Cold, so very cold. My, it's been almost a week since I updated this. Real life is kicking my ass, a full time University schedule, plus thirty hours at work to pay off my holiday debts equals a very tired LordMaster. And my footy team lost it's third game in a row, so I'm cold, tired, and sad... sigh.

'Okay probie, any ideas? I'm sick of coming up with the ideas.' Tony shouted as they weaved their way through traffic, effectively losing the Mexicans, leaving them with just an angry biker gang on their heels.

'Exactly, this was your idea. You get us out of it.'

'Listen McSnarky, if you ever want be a senior field agent, you gotta learn to take some responsibility in life.' Tony explained over his shoulder. 'You hotwired the bike, you're equally responsible.'

'You told me to!' McGee shouted back.

'The Nuremberg defence? McGee, that's weak.' They rounded another corner, Tony frowned and looked around. 'Hey! I know where we are.'

'Mexico?'

'We're about to drive back through the drop site, McLost, when we do, I want you to shoot at whoever is still there.' Tony instructed.

'With what? I'm out.' McGee reminded Tony.

'I'm not, grab my gun.' McGee nodded and reached around for Tony's gun, they went through a pothole and McGee's hand landed on something else entirely. Tony looked down, for a second, McGee was deadly close to being thrown into a cactus.

'Uh...' McGee mumbled as he realised what he was touching.

'How well do you type one handed, McGrabby? Because that's NOT my gun. Ziva will cut your hand off if she sees what you're doing right now.' Tony told McGee as he withdrew his hand, taking Tony's gun as he sat back up.

'Get over yourself Tony, Ziva's not that crazy about you.'

'Uh, I beg to differ... actually, I'm not telling you that. Details like that might turn you on, McInexperienced, and that's something I don't want when we're sharing a puny bike seat.'

'You said you had a plan?'

'Yep.' Tony paused to take another corner. 'We're coming up on the drop site, when we get there you're going to shoot at whoever's still alive and breathing, get them all riled up.'

'What does that achieve?'McGee asked, Tony laughed.

'Come on, it's like kicking up an ants nest, remember doing that as a kid?'

'I never kicked up an ants nest in my life Tony.'

'Right, McGreenpeace. Well, when you kick up an ants nest, they get really, really mad. If you're stupid enough to near them again, you get bit to pieces. I know because a buddy of mine bet me to run through this bull ants nest barefoot. I didn't walk for a week afterwards, which was bad timing, pre-season was starting and the coach wanted to kill me.'

'Right.'

'You shoot at the Mexicans, they get pissed, when the other bikers follow us, the Mexicans shoot at them, we're in the clear.'

'Oh, well when you put it like that, it still sounds insane. They'll just shoot us.'

'That's why you're going to wait until we're almost through the parking lot, McGenius.'

'You're really overdoing the McNicknames again.'

'I know, but I'm in hot form today, can't waste a talent like mine.'

'It's not a talent, its harassment. I could sue you.'

'Yeah? You do that, McBaby.'

'Now I see why Gibbs has to resort to physical violence.' McGee sighed. Tony grinned as they burst into the parking lot, weaving past an army truck.

McGee took a moment to absorb the chaos they'd left behind earlier.

The Suburbans were smoking wrecks, bodies were lying everywhere, the Coroner had only just arrived, his men were busy lining the bodies up like McGee had seen on TV many times before. La Policia were still standing around, looking angry and threatening, Tony elbowed him.

'Shoot!' McGee raised the gun and fired, deliberately aiming high.

It had the desired effect, the coroners dived for cover as la Policia began to fire.

The biker gang entered the square at this time, and as Tony had planned. La Policia assumed they were with Tony and McGee, and fired on them too. The bikers pulled out their own weapons, sawn off shotguns and large calibre revolvers. McGee was spared the sight of more chaos as they escaped the parking lot for a second time.

Tony found a highway and took it as a good option to get far away as quick as possible.

'Where are we going?' McGee shouted over the engine noise, his eyes half closed from the force of the wind, he didn't put too much thought into how Tony was able to see where they were going in the face of the wind. Tony had put on his sunglasses, they weren't the best protection, but they helped.

'Well, McBoy Scout, if you look around, you'll notice that we're heading in a northerly direction, north means US soil. Typically, you don't find as many Mexican cops or drug cartels in the US as you do in Mexico.'

'How are we meant to get across the border? You're still a wanted felon Tony.' Asked McGee. 'I mean, the Mexicans probably haven't cleared you yet, they're not really that efficient.'

'Probie, people enter the US illegally every day of the week, what makes you think that we can't pull it off?'

'Well, they usually know a thing or two about where the hell they're going!'

'I know where we're going, we're going north, to the United States of America. Jeez, why do you always have to make things so hard?'

'Are you sure this road leads to the US?' McGee pressed. 'I don't know about you, but I really wouldn't want to get lost out here.'

'We're not going to get lost.' Tony replied in an exasperated voice. Tony spoke too soon, moments later their highway made a sharp turn east, Tony frowned, behind him, McGee was torn between the urges to gloat or panic.

'Now what are you going to do, huh?' McGee asked. Tony ignored him for about five minutes, until he spotted a gas station.

'We need gas.' Tony explained lamely. 'And the bugs don't taste that good, so see if they have any bandannas.'

'How about I pick up a map too?' McGee asked, Tony shrugged.

'If that would make you feel better.' Replied Tony in a nonchalant tone, McGee sighed and entered the store. Tony took the opportunity to call Gibbs.

'So you're still alive.' Gibbs remarked as he answered the phone.

'Yep, did you get Ziva to a doctor?' Silence from the other end of the line. Tony winced, could he be any more obvious?

'I will.'

'How's she doing?' Tony pressed, at the rate he was going, Gibbs was probably going to forgo the head slaps in favour of a 9mm piece of lead between his eyes.

'Fine.' Gibbs replied, it was totally unsatisfactory for Tony, but he decided not to push his luck. He knew that if Ziva wasn't doing okay, he'd have heard some concern in the man's tone, nearly ten years had taught him to notice those things.

'Right, okay.'

'Where are you?'

'Honestly? I have no idea.'

'Well, wherever the hell you are, don't make yourself known to the Mexican or US authorities for a couple of days. It's going to take some time for Vance to sort this mess out.' Gibbs hung up before Tony could say anything else, he tucked the phone away and gave himself a headslap for forgetting to ask about Jackson.

A few hours later, and Tony pulled off the highway into the desert. Using the map McGee bought, and his McBoy Scout talents, they'd decided on an off road route into the US that should direct them towards another road on the other side, along which they'd find a cheap motel to crash in until Gibbs let them know that Tony was no longer on the Most Wanted list.

Well, that was the plan anyway. Later Tony would complain about best laid plans, and how he was quite possibly the unluckiest guy in the world.

They found their way to the border easily enough, marked by a fifteen foot high concrete wall. The pair stood and gazed up at the fence.

'If Ziva was here, she'd have explosive we could use on this bastard.' Tony remarked after several minutes of staring.

'Come to think of it, now I remember reading an article about the construction.' McGee replied, which prompted an immediate head slap from Tony.

'You knew this was here? Why the hell didn't you say something?'

'I only just remembered I knew.'

'That's really convenient.'

'It's still under construction, maybe if we head east, we'll find a point where they haven't blocked it off yet.' McGee suggested. Tony growled, he had a bad feeling about this whole fiasco. If he wasn't so desperate to get the hell out of Mexico, he'd have turned the bike around and come up with something else.

'What the hell.' Tony shrugged in a resigned fashion. They climbed back on the bike and set off again. After fifteen minutes, McGee was vindicated as they came across the construction site, abandoned because it was a Sunday. They skirted around the site and crossed the border, Tony was grinning from ear to ear, he was almost tempted to stop the bike and kiss the sand, like the Pope.

Tony's happiness was short lived, moments later a pair of four wheel drives appeared, corralling their bike, and a handful of men jumped out, toting rifles, which were aimed squarely at him and McGee.

'You're too white to be Mexican aliens. Drug dealers?' One of them remarked.

'We're not drug dealers, US Federal Agents.' Tony replied.

'Let's see some ID then.' Tony scowled, his ID was in his desk back in his DC apartment.

'You got your badge McGee?' Tony asked him.

'No, you told me not to bring it.'

'I can't catch a break.' Tony sighed.