A/N: So I know, you all hate me. And I'm sorry for that. But things just got really stressful with having to go back to school and all that and I have been down with the flu this week. But this is what I managed to come up with and I hope you guys enjoy it! Hopefully after reading this you won't hate me too bad…
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Nothing Less Than an Impossible Fate
Chapter Fourteen: Stuck in Place
The room was silent as everyone was shocked at the words that Sonny had just spoken. Sonny, himself was even surprised. "I'm sorry…" He began and stopped. There was pain written all over Courtney and Carly's faces, and anger all over Jason's.
"No. I don't wish I was dead." Jason stated. "How can you even ask me something like that after everything that I have gone through this past year? After everything that Courtney has gone through in our relationship?" Jason asked bitterly.
"Sonny…" Courtney began but she couldn't get the words out. She wanted to tell him just how much his actions here had hurt her. She wanted to tell him that she hated him for saying these things, but she couldn't. "I understand that you are angry that I told him but it was my decision." She stated. "He is my husband and I have been carrying this on my shoulders for over a year now and it's time that I told him. He deserved to know what happened… I had to tell him the truth. Now it's up to him what he does with it."
Jason looked Sonny up and down. He was in a state of shock and disbelief. For years he had risked his life, given up so many people that he had loved, all for the man standing in front of him. He wanted to forgive him and move on, but how could he move past something so huge? How could he forgive someone who he loved and trusted with his life, for turning on him? And when he needed him the most? "Courtney can we go home?"
She nodded and glanced one last time toward her brother before pushing Jason out the door.
Carly watched the two of them leave. She held so much respect for the both of them. They fought everything and against everyone to be together and they were still "standing." She glanced at Sonny and shook her head. "I can't believe you asked him that! You just asked your best friend, your brother-in-law, your sister's husband if he would rather be dead than be with her! If he would rather be dead than be a father to the child that she was carrying!"
"I'm sorry…"
"I don't want to hear your apologies." She interrupted him. "In the beginning of their relationship, you refused to let them be together, you remember that? And when you finally came around you saw how happy they were together. They had both found that love. The love that would make it through absolutely anything." She was growing angrier with every word that she spoke. "You watched your sister break her own heart when she left him…"
"What's with this trip down memory lane? It wasn't my fault that Courtney couldn't handle Jason's life. I told them from the very beginning that it wouldn't work."
"You son of a bitch. You don't even care about anything that was just said, do you? You don't care that you just ripped out their hearts and stomped on them." She shook her head. "You are unbelievable. That man has dedicated his life to protecting you. He has killed people for you. He has given up everything and everyone that he knows and loves for you and in the moment that you have to do something in return for him, you wanted to give up and move on."
"He's alive isn't he? Why are we still talking about this? It's done, it's over and I can't change anything that happened a year ago."
She stopped and stared at him straight in the eyes. "Do you really think that you did the right thing?"
"Yes." He stated firmly. "And I would do it again."
"Knowing what you know now? Knowing everything you know now and how Jason feels about your decision you'd still do it all over again?" Carly asked incredulously. "God Sonny, you can't be that heartless to your own best friend, to your BROTHER IN LAW!"
"That's right… he is my best friend and my brother in law which is exactly why I chose what I did. I was trying to protect my sister from the pain… YOU SAW HER! She was fighting an impossible fight!"
"BUT IT WASN'T IMPOSSIBLE! HE IS ALIVE!" Carly yelled. "Your sister had faith in him and he is still with her! Why can't you just admit you are wrong? Oh wait, that would be too much and of course you're never wrong. You're the all mighty Sonny Corinthos." Carly fumed. "What if it was one of the boys, Sonny? Would you be able to make the same decision then?" She didn't even wait for a reply before going on. "No you wouldn't. You would want to wait as long as possible, no matter what. That's all that Courtney wanted. She loves Jason just as much as you love our kids Sonny, and all she was doing was holding onto the man she loves."
"Do you think that I don't blame myself every damn day that I wake up? Knowing that if it had been a day sooner or even a couple hours that he would be dead? You think I don't blame myself already for him being stuck in that chair? Because I do…everyday. I see my sister with him and I realize what I took away from them because I couldn't let go of my grudge for Alcazar." Carly still glared at him. "And I succeeded. I killed Alcazar, I never have to worry about him again… but at what cost? I wake up every morning and I look in on those boys upstairs and I think 'What if it had been me who had been hit?' 'What if I had been the one in the wheelchair and you were in Courtney's place?' Then I think about Jason waking up every morning and seeing his little boy or little girl playing in the floor and he can't get down there and play with him or her. And I think about the hell that Courtney is going to have to go through, taking care of Jason and a newborn baby…"
"I almost feel sorry for you, Sonny. Almost." Carly stated. "I love you with everything that I am and I understand the pain that you are going through now. But I can't let this go. Because of how selfish you were, your sister's life has been changed forever. And as much as I wish I could move on and act like none of this happened, I can't. Because, just like you, I wake up every morning and I see him in that damn chair, I see the pain in her eyes when she thinks no one is looking… She is the strongest woman that I know but when she thought she was losing Jason, she couldn't handle it. I was there as best I could but she needed you Sonny. She needed you to tell her everything was going to be okay, to reassure her. And you didn't do any of that." She wiped at her tears. "The pain is still so fresh in all of our minds but we were finally getting past it, getting back some sense of normalcy and then something like this comes out…" She shook her head in disappointment. "I just—I just don't understand why you didn't tell me…"
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"Hey, are you okay?" Courtney asked rubbing her the back of Jason's neck. "And don't bother trying to hide it from me…"
He shook his head in frustration. "I don't know. I know I should get over all this and just be happy that I'm alive. But it's not that easy…" He sighed heavily. "For years I risked my life for him, gave up so much for him and when I needed him to be strong for me…"
"I know baby. I'm so sorry… I shouldn't have said anything. Things were finally getting back to normal…"
"Don't say that. I'm glad you did. At least this way we can hopefully work through things and hopefully have everything out in the open… I just wish—" Jason trialed off.
"What? What do you wish?"
"I want to be able to walk again. I want to play in the yard with my son and I want to be able to walk my daughter down the isle. I want to be able to make love to my wife." He stared her straight in the eyes. "I want to let go of all of this pain and move on. But I can't… not when I have to wake up and depend on you for everything. Not when I will spend the rest of my life in this chair."
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A/N: Okay, so I know this chapter is extremely short. But I think the emotion takes it a long way. And I have to thank my gurlie for life, Bre! She helped me out a lot with this chapter so be sure to thank Bre… snaps for Bre… Anyway, get to reviewing and hopefully I will have another chapter out soon!
