It had been 6 weeks since the shooting. 6 weeks since Emily had been literally shoved out the front door of JJ's house, the deadbolt clicking behind her and her untouched bowl of ice cream still cradled against her side by her (now absolutely throbbing) wounded arm. 6 weeks since the last time JJ had said anything to her that wasn't work related, or made eye contact for more than a few seconds. 6 weeks of Emily putting her ability to compartmentalize to the test in order to seem normal, to seem ok. And, surprisingly, it was working. It was working so well, in fact, that even she was able to believe she was just fine...most of the time. At work she maintained her normal attitude, she joked around with Morgan, talked foreign films with Reid, argued over the best Paella recipes with Rossi, and even let Garcia rope her into an upcoming girls night before she could take a minute to realize that, of course, a girls night would include JJ. The way Garcia's face lit up as soon as Emily had agreed, her bright orange painted lips immediately spinning ideas for what they could do that would be new and different and fantastically fun, quickly shot down any hope Emily had of coming up with an excuse to get her out of what promised to be a painfully awkward evening. Which was why, when she'd walked into the conference room that morning to find an completely exhausted looking JJ downing an energy drink and weakly trying to cover up for the fact that she had obviously forgotten about Garcia's plans for that Saturday, she latched on to the inkling of hope that JJ would back out and give her a reprieve. Maybe she wouldn't be able to get that babysitter, it was short notice, and good babysitters were hard to find.

Then there was that pesky nagging coming from the back of her mind...or was it from her heart? Either way, it was the part of her she was doing all she could to keep locked quietly away in the dark. It was the part of her that heard JJ saying that Will was away all week and immediately whispered "He's away? Why wouldn't she tell you? Why wouldn't she want to see you if Will isn't home? She always used to call when Will was away. I could have helped with Henry. She knows I'd help, she doesn't have to be this tired, she doesn't have to be doing this on her own. Why doesn't she believe that?" It was also the part of her that started taunting her, reminding her that JJ wasn't hers, that JJ had Will and it sure as hell seemed like she'd picked him. It wasn't a decision Emily could readily understand, especially after the way JJ had roused her in the middle of the night during that case in Vegas, the night after they fought, then talked, then laughed, then fucked, just so she could make love to her slowly and intimately, all the while whispering to her the depth of her feelings and how badly she craved their future together. However, she had promised JJ that she would respect her decision, that if a life with her was not what she wanted then she would manage and move on. It was with that promise that she'd tossed a smile in JJ's direction and a knowing look at Garcia, succeeding in keeping the mood in the room light and teasing before the rest of the team joined them with pictures of violence and death. She reminded herself that she'd known when she'd started things with JJ, really let herself feel something for her, that she was getting involved with a woman who was already taken, she'd known there was no happiness to be found here for her except brief moments of physical comfort, and she'd been willing to take that risk even if it was destined to hurt her far more than it was worth. The violence of her work Emily could handle, death was an old friend, and it made things easier to have it around to hold her focus and allow herself emotional distance from the ever-present ache in her chest.

-Three Days Previous-

It was nearly 1 o'clock in the morning and JJ was cleaning the kitchen floor. Scrubbing the living daylights out of the kitchen floor might have been a better way to describe it, if it mattered. While she'd been at work and Henry had been under the not-so-watchful eye of Will, Henry had succeeded in transforming the kitchen into his personal canvass and, it would seem, had enjoyed creating "A master-beets, Mama! It's a master-beets!" JJ couldn't help the smile that spread across her face at the image of her beautiful little boy grinning up at her with paint of every color splattered across his cheeks, hands, and clothes. He'd looked so unbelievably proud of his work that she hadn't even been able to stay mad long enough to scold him before she ruffled his hair and scooped him up for a bath. The night had gone smoothly from there, with dinner eaten, bedtime stories read, and a tuckered Henry falling happily, and easily, asleep. While she'd been cleaning up their son, Will had popped his head into the bathroom to let her know he was going to meet up at a local bar with some buddies from the force who were in town from New Orleans and not to worry about waiting up for him. He'd left a quick kiss on the top of her head, which she'd really tried to get her body to lean into, and then he was gone.

JJ had tried to go about her usual routine after that, taking a shower which turned into nearly an hour of standing under the water while she worked at calming the irrational anger she felt towards Will for having let Henry create such a mess. It wasn't like Henry had gotten hurt or permanently damaged anything, and Will had explained that he'd gotten stuck on a call with his boss about a big case they were working and that when he'd left the room to go to his office Henry had been happily drawing at the table. She knew what it was to get caught up on a work call, lord knows it happened to her frequently enough, and yet she just couldn't shake how peeved she was. When she'd run out of hot water, JJ had climbed from the shower and prepared for sleep that refused to come, and that was how she'd ended up on her hands and knees in the middle of the night with a bucket of water and a brand new box of magic erasers. As she scrubbed a memory sprang forth of the last time she'd had to really deep clean this floor. It was years ago now. Emily had come over for dinner after a case, both of them needing a couple of glasses of wine and some good food to unwind from yet another grisly murder spree. What had started as nothing more than Italian food and girl talk had turned into a food fight with tomato sauce splattered everywhere, and the two of them half naked on the floor. Needless to say, they never did eat dinner. It was a wonderful night, she couldn't remember having laughed so much before or since, or having seen Emily look so young and carefree. She was so lost in the memory that she never heard the door open, not even realizing Will was home until he spoke from behind her.

"Hey Chere, thought I told you there was no need for waiting up." JJ whipped her head around, gasping in surprise before she took in Will's lopsided smile and slightly hooded eyes.

"Hey..." she answered quietly, blowing her hair out of her face and taking in her fiance's appearance. The slightly ruddy tint to his cheeks gave away just how much he'd had to drink, as did the minor sway in his walk as he made his way towards her.

"C'mon JJ, no need to finish cleaning that now." He reached down without waiting for a response and pulled JJ up by her arm. "I've missed you, darlin'." Will drawled, wrapping one arm around her waist and holding her close. JJ dropped the magic eraser, trying to relax into Will's arms and smelling the beer on his breath.

"I really shouldn't leave the kitchen like this..." She squirmed as the fingers of his free hand began to glide up under the hem of her shirt, sliding along warm skin. She planted a hand gently on his chest, pushing him back ever so slightly. "Will, it's been a long day." A deep laugh spilled out against her neck as he nuzzled into her hairline just behind her ear.

"That it has, and I know just how to give it the perfect end." His hands continued to wander beneath JJ's shirt and she could feel her body responding. Her back arched into his touch and she could feel the skin around her nipples begin to pucker as they hardened. She closed her eyes, trying with all her might to stay in the moment and enjoy herself, enjoy being with Will. But it wasn't working. Her body was there but her mind wasn't, it was stuck on how is hands weren't calloused in the same places as Emily's, how his fingers were wide and shorter where Emily's were long and slender, and most of all how she just couldn't let him do this if she couldn't stop picturing the woman she'd rather be doing it with.

"Will, not tonight. Let's just go to bed, please." Much to her annoyance, JJ heard her voice crack on the last word, coming out far more pleading than she meant it to. Immediately Will pulled back and looked at her, his brow furrowing.

"JJ, what's wrong?" He tucked his fingers under her chin and turned her eyes to meet his. "You know, it has been quite a bit now, what with you working so much. Can't we just enjoy our night?" JJ remained silent, fighting back the tears she felt pushing at the corners of her eyes and the confessions threatening to spill from her lips. She wouldn't do this. Not here. Not now. Not with Will's eyes searching hers, tender concern and lust mixing in equal parts.

"Nothing, I'm just tired. I'll finish with this mess in the morning. Come on," she looped her fingers through his, pulling gently, "bed. Now." Managing a crocked smiled to match the waggled eyebrows Will gave her in response, JJ realized that it wasn't likely all they'd be doing tonight was sleeping.

That night, when sleep did come, her dreams were filled with memories.

JJ hadn't thought the day could get much stranger, not after solving a particularly gruesome case where little true motive could be found, and not after the fractured team managed to come back together in order to do so yet left with much of their future still in question. But then she really hadn't seen herself ending the night in Emily's living room, gasping between kisses so intense she quite literally couldn't catch her breath. It was only when her hands began acting on their own volition, tugging at Emily's large silver belt buckle, that her brain kicked back in and realized what she was doing. Planting her hands on Emily's shoulders, she pushed herself back with such force that she stumbled slightly.

"Whoa, JJ" Emily reacted quickly, wrapping her hand around JJ's forearm to steady her.

When JJ woke up the next morning, her body curled around Will's, it was almost normal. Ever so gently, she reached up and brushed the back of her knuckles against his short beard. She couldn't remember the last time things had been easy between them, and a part of her longed for those days long past. When things were new with them, back before she told the team, when it was just their little secret, everything had been fresh and it had felt so exciting. Of course, none of that had lasted very long. Looking back on it she supposed she should never have let things get so serious with Will, but she'd been blind-sided by her relationship with Emily, truly never having seen it coming. JJ felt her stomach begin to sour as she continued to gaze at Will's face, completely relaxed in his sleep and subtly tilting into her hand. He was a good man, not without his shortcomings, but in the end a good man and he loved her so much more than she could ever love him.

Time was running out for them, of that she was sure. Maybe she couldn't let herself be with Emily, but it still wasn't fair to Will to keep letting him do all the work in this relationship. The problem was, even though she knew staying with Will when her heart wasn't in it was, in its own way, hurting him, she just couldn't imagine causing the pain she knew telling him things were over would cause. She wasn't brave enough. She wasn't strong enough for that, not when it would mean being on her own, and not when it would mean an angry custody battle that would be nearly guaranteed to damage Henry. She leant forward, brushing a soft kiss onto his forehead before pulling back and turning away while sliding out of bed, her movements just enough to wake Will.

"Good mornin', darlin'." Will's voice cracked with sleep, breaking off into a yawn. JJ glanced over her shoulder just enough to see Will roll over and settle back down under the covers. He was quiet for another moment before continuing, "You'll be home for dinner tonight before I have to leave, won't you?"

JJ turned away and headed towards the bathroom, hiding the conflict she didn't seem able to keep off her face. "I don't think I'll make it. You can drop Henry off at the BAU on your way to the airport." A muffled sigh was all she received in response, tension immediately blossoming in the air between them. She paused at the bathroom door, head hung and hand on the door-frame. "I'm sorry, Will. We'll talk when you get home."