Losing Makoto

Disclaimer: I own nothing!

Somewhat randomly, Haru remembered his grandmother and what she had once said about Makoto back when they were children. Haru was six or eight and they had been invited to a wedding. Haru couldn't remember whose wedding but he did remember asking his grandmother about weddings and marriages. The discussion had ended with Haru declaring, "So I'll marry Makoto and then we'll be together forever!"

His grandmother had chuckled, "It doesn't work like that. Besides, it is not something you can decide on your own. Makoto has to also want to be with you forever."

"Of course he wants to be with me forever, he said so," Haru had declared.

Haru gave a sidelong glance and took in Makoto's pensive profile. He had grown-up firmly believing in Makoto's childhood declaration that he would be with Haru forever. Even the weight of his grandmothers words, tempered as they were with time and experience could not shake his belief. Yet now… Haru turned his full attention back to the alien looking structure that sat in the sea: the Underwater hotel.

They had been in Dubai for about five days but for the moment were staying at a different hotel since Makoto was busy with his catwalk shows. After they were done, Makoto and Haru would relocate to the Underwater Hotel for the last two days of their trip, during which time Makoto was to take part in the photo shoot for the Dubai tourism brochure.

Makoto had been too busy to do much of anything. He was lucky if he could make it back in time to join Haru at the beach near their current hotel for a quick dip. So this was the first day he had managed to get enough time to come with Haru to see the Underwater Hotel, albeit only from the outside. Haru himself however had made a point to come see it as soon as he could.

It really looked alien, something out of a sci-fi movie. It consisted of two disks, one fixed on top of the waterline, the other disk designed to move up and down along a elevator tube from the bottom of the sea to just above the waterline. When Shiori had first mentioned the freedive job to Makoto, she had said Makoto had to freedive down along the side of the hotel to the top most level and so far, that was all the information Makoto had. But there wasn't really a "top level", so Haru's best guess was that they were going to raise the submerged disk up near the waterline. At least that's what he hoped.

But, "I think they are going to make me dive down the 20 meters to the bottom," Makoto said finally, "I mean, if the disk is not at the bottom, they wouldn't be able to get the corals reef in the picture."

"But Yamagami-san said top level," Haru said, trying to convince himself as well as Makoto that Makoto really didn't have to dive down that far.

"I think Shiori-san misunderstood," replied Makoto, "I mean, doesn't make much sense to raise the disk higher and take pictures. All you'll get is blue water. They could have done that in a tank."

"20 meters…" whispered Haru.

"It's not so bad," said Makoto, "I managed 15 meters without fins during training and that's with a pause of about 2 minutes at the bottom. With fins I can go down to 25 meters now. I'll be fine, Haru," he assured his companion with a grin.

Haru wasn't convinced, "They are pairing you up with Hinamori again aren't they," Haru had, had a grudge against Hinamori Chizuru ever since the amusement park commercial shoot.

The so called professional model had taken like 15 takes to get a simple sequence right. Her dumbness had meant Haru could not spend as much time with Makoto as he wanted to and that was unforgivable. Besides which, Haru was dreading that Hinamori would mess-up this photo shoot as well and cause Makoto to dive more times and thus increase the risk of accidents and not to mention increase the chances of Makoto having a panic attack.

Picking-up on what Haru was thinking Makoto chimed in, "Don't worry Haru-chan, Hinamori-chan is much better at photo shoots then she is with cms. She has more experience with them and she does better when she doesn't have to speak."

"She's an idiot," Haru said bluntly.

"Haru that's mean!" protested Makoto, "I have done photo shoots with her before, she can totally get and hold poses really well!"

Haru shrugged, "Let's swim," he said and headed for a nearest publicly accessible beach.

Shiori did not accompany Makoto so he had to navigate his schedule, coordinate with the local show management, deal with his fellow models as well as actually do the modelling. Most days he finished very late, very exhausted, hungry as hell, very stressed and just wanting to sleep but needing still to make the trip back to his hotel and eat before he could crash. He was also supposed to be working out and that meant he would be up very early to go for a run, a form of exercise he did not care for, or go swimming with Haru.

He asked one of the other Japanese models how he was coped with the stress and exhaustion and was simply told, "Chemical energy," and promptly offered pills. Makoto was mildly disturbed and politely refused. He would have to find his own way of balancing things.

"Why didn't Yamagami-san come?" wondered Haru, annoyed as he watched Makoto all but collapse on the bed. Haru had already ordered dinner but was beginning to doubt Makot would be able to eat anything before at least having a quick nap.

"I am not the only model on her books," Makoto pointed out, "She can't always accompany me, especially overseas," he yawned, "Most models don't have personal managers who are with them on every job. I am lucky that Shiori-san makes the effort to accompany me on big jobs but asking her to come overseas with me is too much," Makoto yawned again.

"I'll draw you a bath," said Haru getting up, "It'll help you relax and then we can eat."

"I got offered drugs today," Makoto suddenly said, stopping Haru dead in his tracks, "Chemical energy, senpai said."

"Makoto…"

"I turned him down but I realised I need to figure something else out," replied Makoto, "Especially if weeks like this become routine."

"Don't take drugs, Makoto," said Haru, "You don't need them, you have the water," Makoto laughed, earning a glare from Haru.

"Don't worry Haru-chan," he whispered sleepily, "I mean, I want to be able to continue to look Ran and Ren in the face if I start taking drugs."

Again someone else, why couldn't Makoto just do something or not do something because it was bad for him. For his own sake? But it probably didn't matter as long as Makoto didn't resort to drugs. Yet, Haru once again wished Rin had punched that talent scout harder.

Back in Japan, Rin too was wishing he had punched Tanaka Lory harder as Gou excitedly told him that Makoto and Haru were in Dubai and all she knew about Makoto's jobs, "Makoto is freediving in the sea?"

"Yep, he's been taking lessons and everything," she replied cheerfully, "I am looking forward to seeing the pictures. He's muscles should be in great display!"

Rin said nothing. He wanted to call Makoto up and yell at him, demand to know what he was doing, wasn't he afraid of the ocean? The water? But then he remembered that Makoto seemed more and more comfortable swimming since the regionals. So maybe he had conquered his fears or at least dealt with them enough to take on something daft like freediving for a bloody photo shoot. But then again…

Finally Rin settled on sending Makoto a text message, "Heard you were doing something stupid and dangerous for the sake of fashion. Do me a favour and stay safe. Saw your perfume commercial. Damn Makoto, when did you learn to kiss like that! I am never going to be able to look at you the same way."

Makoto blushed when he got the message. How could he not when Rin mentioned the perfume commercial and Makoto was reminded he had been thinking of Rin when he was kissing that actress like that. His reply to Rin, however, contained no hint of his embarrassment or his secret. It simply read, "Thanks Rin but don't worry, I'll be fine. Haru is with me." Makoto could not know that the mention of his dependency on Haru was beginning to bother Rin.

The last day of Makoto's catwalk show was chaotic and Makoto was grateful that Haru had come with him because he was not sure how he was going to manage alone. They had to checkout in the morning and Makoto left his luggage in Haru's care as he rushed off. Haru took both their stuff to the Underwater Hotel, finally seeing the inside of it and for the first time since they came to Dubai, he thought that the trouble Makoto had gone through to bring them here was worth it! It really was like living underwater.

Haru was suddenly overcome with the desire to draw. So as soon as he could, he went looking for art supplies and started to draw as soon as he returned to their room. At first he drew the room they were in, drew the coral reef he could see outside their window. But then he started designed a house, no a home. A home he wanted to share with Makoto.

He thought about building a home off the coast of Iwatobi similar to how the hotel was built but then remembered that the coastline of Iwatobi were subject to typhoons and scrapped that idea. He then started to draw a house by the river that was half submerged but it didn't feel right. Finally he decided to be practical as well as fantastic, not to mention romantic and drew the bedroom he wanted to share with Makoto.

He imagined a room with wall to wall aquarium, filled with goldfish of all colours and sizes. They would have a king size waterbed and special furniture that didn't interfere with the lines of the aquarium. I.e. all their furniture would be lower than bottom edge of the aquariums so they didn't obstruct the view of the fishes.

Haru designed lamps and light fixtures as a dolphin and orca swimming together like yin and yang, chasing each other in an endless circle. The carpets would be a dark coloured, as would the walls so that the blue of the water could be brought out and chests, they would have chests to store their stuff in as opposed to closets and cabinets.

Bedroom concept down on paper, Haru got to work on a living room, which too would have wall to wall aquarium. The the kitchen would be plain, simple and functional and was followed by a guest room because Haru figured Makoto would want Ran and Ren and his parents to visit them often. The guest room wouldn't have wall of wall aquarium. It would be simple and clean, decorated only with their orca and dolphin lamps. Finally, Haru gave into his wildest dream and designed a kids room with painted walls depicting the sea.

Haru looked back through his drawings and knew this was a very far off dream. If indeed they could ever achieve it. It wasn't just that such a place would be expensive to build but the aquariums would cost a lot of maintain. Haru sighed, they would probably have to be more practical and cut down on the number and sizes of the aquariums if they did indeed ever get around to try and build the place. But for now, he was happy to dream.

Makoto was a wreck by the time he was done. He confused enough to start heading towards their old hotel before remembering they had moved hotels. Damn he was tired.

"Are you sure you don't want some?" the model who had previously offered him pills asked, "I mean, you have more work tomorrow right? The pills can help you relax tonight and be at your peak tomorrow."

Makoto was tempted and then horribly disappointed at himself, "No thanks," he finally said with a smile, "I don't want to depend on such things."

"Suit yourself," the model replied, "Ah, don't mention to anyone I have these though. I don't really want to lose my head over these."

Come of think of it, Dubai did have very strict drug laws. It was probably very dangerous to have or take drugs while in the UAE. Suddenly feeling doubly happy he hadn't done something truly stupid Makoto headed towards the right hotel. He briefly wondered how the model in question had managed to get his hands on the pills within UAE but then decided he didn't want to know. He had zero interest in the dark side of modelling. This brush was enough.

Makoto was too exhausted to appreciate the beauty of the underwater hotel. But he pulled on what reserves of energy he could when he got to the room he was sharing with Haru to give him a smile and listen as Haru gushed about the room, the hotel, saying, "It's like we are actually inside Animal Crossing: Deep Sea!"

Makoto smiled more at the mention of his siblings favourite game. A game Haru often played with them late into the night. Haru used to play with them… Makoto hadn't had the time to play games for months now. "I am sorry, Haru," Makoto suddenly said, "I haven't been spending enough time with you or Ren and Ran."

"Don't worry about stuff like that," whispered Haru, finally noticing how drawn and exhausted Makoto looked, "You should have a nap. I'll order some room service and draw a bath for you."

"Sorry Haru," replied Makoto, "I have been…"

"Don't," Haru interrupted, "Thank you for bringing me here," Haru whispered, "This place is amazing. But," Haru got-up from his bed and pushed Makoto down on his, "You need to rest. I will never forgive you if you have an accident tomorrow because you are too tired." Makoto managed a faint smile before giving into his desire for sleep.

They rigged-up a floating platform from which Makoto was supposed to freedive. They were going to use guide ropes, using which Makoto would pull himself down and pull himself up. Once down he had to float to the glass of the room inside which the model Hinamori would be waiting. All they had to do was put their hand against each other on either side of the glass and for them to look like they were in love. Makoto had very transparent goggles, with transparent straps and nosepiece to make it look as if he didn't have goggles on at all. But they were still limited in how much focus they could put on Makoto's face. Hinamori would have to do the heavy emoting and Haru for one, didn't think she was capable of it at all.

Makoto dived once as a sort of practice and immediately knew he wouldn't manage too many dives. So he really hoped they got the shots they needed soon. He was exhausted. He had a small, waterproof earpiece through which the photographer was giving him instructions.

"Okay, Makoto," the photographer wasn't Japanese and so had skipped straight to calling Makoto by his first name, "We are ready, Hinamori is in position," Hinamori preferred being called by her last name, "Just dive down and place your hands against hers and look like you are gazing at the love of your life."

Makoto turned to his side and gave Haru, who insisted on joining him at the floating platform, a long lingering gaze before taking in a deep, deep breath as he had been trained to do and dived down. Makoto kept Haru's face in his mind as he dived. He found Hinamori and did as he was instructed. He was still thinking of Haru when he smiled faintly as he settled his gaze on Hinamori through the glass. Afterall, Haru was kind of the love his life, wasn't he? Maybe they weren't romantic, but they were soulmates, weren't they?

"Good face," came the photographers voice through the earpiece, Makoto had no idea if he meant Makoto himself or Hinamori but a good face was um… good.

Makoto's lungs began to ache. He tapped on the glass to indicate he had reached his limited as agreed and headed-up.

"Again," came the instruction, "I want a few more shots from a different angle."

Taking just a moment to recover, Makoto dived again, his third dive including the practice one, "Again," insisted the photographer, "Need more shots."

Makoto compiled, and made his fourth dive. He made it halfway before aborting and heading-up, "Sorry," he said to his handlers at the platform, before stealing a glance at Haru, "I think I need a break before I can dive again."

The handlers nodded and sent a message to the photographer. "Did you remember your promise, Makoto?" asked Haru.

"Yeah," admitted Makoto as Haru helped him on to the platform, "I probably could have forced myself but I remembered you made me promise to think of myself. Thinking of myself, it was probably best I had a break before diving again," Haru rewarded him with a smile.

Makoto had to do four additional dives before the photographer was satisfied. He was exhausted but insisted that he and Haru ate at the hotel's restaurant, which was located on the disc that sat on top of the waterline. They got to watch the sunset. But Makoto was yawning by the time dessert came around.

"Go to bed after," Haru instructed.

"What about Haru?" wondered Makoto.

"I am going to visit the Meena Bazaar and look for souvenirs," he replied.

"Eh! I wanted to go there too!" protested Makoto.

"We can go together tomorrow," said Haru, tomorrow would be their last full day in Dubai but most importantly, Makoto was not working tomorrow and it was his last chance to see something of Dubai before heading back, "So I'll do the annoying stuff today and find something to take back for Nagisa, Rei and Gou. Plus my gifts for Ren and Ran. Tomorrow you can look for something to take back for Ren and Ran."

"Nothing for Rin?" wondered Makoto.

"We won't see him to give him anything," Haru pointed out.

"I'll still get something," said Makoto with a grin, "It would be mean otherwise." Haru shrugged.

They parted and Makoto returned to their room and was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He slept for about an two hours before waking somewhat refreshed. He splashed some water on his face and made himself some tea. For the first time since they moved to the underwater hotel, Makoto got a chance to simple sit and admire their surrounding.

It truly was an amazing place. He was glad he got to bring Haru here. He went to put away the tea stuff when he noticed Haru's drawings. He didn't think Haru would mind him looking at them, so he started to go through them. Marvelling at both Haru's skill and the subject matter.

"Is this the house you want to live in, Haru-chan?" he wondered. He noticed the two bedrooms and immediately realised that the room with the aquarium was the room Haru wanted to sleep in.

However, he mistook the room Haru had intended to be the guest room to be his room. Because it simply did not occur to Makoto and Haru wanted to share a room, a bed with him. Makoto assumed that they would be sharing the house as housemates. Which is why the child's bedroom went completely over his head and he dismissed it as Haru trying out different ideas.

Makoto put down the drawings and returned to his bed. But he lay awake thinking. He wanted to build that house for Haru. No, for them both because that was one way he could always be with Haru. Yet to build the house he would need a lot of money. The house would also be difficult and expensive to maintain because of the aquariums. He could build that house if he made it big. If he got somewhere in the world of fashion and entertainment. Shiori had spoken to him about branching out into music.

However, she had made it clear he couldn't branch out into music without moving to Tokyo. Commuting between Iwatobi and Tokyo was barely okay with just modelling. No way he could do it while modelling and trying to break into music. Makoto also didn't want to drop out of school. He had good grades, he didn't see why he shouldn't finish high school.

Shiori had told him about a high school in Tokyo which had flexible classes to accommodate working students. Including those in the entertainment industry. She assured him she could arrange a smooth transfer to that school for Makoto. Makoto would be able to be serious about this career he unexpectedly found himself in while finishing high school.

Makoto sighed, as he turned to look towards the desk where Haru's drawing were. He wanted to build Haru's dream house for Haru. Because he wanted to see Haru smile. To see Haru happy and since he wanted that, there was only one logical thing for him to do.

As if on cue Haru returned, "I am back," Haru said softly as he entered the room.

"Welcome back, Haru-chan," Makoto replied as he turned to Haru with a smile, "I have decided," he added, moving to sit-up on the bed, "I am going to move to Tokyo for good."

Even though Haru had been half expected it, even though Haru himself had encouraged him, it still came as a shock, a blow to the gut. Makoto was leaving, he was actually going to be leaving and Haru, Haru could say nothing.

Author's Notes: The game "Animal Crossing: Deep Sea" mentioned is from FrFr short 1 that was included with the first DVD volume. It's apparently what Makoto and Haru play with Ran and Ren. As I said before, the underwater hotel is real but not yet built. If you want to see concept pictures and stuff, go here: underwaterhoteldubai dot org