I own nothing Twilight, It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer.

Monsters: School

~A/N Ok, so I am sure that everyone is a little peeved that I haven't update in so long, but truth is that school has been kicking my butt with the work I need to keep up with. So I think that I will definitely be getting into more of a rhythm now, but bare with me while I try and make the adjustment. P.S. All first day outfits are on my profile. ~

Previously- "…It had been a very eventful day and the last thing I saw before I fell asleep, safe on my brother's massive shoulder was my family, my family, interacting with each other and looking blissfully happy and I decided that nothing could make me happier, and let the darkness take me, a happy smile on my lips."

BPOV 2 weeks later.

I sat on my bed, taking a few deep calming breaths double checking I had everything packed to start my day. Today I would be starting at Forks High, I don't think that I was really nervous but it was the fact that it was just one more big change in my life that I would be adjusting to. I heard a knock on my door and called for the person to come in. The door opened to reveal Edward, he looked great in his first day outfit (all carefully picked out by Alice) he had on a pair of black jeans, a white v-neck with a black waist coat over it and a black beanie covering some of his crazy bronze hair. Along with that he had on his pinstriped chucks and a chain with a guitar pick and silver head phones and the silver cross that he never took off. He looked hot, like supermodel-I-was-just-in-a-musician-magazine-photo-shoot-hot.

"Ready to go? Everyone is downstairs; hey you look great by the way." I saw him look me over a couple of times and I felt my cheeks grow hot.

"Yep, all set. You don't look so bad yourself." He just gave me a big goofy grin and I couldn't help but return it. Edward and I were pretty good friends as of recently. We had a lot of similar tastes in music and literature, and he was an overall easy person to get along with. I suspected that Edward liked me and I wasn't going to lie and say that I couldn't return those feelings, but I think that we both understood it wasn't the right time.

I had also been spending a lot of time with Esme lately, it was nice to have someone to talk to as a mother figure and she always made me feel right at home. We had some special times together when it would be just us. One was helping her in her garden, we would spend hours out there talking, or just working it was really nice and her garden was amazing. The other was Sunday dinners, Esme insisted on Sunday family dinners no matter what came up, Carlisle would come home from the hospital early and everyone else would stop what they were doing and eat together. Esme always made a big special dinner so I had taken to helping her cook and prepare, it made me feel good to help contribute to such a special time. I still had my moments of not feeling completely worthy of this family and it was usually Esme who pulled me out of my funks, just like two weeks ago.

~Flashback begins~

I sat in my room as I listened to what was going on downstairs; I could hear everyone joking, laughing, and playing around. They all sounded so carefree and happy and I felt the all too familiar weight of guilt pressing down on me as I realized that only a little less than a month ago I had disrupted that in such a gruesome manner. I felt a few tears slip down my cheeks as I pondered silently if I would ever be able to be part of a family without pain being involved. I had my mom and dad, but they died, and I had my mom and Phil, but then she died and Phil…well became someone else entirely, and then finally I had Emmet and the Cullen's, but I had caused them pain and I wasn't sure that was something I could deal with.

I walked over to my bookshelf and picked up one of the pictures that Emmet had given me resting on top of it. It was a picture taken when my dad was still alive, Emmet was 5 and I was 3. We were at a park we used to frequent at, I was on Emmet's back and he looked less than thrilled about it, my mom and dad had their arms wrapped around each other, I remember they had gotten a passing elderly couple to take the shot. Even with Emmet's slight scowl we all looked so happy, like a family, and I couldn't stop the feeling that I might not ever feel that again.

I was brought out of my musings by a knock on the door. I swept at my tears franticly while letting out a croaked 'come in' to whoever was on the other side of the door. The door opened tentatively and I was surprised to see Esme step through, thinking that she was still downstairs with the others. I placed the picture back on the book shelf and ran my fingers franticly through my hair trying to make myself look more presentable. Suddenly I felt two gentle hands take hold of my wrists to lower my hands from my hair. I turned to see Esme standing close with a small sad smile on her face. She released my wrists and brought a hand up to wipe away the remnants of my tears and she cupped the side of my face softly in her palm, her thumb rubbing soothingly on my cheek. I was shocked by the motherly gesture but couldn't help but lean myself into the touch as I relaxed immensely.

She lead my over to my bed and sat down beside me taking my hand in both of hers rubbing soothing circles on the back of it.

"You know Bella, that if you would rather not talk that's okay, I can sit here all day in silence if that would help even a little. But If you would like to talk about what has you so upset I am here to listen."

I nodded as acknowledgment to her words as I let them sink in. I was having a bit of trouble figuring out exactly what I was feeling and I opted to take her up on the offer of just sitting silently. I wordlessly placed my head on her shoulder as she began running her fingers through my hair. I was extremely grateful for the comfort she offered as I tried to organize my thoughts.

Just as promised Esme sat there with me as I got lost inside my own thoughts. My mind was racing a mile a minute and I was having trouble organizing my thoughts. I spoke before my mind registered wanting to say something.

"I feel so alone. No matter who I am around I can't help but feel like I am on my own, I just want to be able to have a family without all of this suffering. I don't understand what I did to deserve it but every time my life is filled with the least bit of happiness it all comes crashing down, and I am so scared that it will happen again."

Esme tightened her hold on me as she began to sway us back and forth, rocking me like a small child.

"Bella, no one can predict, or promise the future. Although Alice comes pretty close sometimes." I let out a small snort of agreement, grateful for the small break in tension. "But you cannot continue to live life so cautiously just because something may or may not happen. Family is a subjective term and as long as you love and accept us as we do you, Bella, we are your family. Me, Carlisle, Alice, Emmet, Jasper, Rose, and Edward, we are all your family because we choose to love you as our own. If you are ever going to be happy you need to let go of the fear you have of the unknown because whatever my come, experiencing the love of a family, even for a short while, is worth anything that may come in the future."

I clung to her tighter as I let her speech sink in. I knew that I loved these people as my family and of course Emmet was my family, but I was still scared that eventually I would have to let them go. But as I thought more about it I realized that she was right. I was so worried about losing them someday that I didn't cherish the time that I had with them.

"Your right." I whispered my voice thick with awe. "I love you, all of you as my family and I have let my fear overtake that. And I don't want to dwell on what may happen, because for the first time in a long time I feel happy. Genuinely happy and safe, and I want to enjoy feeling this way for as long as I can."

Esme beamed at me as I finished my statement. She stood up and kissed my forehead before taking my hand and leading me downstairs. To my family.

~End Flashback~

"Bella? Earth to Bella. Hello?" I came out of my memories to see Edward waving his hand infront of my face.

"Oh! Sorry, I guess I just got caught up thinking."

He smiled at me softly for a moment, before breaking into a wide grin that made my heart stutter.

"Well alright then. You really ready to go this time?"

"Yeah, I'm ready. He just looked at me curiously for a moment before shrugging and leading me down to the cars.

And as we pulled away from the house, Esme waving at us from the porch, Edward smiling over at me, I realized I was ready for a lot more than just school.

~Okay, well that's it for now. I am finally back and I just ask whoever is still reading to bear with me as I try and get back into things. I will be starting in on Bella and Edward a bit more because I don't want this to go on forever so we will see how they progress as the chapters continue. Review please~