Chapter Fourteen

Embry found me in the early morning hours. I was only vaguely aware that he was carrying me, telling me that Leah had called for a search party when she couldn't find me, when I didn't come home. I pressed my face against his chest, the warmness of his body enveloping me. I twisted in his arms pressing my lips to his chest. I could feel him tighten, his grip stiffening. "Olivia, this isn't right, you don't know what you're doing."

I wrapped my free arm around his neck, turning my body towards him more. I looked at him, raising my eyes to meet his in the moonlight. I nodded my head, "Please, take me home with you." I couldn't believe what I was asking, how bold I was being. I could see the struggle on his face, the internal debate he was waging. He took a step, slowing walking again. I pressed my lips against his chest again, taking in the woodsy musk scent of him. I was too distracted by looking at him, at running my fingers all over the exposed parts of his body that I could reach to pay attention to where he was taking me.

I groaned, jumping out of his arms when I saw where he was taking me. I was angry, yelling at him as we stood in Sam's driveway. "Why did you bring me back here? I was throwing myself at you, asking you to take me home with you!" I reached up undoing the buttons of my shirt. "Isn't this what you wanted, what you're destined to get?" I stepped away from him as he took a step towards me, his eyes blazing.

"Stop it! Just stop it! Look at yourself, what you're doing!"

"I'm giving you what you want, what have been our destinies since my birth." My eyes were blazing with the same fury his had.

"Not like this. You're in so much pain right now, so confused I don't think you know what you want. Do you even know who you are?" Embry was trying to calm me down, bringing his voice lower as he spoke.

I wouldn't stop, all the hurt, the anger, the confusion spewing out. "Of course I know who I am! I'm just missing the stamp on my forehead that says property of Embry Call! It's my fate whether I want it or not! What choice do I have, stay here and live or leave and end up like my mom?" I was still yelling, not caring that we were starting to attract an audience. "Tell me that this isn't what you want, that you haven't been thinking about this moment since you first saw me!" I took a step towards him, ripping another button off, throwing it at him.

He didn't move the truth of my words visible on his face. His voice was thick with emotion. "Olivia all I want, all I care about is you. I want you to be happy and I know you're not. It kills me to see you in this kind of pain. I would do anything to make it go away, but you don't know what you're asking, the kind of fire you're playing with."

I took another step towards him, my hands reaching out to him. The anger gone, my voice pleading with him. "Please, just, I need you. I can't keep hurting. I'm in so much pain right now, just help me, hold me."

Embry wrapped his arms around me; I could feel his chin on my head. I wrapped my arms around his waist, tears forming in my eyes and running down his chest. We stood on the road like that, hugging until my tears stopped. I was exhausted, my steps towards the house faltering. Embry held on to me, speaking quickly and quietly to Leah and Seth when we passed them in the living room.

Embry gently pushed open the door of my old bedroom not even bothering to flick on the lights. I turned my back to him, sliding off my shoes and shedding my ripped blouse. I grabbed a t-shirt from a bag Leah had brought up, letting my pants fall after I tugged the shirt over my head. Embry pulled back my blankets, letting me crawl in before he covered me up. I gripped his hand, "Stay."

He shook his head at me, "No, you know it's not right, not like this."

"I know, I didn't mean it like that, just stay with me, don't let me fall asleep alone." I knew I sounded needy but I didn't care. I just couldn't take being alone. I needed to know that someone was there, that I wasn't alone.

He sighed, sitting with his back against my bed, a small laugh when he asked if I wanted a bedtime story. I slept better that night than any night since my mom and I had left Oklahoma. I turned, resting my hand on his shoulder while I slept on my side. I asked him to tell me about himself, what he was like, who he was. I fell asleep when he reached the stories about him as a teen, the trouble he, Jake, and Quil used to find and get into.

When I woke he was gone. I groaned when I remembered my behavior, ashamed of how I had acted. I walked downstairs the lure of coffee leading me to the kitchen. "Where's Seth?" Leah looked over the rim of cup at me, pointing upstairs. I poured a cup before sitting. "So how out of control was I last night? Did the neighbors get a good show?"

Leah hid her grin behind her cup. "Everyone grieves differently; you've been through a lot in a very short amount of time. I think maybe you should try to talk to Embry, but I'm sure he understands. We all know you're in a tremendous amount of pain."

I was so thankful Leah was there, sometimes she reminded me so much of my mom. I dug through the fridge, I wasn't really hungry but I knew I should eat. "Hungry?" I pulled out a couple of containers. Leah and I opened them, after seeing what they were I decided on the stuffed shells. As they heated Leah started on one of the salads, both of us eating when Seth walked in.

"You gonna share?" He grabbed a fork before sitting next to me.

I held the container out to him, letting him stab at the pasta. I ate mechanically, listing to Seth and Leah talk. I was surprised when I heard Leah mention going back to San Diego. I looked at her, paying attention to what she was saying. "It shouldn't take me more than a few days to get everything packed up, a couple of days to drive up here. I think within a week I can be done."

"Wait, what did I miss? You're moving back? When did that happen?" My head moved back and forth between them.

I saw Leah blush slightly, Seth laughing as she struggled for words. "I, well uh, I just think that now is a good time is all, get to know some of the new members of the family, spend some time with you, hang out with the kids, you know, just be home, protect those I love." I felt my brow pull together, what had changed, what made her change her mind.

Seth laughed, "Don't forget you could also spend more time with Tommy too."

I gasped, "Oh my God, you imprinted on him?! But he's just a kid, still a practically a baby!" I was shocked, horrified even. "How could you, that's just, just wrong." I could hear the disgust in my voice.

Leah glared at Seth. "I did, but it's not what you think." Her eyes were searching mine, her voice imploring me to understand. "I just want to be close to him, to help take care of him, protect him. I just want to be in his life. It's part of what being a wolf, a protector is all about. It's what makes us strive to protect our homes, our tribe so much. I didn't understand that before, how you could be so connected to someone. In the instant that I saw him I saw myself, my future, my universe shift to revolve around him. I just want to be close to him." I could see the emotion on her face, her hands reaching out to me.

I shook my head, pushing myself up from the table. "I don't understand, he's a child, you're an adult." I couldn't say it, but this was part of the reason my mom had left with me, to protect me from the very thing that Leah was trying to convince me wasn't an abomination. I walked away, retreating to my room. I could hear Leah and Seth downstairs. I knew Leah had wanted to follow me, to explain more, but Seth had convinced her to give me some time. To allow me process things on my own timetable.

I tried to sort through the few things my mom and I had packed from our home. As I sorted I realized how much we had left behind. I found a bag that contained my mom's clothes. I pulled them out, holding them to my face. I breathed in her scent, trying to pull her closer to me. I missed her so much; every part of me ached for her to be here. I wanted her opinion, I wanted to ask her so many things, I just wanted her. I leaned back, holding her shirt in my hands. I wasn't sure what I was going to do next. I looked around my childhood room. The practical side of me argued to stay there, to stay in La Push. The emotional side of me wanted to run. Everything about being here was an emotional minefield, the more I learned the more I didn't know.

After I had put the last of my stuff away, trading the drawers that still held the clothes of my youth for my current sizes I heard a soft knock at the door. I knew who it was before I opened the door. I sat on my bed, accepted the cup of coffee they held, knowing it was a peace offering of sorts.

"Will you let me explain, I know it's difficult for you." Leah's eyes searched my face. I sat back, nodding as she talked. "First of all I want to be clear, to make sure you understand that it's not a sexual thing, not in any way. I feel the same way towards Tommy that I do towards you or Seth. I just want him to be happy, to be protected. It's just a stronger version of that. Whatever happens later isn't my concern. I know that most imprints, no matter what the ages, end up being a couple, but that's not always the case."

I looked at her, "Really?" I could hear the disbelief in my voice. "Give me one example."

Leah grinned, "You, you and Embry."

I snorted, "That's a bad example. Can you give me an example that doesn't include me?"

Leah could only shake her head. "I know this is a hard subject for you, but you have to understand it comes with being who we are. We can't control it, we can't pick who are imprints are or aren't." I saw the flash of pain; I wondered if she had thought of my father, I know I had. "Trust me if it was up to us, if we could have chosen our partners most of us would have chosen someone else and we would have been wrong. Do you think for one day anyone regrets who they're with? Do you think anyone could have found a better, more loving partner than who they have?" She shook her head, we both knew the answer.

"When are you leaving?" I didn't want to see her go, but I knew the sooner she did the sooner she would be back. I saw the pain on her face, I was horrified, did she think I wanted her to leave? "I didn't mean it like that!" I reached out to her. "I just wanted to know when you'd be back; I want you to stay here." As soon as I said it I knew it was true. "The house is big enough for everyone; you can pick what room you want. I just want you to stay here, to stay with Seth and me." I grinned realizing that I would be living with two werewolves, two members of my family.

Leah face showed her surprise, "Are you sure? You know what you're asking?"

I nodded. "Does that mean yes?" I grinned. Leah reached over; hugging me so tight I had to gasp for air. "Breathing. . I need to breath."

Leah let go, "sorry about that. I'm not sure yet when I'll leave. I need to talk to Jacob first." I saw her biting at her lip, I was sure she had a lot to discuss with Jacob.

"No matter what, even if he's being an ass you can still stay here." I grinned at her. I wasn't entirely sure what to make of Jacob. I knew everyone respected him, even my father, but there was a part of me that was still bitter. I was still pissed that he hadn't stood up and defended my mom. "You can pick what room you want. I planned on cleaning out the room downstairs, maybe turning it into something else. There are still two rooms upstairs you can pick from." I wasn't sure what I was going to do the house. There was gloominess about it. I hoped in the next few weeks I would find the ambition to clean it. I knew no matter what I would at least clean out the room my parents had taken their final breaths in. I couldn't bear to see the door, let alone what was behind it. I couldn't leave it a shrine the way my father had the rest of the house.

I saw Leah swallow, "Thank you." She rose. "Are we ok? You know if you have questions, anything at all you can come to me."

"I know, right now I think I just need a shower. You should talk to Jacob, I'll be alright." I knew I would be.