Author's note: I sort of took myself by surprise with this chapter! It amazes me how quickly tension can build up... I was re reading Mockingjay when I couldn't sleep last night (Lord knows how many times that is now! I always cry at the ending. I think the day I don't will be a very sad day indeed!) And I got to the bit where Gale doesn't tell Katniss about the Capitol's Peeta-propo which comes after the rebels air the propos from 8, and I was just thinking, would Madge ever do that in a million years? Here's the answer...
Please review if you have time!
I don't own the hunger games :)
Posy runs up, pig tails streaming.
"Madge! Madge! I've finished school and I'm ready for my piano lesson now! You promised to give me to them for yesterday, remember? But I couldn't find you."
I'd completely forgotten about my promise to Posy in the late hours of the night before I went into 8, lost it in the trauma that followed in the daybreak after our bargain was struck.
Gale begins to object. "Posy, Madge has had a really tough day today. She's been in the command this morning and the hospital for most of this afternoon, we went to 8 yesterday, and there's this baby that needs attending to- long story, mum. I don't think now is quite the right time-"
"No it's okay." I cut across him, untangling myself from his arms and holding an ash covered hand out to Posy. "I did promise. Besides, I could do with a distraction this evening. I don't want to think about-" I trailed off, completely losing my train of thought it the flood of memories that followed my words.
Gale grins. "She can at least get a shower first. Right, Posy?"
Posy wrinkled her nose and agreed.
I wash as quickly as possible under the warm water, watching the only remaining evidence of my awful day flow down the drain and out of sight.
Out of sight didn't necessarily mean out of mind.
I didn't know how I hadn't showered since my visit to 8. It was all one big blur. It turned out that my injuries were more serious than first thought, which meant I got to spend a cosy day with Katniss and Finnick before being discharged, going to a huge meeting about propos in command only to go to another 2 hour haul in the hospital so I could be discharged again (This time for real.) Between all that, hygiene hadn't been my top priority. Suppose fires seem to do that to me.
Once my hair was clean (All traces of yet another district crushing fire erased from my person), I dressed in my fresh and only other set of clothes. Sighing at myself in the mirror, I climbed the many stairs that took me back to the Hawthorne's apartment.
"Come and collect her at 8 ish." I tell Gale.
"3 hours?" Asks Gale.
"Why? Do you not think it's enough?" I ask, feigning concern.
"No- just- you're going to play piano for three hours?" He sounds incredulous. I grin.
"See you later."
Posy is in a talkative mood, and I am more than happy to let her chat. Until, that is, the talk turns to how I landed myself in the hospital.
I look down at her sweet little face and wonder if I am seeing into the future. Will I ever know the love that can be life changing and soul destroying all in the same moment? Will I ever be able to guarantee a games free future for a child?
My imagination is filled a moment by a little girl with long blond hair and grey eyes and a boy with blue eyes and dark hair.
I would tell them the truth, the whole truth. I would tell them about freedom, and about every sacrifice made in their name. When they were ready. I'd tell them about a safe, happy future, and all that it had cost to attain. I'd tell them about a world ripped apart by hunger and greed, where nothing was certain, and death seemed imminent to us all. I'd tell them about how black, how evil a mans blood could run. I'd tell them about their grandmother, their grandfather, their Uncle Finnick and Aunt Annie, their Aunty Katniss and Uncle Peeta, their Aunty Johanna, Aunty Prim, Aunty Posy, Uncle Vick and Uncle Rory. I'd tell them about their mother and their father, and all the mistakes they'd made, in the hope that one day they'd never even have to think about making them.
I'd hope it would seem unfathomable to them. A dream, a nightmare, which told of a far off land… I'd hope it would seem like a bedtime story; a horror story, yes, but a story nonetheless.
A story which would never become real. A story which would forever remain a warning. Gradually, it would become old and worn and embroidered and elaborated and exaggerated, until the truth was hardly sure.
Until it died out completely, until people forgot... Until only the best of humanity was left, and the story was no longer needed, and no one had to reminisce- to relive that nightmare of a life.
I hoped, one day, all those lost in the games would be truly laid to rest.
"Madge? Madge, are you listening to me?"
"What- oh, of course. Gale, Katniss and I went to 8, where the war is. I got shot."
"You got shot?" She asks, her eyes wide in wonderment and innocence. Despite myself, I smile.
"Yes, Posy. I got shot."
"Can I tell mummy?" She asked, after a moment of deliberation.
"Yes. That's fine."
She paused a moment, digesting this. "Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. I keep your secrets."
I couldn't help myself. I laughed.
It turned out that an evening of piano with Posy was a better tonic than every drug under the sun that hospital could have given me. Little fingers keep me occupied, constant demands for more of my own music delighted me, and her laughter had the power to warm me through and through.
It is with shock I look at the clock on the wall and realize it is ten past eight. Shouldn't Gale be here by now?
I check the little digital clock on my communicuff. Yep, definitely ten past. You can count on the clocks in 13 to be accurate. Punctuality and strict routine is everything here. Understatement of the year, I think to myself with a grim smile.
"Your brother's late." I remark. Posy is still sat at the piano stool, humming a tune to herself as she looks through the book of sheet music I have given her. It's all my scrap pieces, the pieces that 'didn't make the cut' as Fulvia would say, but she seems to find them enchanting.
Confident she is happily absorbed, I flick on the little TV that sits in the corner.
It takes only a fraction of a second to realize what a mistake this was. They must be airing the propos. Memories, fresher and more vivid than any memories have any right to be, surface. Of screaming relative and victims, of rescue teams who have already given the whole thing up for hopeless and yet insist on persevering anyway, of children screaming for help…
But it is only a moment until the screen changes into something much more sinister, in my mind at least.
"No!" I gasp, taking in every inch of Peeta's tortured face, of the pained expression every time he moves. I recall the glowing boy first aired to us all in command.
This boy does not resemble that boy then at all. I am confident that, should he lift his shirt up, I would be able to count every single one of his ribs.
The door bursts open with a resounding bang. Posy jumps, sheets scattering everywhere. Framed in the doorway, he takes in the sight of me (My nose practically pressed up against the TV screen) and Posy (Who has evidently just woken up from the bemused expression on her face. She must have fallen asleep while my back was turned) and sighs.
"We have to tell Katniss." I blurt out. It's the most pressing issue at that moment.
"No." He says.
It's one simple word, but it has my blood boiling in an instant.
"Right. Okay then. Posy, could you wait outside a moment please?"
She hesitates, catches sight of the look on my face, and hops off the chair so she can scamper from the room. I cross the room in three quick strides and slam the door behind her.
"What do you mean, 'NO'? Are you out of your mind? Have you actually taken leave of your senses?"
"Think, Madge!" He exclaims in exasperation. "You'll only hurt her!"
There's something in his eye that tells me there's more to it than that. I run a hand through my hair.
"You speaking as someone with Katniss's best interests at heart there, Gale? Or Coins?"
The wounded look on his face is completely overdone and not at all convincing. "That's completely over the line, Madge! Of course Katniss! You think I care about Coin's stupid plans, all the crazy politics around here?"
"Yes! I do! You're being ridiculous. She's got you eating out of her hand and you are the only one who can't see it! All this politics- see how easily she sacrificed the people of 8 this afternoon? She didn't care. She just wants her propos. She. Just. Wants. To. Win. She's just as bad as Snow, and you're just another one of her unwitting puppets!"
"Now look who's being ridiculous! How the hell was she supposed to save all those people, Madge?" He fires back. "Just because I think one out of the three of us needs to be kept in the loop, know what's going on, does not make me one of her so called 'puppets.' And just because she's at war does not make her president Snow!"
"Alright, give me one reason how keeping that-" I wave a hand at the blank TV screen, my voice now rising considerably. "Will help Katniss, your friend, and I'll consider not telling her!"
He grapples for words a moment. I shake my head.
"I'm off to tell Katniss." I say, my voice returned to its normal pitch and consistency, though the disgust I feel towards him in that moment is evident.
He steps in front of the door, barring my exit. "I won't let you."
"You won't let me?" I'm screaming again. "You WON'T LET ME? News flash, I wasn't asking your permission! Since when did you tell me what I can and can't do? Katniss deserves to know the truth, even if you're too self absorbed to tell her, and nothing you say or do can stop me. So get out of the way of the goddamn door or so help me, Gale Hawthorne, I will rip you limb from limb!"
He steps away, and I sprint out, tears blurring my vision, not even waiting to apologize when I accidentally trip over an extremely bewildered Posy.
I race down the stairs almost ten at a time, mind fixed on the hospital.
Which is why I am extremely bewildered when I find Coin suddenly blocking my path.
"Soldier Undersee. May I have a word?"
All the fight seems to drain out of me, making me want to sag against the wall for support. Gale went running off to Coin... Well, at least that proves my point rather nicely. He wouldn't ever in a million years do that if he had his loyalties straight.
"If you make it quick." I snap, in no mood for niceties.
"Alright then, I will. Soldier Hawthorne just called me, in quite considerable distress, informing me you were about to go and tell Soldier Everdeen about this evenings- Capitol propo. I have to tell you how unwise that would be, given her current-"
A humorless laugh pulls her short. "Don't give me that. You don't care about Katniss any more than Snow ever did. You just don't want her to fall apart, lose her remaining grip on her sanity, before she can perform her part as the mockingjay. You just don't want her questioning you any more than she already does."
She seems to struggle a moment, wondering if she should defend herself. One look into my face tells her the answer.
"Be that as it may, but Soldier Hawthorne speaks as someone with her best interests at heart, and-"
"Does he?" I laugh. "Gale is pretty invested in this war, and your spiel has caused him lose sight of who he is. But I don't buy it."
"Alright." She says, seeming to resign herself to the inevitable. "Alright. If you so blatantly ignore the potential damage you could be doing to your friend by telling her, then fine. I will strike a deal with you. A better bedroom and a new wardrobe for your silence."
I shake my head. "Wow! Bringing our the bug guns!" I let the fake smile slip off my face. "You disgust me."
Honestly, I feel physically repulsed by her offer. How could she think, even for a second, that anything material could dissuade me from what was right? If she thought I was just another of the easy to subdue Capitol mutts she had accidentally-on-purpose rescued, she had another thing coming.
"Alright." She said, blocking my exit, a note of desperation in her voice. "Alright. What do you want?"
"I want you to rescue Peeta and the other victors. Right now, so I know you won't go back on your deal." The answer slips easily from my lips. I hadn't intended to say it, but now it seemed right. Deepest desire. If she agreed to this there might not even be a need to tell Katniss.
She could see for herself...
"I will rescue the victors if there is another appearance-"
I cut her off. "Sounds like a load of empty words to me, so, if you will excuse me."
Holding up her hand, she blocked my passage.
"I will put this in writing, and entrust you with the document to ensure I cannot go back on my promise. And you can keep the baby."
This stops me in my tracks.
"I- I can keep Cyra?"
"Yes." Says Coin, simply. She doesn't beat about the bush, and I'm grateful. My blood pressure is high enough as it is.
Thus far, I am unable to explain the pull the small child has over my heart. Smiling, Coin realizes she's hit her mark.
"I was going to give her to one of the infertile couples. All of them are desperate for children. But if you-"
"I won't tell Katniss." I say immediately. Coin smiles.
"Excellent. Now, allow me to escort you back to your apartment."
Thinking fast, I decide compliance, or at least the appearance of it, may be wise for now. But from that moment on, I don't trust President Coin. She has her own agenda, and I'm determined to know what it is...
And if she thinks for one second I'm not going to tell Katniss, she is going to be desperately disappointed...