After Jasper left it only took me a few minutes to decide that taking a shower and heading over to Jacob's was a better idea than sitting around waiting for time to slowly crawl by. If I could get to La Push before Jacob made his eventual appearance at my house then I might be able to avoid any chance of Jasper's lingering scent being noticed by my werewolf friend. I also had another much more urgent reason for setting my plan into action. If I were motivated to do something then I could keep from clawing my eyes out. After my mood manipulating vampire took leave of the room we had both occupied the skin on my body began to crawl and I knew then that I had to make an escape.

Rummaging though the mess that was my room, I found my bag of toiletries underneath a pile of dirty clothes. Then as quietly as I was able my hand reached out and turned the knob on my door. Except for the whine of protest coming from the door's hinges, all was silent in the Swan household. Although, while traveling the short distance from my room to the bathroom my ears did detect soft snores coming from Charlie's bedroom. For the first time since Edward's death my dad was sleeping through the night. Thanks to Jasper I had been able to spend my time in bed actually asleep instead of forcefully jolting Charlie to my side. It meant the world to me that my dad was able to spend a few unbroken hours without my screams waking him. One more thing I would have to thank Jasper for.

Upon entering the bathroom I turned on the hot and cold water knobs of the shower and removed my sleep attire before stepping into the soothing water. Instantly my body relaxed as the heat massaged my back. It was no Jasper, but the feeling was calming and as I stood there a soft moan released itself from my mouth. Oddly enough this made me think back to the image of Jasper jumping from the ledge of my window. If I hadn't been so used to the sight of a male figure leaping to the ground from my second story bedroom then I might have yelled out after him. My time with Edward had taught me to think nothing of a vampire falling from such heights and so, I remained quite. Instead my eyes watched Jasper slowly sail to the earth and I remembered thinking he looked much like Edward. He exhibited the same exact grace and agility. Such lithe creatures vampires were … upon reaching the ground, Jasper barely made a sound. Then in a swift movement I saw him look up at me. His eyes glowed from the light my bedroom cast upon him. The intense gold orbs held my gaze with such force that I felt physically unable to look away. The grip he had me in was palpable. Then before I could realize it Jasper released me and dashed out of my vision.

Naturally as soon as he was gone I could feel Jasper's absence. The calm he had radiated around me was no more and panic began to rise in my chest followed by the skin crawling. I removed myself from the window and headed over to my bed. Sitting upon the mattress I contemplated what this meant. With Jasper now gone I could feel all of the emotions he had suppressed inside my body and that was when it dawned on me that his ability was much like a sedative. But, instead of a drug which slowly wears off with time his mood manipulation for me was like a detox minus the methadone for a heroin addict. Once he was no longer there blocking my emotional distress the pain assaulting me was instantaneous. I tried hard not to focus on this and instead developed the plan to see Jacob. If anything doing so would force me to ignore the pangs of sadness that threatened to transform me into a blubbering fool once more.

So, now I stood under the cascading water of the shower head and tried to figure out how I would approach Jacob. His actions towards Jasper the day before had been inexcusable, but at the same time I did not think I should punish him further. The goal of my visit would be to reestablish our relationship – best friends.

Best friends.

I contemplated this term as I worked my strawberry scented shampoo into the long tangled locks attached to my head. I wondered if perhaps Jacob still felt that way about me. I could not sufficiently block out the kiss we had engaged in before the battle with Victoria had begun. At the time I went along with the intimate exchange only, because Jacob threatened to harm himself during the fight. I was quite aware of the passion burning in him when Jacob's lips met mine and even though the physical part of me enjoyed the press of his body against me, I did not for one second think of my best friend as anything but. Of course, our time in lip lock was not a topic we discussed since not too long afterward both Alice and Edward were … I couldn't even force myself to think of the word. I doubted Jacob would even want to approach the subject anytime soon. Despite all his brutish and immature tendencies Jacob was not a jerk.

After awhile I managed to reluctantly pull myself from the warmth the shower provided, but only, because I knew that if I lingered much longer I would use up all the hot water. Charlie would be going back to work today and undoubtedly he would want some warm water of his own to start the morning. Wrapping my body snuggly in the towel hanging from one of the racks, I swiftly raced across the hallway lest my dad happen to wake up and catch a glimpse of his semi nude daughter traipsing around. The glow of the digital clock greeted me as I entered my bedroom. 6:13. Was it too early to make my trip to La Push? Well, I couldn't sit around here all day with only my thoughts to occupy me, so screw it! Quickly I dried myself off and went over to the dresser to pull a pair of clean underwear from the top drawer. That was when my eyes caught sight of the black book with the words 'memories' printed in elegant cursive on the cover. It was placed on top of my dresser, exactly where Jasper had left it.

My photo album.

Jasper hadn't confessed to looking inside at the pictures of Alice, but he also hadn't noticed me watching him in the moments before I made the fact I was awake known. Perhaps, if his attention hadn't been so consumed by the images of Alice, the vampire might have realized I was looking at him. The blond waves of his hair had partially covered his face as he looked down at the photos, but I could still see enough of him to guess what he was doing. Intense sadness was etched in his features and if Jasper was capable of producing tears I was certain they would have been present. I fought the urge to reach out and hug him as I was sure this would only exacerbate the problem. Being so close to him was bound to create an atmosphere of awkwardness and so, I decided to let him know I was awake. This, I reasoned, would take his mind and eyes off of Alice.

I myself hadn't touched the book since the events of the last four days. My mind couldn't even fathom what seeing an image of Edward might do to me. Thinking of this made my empathy for Jasper increase. What the hell was he doing … exposing himself to such sadness? Reaching out my hand I quickly pushed the book to the floor lest I too be tempted to peek at memories. Then with a sigh, I continued with my mission to dress for the day and get out to Jacob's before anymore time progressed. Time that more than likely would be spent absorbed in my sadness.

Getting ready managed to occupy me for awhile and by the time I emerged from my bedroom fully dressed with my thick hair pulled back into a ponytail, 30 minutes had elapsed. Stepping out into the hallway I noticed Charlie's door a jar and the soft drip drip drip of the coffee maker downstairs caught my ears. So, he was awake. I had hoped to slink out without him noticing and thus circumvent the mini interrogation I was certain he had waiting for me. Sure enough as soon as I came into Charlie's eyesight the questions began, "So, are you now going to explain to me why you were outside hugging that Jasper kid last night?"

He was sitting at the kitchen table holding an opened newspaper in his hands. His eyes watched me with a skeptical stare.

"What, no good morning?" I skirted the issue and made my way to the cereal boxes placed atop the refrigerator.

"Good morning." He replied emphasizing each syllable and drawing out the two words.

I rolled my eyes at his sarcastic tone and continued to get my breakfast.

"Well …"

"Well, nothing, Dad. I told you last night that Jasper just wanted to see if I was alright." I stated between mouthfuls of Apple Jacks.

Charlie shook his head, "At 11:30 at night … humph. That just doesn't seem right." He got up and moved over to the coffee pot.

"Please, Dad. Jasper and I both have been through a lot lately. I'm sure knowing when the proper time to call on a lady is the last thing on his mind." I was joking, but the sad underlying truth to my words resonated with Charlie and so, he dropped the subject.

"Why are you all dressed up?"

I slowly tipped up my cereal bowl to my lips in order to catch the remaining milk inside and then with a lick of my lips I replied, "I thought I would pay Jacob a visit."

Charlie seemed pleased with this news. "That's a good idea, since I won't be here today and all. You and Jake can hang out at the beach. Maybe you could invite Jessica or Mike. Yeah, make a day of it."

My dad was ridiculously transparent. So eager was he to hear that I would not be spending the day locked away in my room that he wanted to make sure it stayed that way. "No, just me and Jake today. Baby steps for now."

"Right." He nodded and took a sip from his coffee mug.

There was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air around us when he finished talking and so, I took the opportunity to make my escape. 'Well, I'm out." I said and before Charlie could make anymore comments about me, Jacob or even Jasper, I walked out the front door.