Chapter Fourteen - Making Up
"I'm sorry you know. I was out of line. I would say I didn't mean what I said, but I did mean it, I just didn't know what I was talking about. I know more now, and I regret what I said, I regret thinking that way about you and your fiancée. I was silly and ignorant and immature. I really am sorry. I had no business in saying the things I did." Charlie said later that night as she sat at the kitchen table, nursing a cup of coffee. Julia sat across from her, holding apple juice.
Most of the guests had left, Seb was sleeping already, Draco on a mattress in his room, Draco's parents had already left. Severus was in the living room clearing up, staying away at the request of Julia, Silas was sitting on the back porch on the swing-chair with Belle.
As the guests had trickled out Charlie had hung back until it had become glaringly obvious to Julia that Charlie was waiting around to speak to her, and so she had offered the girl a drink in the kitchen, and constructed a very clear barrier to Severus and Silas to the kitchen.
"I know." Julia said. Her tone was not cold but neither was it warm, it just was. She didn't smile at Charlie but she didn't frown or scowl either, she just looked at her and it was obvious to Julia that it was unnerving the younger woman.
Charlie looked down into her mug for a moment, trying to find her courage in the last dredges of her coffee. She looked up and Julia was curious at the sudden glimmer of hope in those expressive brown eyes.
"Do you think we could start over? Me and you? Pretend I'd never opened my big fat mouth and maybe become friends?" Charlie said.
Julia didn't say anything.
Charlie looked back into her cup again when she continued, "You see it's just that I know I've only known Seb for a couple of months but I love that kid. He's more a part of my life than I ever thought someone else's child could ever be and I don't want to leave him, you know what I mean? But I don't want it to be awkward between me and you because then I may as well leave because this would hurt Seb more than me just leaving. Because I think that Seb may love me just as much as I love him and I don't want to hurt him. And I know you love Seb too, I can see it and Seb loves you as well, so I think that maybe if we could just get along it would be better for Seb, don't you think?"
Julia smiled on the inside as the girl continued to study the table top, the girl seemed to be more mature than Julia had originally thought her.
She allowed the girl to sit in her uncomfortable uncertainty for a few more minutes.
"Yes, I believe you are entirely correct. Sebastian is far more important than this petty squabble. Seb deserves more and if it is within our power to give that to him, we should." Julia said at last and Charlie was more than surprised when she looked up to see that the previously cool countenance had transformed into pure warmth and love.
Charlie smiled, timidly. "Thank you." She said.
Julia nodded. "Well, I don't know about you but I think it's time for bed." Julia stood up and gathered the dirty dishes, placing them in the sink.
Charlie stood up quickly. "Yes, you're right, I should get out of your hair. Thank you. For everything."
Julia nodded. "Severus! Charlie's leaving." Julia called and Severus appeared not a second later.
Severus' face was apprehensive, Julia nodded her head slightly and smiled.
"I want to say sorry to you too Severus. I was wrong, you are a good father and it wasn't any of my business." Charlie said, her tone now was less deferential than it had been when she was speaking to Julia, a little more challenging, as if she was daring Severus to accept her apology.
He just inclined his head. "Apology accepted Miss King."
"Well, goodnight then Julia, Severus, don't worry I'll see myself out," and the girl practically ran out of the kitchen in her haste to escape from the rapidly building awkward situation.
Severus watched her go, once he heard the clicking of the front door closing he turned back to Julia who was smiling at him.
"What?" He asked, returning the smile and moving closer to her.
"She likes you." Julia was almost grinning, Severus put his arms around her waist and pulled her into him, she wrapped her arms around his neck.
Severus frowned, "What do you mean?"
"Charlie, I think, has a little bit of a crush on you." Julia frowned, "Can't you see it."
"No, of course she doesn't. She's too offensive." Severus scoffed.
Julia laughed softly, "She doesn't realise that she likes you in that way, but she feels something and that's why she lashes out at you. I can see it, and I guess I'm glad that you can't."
"Why?" Severus' frown deepened.
"Because that way you won't get any ideas, and you'll be perfectly happy and content to stay with me." Julia smirked.
"Oh, I don't think you have to worry about that. Even if every other woman on the planet were to suddenly throw themselves at me I wouldn't be interested." Severus pulled her even closer, which was pretty impossible but somehow he found a way.
"Oh really, and why's that?" Julia's smirk grew.
"Because I already have the perfect woman that ever existed, and no one could ever compare to her." Severus leaned in and kissed her forehead.
"Really and who is this mystery girl?"
Severus laughed loudly, "That's for me to know and for you to figure out." Severus leant further in and placed a kiss on Julia's lips.
Julia deepened it, infinitely reassured by Severus' words. Severus pulled back just a little bit so that he could speak against Julia's lips. "I think we should go find the bedroom."
"No, no I think here's good." Julia's voice was filled with lust, mirroring her brain.
"Silas is still awake." His words were belied by his actions as Severus' fingers found the buttons to Julia's dress.
"Mm, don't care." Julia murmured, sitting on the table that the backs of her legs were pressed against.
"About what?" Severus enquired as Julia pulled him to stand in between her legs.
"I don't know." Julia replied and then they forgot how to speak.
Luckily for Severus and Julia or maybe for Silas and Belle they were far more immersed in their own worlds than anything occurring inside.
Belle was half lying on the swing chair, her head cradled against Silas' shoulder, his hand stroking through her silky tresses. They were quiet but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence.
"My dad sent me a letter yesterday." Silas said finally.
"Your dad? I thought that he passed away with your mum?" Belle asked, surprise evident in her tone. Silas couldn't see her face as they both stared out at the garden.
"No. He left after I turned seven."
It was quiet for a moment. "Oh. What happened?" Belle asked in a low voice as if she wasn't sure if she was allowed to ask.
"When Severus was four my dad lost his job. He started drinking heavily then and it affected him badly, he became abusive. Mainly of my mother at that stage, it wasn't long before Severus realised what was happening to his mother every time he was sent from the room. Severus began to refuse to leave and that's when Sev was dragged into it too. When Severus was eight and our mother fell pregnant with me Sev would put himself in between our parents to protect her, and from that time on it was Severus who always attracted my father's attention when he drank too much." Silas' voice hitched and he couldn't speak for a moment, when he finally got control of his voice he continued, "My dad found work during that time but never anything permanent, he was constantly looking for something else, and the fact that he was blind drunk most of the time didn't help him any.
"When I was born my father wasn't given a chance to direct any of his violence toward me because between my mother and brother I was always protected and there was always someone around to deflect the attention away from me. But it was terrible. It was toxic, that environment. And every time I saw my father beat the shit out of Severus it felt like it was me too. By the time Sev was fifteen he'd almost died more times than any of us could count. And that's when my father took off. He just left one afternoon after waking up from a particularly bad bender and walked out, we hadn't seen nor heard from him since." Silas fell into silence and Belle just squeezed his hand tightly between hers.
After a while Silas spoke again, "Severus has done more for me than anyone, than he ever had to do. He's been my real father since he was eight years old. It wasn't fair on him, it wasn't fair on my mother either to have to rely on her eight year old son to protect her. I think that hurt her more than anything, to have to allow Severus to take care of her so that she could care for me. By that time my mum was already sick. Weakened from years of abuse, she was already so frail anyway. She died six months ago, you know."
"Oh Si, I didn't realise it had been that soon." Belle turned her face to look up at him and was saddened but not really surprised when she saw tears leaking down his cheeks.
"Yeah, but it was a long time coming. I'm surprised she lasted that long." Silas gave her a tiny smile.
"So your dad contacted you?" Belle sat up properly so that she could look Silas in the eyes.
"Yeah, he sent me a letter. Told me he was sorry and he wanted to make it up to us, told me he'd cleaned up and everything. He also told me not to tell Sev that he'd contacted me because he didn't think he could take that confrontation yet." The derision in Silas' tone on the last sentence was tangible.
"Really? Does Severus know?" Belle frowned.
Silas scoffed, "Of course, I told him the minute he walked into the room. You don't understand, Severus is my father, my brother, my family. He's looked after me my whole life and I could never not tell him something so huge. I depend on him." Silas admitted the last in a voice so quiet Belle almost believed she'd imagined it. "I gave him the letter to read, he was so angry."
"Why?" Belle asked, she felt guilty because she couldn't help but be curious in Silas' family drama and to her it felt like she was betraying Silas by being so interested.
"I don't know, I guess because Dad really hurt him, really tried to break Sev's soul. But he would never have won, not when Sev was living to protect me and Mum, Sev told me that once, when Dad had left. I think he was also a little hurt that Dad was trying to make up with me but not with Sev, which I can't blame him for being. He hurt Sev far more than he did me and if there's anyone he needs to make it up to it's Sev, not that he'll ever really succeed that is."
"I'm sorry Si." Belle moved to sit on her knees and leaned up to kiss Silas' forehead.
"Thank you." Silas murmured.
"What for?" Belle kissed his hand that she still held within hers.
"For listening to me. For just listening. I needed to just talk it out. Thank you." Silas gave her a sad sort of smile and kissed her.
Ten minutes later and they were interrupted with a soft clearing of the throat. "Belle, I think perhaps it's time for you to go home." Came Severus' smooth voice.
Belle pushed Silas away and couldn't help the blush that crept up her cheeks. "Sorry."
Severus gave her a reassuring smile. "It's alright. Silas walk her home, you have ten minutes." Severus left the porch through the kitchen door.
Silas walked Belle home, holding her hand. He kissed her on the doorstep and she smiled at him and told him that she'd always listen to him when he needed her.
By the time he got home the lights were all out except for the night light in the upstairs hallway.
When he opened his bedroom door he was surprised to find Severus sitting at his desk chair, waiting for him. Severus' elbows rested on the desk, his head in his hands.
"Sev?" Silas asked cautiously, walking into the room.
Severus looked up, and nodded. "Sit, Silas." and gestured to the bed.
.Silas sat on the bed and faced Severus.
"What is it Severus?" Silas asked after a moment of silence.
Severus took a deep breath. "It's about Tobias."
"Oh." Silas nodded a little.
"Yes, oh. Silas I need you to tell me what you want. Do you want to make up with Tobias, because if you do I'll arrange it, I'll not say anything. I'll let you get on with it. But if you don't then when I talk to him I'll instruct him to leave you alone as well as me."
"Do you not want to?" Silas asked.
Severus shook his head. "I can't, not now, maybe not ever, but I just can't. I'm sorry. But if you do, I'll understand." Severus' face was expressionless but Silas couldn't miss the look in his eyes. It was almost hopeful, like Severus was hoping Silas would say no that Silas wouldn't want to know the man either, that Silas would support him, that Silas would show loyalty to Severus in standing against the man that had so deeply scarred him, and Silas wondered how he could ever deny him that. How he could ever say that yes he wanted to know the man that was actually his father not the brother who'd raised him as his son. That yes he in fact wanted to see what it would be like to have a real father. That yes he wanted to see the man again, and forgive him because this burden of hate was too heavy for Silas to bear.
So Silas shook his head and found a smile for his brother, "No. We don't need him. We've done just fine without him. Tell him he's too late." And that smile that Severus gave him made the lie worth it. It was worth seeing Severus so happy and relieved and it almost surprised Silas that it was that intense; that Severus was so desperate to have absolutely nothing to do with the man and that made Silas feel even guiltier, that he had been willing to reconcile with a man who'd hurt Severus more than anyone else could ever have hoped to.
Severus left after a moment, telling Silas goodnight and that he'd take care of everything, there was nothing to worry about, before re-joining Julia in bed.
It took Silas a long time to fall asleep that night, his life didn't seem fair and yet it was better than he could have hoped for six months ago when his mother had been on her death bed and Severus was depressed from the severe absence of Seb in his life.
And TA-DA! Chappie 14 my lovvies!
Hope you liked it, if you have a second a review would be much appreciated.
cara-tanaka: Haha! Thank you for always reviewing. I'm glad you liked the last chapter. :)
emi-chan74: Thank you, and yes I love Silas too, with all my heart. He's a sweetie pie! :D
Mira SeverusSirius Black-Snape: Thank you! :D
LemonDropsWoolSocks: Dear Young One, I am ever so sorry that I pulled the most irrelevant things out of The Super Massive Huge Review (known forever now as TSMHR) but they stuck most. They had incredible sticking power, well done! Ahhh dear me, sorry I get so mixed up between female wrestling and mud fights. I promise I'll try better next time! Excellent use of alliteration if I do say so myself, I fully agree on the assessment of Julia's own brand of revenge. Oh dear and that must disappoint you, we didn't really deal with Tobias this chapter did we? Oh well, next chapter should satisfy you then I think! Haha, and ice? No thank you, I relish in the burn! But yes, I'm evil and cruel but oh doesn't it just give you an insatiable curiosity for what's gunna happen next? Brilliant to hear the progress on your story. I'm really looking forward to you publishing it, I can't wait! Pottermore? No, I have not. What is it? Just another HP FF site? You're such a die hard Sevvie lover aren't ya! Haha it took me reading your review like ten times to get the pointed joke at the end. I was like 'what's not so fun?' but I get it now, you're being mean because I'm not telling you what's going to happen! Ah well I guess I'll just have to wait for the end of the story for you to tell me that joke. But on the last chapter's review you have to tell me that joke or I'm gonna cry, I swear! :D
twilight1987: Yeah, they are happy ducklings aren't they. Don't worry, after chapter sixteen time is gonna speed up a little and you'll see what'll happen soon I'm sure. :D
hani: Yeah I thought Julia was rather clever. Aww that Sebbie, you just gotta love him! :)
Celestialuna: Thanks!