"Christ on a cracker. How many green bean casseroles does one person need?"
I shove my fists into my tired eyes and try to remove the hallucination from my retinas. After Peeta and I finished fixing my mother's roof last night, she tried to get us both to stay for dinner, but I insisted that I needed to get back to Madge and Peeta said he should probably get some work done at the bakery. When I got back to the house, the things he told me on the roof kept playing over and over in my head until my cranium decided to take up the drums as a hobby. Guilt and confusion and something that smelt suspiciously like longing kept me awake most of the night, tossing and turning. It's been so long since I've had a decent cup of coffee. Which explains why I think I see Johanna in Madge's kitchen.
She wrinkles her nose as she lifts the foil off a casserole in the fridge and then turns to grimace at me.
"You look like hell," she says. "One little murder accusation and you decide to try out The Walking Dead look. Honey, it ain't working for you."
"I'm in survival mode here," I mutter as I finally wake up enough to realize that I am in fact not hallucinating and Jo really is standing in front of me.
"Lucky for you, I brought help," she says and waves towards the counter. I gasp and fling myself at the beauty before me.
"You brought Theo!" I lift him off the counter and spin with him in my arms, cradling him and then kissing his smooth surface. "Oh my darling, I've missed you so much. It's been torture without you here."
I glance up at Jo and carefully set Theo back on the counter before I throw myself at her. She shouts as I wrap my arms around her and then awkwardly pats my back.
"Okay, you are clearly in withdrawal. We're not huggers. Or did you forget that? Jesus, Katniss, what have I missed since our last phone call?"
She pries herself from my arms and hands me a bag of coffee beans she must have also brought with her, along with one of my grinders. As I set to work fixing us both a decent cup of coffee, I realize that it's been four days since we last talked. I completely forgot that she was supposed to call me back, too distracted with impeding a murder investigation, getting tased, and spending time with Peeta.
I catch her up on everything but my day with Peeta because I'm still trying to figure out how I feel about it and what I'm going to do, but I'm just so tired and sick of being the worst person everyone in this town knows that I start sniffling as I pour our coffee.
"Seriously, Kat? What's with the tears? It's not like you actually killed the guy. Who cares if a bunch of country bumpkins think you did? Tell me instead where we stand with the sheriff."
I take a sip of my coffee and peer into the fridge. "Wow. You're right. There's at least a half dozen casseroles in here. You feel like eating some mac and cheese? I'm pretty sure there's some left somewhere in the green bean forest here."
"Katniss Everdeen, what are you not telling me?" She spins me around and slams the fridge door shut, eyes going wide as she gets a good look at my face. "Holy shit! You didn't actually kill him, did you? Damn girl, I didn't think you had it in you!"
"Before we open that disaster pie, can you at least tell me what you're doing here? Is Daily Fix okay? You didn't set it on fire, did you? Oh no, the investors heard about this murder mess and changed their mind about the franchise."
Johanna grips my wrists and shoves the mug back up to my lips. "Drink like your life depends on it, Katniss, because I'm starting to think it might. The news from this thriving metropolis hasn't reached Philly yet, although I think I did pass a Pony Express on my way in so you're time might be limited," she snarks. "I left Thresh and Rue in charge of the shop for a few days. That voicemail the other day was from a Deputy Buckley. We kept playing phone tag so I figured it'd be better if I just came down here. Plus, I knew you'd be suffering from Theo Deprivation."
"You left Thresh and Rue in charge?" I ask and Jo rolls her eyes.
"They can handle it and you know it, but I love how you're more concerned with Daily Fix than you are with the possibility that you might seriously be going to prison."
"So now you wanna believe me?" I ask and Jo smirks at me, but that's when Madge walks into the room, humming and balancing a tray of cookies in her hands.
"Oh good, you're up!" she greets me with a smile before setting the tray on the counter. I was about to come wake you but Andrea Shriver brought over cookies and I got delayed." Jo grabs a handful from the tray and dunks one in her coffee.
"This chick is a fucking saint," she says, motioning towards Madge. "I've had to listen to her graciously deal with people stopping by to offer bullshit condolences over the loss of that sleaze bucket abuser for the last hour. I'm ready to punch anyone on your behalf, Angel. Just point me in the right direction."
I glance between my two closest friends, uncertain how Madge will feel about me telling someone she doesn't know about Brigham's abuse. But Madge chuckles and pours herself some coffee from Theo before sitting at the table.
"I see you two have more than just coffee in common," she says and Jo slides into the chair next to her. Then Madge smiles up at me. "It's okay, Katniss. Jo and I talked a little in between knocks on the door. I like her."
"As you should," Johanna says. "I'm hella awesome. Now, what are we gonna do about this pesky suspicion hanging around Katniss? Has she tried sleeping with the sheriff yet?"
"Sadly, no," Madge laments and I groan. "I've tried nudging her in that direction. I even left this whole house at her disposal and sent him her way yesterday, but no luck. He's not big into meaningless sex, though."
"A romantic, huh? That's just adorable. Although it will make things tricky since Katniss is allergic to affection. And really, Madge? Nudging? This girl needs a shove and a kick in the ass."
"I am standing right here," I complain. "And I am not allergic to affection."
"And yet you're still the number one suspect. Also not doing yourself any favors by attacking that adorable cat of your neighbor's. He came right up to me and purred until I scratched his ears after I pulled into the driveway. Why would you want to hurt a cutie pie like that?"
Madge coughs at the mention of pie and Whiskers and I glare at Johanna. "You're off my Christmas list."
"Don't you want to hear the news I brought with me? Who's Starla Summers? I was told she got into a fight with your poor deceased husband a few weeks ago."
"How did you hear about this fight if you just got here this morning?" I ask in annoyance.
"I smiled and chatted with the lady who runs the Gas N Sip on my way here. Told her I was a friend of Madge's." She shrugs and pops another cookie in her mouth like it's no big deal.
"Seriously? I was born and raised here. I actually am Madge's friend, and no one will give me the time of day, let alone spill secrets to me. You're here for five minutes and their tongues start flapping in the breeze. Unbelievable," I mutter into my mug and take a few more deep sips before I explode.
"Maybe you shouldn't steal her coffee then," Jo suggests and I grind my teeth in frustration. "Anyways, I guess Starla Summers has a son turning eighteen in a few weeks?"
"Yes, Eddy," Madge offers after stifling her laugh at my expense.
"Apparently Eddy needs a letter of recommendation for a college application and his adoring mother took it upon herself to ask everyone's favorite mayor to write one for him, since I guess Eddy's been mowing your lawn and tending your roses for a while now."
"A couple of years," Madge confirms. "He does such a good job and I don't even have to ask him to come over. He's here every few days, even during the school year."
"Well, according to Mayor Dickface, Eddy didn't mow the grass in the correct direction one morning and since that apparently makes Eddy lazy, he refused to write the letter."
"You have got to be joking," Madge moans and rests her face in her hands.
"Are you really surprised by this?" Johanna asks, but she places a hand on Madge's back and rubs soothingly.
"No, I guess not," Madge mutters.
"So!" Jo announces, smacking her hand on the table and making me jump. "Here's what we're going to do. Katniss is going to stop thinking everyone is out to get her and attempt to be kinder to the people of Twelve Willows. No more coffee thefts, no more attacking adorable cats, and no more third degree on the streets. You've been gone for ten years and that makes you a stranger to them now. Plus, they can tell how much you hate being here. So instead of reminding them of how you think you're better than them, maybe try to play nice with others and they won't be so quick to point their fingers at you."
"I'll bet they want to hear all about Philly and your life, too," Madge says softly. "Most of them have never really left Panem County. You're exciting and different and they don't know what to think of you, Katniss. They never really have."
I scowl into my mug and grudgingly admit that they might have a point.
"And," Madge continues after a deep breath. "I'm going to tell them about Brigham hitting me so they know just how awful he was and that it's okay that they didn't like him as much as they thought they should."
"No," I insist. "I still stand by what we talked about before. You hid it this long for a reason and I will not stand here and watch you give them all something to gossip about when that something is painful for you to deal with."
Madge bites her lip and stares at her cookies, but she nods and sniffles, wiping her nose with the back of her hand with a sigh.
"Well, that means that Katniss will also need to wine and dine the sheriff."
"I don't think that's a good idea," I protest, thinking guiltily of everything he told me yesterday. Johanna and Madge pay no attention to me, though.
"Where can one find a smoking hot sheriff on a Saturday morning around these parts?"
"He's usually working on renovating his bakery Saturday mornings," Madge offers and my ears perk up. I do want to see it after talking to him about it yesterday.
"Shut the front door! He's a fucking baker, too?" Jo shouts, making us both jump and Madge's eyes go wider than saucers. When Madge slowly nods in answer, Johanna leaps up from her chair and attacks me. She grabs me by the arms and even through my protests, I hear her muttering. "You are going to shower and shave your legs and your pits and especially your bush, even if we have to break out the weed whacker, because I will be damned if you don't take advantage of this prime opportunity to show your neglected lady bits some love before they shrivel up from disuse."
I try to fight her off, but Johanna's surprisingly strong for her small stature and the next thing I know, I am sprawled in the tub, still in my pajamas with cold water blasting down onto me.
"You are dead to me!" I sputter indignantly.
"Then this is my spirit reaching out to you from the next realm. Trim the bush. And stop making empty murder threats. That's what got you in this mess in the first place."