A.N: Holy. Crap. It's been exactly one month and one day since I last updated – not exactly what I was aiming for. Since I have fall break for the whole week, I'll have more time to write – maybe. I'm sorry, but I'm in the process of High School applications right now (I want to attend a high school in the States) and have six different essays to write and submit soon...OH MY GAAHS. Anyways, enjoy this chapter and PLEASE review!

"HELL no!"

I stared, bewildered, at the seething Snape sitting before me on the hospital bed. "But – "

"Are you really that thick, Black? Did you come in here expecting me to hand you my memories with open arms? In case you forgot," he spat, "you tricked me as a cat. Isn't that enough to sate your sadistic humor? The only reason you're not cursed all the way to America by now is because..." a slightly dreamy look passed over his eyes. "You're James' best friend."

Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sighed. I muttered under my breath, "I can't believe I actually wish the potion isn't wearing off – you are so much more accommodating with it." Day by day, the potion had slowly worn off, just as Madame Pomfrey had said. According to her, there were only a few more days until Snape went back to normal. Naturally, James was overjoyed and could be caught with a huge grin on his face all the time. Unfortunately for me, that also meant that Severus was back to acting difficult – the last thing I wanted when I was on the hunt for his poisoner. "Snape, I don't need to dig through your memories...I just need that one of when you last had a drink before you felt the effects of the poison."

He leapt up, eyes blazing. "What poison and effects? I – wasn't – spiked! And you can't seem to get that through your thick skull! I love James! I don't need a drink to fall in love with those beautiful eyes...and smile...and his laugh..."

I hastily interrupted him as the familiar 'swoon look' stole over his face. "Fine – I need the memory of when you started loving him. Just put it in Dumbledore's pensieve, so I don't have to actually go through your mind." Hiding a guilty grimace, I decided not to tell Snape I had already seen his memories that night as he slept through the nightmares, and without his permission.

Snape pursed his lips as he stared at me with wary eyes. "And why should I give you my memory? I know I'm not poisoned, and I'm perfectly fine living with my Jamiepie for the rest of our happy lives." Wisely, I chose not to comment on the fact that James still ran away screaming whenever his "suitor" came near. Then...it clicked. The perfect, fool-proof way to get Snape's memory. Trying not to think of how James would kill me, I grinned and said triumphantly, "Give me the memory, and I'll hook you up on your first official date with James."

Snape's eyes lit up excitedly. "Really? You'll do that?"

I nodded smugly. "Yep – and I'll make sure he keeps dating you. Think about it; you won't be James Potter's suitor, you'll be his boyfriend."

As Snape eagerly pulled a memory from his head and placed it into a vial, I couldn't help but wince at the thought of the many gory ways I'd be murdered by one certain straight best friend.

xxxxx

"I have no idea how I convinced him. Absolutely no bloody clue." I breathed in astonishment to Remus, who was still staring in disbelief at the figure of James walking towards Snape. James flinched as Snape bounded forwards, and forced a smile. Snape had obviously dolled up – his hair actually looked not-greasy, and he was wearing his best robes. I nearly laughed at the glum look on my best mate's face, but hey – as Dumbledore said, it was for the greater good. That phrase has always seemed slightly eye-roll-worthy to me, but it has proved itself in this case. Pretending to brush away a tear, I waved enthusiastically at James and yelled, "Have a good time on your date, dearie!" As he surreptitiously flipped me the finger, I pulled on Moony's arm in the direction of Dumbledore's office. "Come on! We have a memory to witness...

In a hidden corner, a dark figure watched. Flinging a muffled swear into the shadows, the figure stared as Black and Lupin made their way towards the headmaster's office. They could not know! Panic stole into those hooded eyes.

They must not see it. And the culprit would make sure of that.