Ray sighed softly as he leaned his head back. Life is perfect. Even if I screw this up, I'll always have this perfect moment. He thought as he stared at the ceiling. He was tired and wanted sleep, but he couldn't seem to force himself to leave the perfection of life at the moment. Neela was in his arms, slowly sipping her wine, and Sinatra was singing. Thank God for shuffle on CD players! Ray silently laughed to himself. He felt a sense of freedom in being able to show Neela this side of him and finally being able to tell her he loved her. He felt her sigh. He looked down at her. "You okay?"
"Yeah. I never knew Frank Sinatra sang OVER THE RAINBOW. He did it so beautifully." Neela leaned her head back to look at Ray. "This night…everything about it has been so lovely."
"You're ending it so soon?"
"Hardly." Neela smiled. "Remember, we're only taking a break to finish the wine." Ray laughed at her cheeky attitude. "What?"
"For being up for what? 36 hours? You are in a very chipper mood."
"Maybe it's because I've been up for so long. Sleep deprivation makes people do silly things, right, Ray?" Her grin grew cheeky.
"It wasn't sleep deprivation. It was out and out drunkenness." He smiled.
"So, to continue our conversation from earlier…"
"And which conversation would that be?" He slightly leaned forward to grab his glass.
"How you got into punk. Trying to not be your dad…or being as independent as your mum, I don't think that's good reason enough."
Ray sighed. "The funny thing is I'm doing exactly what my dad wanted me to do."
Neela sat up. "Your dad wanted you to be a doctor?"
Ray nodded. "Yeah. He said I had a bedside manner that would work to the benefit of the patient."
"Your dad a doctor then?"
Ray ignored Neela's question. "I didn't initially want to be a doctor. I fought it most the way in high school. The thing about my dad…despite everything, my dad knew I'd go through phases and he wouldn't push. Well, at least not too hard. We did fight a lot. I figured out that I wanted to go ahead and become a doctor beginning of my senior year. Never told Dad. Mom knew. But, neither one of us wanted to see Dad's 'I told you so' look so we never told him."
"He had to know something when you went to college."
"We convinced him that I was studying music." Ray smiled. "I don't think for one minute he believed us, but he played along anyhow. When I graduated from med school, he had that look, but it was hidden behind the pride in his eyes." Ray sipped his wine. "Still, I wanted to be a musician." He looked at Neela. "Would you laugh if I told you that I had dreams of being the next Frank Sinatra or Dean Martin?"
"Why punk then?" Neela was finding that the more Ray talked, the more she loved him.
"Don't know. Thing to do? To show my dad he may have won a battle, but I would win the war?"
"Now, you only sing Sinatra and Martin when you're home."
He stood up and pulled her to him. "Listen to the words of this song."
In the background, softly Frank Sinatra sang:
Dear when you smiled at me I heard a melody
It haunted me from the start
Something inside of me started a symphony
Zing! Went the strings of my heart
T'was like a breath of spring, heard a robin sing
About a nest set apart
All nature seemed to be in perfect harmony
Zing! Went the strings of my heart
Your eyes made skies blue again
What else could I do again
Keep repeating through again
"I love you, love you
I still recall the thrill, guess I always will
I hope 'twill never depart
All nature seemed to be in perfect harmony
Zing! Went the strings of my heart
"I've never heard that song before." Neela looked up at Ray, who was leading her across the floor, slowly and quietly.
"It's a beautiful song. I love the words to it." He looked at her. "So, tell me things about you I don't know."
"You know more about me than I know about you." Neela was suddenly struck by how little she really knew about Ray. She had always assumed he was this hard-core punk, covered in tattoos, wore black eyeliner and nail polish, who had no true respect for life or authority. She assumed that he would prefer the Sex Pistols to Sinatra. She knew about his groupies and had always assumed that he was all about one-night stands. She suddenly stopped dancing and pulled away.
Ray looked at her. "What's wrong?"
"Don't do this to me, Ray." She felt the tears form.
Ray looked lost. "Do what?"
"I know you like one-night stands…"
"I had one-night stands because I couldn't have you." There's a great excuse, Barnett. He silently cursed himself.
"Ray!"
"Why would you think that, Neela? Where is all this suddenly coming from? I mean earlier, you were confident in your love for me and in my love for you and now…now you're thinking that all I want is a one-night stand with you? You should know, Neela." Ray was hurt, but he knew Neela well enough to know she was afraid of being truly loved.
"I just…I can't…I…"
He pulled her to him. "You are no one-night stand. You never have been and you never will be. How can I prove that to you?"
Neela shrugged. "I don't know, Ray. I don't know." She wrapped her arms around his waist. "I guess I'm just scared at what I feel and…"
"Making an excuse to run before it gets too deep?"
She looked up at Ray. "Yes. How did you…"
"I just did." He kissed her forehead and turned the stereo up slightly. "One of my favorite lines is from SLEEPY HOLLOW, when he tells her he believes she a witch because she has bewitched him." He pulled Neela to him again. "I believe the same about you, and so, in the interest of being silly due to lack of sleep, I dedicate this song to you." He sang in her ear.
Those fingers in my hair
That sly come-hither stare
That strips my conscience bare
It's witch craft
And I've got no defense for it
The heat is too intense for it
Would good would common sense for it do
'Cause it's witchcraft, wicked witchcraft
And although I know it's strictly taboo
When you arouse the need in me
My heart says "Yes, indeed" in me
"Proceed with what you're leadin' me to"
It's such an ancient pitch
But one I wouldn't switch
"Cause there's no nicer witch than you
'Cause it's witchcraft, that crazy witchcraft
And although I know it's strictly taboo
When you arouse the need in me
My heart says "Yes, indeed" in me
"Proceed with what you're leadin' me to"
It's such an ancient pitch
But one I wouldn't switch
"Cause there's no nicer witch than you
Neela laughed. "I don't know if I should be offended or not."
"SHH!" Ray smiled down at her.
"What?"
"The song." Ray smiled down at her.
Day by day I'm falling more in love with you
And day by day my love seems to grow
There isn't any end to my devotion
It's deeper dear by far than any ocean
I find that day by day you're making all my dreams come true
And come what may I want you to know
I'm yours alone, and I'm in love to stay
As we go through the years day by day
"This song is my heart to you." Ray whispered in her ear. "Don't ever forget it." He gently held her to him, swaying her in a smooth waltz across their small living room.
"I won't." Neela smiled. She felt that her days of running and making excuses were now gone.
A/N: I will be on a camping trip this weekend, so this is the last chapter until at least Monday. The story is far from over...but I'll be out of town and away from computer access, so no Rayla until at least Monday!