A/N: The fic's namesake approaches closer…

Himura Kaoru

A week has passed, and you can still hardly believe that he's gone. Saito gives you Kenshin's Sakabato, and for days all you do is clutch it to your chest and cry in your room.

He must be dead. You know he has to be, because Kenshin would never be apart from his sword. The Wolf of Mibu offers to show you the corpse, but after explaining that it's so horribly burned and disfigured that it doesn't even look human, you pass. It would be too hard.

Yahiko, Sano, and Megumi feel the loss just as hard as you do. In fact, everyone in Tokyo that knew Kenshin is shocked and in mourning. It seems so unfair to you that such a great swordsman would find his death at the hands of a crazed, mystery arson and not in battle or old age. Of all the ways you pictured him dying, this was not one of them.

It's after a week that you're able to resume your daily life, although you are tired all the time and still burst into tears whenever anyone mentions your dearly departed friend. Kenshin is gone, but you are still here. You need to be there for Yahiko, who is taking this even harder than you.

He stays shut up in the dojo all day, but you never hear him practicing. The doors are always fastened shut, and he won't open them no matter how much you plead.

After the funeral, you sit with your back against the sliding door of the dojo, staring out at the pretty blue sky that is too beautiful for such a dreadful day.

"Yahiko," you say quietly, "Will you please open the doors? I know you're sitting in there all alone."

You wait and listen. From inside, Yahiko sniffs.

The gate is almost directly in front of you, and all you can think of is all the times you watched Kenshin walk through them. "Look," you say, "The sky is so blue today, and the air is crisp and fresh. It'll be summer in a month or so. Even though…"

You swallow.

"…he's gone, we're still alive. The seasons keep changing. More than anyone else, Kenshin would have wanted us to be happy."

There's no sigh of movement from within the dojo. You pull your knees up to your chest and sigh over exaggeratedly, wiping stray tears away from your eyes.

"Ah, I'll bet Kenshin was looking forward to that match you two were going to have! Too bad you've stopped training. Now you'll probably never be on the same level as him."

It's a gamble – normally this would made Yahiko so angry, he'd train for days, vowing to become stronger, even if it cost him a limb. You wait for some kind of sharp retort to hit you, but he doesn't say a thing.

You're getting worried. He hasn't eaten in days. "Yahiko," you begin, wiping more tears away, "Do you want to learn how to fight with your eyes closed? I haven't taught you yet." Nothing. "How about some lunch?" you try again. "We can go to the Akabeko! Don't you want to see Tsubame?" Still, the silence greets you. You know he can't see you, so your face twists in pain as the tears overflow while you try desperately to keep your voice steady. "Hey, say something, Yahiko," you beg. "Don't leave me out here alone. Please…come out… I can't lose anyone else…"

A shadow falls over you, and you look up to see Sano standing before you, blocking the blue sky. He takes one look at your face and sighs. "Why are you trying to cheer everyone up when you're the one who needs it?" he asks.

You sniff.

Sano takes a seat beside you and clasps his hands. "I have an idea," he begins. "It worked for me, maybe it'll work for you, too. You listen up too, Yahiko. I know you can hear us."

You wait.

"My surname isn't Sagara, you know that," he says. "It was the name of a man I respected with all my being, and he was killed unjustly before his time. I took on his name as my own to help cope with the loss." He pauses. "I think you and the brat should do the same."

"You think we should take on Kenshin's name?"

"As a way to honor him, to always remember him. It helped me. I took on a new name as a symbol of what I wanted to become, and I had a new life. I moved, got a new job, and was a new man. I'll always be angry about the death my captain faced, but now I feel at peace with it. Now, I and anyone I meet knows who he was, and no one will ever forget his sacrifice."

You look at the "aku" for evil on his back. He's never been without it.

There's a long pause. "I'll do it," you say. "I'll take on Kenshin's name. But… If I'm going to be a new person, I need a new life." Finally, your true feelings begin to gush. "Everywhere I look in this dojo and the house and this town, all I can see is him! I remember when he was still alive, and I can't stand it!"

You sob.

"I'm trying to be strong, for Yahiko, because he's taking this so hard, but I'm not taking it any better! I want to remember Kenshin in a good light, not wish every waking moment that he isn't dead!"

The doors slide open. You and Sano turn around. Yahiko's eyes are puffy and red, but he has the most determined look on his face that you've ever seen. "Do it," he says.

"Yahiko…" you whisper.

"Start all over. Sell the dojo, move somewhere far away, begin a new life. We all saw how you were when Kenshin left for Kyoto. If you stay here, you're going to go back to that Kaoru. That's not he Kaoru that Kenshin loved!" He jumps to his feet and dashes toward the sword rack, pulling the only non-practice sword from it and presenting it to you. "He wanted you to be strong! If you have to start all over to do that, then do it!"

You're both crying, and Sano watches in silence.

"I can't leave yet," Yahiko explains. "I've got Tsubame to look after. But I won't let you be alone for the rest of your life, Kaoru! When I'm old enough, I'll take Tsubame with me and we'll come live with you! Just… wait for me until then, okay?!"

You nod, but are so overcome you can't speak.

"When I think I'm ready to beat you in a match, I'll come find you," he says. "You're my teacher! My family!" He bows low, and a sob escapes you. "My sister!"

You wonder when it was that he grew up so much.

Sano puts his arms around you both, and says, "I'll come with you. There's nothing for me here, anyway, and I promised Kenshin I'd protect you until he came back. I'm going to stay true to my vow."

"Sano," you cry, "Yahiko! What are we going to do?"

"We're starting over," Yahiko says, squeezing you hard. "I'll just be catching up later."

"Where should we go?" Sano whispers.

The stories he's told you come rushing back, and you find yourself deciding, "The Mainland. We can open a dojo there, have new students. Learn a new language. Find a new home."

"The Mainland," Sano agrees. "You sure about this, Missy?"

"I'm sure," you say. "We'll wait for you, Yahiko."

"Okay," he agrees.

The three of you hug for nearly an hour longer. None of you seem to want to let go. It doesn't take long to prepare to move; there were people jumping at the chance to buy your father's dojo, and the house sells for a good price as well. You have enough money to live in China for weeks while you search for a place to set up your new life.

So, you and Sano pack, and Yahiko moves in with Tae and Tsubame. The day before you and Sano are due to leave Japan forever, you and Yahiko officially and legally have your names changed.

You are now Himura Kaoru.

You are now starting over.

A/N:

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