Goten's class was a smart bunch of kindergarteners. Not only did they all know the alphabet song, but they could read and write basic words if needed.
"All right class," Miss Abrams said. "Yesterday, we studied U words. Can anyone guess what words we're studying today?"
"V words!" the class shouted.
"That's right!" Miss Abrams said. They made a list of words that started with V, like van and volcano and voice. Everyone wrote the words down on a piece of paper, except for Goten. He used two sheets of paper, so he could make a special list of V words.
The next day, Videl found a piece of paper in her locker.
Videl,
I loVe you Very much. Be my Valentime.
Goten
Below the writing was a drawing of Videl and Goten holding hands.
"Aw, that's so sweet!" Videl said.
"What is?" Erasa asked.
"It's a letter I got from Gohan's little brother," Videl said. She held out the piece of paper to Erasa. "He's six."
Erasa grabbed the paper and read it. "Aw, this is cute!" she agreed. "I remember him! He was a total cutie!"
This was not the best thing for Erasa to say, considering who was strolling down the hallway behind her.
"Talking about me, I hear," Sharpener said. "What's up, ladies?"
Videl scowled. There went her good mood.
Sharpener glanced at the piece of paper in Erasa's hand, then did a double take as he realized what was written on it.
"What the—?" Sharpener asked. He quickly grabbed the piece of paper.
"Hey!" Erasa said.
"Give that back!" Videl ordered.
Sharpener read the paper. "You got a special someone for Valentine's Day...and it's not me?" Sharpener asked, stunned.
"You'll never be my valentine, Sharpie," Videl said.
Sharpener felt like crying as Videl stole the piece of paper back from him and shoved it in her backpack. She slammed her locker door shut, and she and Erasa walked away, deliberately not paying any attention to Sharpener.
"How can she like another guy more than me?" Sharpener asked. "Me? I'm the captain of the baseball team, I have long flowing hair and...no valentine this year..."
It was basically the worst day ever for Sharpener.
"CURSE YOU, GOTEN!" Sharpener yelled. "I'm going to get you, whoever you are! Nobody steals my valentine!"
Valentine's Day wasn't for months, but of course, Sharpener didn't know that. He didn't own a calendar. If he did, there would only be one thing written on it: World Martial Arts Tournament, 9:00, tomorrow.
The next day...
"Ladies annnnnnd gentlemen!" the announcer shouted into his microphone. "Welcome to the 24th Techno-Sushi—I mean, Ten-Try-Itchy—Buddy-Kite?"
He squinted at his cue card, which read Tenkaichi Budokai. What joker wrote the cue cards in Japanese?
"I mean, welcome to the World Martial Arts Tournament! All of our contestants will be arriving shortly, including the Champ himself, Hercule!"
"Hercule! Hercule! Hercule!" the crowd chanted.
"Looks like the press is ready for us," Videl said, looking out a small window on the side of the jet copter.
"Good," Hercule said. "There, uh, there aren't any fangirls out there, are there?"
Hercule was secretly afraid of his fangirls. Some of them were crazy, and half of them were younger than his daughter. Some guys might be interested in young women like that, but Hercule sure wasn't.
"I can see a couple, but security is holding them back," Videl said, running her hand over her head and grabbing a big chunk of hair. She slipped on a hair tie to form a sporting ponytail, then shook it all out. Now she had the world's messiest ponytail. Good. She was ready to go.
Hercule tightened his championship belt and tested the fluffiness of his hair. Part of the left-hand side was sagging. Quickly pulling out a can of hair spray, Hercule got it back into place. Good. He was ready to go.
"Showtime!" Hercule said.
Hercule set the fog machine to run a minute, then pressed the button to open the door. As the door slowly lowered, he stepped out through the smoke.
"And here he is now!" the announcer shouted.
"Hercule! Hercule! Hercule!" the crowd chanted.
A crowd of reporters moved in, all shouting questions. Hercule grabbed the nearest microphone and began his usual crowd-energizing speech. "Have no fear, everyone! I fully intend to win today's tournament and give you all the best martial arts show you've ever seen!"
Inside the jet copter, Videl rolled her eyes and pulled out her cell phone. She started texting Erasa.
The man behind the desk was busy filling out entry forms for all the competitors. "All right, so you'll be contestant #46, Miss...?"
"18," Android 18 said.
"No, I'm sorry, you're #46," the man said.
"No, you idiot! 18 is my name!"
"Ah...I see," the man said, writing that down. "Please report to the trial area at eleven. Next!"
Chi-Chi stepped forward. "Sign these," the man said, sliding some papers towards her. They were standard contracts, such as release forms for her image being used on TV, an agreement not to sue the company if she was injured in the fight, and so on.
"So Gohan, think you're going to win?" Krillin asked.
"I'm not going to be in the tournament today," Gohan said. "Mom won't allow it."
"What?"
"I got grounded for skipping school and getting a week of detention, then not telling Mom about it," Gohan explained.
"Woah-ho-ho!" Krillin laughed. "You're turning into quite the rebel! Chi-Chi'd better watch out, huh? Next you'll probably kidnap the President!"
18 smiled. "And here I thought I was the villain of our little group," she said.
The friendly conversation—and all conversations within 70 feet—was interrupted by a familiar loud screeching.
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN, JUNIOR DIVISION?" Chi-Chi shouted. "Goten's strong enough for the big leagues!"
"All contestants under fifteen must be in the Junior Division," the man said. "Those are the rules."
"But that's not fair!" Chi-Chi cried. "It's supposed to be Goku, me and Goten winning first, second and third place! How can our family sweep the tournament if all three of us aren't fighting?"
"Rules are rules," the man said.
Chi-Chi made a snap decision. "Fine," she said. "Put Goten down for the Junior Division." She turned towards her other son. "Gohan! You're fighting today after all, but you're still grounded."
"All right!" Gohan cheered. He didn't have to use his disguise after all!
"Well, there go my chances of winning," Krillin moaned.
"You were never going to beat me anyway," 18 said.
"Gee, thanks for the moral support, honey," Krillin said.
Videl was wandering around in the fair, trying to find Erasa when an annoying blond man in a bright green suit jumped in front of her.
"Hey, babe," Sharpener said. "I have a present for you."
"Can it, jerk," Videl said. "I'm busy."
Sharpener ground his teeth. "It's that Goten jerk, isn't it?" he said. "You came up here to meet with him!"
"What?" Videl asked.
"The guy who sent you the valentine!" Sharpener said, his voice breaking. "You're in love with him, not me!"
"That...that's right!" Videl grinned. "Goten is my new boyfriend! You don't have a chance with me now!"
Sharpener fell to his knees and punched the ground. "It's not fair! It's not fair! I thought she's not allowed to date anyone unless he's stronger than her dad! No way this Goten guy is stronger than Hercule! Nobody is stronger than the World Champ! Not unless..."
Sharpener then got a brilliant idea. He would enter the World Martial Arts Tournament himself! In the final round of the tournament, he would defeat Hercule, become World Champion, and get exclusive dating rights to Videl. Then, he would get a soft pretzel with lots of salt and cheese dip!
Sharpener's stomach grumbled. Scratch that. He would get the pretzel now, and then he would enter the World Martial Arts Tournament! Look out Goten! The Sharpenator is on the case!
"Where the heck is your father?" Chi-Chi yelled in Gohan's ear. "I don't see him anywhere!"
"Ow, Mom!" Gohan complained, rubbing his ear. "I don't know where he is! He might not even be here yet!"
"Where is that stupid witch?" Chi-Chi yelled. "I'll kill her if she doesn't bring my husband here soon! I've been waiting seven years for this!"
"You only found out Dad was coming last month," Gohan pointed out.
Chi-Chi slapped Gohan. "Don't talk back to your mother that way!"
"I'm right here," a voice said from behind them. Chi-Chi shrieked and almost fell over.
"Don't sneak up on me like that!" Chi-Chi ordered.
Fortuneteller Baba smirked. She loved doing that. "Hello to you, too," she said. "So, I suppose you're all ready to see Goku."
"Uh huh," everyone nodded.
"Well, good, because he's ready to see you, too," Baba said. She started moving her arms around and chanting. "Alakazaam, alakazoo...hey, is that a cotton candy stand?"
"Forget the food and bring back my husband!" Chi-Chi shouted.
"Chicka-chicka-boom-boom!" Baba shouted. A puff of smoke appeared and along with it was our hero Goku.
"Hey, guys!" Goku said.
"Oh...wow..." Krillin said.
"Dad!" Gohan said. He was so happy that he was practically laughing.
"Goku!" Chi-Chi cried, running forward to hug her husband. "I've missed you so much!"
"Aw, I missed you, too," Goku said. "It's really lonely with no one but King Kai around and—hey, is that a cotton candy stand?"
"Now, Goku, remember, you can only stay here for one day," Fortuneteller Baba warned. "I'm sending you back after the tournament, got it?"
"Got it, Baba, and thanks again," Goku said, giving her a thumbs-up.
Baba nodded in recognition, then headed over to the cotton candy stand for some delicious food
Goku and his friends, of course, had a great time catching up with each other before the official tryouts started at eleven. Then again, that was Goku for you; he was so friendly that he could find something to like about anyone, even Vegeta.
Vegeta still refused to talk to Goku, however, so he didn't even bother to show up and say hello.
The Z-Fighters all headed to the trial area shortly before eleven o'clock to beat the crowds, while the non-fighting Z-Fighters—Yamcha, Bulma, Ox King and the like—went to the stadium to get good seats.
"Hey, Gohan!" someone called out as he and his friends entered.
It was Sharpener.
"You haven't seen Videl around here anywhere, have you?" Sharpener asked.
"Huh? No, I haven't. Why?" Gohan asked.
"Because I'm trying to impress her, duh!" Sharpener said. "Word on the street is that she has a new boyfriend. Some super-loser named Goten."
"Goten?" Gohan asked. "You don't mean—?"
"Yeah, I hear he's a super-wimp with huge glasses and hair that's out of control," Sharpener said, swinging his long beautiful hair around to show it off, in case any ladies nearby were watching. Sharpener was about to brag about his shiny his hair was thanks to his super-special conditioner—he made it himself by mixing and matching four other types of conditioner—but he saw something horrifying: a split end.
He shrieked and ran away, trying to find a mirror, only he didn't watch where he was going, and he ran straight into a wall. Ouch.
"Um...is that one of your friends, Gohan?" Krillin asked.
"Kind of," Gohan said. "That's Sharpener. He sits near me in class."
"He seems kind of...strange," Goku said, scratching his head.
"He seems like an idiot," Chi-Chi said.
"Excuse me, everyone!" the announcer said into a microphone. "Can you hear me? We're about to begin."
There was a general murmur throughout the area.
"Welcome to the tryouts, contestants!" the announcer said. "Now, we'd love it if all of you could compete in today's tournament, but there are only sixteen slots. We're going to give the slots out to the strongest fighters, and the way we measure who's strongest is by using a punching machine like this one here."
The announced motioned towards one of two red machines designed for punching.
"Only one punch per contestant," the announcer said. "We want to get this done quickly, so we can announce the contestants before 11:30, when the Junior Division starts. Everybody got that? Good! Let's start things off with an exhibition from our current champion, Hercule!"
"HA HA YEAH!" Hercule shouted, running to the area and holding up his championship belt. "So you're the ones who are going to try to take my championship belt away from me, huh? Good luck! You guys are gonna need it, because this year is MY year!"
Hiding in a corner somewhere, Vegeta put his hands over his ears so he didn't have to hear any more of Hercule's blatherskite.
"I'm the winner of four world records, as well as the winner of the last two tournaments..."
"Where do I know that guy from?" Goku asked.
"He was at the Cell Games," Gohan said.
"I hate that jerk!" Chi-Chi said.
"Really? He seems kind of nice to me!" Goku said.
Krillin laughed. "He's good for a laugh or two, that's for sure!"
"And I! Will! WIN!" Hercule shouted, punching the punching machine with all his might. He scored an impressive 157, and walked off while the crowd cheered. He made his way back to the doorway leading to his private room. Videl was leaning against the doorway.
"Nice speech, Dad," Videl said. "Same as the one you gave last tournament, I noticed."
Hercule laughed. "Ha!" he said, clapping Videl on the shoulder. "Good luck with the punching machine, honey! I really do hope you make it into the tournament!"
"No worries," Videl said. "You know, Gohan and his family should be here. Wanna look for them?"
"See Chi-Chi?" Hercule asked. His face erupted in a huge smile. "Sure! Where are they?"
"Somewhere in this crowd, I guess," Videl said.
Hercule scanned the crowd, looking for green people. He quickly found Piccolo. "There!" he shouted, pointing towards the Z-Fighters.
"How'd you find them so quickly?" Videl asked suspiciously.
"I have great vision, that's all," Hercule said.
"More like you have the hots for Gohan's mom," Videl said. "Did I mention that's gross?"
Hercule ignored her as he made his way to the Son Family. Videl followed quickly.
"Hey, there! How's it going?" Hercule asked, clamping Gohan on the shoulder. "You guys entering the tournament?"
"Videl! Hercule! Hi!" Gohan said.
A few conversations broke out after this. One broke out among Krillin, Eighteen and Piccolo.
"Um...what's he doing here?" Krillin asked his wife.
"I have no idea," Eighteen said.
"They know each other," Piccolo said, closing his eyes.
Krillin looked at Piccolo questioningly.
"What?" Piccolo asked. "Gohan brought her to the Lookout one day!"
"Gohan's bringing girls to the Lookout?" Krillin asked. "Oh ho ho, I know what we'll have to look out for now!"
Another conversation took place between Videl and Gohan.
"You look...different," Gohan said. He had never seen Videl without pigtails before.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Videl asked.
"Well, your hair is all...new."
"I need to keep my hair out of my face, so I put it up in a ponytail," Videl said.
"You can do that?" Gohan asked. He poked the huge strand of hair that always hung down over his face. "I tried getting this hair out of my face, but it doesn't really work."
The most interesting conversation, however, took place between Chi-Chi and her two, ahem, admirers.
"Chi-Chi, nice to see you again," Hercule said. "Did you happen to catch my impressive speech?"
"That speech was the biggest load of baloney I've ever heard!" Chi-Chi said. "And everyone's going to know it, too, when you LOSE today!"
Hercule laughed nervously. "Ha ha ha, you don't actually mean that, do you?"
"My six-year-old could beat you!" Chi-Chi asserted. "Goten could snap you into—"
"Hey, Chi-Chi, there's no need to be rude," Goku interrupted. "He's just trying to friendly!" Goku held out a hand towards Hercule. "Hi, my name is Goku!"
"Goku?" Hercule asked, shaking Goku's hand. "Isn't that the name of...?"
"He's my husband, yes," Chi-Chi said.
Hercule's jaw dropped. He was going to say former champion, not husband. Chi-Chi had a husband? But she...she...
"YOU'RE MARRIED?" Hercule shrieked. "But I thought you...and I...I mean, I thought you were a single parent like me and—"
"Goku's my husband," Chi-Chi asserted. "Unlike you, he's a real fighter!"
Tears began to form in Hercule's eyes. "Fine! I never had a crush on you, anyway!" he shouted. "And just so you know, I'm going to defeat both of you in the tournament today! Waaaaaaaa!"
Hercule ran away crying.
"Did I miss something here?" Goku asked, scratching his head.
"It's not important," Chi-Chi said. Hercule likes me? she wondered. That's...huh.