A/N: No notes really needed for this one.

Just one thing to say...ENJOY!

Chapter 14

EPOV

"Edward…who is this?" Emmett asked through clenched teeth. Even though I had just told them that there was no way I was the father and that I had no idea who could be knocking on my door, the second she jumped into my arms, everything I had just said went right out the window.

"This is Lauren." I said motioning towards her. "Lauren this is Emmett and Jasper."

"Nice to meet you. So how do you two know Eddie?"

"Well…Eddie here is in business with our best friend Bella…." Jasper said glaring at me.

"Oh the doctor you've got the hots for?" She grinned towards me while making her eyebrows dance around suggestively.

"Yes that would be her…and I don't just have the hots for her Lauren. We've discussed this."

"Yeah whatev." She laughed as she made herself comfortable on my couch.

"Um so why are you here Lauren?" I asked again because I damn well knew she didn't drive all the way from L.A. on a Friday night, baby in tow, just to see me.

"First things first…inquiring minds want to know what the hell is going on here? How do you know Edward?" Emmett asked.

"He was sort of like my mentor back in L.A. when I was a stupid kid. I got knocked up by some asswipe who ended up leaving as soon as he found out I was expecting. My parents wanted nothing to do with me so I turned to a shelter. Eddie here happened to be volunteering the day I showed up. Told me he was helping out at a place that would help me and that they would provide discounted health care for me and my baby. He ended up basically saving my life. I owe him everything."

"You're like the sister I never had." I said trying to stress the relationship I had with Lauren. "Which also means you need or want something."

"You've got me. I just need a place to crash for the night. I'm on my way out of town to meet Brian upstate. Got a late start and I'm dead on my feet. I'll crash on the couch…no problem. Just let me sleep for a few hours and then I'll be out of you hair."

So with that, the boys left me with Lauren and her screaming kid. Luckily Lilly was all about watching Lauren's little brat – Brie or something like that. Anyways – with the boys gone my depression settled in big time.

And even more unfortunate for me, Lauren noticed.

Three hours later, I was pulling one of my shirts out of my closet to let Lauren sleep in, while I collapsed into bed.

Man that woman can talk. All I had to say was that I finally told Bella I loved her and that she didn't return the feeling. From that moment on I was stuck listening to Lauren's thoughts on the subject for three hours.

Granted she made some pretty good points. Points like I've done all I can do without scaring Bella away so I just need to be patient. And she also pointed out that unless the flowers ended up back on my door step in a million pieces that she probably really enjoyed them and the distance this past week was just her thinking everything over.

Of course she also made me feel like a complete ass for waiting so long and for fucking it up in college. Which I deserve, and will continue to deserve until I die. If Bella accepts my apology and wants to try a relationship, I will spend every day making everything up to her. If she doesn't accept my love but still wants to remain friends, I'll still try to make it up to her every day of my life. Of course at this point, I'm leaning to the third least desirable outcome of all of this – Bella will never feel comfortable around me ever again and I will lose her in my life forever.

I really hope the third option is not what is happening, although I don't think I could ever do anything to make her forget how I treated her in college. And will not be surprised when she says she can't forgive me and never wants to see me again after everything I've done to her. I still can't believe the way I treated her in college all because I was a horny little bastard afraid to look at what was right in front of my face. The worse part was that I knew in college she was the settling down one. The one you take home to mom. The one you shouldn't let get away.

And yet, I let her get away. I all but made her run away.

And that makes me want to kick my own ass.

Why haven't Emmett and Jasper done that yet?

I must have fallen asleep finally, because the next thing I remember is waking up to the sound of the door bell.

Groggily I rolled out of bed, making sure my pajama pants were on and I wasn't sporting anything embarrassing and headed downstairs completely forgetting Lauren was asleep on the couch and therefore would hear the doorbell and reach it before I could. I could hear her get up and answer the door as I continued to make my way down the stairs.

"Hi. Can I help you?" Lauren answered cheerfully – too cheerfully to have just woken up.

"Lauren who is it?" I asked through a yawn and as I got to the bottom step.

I should have been more prepared for this. I should have thought this through, but how was I to know she'd pick this morning to come knocking on my door.

Neither Lauren nor the guest answered my question. However I got my answer myself with the distinctive sound of a sniffle. The sniffle that only comes with tears.

I jerked my head up just in time to see her turn around.

"Bella!" I yelled as I ran towards the door. I only caught a quick glimpse of Lauren's face – wide-eyed and obviously panicked.

But my only concern was the fact that Bella was still walking away from me and in a hurry.

"Bella please." I pleaded as I finally caught up to her. I made the instant mistake of trying to grab her arm to stop her from walking because I just couldn't let her walk away from me again. The second my skin came in contact with hers, she stopped, but it wasn't a calm stop. It was an all of a sudden stop and whip around to glare at me kind of stop. The kind of stop that makes a grown man shrink away and pray for his safety.

"What the fuck do you want Cullen!" She yelled at me right there in the yard between our two houses.

"Please just listen…"

"So you can explain? So you can explain why you have some two-bit whore in your house, in your shirt – only your shirt – answering your door. Well I don't want to hear it." She yelled. The amount of fury in her eyes was unbelievable. But what was really heartbreaking was the amount of sadness in them as well.

"Yes so I can explain. It's not at all what it…"

"You're just full of the cliché lines this morning aren't you! 'I can explain', 'it's not what it looks like'. What's next? 'She's just a friend'?"

"But she is…she is just a friend. A friend from L.A. who needed…"

"What a bunch of shit. I can't believe I fell for all those bullshit lines about you waiting for me to make a decision. I knew you really could never change. You'll always be that guy. The guy that uses women for his own pleasure and doesn't care about the amount of pain he may cause them. This is exactly why I was hesitant to open my heart back up to...anyone…but especially you! Fool me once – shame on you. Fool me twice – shame on me."

"Bella please…"

"No. Never fucking again. Never. Again. I'm done Edward."

"I beg of you…just please listen to me."

"No."

"Okay if not to me, will you listen to Jasper and Emmett? They know everything. They can back up everything. She's just a friend. She slept on the couch…she's not…I didn't sleep with her. I've never slept with her! I love you. I'll always love you, only you for the rest of my life. No one will ever erase my feelings for you." I said as I took her hands. A small amount of relief flooded me when she let me actually touch her. "I want to spend the rest of my life you. If not you then no one. Please." I begged one final time.

I watched as she slowly closed her eyes and let the silent tears fall, but she didn't say anything for what seemed like an eternity.

"Do you know what I came over this morning for?" She said with her eyes still shut.

"No." I whispered.

"I had come to a decision." She said then slowly re-opened her eyes. When her normally so full of life eyes met mine, I was greeted with emptiness instead. Deadness and pain. "I came to tell you that I forgive you for what happened to us 10 years ago. I came to tell you that I'm tired of going through life without taking chances. I came to tell you I wanted to take a chance for the possibility of an us. I came to tell you that I love you too…that I've always loved you." She said then paused as she tried to collect herself before continuing to deliver my own personal hell to me.

"I came over because I believed in you and then I was greeted at your door by a half-naked girl. I want to still believe you. I do. But I…I just can't."

"Please…" I continue to beg. I couldn't let her get away. I'll die if she walks out of my life again. I don't think I'll ever be able to truly live with out her. "I can't breathe without you anymore. I need you by my side…"

"Please find another place to practice. I want you out of the office as soon as possible. I can't go to work every day and see you. My heart won't be able to take the abuse. I love you Edward and I hate myself for it. I want you as far out of my life as I can get you." She said then walked away from me.

She walked away and I had no choice but to let her go. Not because my mind was telling me stay put but because my legs wouldn't work. My mouth wouldn't work. I collapsed to the ground and watched as the only woman I truly ever loved walked away from me without one single glance back towards my crumpled body.

I was crying.

I was numb.

I was dead.

"Edward?" Lauren hesitantly asked from what seemed like a good distance away proving I wasn't actually dead.

I wish I was dead. Death would be better than this pain.

"Leave Lauren. Pack your shit and leave." I said as I slowly got up and walked back to my house.

"Edward…I know you're mad at me right now, but how is this my fault? It's not my fault she wouldn't let you explain. It's not my fault…"

"Shut up. Just shut the fuck up! It is your fault. This whole fucking mess is your fault. Who the hell answers someone else's door? Who? And in nothing but a god-damned t-shirt? This is all your fault. Now grab your shit and your kid and the get the fuck out of my house!" I roared at her.

"Daddy?" Lilly's scared little voice came from behind me.

"WHAT?" I yelled and turned around to see my daughter shrink behind the corner and start to cry.

Son of bitch…can't I do anything right today?

"Lilly baby…Daddy's sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. You didn't do anything wrong princess." I said as I kneeled down in front of her. "Please come here."

She nodded and walked over towards me but was still trying to calm her tears. In the background, I sort of remember hearing the front door shut signaling Lauren's departure.

"Come here." I said motioning for Lilly to come closer.

When she did finally get close enough to me, I grabbed her tight and engulfed her into a hug and then just like that, broke down like a little baby.

"Daddy…why are you crying?"

"Because I'm sad sweetie."

"Is Bella mad at us?"

"No honey. Just me. She still loves you." I said choking up even more on the word 'love.'

"She loves you too daddy. She said so." Lilly grinned. I couldn't tell her that I fucked up yet again and that it was different now. I couldn't tell her that she would probably never see Bella again. I couldn't hurt her. I couldn't hurt my little girl.

"Lilly?"

"Yes daddy?"

"How would you like to go spend some time with Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle?"

"Oh please! Pretty please with a giant cherry on top!"

"Okay – get your stuff packed and we'll head over there right now." I said as I patted her butt and sent her upstairs to her room leaving me alone downstairs to try and collect myself enough to drive the hour to my parents' home.

BPOV

You never wake up in the morning thinking 'hey I think this day is going to be the day when I will experience complete and total destruction of my heart'. No one ever wants that to happen, but of course if it's going to happen, it's going to happen to me.

I spent all week going over the pros and cons of everything to do with Edward Anthony Cullen and trust when I tell you there are just as many cons as there are pros. But after logically trying to figure it out, I threw logic out the window and for once….okay for the second time in my whole life, followed my heart's true desire.

Yep. Followed my heart and now look where I am.

I'm sitting on my couch at ten in the morning, crying my eyes out, tequila bottle in hand. And ignoring my phone every time it rings which has now happened at least twenty times since I slammed my front door and bolted that bitch shut.

No this morning I had rolled out of bed happy. Honestly happy. Today I was set to tell Edward that I wanted to be with him that I wanted to love him until the day I died.

But instead of being met at his door by him or his daughter, I was met by a dirty blonde slut…wearing his mother fucking t-shirt. And then he appeared on the stairs in only his pajama pants.

I wish I could tell you what my exact thoughts were in the moment, but I'm petty sure all mental function ceased to exist. All I registered was that I had to get out of there before it was too late.

Unfortunately it was too late. I started crying before I could turn my body around and make a run for it. Of course Edward had heard me and was instantly after me.

It wasn't until I felt him touch my arm, I'm assuming to try and stop me, that my brain turned back on.

How could I let this happen again? How could I let him in again? Just like the first time – the second I started believing I was different to him – that he was different – that we could really be something special, he reminds me of who he will always be. And why do I seem to always fucking fall for it!

What is it about Edward Cullen that makes me forget all common sense?

You should have let him completely explain.

No I shouldn't have.

He could have been telling the truth. He did seem pretty sincere about everything.

Great now my conscience is going stupid just like my heart.

Of course now I'm actually carrying on a conversation with my conscience.

Half a bottle of tequila by yourself in just over an hour will do that to you.

Yes but I'm trying to forget the pain of what he just did to me.

But he said Jasper and Emmett knew about it and they wouldn't have let him hurt…

I suppose that's true…

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

"AH!" I yelled as I was startled by the booming voice right next to my ear. "Fuck Emmett…wait….where'd you come from?"

"The door."

"No shit Sherlock but I bolted the shit out of that door before I…" I said then took in the empty bottles of tequila sitting on the table in front of me. "Did I drink all of that this morning?"

"Um…Bells honey…its Thursday. We've been in and out of your house the whole week making sure you're still breathing. Even Alice and Rose have come over. You haven't said a word to us all week until just now. Did you not realize almost a whole week had past?" Jasper asked from somewhere on the other side of me.

"No…I've been…what are you saying? That I've been…comatose?"

"That's a good way to put it." Emmett snorted.

"Well I know I locked my whole house so how did you get in?" I asked choosing to ignore what they had just told me. There was no way it was Thursday. It was just yesterday that he…

No I can't think about it. Even with just the beginning thoughts of Saturday morning I can feel my whole body ripping apart starting with my heart.

God I'm such a fucking idiot for trusting him!

"We picked the lock on your back door and we're here because we just came from talking to Edward…well he didn't do much talking. More like drinking and grunting and nodding and hanging his head and sobbing and…he's been pretty much like you except he's just been drunk this whole time…uh well I guess that's pretty much like you too."

"I get the picture Emmett. Can we please not discuss that asshole? The less memories I have of him the better…in fact…can one of you go pick me up another bottle of tequila? When I was drunk I didn't think of him once. It was marvelous."

"No we will not let you drink yourself to oblivion." Jasper said as he sat down next to me on my couch.

"Why not? It makes me feel better and I get to forget the pain in my chest. It only hurts in my head now."

"It's like déjà vu except instead of a brooding bastard we have a whiny stupid girl." Emmett said as he sat down on the other side of me.

"You know, you two really suck balls at this try to cheer-up the heartbroken girl thing. Where are my girls? I need my Ali and Rosie."

"They can't help you this time." Jasper said.

"Why not?"

"Because they don't know what we know."

"Oh. Well please enlighten me oh wise ones?"

"We know you're stupid. We know you're so sure all love ends in pain that you wouldn't even let this thing with Edward have a chance before you found a way to end it." Emmett said.

"You two didn't see what I saw this morning…er Saturday morning I guess." I said remembering it was supposedly somehow Thursday.

Wonder what happened at the office all week?

Who the fuck cares about work. I don't care if I ever go back. He can have the fucking practice. I'll move somewhere else.

"We do know what you saw. You saw a blonde chick answer his door wearing only a t-shirt. You saw what you expected to see and not what was truly there. If you had truly looked you would have seen the fact that the couch was made out like a bed. You would have seen Lauren's baby in her play-pin while Lilly played with her. You would have seen that Edward was trying to tell you who she was." Jasper said.

"If you had let him explain he would have told you that Lauren is one of his mentored kids from L.A. He would have told you that her father was abusive and that when she got pregnant they kicked her out. He would have told you that the baby's father walked away from her. He would have told you that she's like his sister. He would have told you everything. But oh not stubborn Isabella Swan had to make an appearance and not let him explain." Emmett fumed.

"I…he…they…look it doesn't matter. I know what I saw. Get out." I said as I stood up and walked up to my bedroom, slamming that door as well.

I knew they were telling me the truth. But only because I damn well knew neither one of them would lie to me about anything…especially something like this.

I just couldn't tell them that. Thinking back to Saturday and Edward's face. His eyes. His reaction.

They were telling the truth. Edward was telling the truth.

And I over-reacted again.

Why do I insist on pushing people away? Even someone I love more than life itself.

Why?

After everything…I was so quick to jump back to believing that Edward could hurt me again.

Why?

Why can't I let myself believe in love? Why am I so afraid to be in love with him?

And more importantly how am I going to fix this newest mess I've gotten us into it?