The Art of Awkwardness
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. They are all property of J.K. Rowling, and I am in no way trying to steal them.
She had been called judgmental and snotty, close-minded and stubborn. She was told she didn't like scalloped potatoes because she didn't have the courage to try them, that she didn't excel in Divination because she assumed it to be useless, and that she hated James Potter because she never gave him a chance. And so, the summer before her seventh year, Lily Evans made a pact with herself—to try something new every month. It didn't have to be monumental, but simply something to widen her horizons. Perhaps read a book she would never touch under normal circumstances, or wear her hair in a new way even if she thought it looked ridiculous. She tried to convince herself that it was for her own good, but she knew that in the back of her mind, she was really trying to prove them all wrong. She was standing up and saying, "Lily Evans is not the girl you thought she was!"
She had resolved that the first month of the year would be flying. She would get over her fear—not of heights, but of running into something—and try to fly again. She hadn't touched a broom since first year when she was required to try flying which hadn't worked out well, to say the least. But after many years of abstaining and reflecting, she was going to try one more time before putting her flying days to rest.
Lily planned it all out. She would wear slacks because flying in a skirt simply wouldn't do, and she would wear a scarf because the wind chill factor could be quite an issue. She would wear a pair of running shoes so that they wouldn't fall off in midair and she would put her hair up in a bun to keep it from blowing all over the place and getting knotted. A casual shirt would top off her flying attire. She would then march down to the field on the second Wednesday of September during her free period and get one of the school brooms to fly on—people always said they weren't all that extravagant and to her, that meant easier. She had checked to make sure no one else had the field booked and if someone else was at the field when she got there, she would move her entire outing to Friday morning. It was planned meticulously, and she refused to be caught off guard in any way, shape, or form.
When she got there, she found success, for no one was to be seen in the entire stadium. What luck! She felt her stomach knotting in fear, not yet over her young nightmares of running straight into trees or anything of the like. Of course, she could have gotten a certain someone to help her out in facing her fear, for her fellow Head Student was a master at Quidditch, but pride got the best of her. She told herself over and over that she really didn't need help and that she could do this by herself.
This mantra was forgotten when she got to the broom closet and found it adored with a large lock on it. Of course, how could she have forgotten? A second year was caught trying to steal a broom last year and they resolved to forever lock it. She could go back to her dorm and find that master key she was given at the beginning of the year, but by that time, she would only have thirty minutes, maybe, before her next class, and she needed at least ten minutes to prep herself for flight, so that simply wouldn't work.
Just as these thoughts raced through her mind, she heard a voice and approaching footsteps. "Lily?" It was a question of identity, and she closed her eyes tightly when she realized who it was. Even better. Now James was here to make fun of her. As he recognized her fully, she heard him break into a jog as he crossed the field. "What're you doing here?" he asked when he was no more than fifteen feet away.
Turning around sheepishly with an embarrassed look on her face, she let out a sigh. "I was going to try this whole flying thing," she said flatly.
"I thought you hated flying," he said simply, coming to a stop before her with a confused look crossing his face.
"I do. I'm trying this new thing…Nevermind. I just wanted to see if maybe I liked flying now that I've been away from it for a while, but the broom closet is locked, so I'm just going to forget about it and go back," she said quickly, only meeting his eyes for a few fleeting moments.
"No, don't do that!" he exclaimed, smiling suddenly. "You'll love it!"
"Well, that's nice, but I don't have a broom so unless I intend to grow a pair of wings in the next three minutes, I'm a bit stuck," she said as she began to pass him and walk towards the exit.
"You can use mine." It was then when she saw that he was holding his broom, and she grimaced. It was certainly not one of their school brooms. It was a broom specially made for a Quidditch player, not for a first year student, and therefore not one she should be using.
"I can't fly that. I'm fairly sure I'll fall off or something equally awful. Like break it," she offered with a shake of her head.
"Then you can ride with me."
"But I can't control it, I guarantee. I'll smash into one of the stands. Besides, I haven't even looked at a broom since I was eleven. I'm fairly sure I can't just pick up a—Cleansweep, is it?—and not expect to die," she objected as she turned her head sideways to read the name of the broomstick.
"Then how about this. I'll control it and you can sit in front of me—…"
"Absolutely not!"
"Alright, you can sit behind me then. I just figured you wouldn't want to hold onto me, but if you'd feel safer…" He was poking fun, but only slightly. She wasn't aggravated just yet.
There was silence for several moments as Lily contemplated her options. Finally, James spoke once more.
"If you don't make up your mind soon, it's going to be too late and classes are going to start." Another pause, and then a small laugh. "I'm not going to make fun of you or anything. C'mon."
And that was all it took. He let go of the Cleansweep and let it hover before them until he threw his leg over and motioned for her to sit behind him. "I'll be nice, don't worry," he told her with a smile. Somehow, she couldn't help but smile back as she took a seat behind him. "You can get a bit closer, Lily. I'm not going to bite or anything," he said lightly, and she reluctantly scooted a bit closer. Before she had a chance to respond, he was speaking again. "Hold on," he said and nearly immediately after, he took off. Her hands shot around his waist and she balled her hands in fists as a cry of shock emitted from her mouth. She rested her head on his back in an attempt to hide her surroundings from her, unable to quell her fear just yet.
Only a moment later, they came to a stop, though she kept her eyes squeezed shut tight. "Open your eyes," he said finally as he glanced back at her. Slowly, she opened her eyes and looked up to see the Ground before her, and the Black Lake glistening in magnificence. She had only seen such a sight through the windows of the Gryffindor tower which was not nearly as majestic.
"Wow…" she said quietly, her voice nearly lost to the wind.
"I know. Tell me about it."
A moment passed between them before she felt a chill at her neck. Hadn't she come up with some plan to keep this from happening? Releasing one hand from around him gingerly, she brought her hand to her neck and felt bare skin. Turning her head, she saw it twisting around in the wind just below them and she frowned. Before she had time to register that the scarf had fallen off or alert James of it, though, he was off. With another shriek, she grabbed his waist as he swept through the air and with a deft movement, snatched the scarf from the air and handed it back to her. She surprised herself as her laugh echoed through the air, but she didn't stop herself.
Forty-five minutes of flying filled their time, and when he finally landed on the ground, Lily let out a sad huff.
"That was far too fun! If only we didn't have Charms…"
"I never thought I'd hear you say that," he said in amusement as their feet found the grass and they dismounted.
"I mean, granted, I wasn't actually doing anything up there. I was just sort of sitting there and enjoying myself, but still! To think I could have been flying since I was eleven and I was just too horrified after that class. Thank you so much, James!" she exclaimed, a wide grin adorning her face.
"I was happy to oblige." He paused as he glanced up at her hair; the bun was messy with small pieces of hair falling out all over the place. In fact, if she simply shook her head, he was sure it would fall out altogether. "Look at you! Thinking you're so suave with your hair messed up like you just got off a broomstick," he teased warmheartedly.
She looked down as her smile grew, bring her hand up to smooth out her hair without success. It was then when she realized that he hadn't made fun of her or teased her as she held onto him for dear life. He had retrieved her scarf and he hadn't been a prick by scaring her. In fact, he was a perfect gentleman. As the silence grew, she finally spoke up. "Why were you out here anyways?" she asked.
"I was going to get a bit of practice in, but this was a much better use of my time." Another pause as they both smiled sheepishly, neither knowing what to say. "We should probably get back—wouldn't want to miss Charms, eh?"
With a laugh, she led the way for them to walk back to the Castle. To say the least, their classmates were quite confused when the two of them came in windswept and chatting jovially. They took no notice, though, and Lily even had a hard time concentrating during class. She had, afterall, to plan her next new experience for October which, she thought, just might include him…
Wow...Surprised to see me? It's been a while, eh? So, this chapter wasn't overwhelmingly awkward but I just really wanted to write something new. I had a lot of trouble keeping all sexual innuendos out of this scene, but I don't know how well I succeeded. I also went back and made some minor adjustments on all the old chapters, so perhaps I'll come up with something new before my winter break ends. Until next time (hopefully)
-Christine