A/N: First off, want to apologize to you guys!!! I was in a super bad mood, and was feeling discouraged by some of the feedback I'd been getting recently, but I didn't mean to be so bitchy in my last A/N, so for that, I want to say a huge I'M SORRY!!!! You guys are awesome, and I'm so happy that you're still enjoying this story. I'm not going to stop, I'm way too invested in this story now. Thanks for all of your support. :-) Out of mutual agreement with EmmaleeWrites05, for personal reasons, I'm going to be beta-ing this story myself from now on, just as an FYI. So you can blame me if I spell something wrong or whatever!!! I love you hun!!! And I can't wait to work on CtR with your help!!! :-D

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Disclaimer: You know what I'm going to say. So I'm not going to say a word. ;-)

JPOV

The phone had been glued in my hand practically since Edward left my office. I kept willing the phone ring, to no avail. And it remained silent, at least from Edward. Several law partners called me over the course of the day, but I made it short. I knew that I had the case to work on, and that I was needed now more than ever, but I couldn't bring myself to care right now.

The only thing I could think about was Edward, and Bella, and what was going on right now.

I did feel guilty about what had happened. Or, at least, guilty about the timing. I was falling for Edward, but I was irresponsible, making him cheat on his girlfriend. I hated that I had made it happen, that I had lost my head enough to act irrationally. I never meant to do it that way. And whiskey was a flimsy excuse.

But God, I needed him. It hurt, how bad I wanted him.

I paced around my apartment, running my hand through my hair over and over. I'm sure I looked like a crazy person, but that's how I felt. It was tearing me up inside, not knowing what was going on with him, and unsure of when or if he'd call me back. It took all of my willpower not to call him every five minutes, but I managed to reign in that bit of madness and only call three times, and text once. I was very careful with the words I chose, as I was so apt to do lately. It seemed like being around Edward made me check myself, keep a cool exterior when really I was freaking out on the inside. Very un-Jasper-like. And I was trying hard to make sure I didn't cross any more lines than I already had. There were so many goddamn lines it was hard to know which ones went too far, and which ones were merely questionable, and which one were downright wrong.

I flipped on the TV to distract myself, but nothing worked. I couldn't focus on anything but the fucking phone in my hand, the thing that was my only tie to Edward.

And finally, finally, he called. I couldn't hide the relief in my voice as he caught me up on the situation with Bella, and we agreed that we wanted to see each other, outside of work. I did an elated, but silent, fist pump, and fought the urge to dance around the living room.

Edward was reluctant to meet up so soon, out of respect for Bella's feelings, but I couldn't help but feel disappointed even as I agreed. Next weekend, we would see each other, go out after work, maybe for a few drinks. God only knew what would happen after that, but I hoped and prayed that it would end up in my apartment.

I couldn't wait for a repeat of the office.

Johnny Cash crooned on my radio as I drove into downtown Seattle Monday morning. I had had a restless night, in and out of consciousness as one thing or another woke me up again and again. Every little sound had me springing up in bed, and why, I didn't know. And no matter how I positioned myself, it was never right for falling asleep.

At four am, I simply gave up and moved into the living room, flipping through infomercial after infomercial, finally landing on Nick at Nite and giving Steve Urkel a chance to take my mind off of Edward. But even Family Matters didn't help, and I watched the sun rise for the first time in years. It didn't move me the way it should have. Aren't sunrises supposed to be inspiring?

I was nervous. Plain and simple. First of all, I knew that Bella couldn't have been our only witness. It was a dark corner, and I had been wearing a mask at the time, but Edward hadn't been, if my hazy memory served me correctly, and so at the very least Edward would be subjected to some pretty harsh rumors. And if they recognized me…

It wasn't as if office relationships were banned .They were just… discouraged. Heavily discouraged. Edward could be facing a transfer, if not severe demotion in the company, if word got to the HR guys. It pained me to think that my actions could have set off something so terrible for the man I was falling in love with. These were the unintended consequences we'd have to live with.

And now everyone would know that I was gay, and that Edward was, too. Or at least, I think he's gay. Maybe bi? I'd have to ask him. I wasn't exactly clear on that point.

Traffic was a bitch as always, crawling as lane after lane of car had to merge and change lanes and avoid hitting each other and making the jam even worse, and by the time I got to the office, I was a half an hour late. Great. Make an idiot out of myself in front of everyone, and then be late the next day into work. Fantastic.

The office was quiet when I got in. Too quiet. It was high school all over again, when I kissed my first boy behind the shower walls off the locker room, and everyone on the track team found out and spread it around school. This was no different. It felt like every single eye was on me, watching me, anticipating my every move, looking at me critically. Edward was already at his desk, and I panicked. Do I say hello? Do I ignore him? Which will make this situation look even worse than it already does?

Edward had a strained look on his face, and he had dark circles under his eyes, like he hadn't been getting enough sleep, either. I wished I could give him the coffee I'd just bought, but I knew that would look just as bad to everyone. Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Nothing I could do would make this any better. No matter what I did, we were both screwed.

As I passed Edward's desk, I nodded to him. I would have smiled, or even winked, but I didn't want to seem flirtatious, nor did I want to ignore him. He returned the nod curtly, and it was like a silent agreement had been passed between us. We weren't going to say anything, do anything. We couldn't.

No matter how badly I wanted to ask him into the office so we could talk, that would be impossible now. We'd painted ourselves into an extremely tiny corner.

The second I stepped into the office, graphic flashbacks of two nights ago ripped through me. Visions of Edward's copper hair bobbing up and down on my cock, the sensation of his mouth against mine, waking up in his arms the next morning… The best orgasm of my entire life, the most important man in the world…

Fuck. I felt hard even as I slid into my chair, looking at all the files on my desk. It wasn't going to be easy holding back, ignoring these feelings and the monster in my pants. I wanted… needed… desired… him. Only him.

A rapid knock hammered on my door, and opened without my consent. Victoria's flame of red hair peeked into my office as I settled in. She was one of the partners at the firm, and one of my favorite coworkers. She was determined and tenacious, and not much fun to be around, but she didn't fuck around, and I liked that. "Heya, Jasper," she said informally, letting herself in without permission. "How's it going?"

"Uh… fine…" I said slowly. I was suspicious of her tone. Victoria was not a perky person, and she wasn't usually this… chirpy. I knew I was about to be on the receiving end of an interrogation. And she was good at it. I'd seen her in action in the court. Fuck.

"Well, that's just great. I'm having a great day, too. I mean, the weather is just fantastic today." It was raining. "Have fun at the party this weekend?"

Ahh, there it was. Didn't take her much time, no preamble. Straight for her target, just as always. In the courtrooms, they called her The Fox, mainly for her hair color, but also from her wily ways of getting information out of people. Trick you into giving away too much.

"It was alright, how was your evening?" I asked coolly, trying to keep the topic off of me at all costs. We both knew I was evading, but I wasn't a client on the witness stand. I was a master at this, too.

"It was alright," she said, flicking at imaginary lint on my shirt. "James and I had fun, but not nearly as much fun as some people, or so I hear."

For a brief moment, I panicked. Had she seen or heard more than just in that room? Was she in her own office with her husband, right next to mine, doing Lord knows what, and heard what had gone on with Edward? I must have let that fear flicker cross my face, because she broke out into a huge grin.

"I think it's great, Jasper," she said, her voice softer now. "Edward is a nice guy. Just… be careful. I don't know how many other people saw that little display, but I know I'm not the only one, and that shit has to stay under wraps. I've talked with Jenks, and I don't think there's any cause to make trouble with this. No one has to know… anymore than they already do, or guess, anyway. More discreet next time, OK?"

Why was she being nice? Victoria wasn't known for her generosity, nor her kindness. She must have caught on to this, too.

"I know what it's like, to be in love. James and I met the same way," she said, answering my unasked question. "It was in college, we worked at a different office, and we both got fired when we got caught making out in the supply closet; against policy." Her eyes were soft and sympathetic now. "I understand."

"Thanks," I said. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone else."

"Of course not," she said, and gave me another smile before slipping out of my office.

I exhaled, my entire body relaxing in relief as what she told me sunk in. Though others had seen, there wouldn't be trouble if I could just keep it in my pants. At least around here… I knew there was no official policy against inter-office relationships, so long as they didn't present a conflict of interests, but I did know they were frowned upon when it was a case like Edward and I. Not because we were gay, but because I was essentially his superior.

I sighed, and tried to focus on the memo on my desk. It was all standard; it was odd. Besides the stares and my conversation with Victoria, everything felt the same. Though my life had had a monumental shift, not much else had changed in the world, and it felt strange.

I just hoped that Edward could make the shift with me.

EmPOV

Edward looked like shit. I'd never seen the guy paler, which was saying a lot, since it looked like he never really got a lot of sun exposure. His eyes were dark, and it almost looked like bruises under his eyes, like he hadn't slept properly in several days. Well, good. Neither had I.

Ever since Bella had left my house, I was going insane. I had screwed up so royally, I honestly didn't see how it could ever be better in any way. My whole world crashed when she left, and I had no idea when I'd ever see her again, if ever. The thought of never seeing her again was too horrifying to contemplate. I loved her. I needed her. I couldn't handle being apart from her.

I spent all of Sunday being drunk. It was good for about an hour, and then it was simply sickening. I hated myself. I blamed myself for letting her kiss me, for holding her as I slept, because this simply added to the torture I felt. I blamed Edward for being a douche and not letting her go when he realized he didn't love her anymore. I blamed him for getting to her first, though I knew that was irrational.

And I was angry at them. Still. I was a pretty understanding guy. You know, if they wanted each other, which had been obvious to me since pretty much day one, then that's fine. Just don't let Bella find out that way. There could have been no worse way for her to find out that Edward didn't prefer her gender.

But I tried not to think about Bella anymore after the first drunken hour. I was drunk and stupid, and almost called up Irena, just to make myself feel better, because I knew she would be ready and willing. Almost called her, but stopped myself mid-dial. Thank God. The self-hatred I would feel for myself then would be epic if I allowed myself to be with someone other than Bella right now. It wouldn't be fair to Irena. It would make me feel better in the long run, and I didn't want a meaningless fuck. I ordered porn instead, but that made me feel even worse than before, because the star of the show was this tiny brunette who looked a bit like Bella if I ignored the tattoos, the piercings, the fake tits, the hideous makeup and general falseness that surrounded her. Bella would never orgasm like that. Everything about that girl was genuine.

Fuck.

Monday, I showed up to work hungover and exhausted, and I welcomed the self-inflicted pain I'd created. I deserved the headache, the sensitivity to light, the stomachache, the fuzzy-feeling tongue. But mostly, I just wished that Edward was suffering just as much as I was. And Jasper, too.

So I was satisfied when I saw that Edward looked much worse for the wear than I did. Jasper did, too, but not as green as I wished he would look. Until he saw that everyone was staring at him, and he scurried into his office, though not before shooting a meaningful glance at Edward, who returned it just as coolly.

As if they were fooling anyone.

I'd already heard ten different rumors in the lunch room already. Bella and I were not the only ones to see their little show.

"I had no idea Edward was gay!" Eric Yorkie whispered behind his coffee mug. He sounded hopeful.

"Oh, I always had an idea that he was," Jessica Stanley said conspiratorially. "You could just tell, if you looked at the signs close enough. It was pretty obvious."

"And who would have guessed Jasper would be gay, too. He's so handsome," Lauren Mallory whined. She sounded unhappy with the gist of this conversation. She's probably had her designs on Jasper since he'd gotten here. She had a tendency to do that. She'd followed me around like a lost puppy when I first started here, until I had to very nicely tell her to fuck off. Not in those exact words, but she got the idea, thank God, and had left me alone since then, though I caught her openly eye-fucking me from time to time. The thought made me shudder.

"Yeah, well, I can't believe they did that in front of the other firms! All of the bosses were here that night. I wonder if they'll get fired," Angela Weber fretted. "I hope not. They're both hard workers… Office parties shouldn't serve alcohol, that's just asking for trouble." She really did have a heart of gold, at least in comparison to the other yahoos here.

"Well, I hope they do. I don't want to be working with a bunch of homos," Tyler Crowley said, and even though I was angry at the couple in question, I wanted to leap to their defense, or at the very least, punch Tyler in the face. Homophobia was not OK in my book. I had to bite my tongue. The last thing I needed to do today was get fired for attacking a coworker. Or maybe I should. I wasn't sure how I could work with Edward and Jasper on a daily basis and not get angry at them. Or not think of Bella. The pain that her name invoked in me was a lot sharper, and a lot more acute than any anger I'd ever feel for the men. I'd get over that in no time. Bella… there was no telling how long it would take.

Probably never.

Jasper stayed holed up in his office all day. I couldn't help but notice that Edward kept darting sidelong glances at the shut door. Plain worry and stress was stamped across his face, and I felt a tiny creep of sympathy for him, though it was fleeting.

The tension in the office was thick. Those who had seen the heated liplock were supplying the fuel to the fire, and those who hadn't seen were feeding off of the energy the witnesses supplied, all adding in their own interpretations and gossipy details.

"Did you notice, that night, that their masks matched? Maybe they had it planned all along… I think they've been lovers for a long time now, they finally just cracked. After all, haven't you noticed how they are together? I think I saw them holding hands in the elevator one time…"

It was all a bunch of shit, but they weren't wrong that this wasn't out of the blue. Edward shifted uncomfortably in his seat, as if he could hear every single thought everyone was thinking. I thought he was going to explode or something, the way his face turned red, and I felt sorry for him once more.

The awkward day passed, and when it was time to leave, Edward shot out of there like he was on fire. I was slower getting ready, wanting to see how Jasper would be when he finally emerged from his cave. But he never did. The door remained closed.

My eyes shifted to Edward's desk. The photo of he and Bella was gone, and I had mixed feelings about this. On one hand, it relieved me. It meant that there had been a break there. That they had finally talked and gotten all their shit out into the open. On the other hand… I couldn't see her face. I craved her, needed to see her, even if it was a picture in a frame. But the way I had left things…

I didn't know if it was possible for her to forgive me. Or if I had forever blown it with the love of my life.

Fuck. My. Life.

A/N II: Ahhh, so much angst!!! This chapter was really hard for me to get out. Leave me some love!!!