"Serena." I breathe out as I see her standing on the door frame of my bedroom.

"Jenny." She says angrily.

"What are you doing here?" I ask although I have a pretty good idea as to why she's here. It's been two days since the break up between Nate and Serena and she hasn't stopped by once. I'm guessing she's been too depressed to do anything, but now I see that all her energy is back and she's ready to give me the smack down I (kind of) deserve.

"Did you hear about me and Nate?" Serena asks

"Umm, yeah, why?"

"Has he already talked to you about it?" she asks suspiciously.

"No." I lie, but she can tell I'm fibbing because I see her facial expression turns even angrier than it already was.

"Don't lie, Jenny. I know he told you."

I shake my head and she just exhales.

"Whatever, Jenny, I know that you know, but either way Nate told me the truth about the night that you supposedly slept with Chuck." She says

"Oh." I say ashamed. I look down at my feet not willing to look into her eyes.

"You really outdid yourself this time." She says and the tone of her voice is full of spite and anger.

"Serena, I'm really sor—"

"Don't say sorry. I don't need your apology. I will never forgive you for this. I thought you had really changed, but you haven't."

"It was last year!" I manage to say while she's taking some deep breaths.

"But I didn't find out till this year. So, technically, it just happened."

"No, but Serena, I have changed." I say and she scoffs at my measly defense.

"No; you are still a lying, backstabbing, conniving, boyfriend-stealing bitch." She says and I feel as if she just punched me in the stomach. Out of breath and dizzy.

"Well, I see Blair's been rubbing off on you." I whisper to her and she just glares at me.

"You're lucky its me and not her."

"No, not really." I answer

"And why would that be, Jenny, huh?"

I'm about to answer her that Blair already knows and she has forgiven me, but decide better of it. I don't want to go back to my old ways and become the 'conniving bitch' I once was.

"Never mind." I say and Serena smirks triumphantly, but then it fades.

"But you did hang out with him didn't you?" Serena asks and I hear the vulnerability in her voice. She might be playing strong, but she's really hurting on the inside.

I nod my head and then look away from her.

"Yesterday." I answer thinking about our coffee run-in and then playing video games with him. I hadn't had that much fun in ages.

I don't want to hurt her even more, but I also don't want to keep lying. My lies and secrets have kept everyone unhappy for the past year. I came back to start over and I'm just realizing now that it means coming clean about what happened before.

"Did he say anything about me?" Serena asks and I nod.

She looks at me expectantly and I say, "He just told me that he was sick of the lying and the arguing so he decided to tell you the truth." Her face turns sad and then I add, "He never meant to hurt you."

"I'm sure." She says bitterly and then she looks at me with disdain.

"I'm sorry, Serena." I say trying to apologize.

"No." is all she says.

"I promise I didn't do it to hurt you. He told me you guys were broken up and I thought—"

"You thought that you finally had your chance didn't you?" Serena asks and I nod in response reliving the feelings of love, lust, and hate that I felt back then. It still hurts just thinking about it.

"Well you didn't have a chance back then."

We both hear the door open and we look over to the empty hall leading to my room.

Serena looks back at me and then says, "But he's all yours now. You can have him all you want."

"Serena?" asks Blair as she walks into my room. She stares at us skeptically.

"What are you doing here?" Serena asks.

"I came to talk to Jenny." Blair answers and they share a secretive look.

Serena then looks at me and says in a malicious tone, "But enjoy Nate while it lasts. He'll get bored of you soon enough." And that somehow hurts more than anything she's said to me today. With that, she walks out of my room and leaves me and Blair alone.

"What was that about?" questions Blair.

"What do you think it was about?" I reply

"So she came to give you the smack down you deserve." She smirks and I stare at her in disbelief.

"Whose side are you on?" I ask

"Neither. I support Serena being angry at you because, well, you did sleep with Nate, but I do forgive you for the lie you told me and I do see how you've changed."

"Thank you." I say and then add, "But wont Serena get mad at you for not being on her side?"

"No." says Blair and I look at her curiously.

"Serena needs me there by her side right now. I told her the truth about me knowing before she did and about not being on anyone's side. She was upset at first, but she realized that she needed her friend so she forgave me."

"Well that's good." I state sourly.

Blair catches on to my mood and says, "She'll come around."

I nod and then look at Blair questioningly, "What are you doing here, anyway?"

She looks taken aback and then smiles. "I came to talk to you about a certain boy that I saw you with the other day."

"Who?" I ask completely confused by this.

"Nate Archibald." She states and now I'm the one who is taken aback.

"Nate?" I ask and Blair nods. "What about him?"

"Oh, isn't it obvious?" says Blair and I shake my head. No, it really isn't obvious.

"You and him. Having feelings for each other." Says Blair

I scoff at this and then look at her, "Blair, Nate was a phase that I went through last year. I don't want to go there again and I really don't plan on it. Too much has happened between us. We will never work out."

"Are you sure about that?" she asks and I nod.

"Nate is— he's very unsure of what he wants. He'll hop from one girl to the next and say he's in love, but ten seconds later he'll get bored and move on."

"So you just think that he'll get bored of you? That's why you say you don't have feelings for him."

"It's not just that, Blair." I say and roll my eyes, "I've been there and done that. The last time I felt something for Nate I let my emotions get the better of me. I don't want to go through that again. I think I'm better off as just Nate's friend."

"Yeah right!" says Blair and then adds, "You and Nate always gravitate toward each other. You guy have a past and it will always follow you wherever you go. You may say that you're over him, but it's never going to happen."

"Blair." I say frustrated, "I'm over him. But I have on question."

"Go on." She tells me

"Why are you doing this?"

Blair looks at me hesitantly and finally says, "Chuck and I see you guys together and we've realized that Nate finally looks happy for the first time in ages. I also see that you have changed and that Nate does make you happy no matter what you say."

I look at her and feel speechless. I do feel happy when I'm around Nate, but that's because we're good friends and he helps me. He doesn't judge me.

Blair realizes that I'm not going to answer her question so she says, "Just think about it, you have feelings for him. Admit it and stop hiding your feelings. You never know what could happen." And then she starts heading for the door.

"But what if it doesn't work out?" I ask on a whim.

"If it's meant to be then it'll work out." Is what Blair ends up saying and then she leaves me to my thoughts.

I cant have feelings for Nate again. I wont. I will never go back to that. Been there, done that. He was just a phase. Phases come and go; and when they go, they never come back… right?