CHAPTER 14-A Lullaby
"I am definitely awake now, so it's alright to kiss me whenever you feel like it."
When I hear him say that and see his mischievous smile, I'm not quite sure whether to laugh or cry. Either way, it would be an act of happiness. The relief I feel after the last hours fill with tension is truly comforting. I even allow myself to tease him back.
"I don't know. The deal was that you were going to be awake when I came back in the cave... So you didn't really earn it. I am pretty sure that quite a few hours have passed by."
"Ok, and what do I need to do to win another one?"
I am taken aback by the level of trust between us. I can even say that I love it because of the tickling sensation on my skin. But to be honest, I don't know what to respond. I don't know if I should continue playing this game or stop it while I can. What do I really want? I wonder.
All the things that happened in this last few hours may be confusing, but not at all unpleasant. And there can't be anything wrong with my feelings. Still, I don't dare saying what I think and I step back.
"Hmmm, I'll think about it, Mellark."
"A little compassion, Katniss. I've just come back from the dead." he says, grimacing and pursing his lips.
His face is so funny that I burst out laughing and he follows, though a nurse gets in at that same moment and scuffles us. Well, actually she scuffles me, as it is not a very appropriate thing to do after a strong head blow and being unconscious more than 24 hours. "I will go find Doctor Cinna" she says with an offended voice. As soon as she leaves, I turn to Peeta to apologize.
"I am sorry, she is right, I should have been more careful" Instead of adding what I would truly like to say, I simply smile and keep my thoughts to myself, the thoughts of being so infinitely happy that he was ok and letting myself get carried away.
Peeta looks at me, clearly amused. I see something in his eyes that I am not able to puzzle out when he adds: "It would have been better if you had kissed me, she wouldn't tussle you for that." He sticks out his tongue jestingly, finishing the sentence.
"Oh! You're impossible!" I exclaim, surprised as we start laughing again.
"Ok, ok. I'll stop fooling around, my head hurts." He says, closing his eyes.
Concerned, I lean in closer to him to see if he needs something. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeeze it reassuringly, so he knows I'm there. The door opens again as Johanna and Finnick enter carefully, obviously not knowing the good news.
"You're awake!" They say in unison.
An emotional Johanna darts for the bed to give him a hug. Finnick also gets there and tumbles over Johanna, hugging both of them as if they are some little kids playing, throwing themselves over one another. I take a step back, feeling like an intruder. 'They know each other for years' I think enviously.
"Finnick! Get up, you're smothering me!" growls Peeta.
"Of course, but Johanna can keep hugging you, right?" he replies teasingly.
"Sure. She always can do whatever she wants to. Besides, I've known her longer and she is much hotter than you."
Johanna looks at him lovingly, gives him a kiss in the cheek and takes his hand between hers. My stomach twists at the sight and I feel uncomfortable. I consider leaving the room with some excuse, but there's no need because doctor Cinna enters and sends all us out so he can run some tests.
We head towards the cafeteria to get a coffee. I can hardly walk, I'm sore from the last few days, both physically and mentally. Maybe this exhaustion is the reason why I'm wearing my feelings on my sleeve. With just one gulp of coffee, the hot liquid runs down my veins and muscles, bringing me out of my bewilderment.
"Well, how is Maysee's search going?" I ask.
"We have something, but it's not much. We've found the jacket in the rocks you'd pointed out. It was marked with her initials, we've confirmed that fact with her parents, they said the jacket was definitely hers. We've sent it to the laboratory to see if they can find something more, but after that rain, I doubt it." replies Johanna.
"This reinforces the kidnapping hypothesis, and in that case, it may be our subject. It's not very probable for a quiet girl, as her parents, supervisors and professors describe her, to be venture to climb over there on her own. It's more likely that she had been taken there." explains Finnick
"What is still unclear to us is what they did or took her after that. A girl of her age doesn't have much stamina."
"Helicopter?" I ask "It's how they rescued me and Peeta."
"Yes, it's one of our theories. There are many airports nearby that the distance could be covered by a helicopter. Beete is searching for the ones which give renting services first, so we can pay them a visit. It will take us a few days. So we can also wait for Peeta and return together" responds Johanna.
After finishing our coffee, we go back to Peeta's room, but Doctor Cinna is waiting for us at the door.
"How is he?" I ask.
"Good, for now. It doesn't seem like he has some permanent damage, but I'd like to keep him here for a few days, for the inflammation to reduce. The wound on his leg is not infected, but it will take some time to heal. Anyway, what I mean to say is that I wouldn't release him for at least a couple of days."
"Ok, no problem, we've got work to do, so we'll stay here for a few days. Thank you, doctor." I say, heading to the room.
"Another thing: I recommend him to stay alone this night. I made an exception because of the special circumstances, but he has strong headaches and it's best for him to get some sleep instead of having someone to make him laugh" he says, feigning an harsh voice. I blush, feeling like a schoolgirl caught causing harm instead of helping. My colleagues launch interrogating looks all over me.
"It's not possible for me to stay tonight?" says Johanna.
"No, no one. Doctor Mellark should rest now, but I'll let you say goodbye. I'll see you tomorrow to inform you about his state, is it clear?"
"Yes, doctor. Thank you." After he leaves, I turn to them and say "Can I borrow one of your phones? I need to call my sister, she must be concerned." Finnick hands me his and I mumble a 'Thank you' while they enter the room. I dial Prim's number, but she doesn't answer, so I leave a message. "Prim, It's Katniss. I don't know if you've been calling me, but I lost my phone. It's a long long story, I'll tell you when I come back quietly. I'm in Mayfield, at home, so you can reach me there. I send you a kiss."
When I enter, they are already saying goodbye to Peeta. I can tell that he's tired and the medications kicks in. Seeing him so unprotected and vulnerable makes me want to embrace him. It's not the first time I feel like that, It's been happening since the day with the bread. It's like an innate need to protect him, as he did with me.
"Well, It looks like it's time for you to rest tonight, Peeta" says Johanna "but we'll come to check on you tomorrow. In the afternoon probably. We need to make some visits first."
"How's the case going?" he asks.
"They told us not to talk about work... or laugh" Johanna says, winking. "I guess we'll see you tomorrow."
She lowers down and puts a kiss on his cheek, while Finnick grabs his hand and gives him a hug. I get nervous when my turn comes. I'm not good at this situations, at least it's not natural. So, I decide to do something less embarrassing as taking his arm and saying good night, but Peeta presses me to him. 'Well, he is still strong, after all.' He gives me a slow-motion kiss and whispers in my ear: "Good night." Goosebumps run all over my body. It's not what he said, but the way I think he said it. Not daring to look him in the eyes, I turn to leave with my companions when Finnick's phone rings. He looks at the screen and puts on a desperate face, answering the phone.
"Hey" he responds laconically. He covers the speaker and turns to Peeta. "Glimmer, she is worried, she wants to talk to you. You want to talk to her or can I tell her you need to rest?"
"No, it's ok. I'll talk to her." He says and I feel a kick in my gut. Finnick gives him the phone and asks if he wants us to wait outside, but he responds with a slight shake with his head. "Hi Glimmer" he pauses "I am alright, don't worry, it wasn't that serious." He is silent again and then continues "Don't cry, I am really OK, I told you. Thank god that Katniss was with me, she saved my life."
I don't dare look at him at all, so I have no idea if he was watching me when he was talking about me, but I prefer it that way. Finally, they finish the conversation and we leave. Finnick and Johanna are going to stay in the motel, but they drop me off at home first. When I enter the house, everything crashes down on me: the tiredness, the loneliness. I get a quick shower. The only thing I want right now is get in bed and sleep a thousand years, but as soon as I lay down and close my eyes, I realize I am not going to be able to sleep. I go out to the back yard and set up a rocking chair. Even though it's still summer, I get a fine blanket and wrap myself in it.
"Stars" I think, you can't see the stars this way in any city but Mayfield. With my family, I used to get out in the garden in the warm summer nights. My father would get his guitar and sing while my mother, Prim and I would swaddle in this same blanket and look at the stars, pretending to see them falling. Without realizing, I've quietly started to sing a lullaby which both of us used to sing to Prim when she had nightmares.
I miss them. A lot. I miss my family. I miss my best friend. I miss feeling that someone cares about me and being a part of something greater than myself. And also, I there's no need to fool myself anymore, I miss Peeta Mellark.
Dismissing my sleeping plans, I get dressed and decide it's best to take a walk, see if I can relax and shake off this feeling of loss and nostalgia that eats me alive. Nostalgia for times so far behind, it almost feels like they never happened to me. Absorbed in my thoughts, I continue trudging through Mayfield until I am back in the hospital again, not sure how I got here. I know it is too late and they won't let me see Peeta but I am here and I want to at least try. I climb up to the floor where the intensive case rooms are. Thank god, it's not the same nurse that gave me that murderous look just that afternoon or I wouldn't be able to do anything. I need to think of a plan for her to let me enter. I see the girl is young and she's reading a love novel, biting her lip, her eyes watery. She reminds me of my romantic sister. So I finally decide to make my move. After all, I have studied something about characters and behavior... and about manipulation too, I think.
"Good evening" I say with the sweetest voice I can muster. "Agent Everdeen."
"Oh, good evening agent. Do you need anything?"
"Hmm, I know it's late, but I need to see my colleague, you know, Doctor Mellark."
"I'm sorry. It's not possible. He is asleep and we've been ordered not to let him be bothered with work. Family visits are allowed only, and that is not the case here."
"Well, can I trust you with something?" It's now or never Katniss, let's go. I liven up, bend down and say quietly "He is my fiancé, but as you know, that's not allowed between colleagues, so nobody knows. You really couldn't let me in at least for a few hours?"
"I honestly don't know" she says hesitantly, but her voice indicates that she's about to give in, so I continue to push her
"Please.. It would mean the world to me."
"Alright, but just for a couple of hours. Either way, he had a strong sedative and he's asleep.
"Thank you very much, nurse! I just can't sleep without him."
I finally enter Peeta's room and he is deeply asleep, his breathing calm and even. Just seeing him sleep relaxes me. Instead of sitting in the chair where I slept the night before, I go straight to his bed and carefully lay down beside him, one of his hands embracing me. At least the last part of what I said to the nurse is true, I think. This is going to be a big problem because I'll have to stop sleeping with my boy with the bread sooner or later. But at least it's not going to be tonight.
And with that thought I fall asleep, mumbling the cradle song to scare away any nightmare that threatens to overtake me.
Hope you like this chapter it has a very sweet moment... Next chapter is all about the case and contains a big Everlark twist!
please review and comment it, you make my day with your thoughts!