Hello everyone! I know, I know, I'm a lazy so-and-so and there is NO excuse. Hopefully there are still a few of you reading this...

Chapter 14

Alec pulled out of the car park and headed out of town. He figured that seeing as though most of Max's problems were tied to Seattle and she seemed less burdened when she wasn't actually in the city, he would take her as far away as possible. So he got on the highway out of town and just kept driving. He figured this would not only give her some physical distance from her problems, but that their time on the road would give her the time to try and work things out in her head.

After several hours on the road and many, many towns later, Alec felt Max rest her head lightly on his back. He could tell from the way her body was pressed up against his that a lot of the tension she had been harbouring at the beginning of the evening was now gone. He rode on leisurely for a little longer until he spotted a little B&B that backed onto a lake.

Alec pulled over, switched off the engine and gazed out over the vast lake. Dawn was just breaking across the sky and the surface of the lake was still and reflective like a mirror. Alec had trouble telling where the mountain ranges that bordered the lake ended and the image of the upside-down mountain in its reflection began. He felt Max stir behind him as she loosened her hold from around his waist, leaning back away from his body as she belatedly realised they had stopped, and Alec felt the cool morning air rush into the space she'd just previously occupied.

"Where are we?" Max's tone was flat and uninterested.

"I thought this might be a good place to have breakfast."

Max got silently off the bike and walked closer to the lake - a solitary figure painted against a beautiful yet hostile and unforgiving wilderness. If a picture was worth a thousand words, then that one picture told all too clearly the story of Max's life.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Alec asked quietly from behind her. From the expression on her face and the way she had withdrawn into herself, Alec could tell that the guilt and depression that always followed an altercation with Logan still had her firmly in its grip.

"Nothing."

Ten minutes later Alec returned with a tray of food and a couple of blankets; he'd managed to charm the old B&B owner into preparing a picnic breakfast for them to have by the lake. Being a romantic at heart the old woman had assumed their reluctance to join her other guests in the dining room was down to the fact that they were two young lovers stealing some uninterrupted time away from prying eyes *wink, wink*. Alec hadn't told her that his motives - for once - weren't nearly as dishonourable, and that he was in actual fact trying to stage a type of intervention.

"There's supposed to be a great spot down here," he said, appearing beside Max. He didn't wait for a reply as he led the way down towards the water's edge, and only turned to check she was following him once. When they came to a flat grassy area that afforded a spectacular view of the lake he set the tray down and spread a blanket, before placing the tray of food in the middle.

"M'lady." Alec looked at Max and cocked his head to the side, indicating that she should take a seat on the rug. Max moved to sit, tucking her knees up towards her chin and wrapping her arms around her legs, and stared out towards the lake. Alec settled himself down beside her gracefully and took one of the steaming cups of coffee and placed it in her hands.

Max took the coffee quietly, cupping it with both hands as she resumed staring off into the distance, not showing any interest in the beverage.

Next Alec picked up a plate with thickly sliced raisin toast cut into triangles and offered it to her.

Max reluctantly pulled her attention once more from the scenery, before looking down at it and shaking her head 'no'.

"Come on Max, you need to eat something," Alec prompted.

The last thing Max felt like doing was eating. She just felt so hollow. Hollow and numb. And she knew that no amount of food was ever going to fill the void in her soul. But as she looked up into Alec's eyes she saw his concern written plainly across his face. She swallowed the refusal that was already on the back of her tongue, and instead, reluctantly took a piece of toast.

Alec let out a deep breath, relieved he wasn't going to have to beg her to eat something.

They sat in companionable silence for minutes on end watching the sky change colour and with it the patterns and reflections on the lake's surface. Alec hoped this was what Max needed. Some time away from everything and everyone. Some time without any responsibilities, or anyone making any demands of her, or exerting any pressure or guilt. Alec knew he couldn't solve all her problems for her like he wished he could, but this he could give her.

"Hey Alec?" Max whispered quietly, her gaze never leaving the lake. "I just wanted to say thanks… for everything."

Alec turned his head to look at her. "You know you don't have to do that Max."

"Yes I do," she whispered.

"I've noticed how difficult things have been for you lately," he said, pausing uncertainly before ploughing ahead and voicing the thoughts that had been running through his head with increasing regularity for the past few months. "And it doesn't help that everyone expects you to be a superhero. You may be faster than a speeding bullet and capable of taking out an entire platoon of soldiers with only your big toe, but that doesn't mean the rest of the world has the right to dump their shit on you. You're not the Oracle of Delphi Max. You can't solve everyone's problems for them, no matter how much you want to or how hard you try. A lot of people are taking advantage of you by expecting you to solve all their problems for them - me included. I just want to give you what I think you needed most."

"And what is that?" Max whispered, turning to look him in the eye.

"Some breathing room. Some head space. You're being crushed to death Max. You're suffocated under the weight of everyone else's problems and expectations. And don't try to tell me that you're not, because I can see it. I've had to stand by for too long and watch it from the sidelines."

"You are right about one thing," Max said after a moment, still looking at him. "I did need some distance from it all. And thanks… for not trying to make me talk about it."

"I figured you'd know by now that anytime you needed someone to talk to, I'd always be here for you. And anytime you need to take a similar road trip, all ya gotta do is say the word," Alec offered earnestly.

"Thanks, Alec," she said quietly, laying a hand tentatively over his, not sure how else to let him know how much what he was doing for her meant to her.

"Max, you're cold," Alec said, frowning as he looked down at the hand covering his. He reached around behind her, his body brushing up against hers as he grabbed the second blanket and unfolded it, draping it around her shoulders.

"You've been looking after me a lot lately," Max observed with a small smile, surprised at how tender Alec was being with her.

"I just want to make sure you're really okay," he admitted, looking at her intently. Max found she was suddenly unable to hold Alec's gaze and looked downwards and gave a strained smile, one that didn't reach her eyes.

"I know you don't want to talk about it, but there's nothing I can do is there… to help with whatever is upsetting you?" Alec asked, forming the words carefully, knowing the problem was Logan but not wanting to come straight out and ask if she wanted him to deliver a message.

"It's okay Alec, I don't need you to sort him out for me," Max replied as she returned to gazing at the lake, knowing exactly what he was asking permission to do. "Logan has been trying to contact me so persistently because he wants to try to fix things between us, which did upset me at first because every time I thought about him I felt guilty about what I was doing to him. But now… last night something else upset me," she confessed so quietly it was almost indiscernible.

Alec waited a moment for her to continue before prompting her. "What?"

"I realised how little I had thought about him the last few days. I didn't realise until I saw him again last night how stifled he makes me feel. I was having fun last night and I resented him for ruining it. That was my first reaction Alec, resentment and apprehension. If I was only pushing him away to protect him, then I shouldn't be having these feelings should I? That's when I realised…" Max began to pick at a thread on her jeans.

"Realised what?"

"That maybe my feelings have not always been what I thought they were. I think that maybe I've been clinging to a dream, desperate to hold onto what I thought I had. Last night I think I woke up," Max admitted, turning to look Alec in the eye.

Alec was momentarily at a loss for words. For some reason his heart was beating furiously and he realised he'd been holding his breath. He released the breath in a rush. "What are you going to do?"

Max gave a sad smile. "Same thing I have been doing. Only I don't think I'll feel so guilty about it now."

"You know he's not going to give up," Alec warned gently.

"I know," Max replied, not wanting to think about the lengths she was going to have to go to to convince Logan that the fat lady really was singing their requiem this time.

"Alec," she said after minutes of silence had passed between them.

"Mmmm," he murmured, turning to looking at her once more.

"I have a confession to make," Max admitted as she continued staring out at the lake. She then turned to look him in the eye. "I told Logan you and I are together."

Alec paused, not knowing what response to make, his mind unusually blank. He finally asked the first question that popped into his head. "How long?"

"Since I first told him it was over."

"Geez Max!" Alec cursed under his breath, running his hand through his hair in frustration, finally understanding. "Well at least that explains his hostility."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked in a quiet voice.

Alec stared at her for a minute, analysing what it was that he was feeling. "Well I wish you could have found another way," he said seriously, turning to stare out at the lake again. Max just nodded sadly and starred down at her feet, feeling chastened.

Alec was silent for a moment. "But no Max, I'm not mad at you. I understand why you did it. But... you realise this just makes everything more complicated now. Logan is a smart guy and he'll see straight through this lie - if he hasn't already..." he said, now looking at her intently, wanting her to understand what lay ahead of her. "He's not going to give you up without a fight. I mean, the guy wouldn't even give you up when you died in his arms. The only way you'll end this is if you find the strength to tell him the truth and break his heart," Alec said shaking his head, hating the idea of the pain it would cause her when she actually came to do it.

"I know," she said softly. "But I don't know if I have the strength," she muttered, fighting back tears.

Alec suddenly scooted over to sit against her, slinging an arm around her to comfort her, sheltering her under his broad shoulder. "Max, you're the strongest person I know. You just have to decide what it is you want. And no matter what you decide, I'll be there," he promised.

With a shaky breath Max gave in, abandoning her fight to stay strong, instead leaning into Alec's arms and resting her head on his shoulder as he rubbed her arm in a soothing manner. It just felt so good to relinquish control to someone else, even just for a minute. As she surrendered to his embrace she could hear the steady rhythmic beating of his heart, and the warmth of his breath on her forehead as he rested his cheek on the side of her head. As Max breathed in deeply to steady her emotions she inhaled his scent. It was subtle at first but gathered in intensity, enveloping her, making her feel safe, and as the tension rushed out of her it caused her to shiver inadvertently. This reaction only caused Alec to hug her to him more closely, mistaking her reaction to him as a response to the cold.

Max sat very still in Alec's arms trying to decipher what it was she was feeling. She knew this violated the unspoken rules of their predetermined relationship. They were supposed to stay out of each other's lives, only interacting when a situation dictated it, both too emotionally fragile to expose themselves to the other and perhaps expose a childhood wound long buried.

But for a while now Max had been wondering whether she had these rules in place for an entirely different set of reasons. She now understood part of the reason was because she didn't think she could bear it if something she revealed caused Alec to look at her like Logan had begun to. If Alec despised her it was different. Alec was Manticore too. He was the same as her. She could always dismiss the criticisms and judgements of ordinaries by claiming that they couldn't possibly understand what it was to live her life, to have had to make the choices she had. But Alec knew. Alec had had to make those exact same choices. Sometimes even harder ones. She didn't think she could bear it if Alec looked at her with the same distaste written across his beautiful features as Logan too often had. Alec's good opinion now meant too much to her. For some reason she could not name she needed his approval and understanding. It was because of this fear that she had always kept him at arms length.

But Max knew that this was only part of the reason. Somewhere in the back of her mind she had been aware that there was something different about Alec. She had felt a pull the first time they had met; it was almost like the pull of the moon on the tides. She knew that for her own self-preservation she needed to distance herself from him. But she couldn't bury her head in the sand any longer. She knew there had been a shift in the dynamics between them, but she wasn't sure what. Were they simply just becoming better friends? They had definitely been spending much more time in each other's company, and she knew she could say now that she would trust him with her life. She could almost convince herself to dismiss it as that - that they were simply getting to know each other better. But she was finding it harder and harder to ignore the overwhelming sense of safety and companionship she felt when she was with Alec, and the little flutter her stomach gave when he looked at her a particular way. She had also thought she had detected a change in him. He was much more approachable, less reserved and more attentive. And lately when he looked at her she thought she could sometimes see a flash of longing and some unidentifiable emotion.

Max knew what she was doing was dangerous. The last couple of days had shown her that the more she leaned on Alec and depended on him the more her mind questioned, the more her heart ached and the more her body rebelled against her. She was feeling things for him she wasn't entirely comfortable with, her mind was asking questions she didn't want to answer, and her treacherous body was reaching for the comfort of his. She knew she was standing on a precipice looking down, and all she had to do was simply shut her eyes and take that leap of faith - she had a feeling that Alec might be able to make her whole again. But Max knew that if she fell her heart would not sustain the impact of the sharp rocks at the bottom again. And so she took a step back.

"Come on," Max said, suddenly standing up and brushing off both her thoughts and her pants. "I think we should be getting back. I just hope Syl and Krit haven't left town yet," she said with a frown, suddenly anxious she hadn't said goodbye to them.

"It's okay, I told them they could crash at my place last night. They'll meet us at Crash tonight," Alec said as he gathered up the dirty dishes and blankets.

"Well, don't you just think of everything?" Max affectionately teased, surprised at how truly thoughtful he was.

"Well, the odds of probability state that I have to get it right some of the time, Max," Alec conceded with a ghost of a smile.

"You get it right more often than you think," she breathed quietly as she turned and headed back up to the road.

After Alec had returned the dishes he found Max standing in front of her bike staring out at the lake again, and he was pleased to note that she looked far less wretched than she had only an hour ago, and he couldn't help but be pleased that at least some of that was down to him. He knew that he would forever remember this morning. Not only because it was one of the few times it had really just been him and Max - alone - or because she had shared more of herself with him than he suspected she ever had with any other living soul; but because this is how he wanted to remember them. Just them. Just Max and Alec and the lake. Out here they weren't super soldiers on the run, or Jam Pony employees, or former breading partners. They were just two people seeking comfort from the others presence.

After a moment Max reluctantly pulled her gaze away from the tranquil lake, finally ready to return to reality and all it had in store for her.

Alec pulled the keys out of his pocket and silently offered them to her.

"You drive," she said simply.

Alec gave her a slow, sexy grin in thanks as he mounted her bike and turned it on, his pleasure evident. Max couldn't help a corresponding smile at his delight as she climbed on behind and let him guide them home.

I know I have no right to ask, BUT..... ;D