Hey everyone! Again, thanks for the reviews!
Oh, and, keeping with my replying to all reviews thing, here are the replies to anonymous reviewers:
Stina: First, thank you for your dedication to my story; you've been supporting it almost all the way through awesome! Thanks for all the reviews, sorry I haven't replied before, and I'm glad you like it. Btw you said you weren't English or American…where is it you're from, out of interest? Xx
Oceanlover14: Thanks for the…enthusiastic…review :P glad you liked it xx
May: Thanks for all the reviews, and the helpful comments about Mars Bars. I can't believe you guys don't have them…you're missing out, dudes. I'm going to send like a million over to America for you xx
Loads of Randomness: Love the name! And I'm glad your liking the fic thanks for the review xx
???: Thanks for the reviews! Glad you like the story so far, and do keep reading) xx
Sammi: Thanks for the review; I'm glad you like it. I decided when I started it that I was only going to write about F/G and the Marauders because you don't really know the new generation that well, and so I prefer to write with characters I know already. However, I think I might pull them in towards the end. Xx
You Know Who: Does your name mean you're Voldemort? Seriously? Erm…oops…I guess you didn't like the chapter where I told you to get a life…sorry…can I have your autograph? Anyway, thanks for reviewing, Voldy, I'm glad it tickled you xoxo (Voldy gets hugs. He's special.)
Norwiegengirlcomingsoon: Hey, glad you loved it! Thanks for reviewing, and yes, updates are on the way, I promise xx
Olivia: Thanks, glad you thought it was funny xx
Lol: I'm glad you enjoyed the jokes. I did, too xx
Yume Ninja: OMG ARE YOU A NINJA????? Sorry…little over excited there…anyway, glad you like it xx
Kayla: Thanks for reviewing, glad you seem to rather like the fic ;) xx
OKAY that was all the anonymous reviewers for the entire story, so sorry it took so long team!
On with the chapter: This one is dedicated to ValFish firstly because I like her name, secondly because she does very ego boosting reviews (as many do…I love you all) and thirdly because she was the first to review the last chapter.
We're with the Marauders this chapter!!!
This time:
I am not allowed to paint the House Elves blue and call them smurfs
Disclaimer: We've been through this. Overactive imagination. Fairies. Ring any bells? No? Oh, lordy.
~~~~~HP~~~~~
"Why don't you like me Evans?" James shouted across the Great Hall, attracting stares from the other students to the him and the other, red haired, fifth year.
"You're an arrogant twat!" Lily screamed back, her eyes flashing angrily
"Fine, maybe I am. But I'm an arrogant twat that knows every single damn thing about you!"
"You know nothing about me, Potter, or you wouldn't bombard me with your constant requests for me to go out with you!"
"Oh, Evans, you love them really"
"I do NOT love them! I love fizzy cherry juice. I love listening to the rain pitter patter on the window. I love the way that flowers open and I love hearing birds sing. For Christ's sake, I love the freaking SMURFS, truth be told, but I do NOT love YOU!"
"That hurts, Evans. And what in the name of Merlin's unshaven ankles are smurfs?"
"ASK REMUS!" Lily screamed as she stormed out.
James couldn't help it; he just had to stare at her butt as she left.
~~~~~HP~~~~~
Lily Evans' least favourite day of the year had arrived.
Valentine's Day.
It made her shudder just to think about it For the past five years, James Potter had sent her some sort of present, song, poem or magical creature that had asked her out, and each year she had rejected him. Profusely.
So, no doubt, sixth year would be much the same.
She didn't even want to get out of bed in case she was bombarded straight away, but Alice dragged her out of bed. Within half an hour they were creeping down to the Great Hall nervously.
Well, Lily was nervous. Alice was excited. And hungry.
They stepped into the great hall and looked around. Both took in an intake of breath in surprise, and then sighed in relief.
No roses, no cupids, no livestock…it seemed that this year, James had given up.
Lily could have sung at that prospect.
They sat down and started eating breakfast.
Lily took her usual breakfast; a fruit salad with pumpkin juice. She reached out to the jug of pumpkin juice in front of her, looked inside to check there was enough of it in the jug, and poured it into her glass.
But, the weird thing was, as soon as it touched her glass it changed colour and started fizzing. Lily started at it curiously, and then poured some into Alice's glass, who grunted her thanks through the bacon she was eating.
It stayed the same colour, and definitely didn't fizz.
What on earth?
Lily didn't know weather to drink this strange substance or not. She decided against it, and instead took the juice she had just poured into Alice's glass. But, as soon as she picked the glass up, the liquid inside changed colour and started fizzing, just like her own drink had.
She had no choice. She had to drink some.
She put Alice's glass back down, the liquid inside immediately turning back to pumpkin juice when Alice touched it, and tentatively picked up her own drink. It didn't change at all when she picked it up, and so she screwed her eyes up and swallowed some.
A familiar and brilliant taste filled her mouth and throat. It was sweet and fizzing and beautiful, and she nearly screeched with delight.
It was fizzy cherry juice.
~~~~~HP~~~~~
Lily finished tidying her things away at the end of Herbology. Alice was waiting for her, but Lily told her to go on, because she wanted to ask the teacher a question. Alice had just rolled her eyes and called her friend a nerd before leaving with a smile on her face.
"Professor, I just wondered..." Lily trailed off when she realised that the teacher had left with everyone else. She was on her own in the greenhouse.
Sighing, she went over to the door, making a mental note to ask the teacher later. She reached for the door handle, and tugged at it.
It wouldn't budge.
She pulled a bit harder, but the door just wouldn't open.
"Alohamora!" she pointed her want at the door, but nothing happened.
This was when she started to panic. How long could she be in here for? It was the last lesson of the day, so no one would be coming in until the next day…but, wait, it was Friday. No one would have Herbology until Monday morning!
She was just starting to hyperventilate when she heard a soft noise above her.
Pitter Patter
Pitter Patter
Pitter Patter
Rain. It was raining. The water ricocheted off the glass and made the noise that she really did love. It was like someone had sent it to calm her down in her inner nightmare.
And, just then, when she began to breathe at a normal rate again, all the flowers in the greenhouse started opening. Beautiful flowers, reds and pinks and blues and yellows and oranges and purpled. Colours that Lily had never known existed appeared in front of her, and she breathed a sigh of contentment.
It was going to be okay. She just knew it was.
The rain began to fade away, and flowers stopped opening. Lily tried the door again, and, to her surprise, this time it worked. She stepped out into the cold February morning and breathed a deep breath.
And that was when the birds started to sing. It was just one at first, a lilting melody that ran smoothly over the treetops. Then a second joined. And a third, and a fourth, and a fifth and a sixth and suddenly it seemed like there were hundreds of birds, all singing to Lily, for Lily.
It was beautiful.
~~~~~HP~~~~~
"Merlin, Lily, looks like someone's been set out to impress you today" Alice said at dinner as Lily told her everything.
"What do you mean?"
"Come on, Lily!" Alice exclaimed "Someone's been changing your day to get everything you love in"
"Right, sure"
"Lily, you love fizzy cherry juice, but they don't have it at Hogwarts. What did you have with breakfast this morning?"
"Well…"
"Exactly. You love flowers opening and the sound of rain on glass. On a random sunny day in February, rain started pouring only above the greenhouse, and all the flowers opened"
"But-"
"And you love birds singing, and there was like a choir of birds waiting for you outside the greenhouse! Someone clearly wants to be your valentine, sweetie!"
"Oh, shut up Alice"
Alice laughed at Lily's frown, knowing that Lily knew she was right. She went back to her dinner and left Lily to think about it.
And Lily was thinking about it. It made perfect sense, of course, but there was one thing missing. How in the world would anyone know about all this stuff? It's not like they could have made random guesses – fizzy cherry juice was not a thing most wizards knew about.
As she sat pondering this, four familiar voices drifted over to where she was sitting, and she turned to see the Marauders walking towards the opposite side of the table to where she was sat.
She sighed. She'd thought she'd got away from them for today, but apparently not.
"Alright, Evans?" James asked, messing up his hair as he did. She looked up at him, glowering, and was surprised to see an almost affectionate look on his face.
"Oh, Lily can't talk now" Alice cut in. Everyone, including Lily, looked at her questioningly.
"I can't?" asked Lily, confused
"No, you can't" Alice said, then she turned back to the Marauders, who were now sat down, "She's too busy trying to work out who her secret admirer is"
"Secret admirer, eh Evans?" Sirius repeated, clearly very amused
"Apparently so, Black" Lily replied venomously. Sirius just laughed.
"Well, surely he won't want to stay secret for long, will he, Evans?"
"Not everyone's as attention seeking as you, Black"
"Yes they are. They just do it more secretively"
"That's dragon's dung"
"Whatever, Evans" Sirius said, smirking. Lily rolled her eyes, but internally had the feeling that Black knew something she didn't. It was a feeling that she disliked intensely.
~~~~~HP~~~~~
Alice and Lily trudged up the stairs from the Great Hall, starting the epic journey all the way up to the seventh floor.
"Ugh, Lily, I cannot be arsed with this!" Alice groaned, proceeding to plonk herself on a step.
"Alice! You can't just sit on a step! People need to walk on that!"
"Yeesh, Lily. There's like fifty other steps, people can walk on those ones" Alice said, leaning against the banister.
"Alice, come on! You have to get up!"
"Why?!" Alice whined
"Because I said so, Alice!"
"But – wait, can you hear that?"
"What?"
Then Lily heard it. A tune from her childhood. Sung by approaching voices. What the hell?
La la la la la la
Sing a happy song
La la la la la la
Smurf your whole day long
And from the dungeons emerged twenty…thirty…fifty…seventy…what must have been a hundred smurfs.
Lily gasped in surprise, and Alice fell of her step. She, of course, had no idea what these things were, and an army of unfamiliar, singing, blue dwarfs must have scared the hell out of her.
Not Lily though. Lily stood, transfixed, as they kept singing.
Smurf along with me! The biggest one sang
La la la la la la la All the others sang
Simple as can be The biggest one sang again, and then they all sang at once
Next time you're feeling blue
Just let a smile begin
Happy things will come to you
Then a smurf with a big, blonde wig popped out
So smurf yourself a grin! She sang in a high pitched voice
Suddenly Snape appeared in the midst of all this, and joined in the singing, wearing a cape and looking as if this wasn't his choice whatsoever and was trying to find a way to escape and/or stop singing.
Oooooo I hate smurfs
Mrs Norris meowed from Filch's office
I'll get you, I'll get all of you if it's the last thing I ever do! Hehehehe!
Then the smurfs pushed Snape away, so he was sprawled on the floor, and sang in unison
La la la la la la la
Now you know the tune
Soon you'll be smurfing soon!
Lily and the newly recovered Alice offered the smurfs a round of applause, to which the bowed gratefully.
"Lily Evans!" A voice shouted from the opposite side of the entrance hall that they were still stood in from their efforts to get away from the Great Hall. Lily span on her heel and groaned.
James Potter was stood, holding a Lily in his hand.
"I've just proved to you how much I know about you. I know you love fizzy cherry juice but you can never get any in Hogwarts. I know you love to listen to the rain pitter patter on the window. I know you love the way flowers open, and you love hearing birds sing. I even know you love the smurfs. Lily Evans, will you please be my valentine?"
Lily's mind was spinning. How could he possible know all that about her? This was James Potter. James Potter didn't know anything about anyone except himself and his stupid Marauder friends. James Potter wouldn't bother taking the time to prepare spells to get Lily fizzy cherry juice, or making rain appear, or flowers open or birds sing. James Potter certainly wouldn't know what smurfs were!
"But…you…smurfs…how did you get smurfs?!" Lily could have asked anything, and she would go and ask that, wouldn't she? She was kicking herself mentally.
"What are you guys talking about? What are smurfs?" Alice asked, confused
"Them!" Lily exclaimed, pointing towards the crowd by the dungeons
"What, the house elves painted blue?" Alice furrowed her brow.
"What?" Lily turned to look at the smurfs, ignoring Snape, who was cursing at them all from where he was buried underneath them.
"James. Potter. You. Are. Dead." Lily growled.
James gulped, and laughed nervously
"Erm…well…Lily, I was just trying to make a point, you know"
"By undermining House Elves and painting them blue? That's just cruel"
"I quite agree, Miss Evans" a voice said from the top of the stairs.
James, Lily, Alice, the house elves, and Snape looked up to see Professor McGonagall assessing the scene with an eyebrow raised.
"Well, Mr Potter, I suppose you know where to go by now?" She said to James. He nodded miserably and followed her up the stairs. Lily ignored him as he went past.
After James and McGonagall's footsteps couldn't be heard anymore, Lily slid down the banister to where Alice was. She picked her friend up from where she was still lying on the floor. As they walked back up to Gryffindor Tower, Lily wasn't tuned in at all to Alice's high speed, inane chatter.
She instead was thinking about James Potter.
Well, it was incredibly cruel and stupid and everything she thought but it sure as hell was sweet.
If only James knew.
~~~~~HP~~~~~
"Sit, Mr Potter" James sat in his customary seat, and readied himself.
"Mr Potter, the house elves are not canvases, or parchment, or anything else that you can decorate as you please. They are living creatures. I expected better than you, Mr Potter, I really did" She pierced him with one of her intense glares and he couldn't help but shy away from it.
"I didn't mean it like that, Professor McGonagall" He muttered, squirming under her gaze
"Well, why did you do it then, Mr Potter?"
"Well, miss…"
"Yes?"
"There's no rule against it"
~~~~~HP~~~~~
Probably not as funny as other chapters…but I hope you liked it
Review, people?
And favourite lines, too?
Thanks team!
-MaryAlice