gut. He moaned. Julie paused, lifting her head and looking at him. "Should I stop?"
"No!" Tim yelped. She wasn't seriously considering stopping, was she?
Julie raised an eyebrow. "What's the magic word?" she smirked, her eyes glinting maliciously.
"Please," Tim replied instantly, any semblance of his pride completely immaterial to him. He didn't care what he had to say or do so long as Julie did not stop.
"Okay," she said, giving a theatrical, world-weary sigh before abruptly taking him deep into her mouth and sucking, hard.
Tim gripped his sheets in his fists, barely resisting the urge to squirm. For whatever reason, it came as a surprise to him that Julie Taylor gave pretty killer head. He hadn't asked before and she hadn't offered, and it wasn't a problem because it wasn't like he was hurting for sex. But now, as Julie dragged her teeth ever so gently against him, he wondered what the hell he'd been thinking.
"Ah, Julie," he hissed. She laid her hand on his stomach, right below his bellybutton, holding his hips still. He strained against her as she sucked harder, pulling back to swirl her tongue around the tip.
Tim groaned deeply; the intense pull of her mouth was too much. He moaned, Julie's hands replacing her mouth as he came. He felt Julie gingerly clean his stomach off and tuck him back in his boxers; all he could do was lie there and pant. It took him almost a full minute to gather his wits about him enough to open his eyes. Julie was watching him, crouched there in nothing but her plain purple bra and her cut-offs, her face flushed, her eyes dark and serious.
He sat up, grabbing her firmly by the shoulders and kissing her, pushing her back onto the bed. Using one arm to support his weight, he reached down and unbuttoned her jeans, stealing a hand inside. He watched her closely as he slid his hand under the waistband of her underwear. Her mouth opened slightly in a soft moan when he brushed a finger against her, finding her soaking wet.
"You enjoyed that, huh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her. He wouldn't have thought it possible, but she blushed an even deeper shade of scarlet.
He eased his middle finger inside her, tracing her clit as he went. She jolted, gripping his forearm tightly with one hand.
"You close?" he asked, his voice low.
"Yeah," she replied tightly, nodding. She frowned, looking almost pained.
"Shhh," Tim hushed her, leaning in to brush his lips against hers. She kissed him back, her hands coming up to tangle in his hair. He hooked his finger inside her and stroked firmly, pressing his thumb against her clit.
"Tim," she moaned, breaking the kiss.
Continuing to stroke her, he kissed down her neck to her chest, where he pushed her bra out of the way to take one hard nipple into his mouth.
"Oh god," she sighed, her hips arching up off the bed and into his hand. Her hands gripped his hair firmly, holding him there. He scraped his teeth across her sensitive skin, smiling against her when she trembled. He continued to stroke her and a few seconds later she dug her fingernails into his scalp and cried out, her whole body tensing as she came.
He pulled his hand free and collapsed on top of her as she panted brokenly, using her abdomen as a pillow. She brushed her fingers through his hair and Tim closed his eyes, humming with pleasure. He loved it when she did that.
"Whoa," she breathed after a minute, her chest heaving with a tired sigh.
"I knew that bracelet was a smart move," he said, lifting his head to smirk at her.
"Ugh," she replied, shooting him a disgusted look. "Way to ruin the moment, you... moment-ruiner."
Tim laughed. Julie's indignant outrage had become one of his favourite things to witness, and he enjoyed provoking her into it as often as possible.
"Sorry," he said, his words completely lacking in contrition. "Wanna get out of here once Billy gets home? Go for a drive?"
"Right now I don't think I'm capable of doing anything except lying here, but yeah, I guess we could," Julie sighed, her annoyance obviously fading. "You probably owe me ice cream, though."
"Ice cream it is," Tim mumbled against her skin, shifting and pressing a kiss to her chest, right above her still-pounding heart.
After spending an hour dozing in and out of consciousness, they finally dragged themselves out of bed and got dressed when Billy arrived home. Leaving Jordyn with her dad, they got into Tim's truck, the oppressively hot Texas day not getting much better as twilight loomed.
They drove in silence but for the radio, which featured Slammin' Sammy Meade discussing the Panthers' pre-season, with only cursory mentions of the Lions. Dillon was quiet, forced into stillness by the relentless dog days of summer. Hardly anyone was out, just a few cars and trucks outside Fran's as the sun went down, bringing slight relief from the heat.
Tim turned onto a service road, taking them out to the cliffs on the western edge of town, where he'd taken her once before. He parked and got out. Julie followed, scuffing her Chucks in the dust. It was breezy out here, and felt cooler than the streets of town. A train whistle sounded in the distance.
"I can see why you like it out here," Julie said, coming to stand by Tim at the back of the truck, where he was bringing down the gate on the truck and shaking out a blanket.
"It's peaceful," he replied, sitting up on the edge of the bed and gesturing for Julie to join him. She did, hopping up to sit next to him, their thighs a hairsbreadth apart.
"So..." Julie said, tucking her hair behind her ear. Tim turned to look at her, waiting for her to go on. She cleared her throat. "Um, I missed you this weekend."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah."
"I missed you, too," he said, smiling a funny half-smile at her.
Julie looked away, back out over the horizon. Her eyes landed on the edge of the cliff, where the scrubby grass fell sharply away to the abandoned sand quarry below. She leaned forward a little, trying to see the bottom.
"That's a pretty steep drop," she observed.
"Yeah, wouldn't want to fall down that one," Tim said, leaning forward, too. "Couple times I came close, stumbling around out here, drunk."
"Seriously?" Julie asked. "And that didn't scare you off?"
He shrugged. Julie eyed him dubiously for a moment before speaking again. "My dad used to say that you were fearless. Is that true? Isn't there anything you're afraid of?"
Tim shook his head very slightly.
"Okay, well, there has to be something," she insisted.
Tim shrugged again, smiling teasingly at her.
"How about I tell you something that I'm afraid of, and then you can tell me something that you're afraid of."
"All right," he said.
"Okay. I am afraid of becoming just like my parents."
He frowned, confused. "What's wrong with your parents?"
"There's nothing wrong with my parents. They're great. They're happy. They're just not me."
Tim nodded.
"But the thing is... I don't know. Lately I've been feeling like maybe some of the things they have, I want, too. And then I'm like, what if I'm just resisting that because I want to do my own thing, you know? Just because I don't want to feel like there wasn't another option. Does that make sense?"
"Sure," Tim replied. "Kinda."
"Well? What about you?"
Tim blew out an exasperated breath. "I don't know, Jules. I'm not real good at this kind of thing."
Julie watched his anxious profile for a moment before moving closer and pressing a kiss to his shoulder.
"It's okay," she said. "Maybe some other time."
Tim turned his head and regarded her silently for a long time before finally exhaling heavily and shaking his head. "To be honest, I guess I'm afraid of becoming just like my parents, too."
Julie blinked, her own admission suddenly seeming self-centered and juvenile. She only knew the watered-down town gossip version of Tim's family history, but she had at least a sense of what being like Tim's parents might entail.
"I'm..." she began, her voice soft and hesitant, "I guess I don't know everything about it, but from what I can tell? You don't have to worry about that at all."
"Thanks," Tim said softly. His hand was resting on his thigh; Julie reached over and laced her fingers with his. "They get a bad rap, but weren't all bad, you know, my folks."
Julie leaned her head against his shoulder and nodded, silently urging him to go on.
"Mostly they just weren't around... My dad wasn't too bad when he was sober, and my mom, well, it wasn't her fault she was that way."
"What way?"
"She was sick with something, like, mentally. I'm not sure what was wrong with her. She left when I was real little. She was always in and out of the hospital, and she drank 'cause of it, but that just made things worse. She had real bad mood swings, I guess you could call them. My dad's got a temper on him, but he didn't have nothing on the way she could just turn on you. She was real sweet a lot of the time, though."
Julie said nothing, trying to silently communicate that he could go on if he wanted. He shifted next to her, clearing his throat.
"Don't usually talk about that," he said. "Sorry."
"Don't say sorry," Julie urged him. "You're... It's okay for you to talk about that stuff if you want to or you need to."
Tim turned, pressing a kiss to the top of her head and squeezing her hand in his.
"Do you know where she is now?" Julie asked. She felt Tim shrug under her cheek.
"Not sure. Last thing we heard she was in some hospital in El Paso, but that was a while ago, before my dad left and Billy came home to look after me."
"Do you ever think about finding her, getting in touch? Or with your dad?"
"I used to," he said quietly. "Not so much anymore. I got a different family, now, I guess."
Julie nodded, not pressing him. She tried to imagine growing up in a home like Tim's, and found that she really couldn't. Her parents may have been overprotective and frequently embarrassing, but they were certainly better than the alternative.
She shook her head unhappily, at a loss for words, and squeezed his hand again.
"It's all right, Jules," he reassured her, his voice light. He held their joined hands up and placed a kiss on hers. "I turned out okay, in the end."
"Yeah, you did," Julie replied softly. She sighed, pressing her cheek against the soft, worn material of his plaid shirt. "Could you promise me something, though?"
"Sure, what is it?"
"Could you... Could you try not to drink so much that you pass out, anymore?"
There was a long silence, and then she felt Tim nod.
"Okay, Jules."