I Want Someone
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Hetalia or any of its characters, I do, however own the actual people I know in this story. Yes, they are not their own persons, they belong to me. And I love them!
I also do not own Pokémon.
This is a flashforward. Sorry this is how it happened. Got stuck on the chapter before this, so I went ahead and finished the NEXT chapter.
Chapter 14 — Heartbreak
~Around Three Months into Freshman Year of College~
Heartbreak is never easy to deal with… and is never quick to heal. It takes a lot of time to heal the wounds of being cheated on. To find out your significant other, whether it be your boyfriend or girlfriend or your husband or wife, was unfaithful to you and cheated on you with other… that pain that this realization causes is real. It is possibly the worst emotional pain anyone could be put through. It is something no one should wish upon others, because the possibility that it could happen to you is just as high as it is for everyone else.
Reagan typed this out as her description for a Kisekae picture she posted on DeviantArt and tears spilled from her eyes. Her heart, for the first time in her life, was crying — because of Alfred. It had been doing this since the previous night. Thank God she was alone.
~The previous night; 6:30 pm~
Matthew had gone home for the weekend, since it was a longer weekend, leaving Alfred in their room, all alone. Reagan was all alone in her room, just like Alfred should have been. The reason that was was because Mariette, Andrew, Lilly, Willem and Abi had also gone back home with Matthew. To visit family.
"Let's go visit Alfie! Maybe we could go on a date tonight!" Reagan exclaimed as she jumped off her bed. The dirty-blonde went to her and Mariette's shared closet, she grabbed her favorite blue plaid flannel shirt that kept her warm. Then she went to her dresser, and got out a pair of jeans. Quickly, she changed out of her pjs and into her clothes. Once her clothes were put on, she sat at the end of her bed and put on her heeled wedge boots that she said were hot.
Reagan, then, walked into the bathroom she shared with her best girl friend and began to brush her shoulder-length hair. She parted her hair to the right and a large amount of her hair hung in her face. A chuckle bubbled up from her chest as she combed the hair, with her fingers, behind her right ear. "I look hot," she said in a mock-egotistical tone. She wanted to look good when she went to go drag Alfred out on a date. It was a Friday night, after all, and they had never exactly been on a true date the whole nearly year they had been dating.
Being satisfied with her look, Reagan gathered her phone and keys then left her dorm room. Reagan locked the door and smiled widely, she was going to surprise Alfred that night. "Six months… I can't believe it," she muttered to herself. Taking her iPhone 5C into her hands, she fought the urge to text Alfred, to which she ended up doing anyways.
"Hey~! Bb, what'cha doin?" Her text read, then she sent many heart emojis. Butterflies flew around in her stomach, six months Reagan and Alfred had been dating. Six months of immense happiness for them, especially for Reagan. How had the time flown by so fast?
A permanent grin was plastered on her face. "We are going to have so much fun tonight," Reagan giddily said to herself.
As soon as she entered the boys' dorm, something in her gut twisted. Reagan tried to shake the feeling that something wrong was going on. Alex and Nathan were sitting in the lobby, watching television. They noticed Reagan and they seemingly grew worried. "Hey, Ray! What are you doing here," Alex asked.
Reagan looked over her shoulder. "I am here to get Alfie, of course! We've been dating for about six months and I wanna go out to celebrate!" She called with her grin never fading.
"Oh," Alex said quietly, looking quite worried.
The dirty-blonde Reagan was too happy to care or notice Alex's worried expression as she hopped into the elevator and clicked on the floor Alfred's room was on. She hummed as the elevator lurched before beginning its ascent, less than ten minutes later, the elevator lurched to a stop. The doors opened and the dirty-blonde exited the elevator and walked down the hallway to room ten — Alfred and Matthew's room. Reagan saw that the door was closed, which was not completely unusual for the brothers.
What surprised Reagan was when she went to open the door and found that it was locked. Her gut feeling was screaming at Reagan to not unlock that door with her key, but Reagan had always been one to never listen to her gut feeling: she faced everything head-first.
That day, however, the dirty-blonde truly should had listened to her gut feeling and walked away from the locked door. Alas, she did not and she proceeded to unlock the door. The scene she was met with was indescribable. To her, it was beyond being incredibly painful. Reagan was one-thousand percent positive that she both heard and felt her heart being broken.
Our self-proclaimed Italian female was positive that her heart was being shattered into a million pieces. Her chest clenched and became unbearably tight; her lungs refused to function properly; her mind almost completely shut down. With her body going completely numb, Reagan fell to her knees at the threshold of the room.
In front of her, on Alfred's bed was another girl on top of Reagan's boyfriend. Alfred's hands were all over the other girl; they were all over each other. The other girl's hands were entangled in Alfred's sandy blonde hair. What made it worse was the noises coming from the pair: moans and groans of a pleasure-induced nature.
Reagan was so numb, she could not even form coherent thoughts; she was just there, on her knees, at the threshold of the room. Several moments passed and the two on the bed had not yet noticed the heartbroken husk of a woman, who was only but a few brief moments ago bursting with happiness.
Her blue eyes began to burn, as did her throat. Yet, absolutely no sounds came from her throat. No whimpers, no sobs, nothing. Bitter, salty tears began to stream from her eyes. For several moments, she was silently sobbing out in pain. Eventually, a strangled cry finally tore from her throat — that was the moment when the pair on the bed looked up, noticing the shell at last.
A horrified expression flashed across Alfred's face. "Ray," he started, "babe, this isn't what it looks like!"
Reagan had curled herself into a tight fetal ball in the doorway, motionless. There was not movement of her shoulders to signify that she was sobbing. She was also rendered speechless, aside from the choking sobs tearing through her throat.
Alfred pushed the random bitch — who had the ugliest hog-face, the nastiest excuse for a hair color (brown with blonde highlights that looked natural) and the worst personality ever — off of him. He moved to the ball that was his girlfriend. "Ray, are you okay? You know I love you, right," he said, reaching out for her shoulder.
"Get. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me!" Reagan harshly screamed. After screaming, she began sobbing uncontrollably.
Almost immediately after she started sobbing, Alex appeared. "Reagan! Are you okay?!" He exclaimed, getting on his knees to help her.
Reagan sobbed, barely able to nod from within her ball. "H-help me u-up, A-Alex… I w-wanna go t-t-to my room!"
"Of course, Ray," Alex said, helping the sobbing mess of a woman up off of the floor. He glared at Alfred and the girl. "I hope you are happy with yourselves," he growled angrily.
"Alex… t-take me away… be-before I tr-try KILLING them b-both!" The dirty-blonde sobbed in a heart-wrenching way that had Alfred and Alex cringing.
Alex nodded. "Of course, Reagan," he spoke gently, leading his hysteric friend away.
"Why?!" She cried out, the pain in her tone obvious, "Did I not g-give him enough?!"
"I don't know, Ray. It's best not to think about it. Let's get you back to your room. I am sure you wanna kill things," Alex tried his best to comfort his heartbroken friend.
Another choked sob tore from her throat. "I feel like I am dying on the inside! M-my heart…!" She trailed off into incoherent sobbing.
I cannot do anything to help Ray, Alex thought to himself, walking into the girls' dorm.
Several minutes later, they were at Reagan and Mariette's room. Alex unlocked the door and help Reagan take off her boots. After having done that, he thought it would be best if her left. "I'm gonna go now, 'kay, Ray. I'm sure you want time to yourself," he said, concern flooding his tone.
Immediately, Reagan jumped out of bed and grabbed his wrist. "No! Please stay with me, Alex!" She pleaded.
A small smile formed on his lips. He sighed, "Of course… anything for you, Ray." With that being said, they both climbed into Reagan's small bed.
"A-Alex! W-why would he do this to me?! T-that hog-faced bitch looked like a high schooler! A FRESHMEN, too! D-did I not please Alfred that much? T-that he had to go to make out with a FUCKING FRESHMAN in high school! H-he never loved me, did he?" Reagan sobbed into Alex's clothed chest.
Alex stroked her back, trying his very hardest to be comforting to her in this situation. At her questions, however, he sighed, not knowing how to react. "Ray, I'm sure he does love you. Maybe he had a lapse in judgement? I did something like this, too, a few years ago. And let me tell you, my then girlfriend wasn't as understanding as you are. Not as forgiving. I suggest you wait and talk to Alfred about this. Maybe he was forced into it?"
"He was moaning from pleasure, Alex! I doubt he was forced into it," Reagan growled.
"You should still talk to him."
Reagan sighed, "You're right. I'll talk to him when I'm ready. Right now, just stay with me. If I fall asleep, you can leave."
"Okay," Alex said, still rubbing her back.
She hummed in a seemingly happy way, "That feels nice…"
~With Alfred~
Alfred stood there, in front of his door, mortified. He had really messed up. He should have never started Snapchatting the high school freshman who was currently in his room. Elizabeth Smith, the girl who probably just assisted Alfred in ruining his perfect relationship with the only woman ever to be able to put up with his immaturity.
"Oh, Alfie, don't worry about that nobody. You have me now, and I understand you more than she ever could. I please you better than she did. We're perfect for one another," Elizabeth, aka Eli, said. She smirked and flipped her hair, "Plus, I'm better looking than her. She was ugly, did you see what she was wearing? UGLY!"
"Get. Out," Alfred growled.
Elizabeth looked at Alfred and blinked unbelievingly. "Excuse me?"
"I said, 'get out'! Get the hell outta my room and stay the hell away from me! You're a whore, someone I shouldn't've ever started talking to! Leave me alone! We would have never been an actual thing! GET OUT!" He yelled, pushing the high school freshman out of his room.
The hog-faced high school freshmen was at a loss for words as she was being forced out of his life forever.
~With Alex~
Alex had long since left Reagan's room. She seemed like she was doing well enough. He felt so bad for her. Heartbreak was never easy to deal with. It also sickened Alex that Alfred would stoop so low, he claimed to love Reagan with all his heart, yet he cheats on her with a hog-faced high schooler. "If he does, what the hell was this to him?!" Alex exclaimed angrily as he walked back into his room.
~With Reagan, six hours later~
Reagan laid there on her bed, motionlessly: her mind scrambled, unable to think. God-awful images flashed through her mind, crippling her in a never-ending sadness. A never-ending feeling of emptiness. Utter emptiness. Her body refused to move, therefore she was perpetually staring at the ceiling.
Her blue eyes no longer soaked with tears. Do not be fooled, Reagan was still sobbing, but her tears had gone bone-dry hours ago. Quiet sobs and cries of Alfred's name could barely be heard. She was starting to feel utterly drained, but she knew she would not be able to sleep that night. Both her heart and brain would not allow her the satisfaction of sleep. The simple satisfaction of resting her puffy, heavy eyes. No, they would rob her even of that simple pleasure.
The heart that keeps her alive was, at that moment, hurting her in so many multiple ways. It still only beat for Alfred F. Jones, even in its broken state. It would keep her up all night, aching constantly for the one who caused it to hurt. Reagan hated her heart for that reason: for still aching for the only one she was ever truly in love with. Her heart was a contradiction, hurting yet craving the love of the one who broke it.
With great effort, Reagan brought her right hand up and covered her heart, clenching at her flannel shirt. The burning desire to be rid of her heart was so great that at that moment, Reagan did not want to be alive. She wanted to be dead, or better — to be heartless.
"God… this pain in my chest… it hurts so much," her hoarse voice rang through the quiet room.
Then, she fell silent again, her voice too far gone; her mind nothing but mush. Reagan so desperately wanted sleep to take her away from that cruel reality. She wordlessly moved her mouth, silently pleading, "Sleep… please take me away. Sandman, please don't leave me to suffer. I need to get away. Allow my heart and mind to rest."
However, the Sandman did not answer her plea. He left Reagan to suffer through the night.
Midnight came very slowly and Reagan knew that once the clock stroke midnight, that her body had passed the point of being able to sleep. What was even worse than this was that every time she closed her eyes, even if it was for a split second to blink, Reagan saw the image of Alfred and that hog-faced whore all over one another.
Every time she would blink, she would hurt her heart even more. She cursed her memory; at times, it was a blessing and at other times, it was a curse. Reagan still was laying there, drowning in her own thoughts. "Tonight's gonna be a looooooong night," she muttered silently.
~End flashback, the next morning~
Reagan had been up a full twenty-four hours and then some. It was seven-thirty in the morning, she was deathly tired, but even then her heart and mind still would not allow her to sleep. At about four in the morning, her body had stopped being paralyzed by heartbreak. Reagan had desperately wanted to text someone. Anyone. Though, no one would have been up at that hour and she knew that, so she did not do that.
Instead of texting someone, she had begun to mess around on her laptop. Which had kept her occupied the rest of the early morning until the sun began to rise. Only a few times since she had began messing around on her computer, had her mind wandered back to Alfred.
What was he feeling?
Did he regret what he did?
Was he hurting just as much as she was?
Had he ever meant it when he told her that he loved her?
Questions that had been dispelled from her mind hours ago suddenly came rushing back to her. They hit her like a train. All of the sudden, the sadness Reagan had worked so hard to get rid of — worked for two hours to push out of her mind — was back. It almost crushed her under its weight. Reagan had not even had the chance to be happy. No, Lady Luck had to call those heartbreaking questions and thought to her head once more.
"Dammit… maybe I wanted to be happy today. But NNNNOOOOOPPPPEEEE, life said, 'Fuck you, Reagan! Have MORE heartbreak!'. I hate you, life," she growled hoarsely.
Just then, her phone glowed and she went to look at it.
It was a message. From Alfred.
"Babe, text me, please. We hafta talk about what happened. Please…"
Reagan growled at the message, wanting to throw her phone away. She was not yet ready to talk to him, she was still very upset. Her body instinctively went to answer, and before she could even think, her fingers typed a reply.
"No. Alfred, I do not wish to nor do I want to talk to you. Not right now. In fact, you are the LAST person I want to speak to and/or text. Therefore, I am going to go. Do not text me, do not talk to me, do NOT even LOOK my way during school on Tuesday. I cannot be around you for the time being. This is goodbye, for now, Jones. I will either text, call, or personally talk to you when I am ready to talk about what happened. And just so you know, I stayed up ALL night, so I will be very cranky today. I really and truly hope that that hog-faced whore will make you happier than I did, Alfred… I really do. Goodbye, Jones."
Reagan had not consciously done that. Her subconscious had reacted faster than her conscious mind had. She silently thanked God that that day was a day off. Her heart could not handle seeing Alfred. Along with silently thanking God, she prayed that her friends would return soon, that day even.
Her blue eyes started at her laptop screen. Kisekae was up and one of her original characters, Artemis Ebony Cartwright, was standing in the middle of the picture. Artemis's eyes mirrored Reagan's very own. Both were seemingly lifeless, without emotion other than crippling sadness.
The heterochromic eyes of Artemis were producing tears. Utter, crippling sadness shown through the character's eyes. Embodying the emotions Reagan was feeling.
"God, I just want Tomato, Murmur, Mattie, Lilly, Willem and Andrew to come back already," Reagan spoke quietly.
Just then, she got a text. From Mariette.
"Ray! Guess what? We're all on our way back! We're all driving back in Mattie's huge car. We should be back before eight tonight. Love you and see you then, Ray!"
That text made her smile. Thankfully, they were on their way back. The heartbroken girl was now almost exploding with utter happiness. Finally. Finally, an almost euphoric feeling washed over her mind and body. Her heart filled with an overwhelming joy that nearly caused it to jump out of her chest.
In the midst of Reagan's long desired happiness, a series of knock came upon her door. With intense euphoria, Reagan shut her laptop and lunged for the door. "Coming~" she called as she approached the door.
On the other side of the door, Anya and Clarissa stood there. Waiting for the door to open. Both were worried. They had heard Reagan last night as she cried heart-wrenchingly.
Worried chocolate eyes gazed into her best friend's worrying amethyst orbs. Almost silently, the female Spaniard said, "Realmente espresso que está bien. Sonó como estaba en mucho dolor…"
Anya nodded in agreement. "Da… she did. I feel bad for her," the Russian whispered.
Soon the duo heard the door's lock being unlocked and they were soon greeted with the beaming face of their neighbor. Both females were obviously surprised, they gasped and were struck stupefied.
"Reagan…? Are you okay?" Anya asked, looking into the other's blue eyes.
Happy blue eyes clashed with worry-filled amethysts. Her grin grew wide as she continued looking at her friends and neighbors. "Yeah! I'm perfectly fine! Why'd ya ask, sweetheart?" Reagan spoke, voice still groggy from all the sobbing she had done during the night.
Clarissa and Anya exchanged a look, and Anya clasped her hands together. She was about to say something when Clarissa said, "Te escuchamos… sollozaba anoche. ¿Estás bien, mi amiga?"
The happiness of Reagan's smile never dimmed. "Sí y no, amiga. Ayer por la noche fue terrible. Lloré toda la noche."
Clarissa gasped, "¿Por qué?"
Reagan shrugged and sighed heavily, the smile disappeared. "Usted realmente no quiere saber. La razón rompería corazones," she muttered.
"Por favor, díganos," Clarissa asked, her chocolate orbs softened.
A small, sad smile resulted at the request. "… Bien… I'll tell you. Come inside, per favore," Reagan agreed in a quiet voice before ushering them into her dorm. Clarissa and Anya entered the room. "Sit down anywhere, sweethearts," Reagan said.
They did so, sitting on Reagan's bed. "Bien. Ahora, tell us!" exclaimed Clarissa.
"Da, tell us. Who do I kill? I get Ivan to help, too," Anya said and also asked in a worried yet determined manner.
Reagan chuckled as she sat down in a swivel chair at her and Mariette's shared desk and looked at them, the hurt in her eyes almost crushed their hearts. Just as she had said.
Both women let out a small gasp. "Oh, mi amiga… ¿qué pasó a tú?" asked the Spaniard, her heart breaking already.
"Mucho pasó a me," Reagan replied.
"¡Expliques qué pasó, ahora!"
"Yo será explicar qué pasó," replied a saddened Reagan.
Clarissa clasped her hands together. "Then go ahead!" she encouraged.
Anya smiled sweetly. "Da, go ahead. Tell us."
"Va bene…" Reagan took a deep breath before continuing, "So you both know that my roommate, Murmur; her sister, Lilly; our Dutch friend, Willem; Murmur's boyfriend, Andrew; our friend, Abi; and my adorable best male Canadian friend, Matthew went back to our hometown this three day weekend. Okay, well, so yesterday I decided that maybe Alfred and myself could go on a date. Saturdays are usually our date days anyways, so I got myself ready to go get Alfred and ask if her wanted to do anything. I was, in my opinion, looking good and so I left to get him. When I arrived at the boys' dorm, my gut feeling went off. I ignored it and continued forward. Alex and Nathan were in the lobby and they looked worried, but I was too blinded by happiness to even notice their worry. I got into the elevator and went to floor ten — the floor Alfred and Mattie live on. Once the elevator came to a stop on the tenth floor, I exited the elevator and walked down the hallway to their room. When I went to open the door, I found it was locked.
"By then, my gut feeling was screaming at me to turn around and leave. Unfortunately, I did not listen. That is when I wish God had struck me down with a lightning bolt… because the sight I was greeted with was enough to literally shatter my heart. I saw Alfred, the man for whom my heart beats… I saw him… and there was a girl who was not me… on top of him," Reagan paused to wipe away tears that pricked her eyes. After a few moments, she resumed, "A-and they were all over each other. Swapping spit. Hands all over each other's bodies. It… it was disgusting. I could hear moans coming from them both. Alfred was touching this whore. Kissing her. Basically having some enjoyment because he was touching someone else.
"Someone who was not me. Look, I know I am fat in the stomach area… does that make him want another? Am I not good enough? I known I am very opinionated, but Alfred and I never fought! He had no reason to take on a… a… bloody concubine! We do not live in ancient times! We do not live in a time where it is socially acceptable to sleep with another who is not your lover, wife or girlfriend! Not saying that premarital sex is acceptable, but DAMN IT — do not…! Just do not… sleep with, fool around with or even talk to anyone of the opposite sex in a certain way!
"I let out a strangled cry after I fell to the floor. Numb. Unable to do anything but barely breath. Then, and only then did Alfred and the girl noticed me. That they looked up from each other. Through my tears, I saw her face. Ugly and hog-faced. Her makeup, that was like a cake on her face, was smeared from kissing MY boyfriend! Her hair was the ugliest color! Brown with blonde streaks. A smug look was swirling in her god-awful colored eyes, as was lust. Lust for my boyfriend, dammit!
"A horrified look flashed across Alfred's face as he scrambled to get out from under the hog-face who was straddling him. In the midst of him trying to get away from the hog, he said to me, 'Ray, babe, this isn't what it looks like'. How could he tell me such lies? How can someone do that? Get caught with another girl straddling them, moaning and touching the one straddling them… and say that it was not what it looked like?
"HOW?! How can a man be so heartless?! As I laid on the floor in the doorway, curled into a ball… my heart was breaking. The horrid image of them all over each other was, and still is, imprinted in my mind. I stayed a ball of broken sobs in the doorway for what felt like a while. Alfred tried to reach out for my shoulder but I yelled at him to get away from me. Then, I let out a loud sob, or just that Alex had heard me scream at Alfred, and Alex showed up and took me to my room.
"Alex is really a sweetheart, he literally laid there with me as I cried for hours. He stayed with me and comforted me for hours until I stopped crying. I told him to go back to his dorm. I could tell he did not want to leave me, still a sobbing pile of flesh, blood and bones, but I told him that I would be fine. Then he left, reluctantly. Alex… I owe him one for doing that for me.
"Anyways, I cried off and on for hours after Alex left me and Murmur's room. There came a point in time during the night that my sobs just… fell silent. I would still be crying, but my voice was gone. By the time I had lost my voice, my tears were also dried up. My heart hurt so much that it kept me up all night.
"It could not nor would it allow me to freaking sleep. Neither would my mind! Every time I would close my eyes, whether it be blinking or not, I would see Alfred and that whore all over each other! Yet my freaking heart beats for Alfred! Even if he broke my heart! DAMMIT! I hate him! He cheated on me and yet my heart still beats for him! God! I hate this!
"Then that little asshole decided to text me this morning saying, 'Babe, text me, please. We hafta talk about what happened. Please…', like no. Fuck no! I will not text you about what happened!
"Can you believe him?! I mean, FUCK! NO! What is there to talk about? He cheated. He fucked up. He literally was about to fuck that hog-faced girl. There is absolutely nothing to talk about! I, literally, just want to… be done! The man who I seriously thought I would marry later on in life cheated on me! Again: what is there to talk about? How he did not mean to cheat? That it just happened? That this moron still loves me?
"Alfred's my best friend, along with Mattie and Murmur, so I still will always love him. But… I am just hurt. Heartbroken. Empty inside. You two are married, so you fully trust Mr. Carriedo and Mr. Bragnisky with everything in you. However, I think everyone worries about this. If Alfred and I stay together… I will not trust him as much as I did before. I will worry about everything he will do. Everything he tells me. Even his every thought. Nothing he ever does from here on, if we stay together, will I trust.
"I hate that. I do not want to be the girlfriend who is always questioning every and anything her boyfriend says or does. A feeling of utter oppression would loom over me. The feeling of me being a terrible girlfriend will grip my mind, worse than it already is. Self-hatred will breed endlessly. All because I would seek to control Alfred as to ensure this will not happen again.
"I am sorry, guys. You just came to ask what happened and I just sat here, rambling, for an hour. I am sorry," Reagan said, finally getting something off of her chest. She let out a sigh of utmost relief. Combing a hand through her hair, tears fell from her eyes, leaving a wet trail down her cheek.
The tears dripped off of Reagan's chin and onto the floor; she had been crying since half-way through her story. The dirty-blonde could not help the tears that stained her cheeks, as the pain was almost unbearable for her once again.
Reagan's blue eyes started out of the window on the other side of her bed, away from Clarissa and Anya. The hand in her hair tightened and, though relieved, heartbreaking cries escaped Reagan's sore throat.
Soon, Reagan's other hand covered her face as did the arm of the hand in her hair. More sobs poured from her scratchy throat, each embodying more emotion than the previous one. Each one more heartbreaking than the last.
Adding to the sheer sadness of her cries was the volume of the cries. They were soft, broken and yet they were low enough for the remaining occupants of the room to hear.
Clarissa and Anya sat on Reagan's bed, unable to do anything to help their friend. They looked at each other, both pairs of eyes watering and about to overflow with tears. "W-wow… that's…" began the two friends.
"…terrible," muttered Anya.
"…agreed," Clarissa choked out.
Reagan just kept crying, clutching her hair tighter. "I-I… j-just… wa-wanna be g-good enough!" came a choked, scratchy, painful sob, "Wh-why? I g-gave Alfred m-my everything!"
Anya pushed herself off of Reagan's bed and approached the sobbing young lady. "Reagan… sweetheart, you do nothing wrong. Alfred is idiot," she spoke quietly.
"¡Sí! He is not worthy of your tears, amiga," Clarissa chimed in.
Reagan payed some attention to what they were saying to her. She kept crying, "B-but he is worth it!"
"Is he now? Look at you, amiga, you're sobbing and crying your eyes out. Your heart is hurting so much, all because of some punk who decided to cheat on someone that genuinely loved him," Clarissa said.
Anya reached out and touched Reagan's shoulder. "Da, listen to Rissa, Reagan. Alfred not worth your tears," the Russian spoke softly. She hugged Reagan and stroked her dirty-blonde hair, trying to soothe her, "It be okay, Reagan. We here for you."
Reagan stopped grabbing her hair and hugged Anya tightly. Bitter tears dripped onto Anya's deep purple t-shirt. Painful, heartbreaking sobs that were already soft were further muffled by the shirt. Shaky hands reached up and grabbed the shirt in a gently tight grip.
"Do no worry, Reags. I am certain Alfred is just an idiot," Clarissa said with a grin.
Sobbing just continued ceaselessly. Reagan clutched Anya's shirt tighter. Anya continued to stroke Reagan's hair, whispering words of comfort to the broken girl. "Shh… everything be alright. There nothing to cry about, sweetheart. I and Clarissa here for you," she cooed.
Clarissa smiled to herself at how motherly Anya was being to Reagan. "Yeah! We're here for you, and will be until Mariette and them come back."
Reagan cried more into the Russian's shirt. "T-thank you!" sobbed the girl.
"No problem," both the Spaniard and Russian spoke sweetly. The Russian still continued to stroke the self-proclaimed Italian's hair.
~Several hours later~
Reagan had fallen asleep, finally collapsing from complete exhaustion. She had fallen asleep clutching onto Anya's shirt, therefore, the Russian could not leave until Reagan rolled over. Once the dirty-blonde rolled over, Anya quickly moved off of the bed. The Russian looked at her best friend.
"She asleep. Should we leave her or nyet?" asked the Russian.
Clarissa shrugged and spoke, "Yo no sé, amiga. We should probably see when Mariette and them are getting back."
Nodding, Anya agreed, "Da. True. You text her? Or me?"
Already having her phone out, Clarissa began typing a message. "I will do it. Since I already have done it," said Clarissa. A large grin on her face.
"Good job, da?" joked her best friend.
Clarissa chuckled, "¡Sí!"
Several minutes later, Marietta replied with, "We are only few minutes away. Thirty-five to give a rough estimation."
Almost immediantly, Clarissa responded, "Muy bien. Well, Anya and I came over to make sure Reags was okay and she fell asleep. So, we're going to leave her sleeping. If she's awake when you get back, I'm positive she will tell you everything. ¡Adios, veamos cuando tú llegas!"
•~•With Mariette•~•
Upon receiving Clarissa's text, Mariette was confused. Why would Ray NOT be okay? thought the Dutchwoman with a confused look.
Everyone in the car, minus the driver (Lilly), saw Mariette's look. "What is with the confused look, Mari?" Matthew asked.
"Clarissa sent me a text saying that she and Anya went to check to see if Ray was okay and she fell asleep, so they are just going to leave," Mariette said in a confused tone.
Everyone in the car, including the driver (Lilly), made a confused grunt. "What?!" all except Mariette exclaimed.
The Dutchwoman in the passenger's seat nodded, "Exactly what I thought! Why wouldn't Ray be okay? Something happened when we left or something after… wonder what happened," said in a worried tone.
Lilly nodded after Mariette finished her statement. "Me too, but I'm sure she will tell us only get back," she spoke.
"Oui, I'm sure Maple will tell us. I have a creeping suspicion as to what happened…" Matthew said, a sad look flashing across his facial expressions.
Willem looked over at Matthew and asked, "What do you think happened, Matthew?"
Matthew grown quietly before he replied, "I think it might have something to do with Alfred…"
"What makes you say that?" Abi asked from the very back.
Another quite groan. "Brother's intuition…"
"Oh God! Alfred messed up, didn't he?!"
Matthew nodded and remained quiet. He believe that Alfred had severely messed up. The sweet Canadian had known about Alfred's Snapchatting Elizabeth Smith, and he had warned his brother to ended with a high school freshman.
He had told Alfred an numerous amount of times to cut all contact with the freshman high schooler, but many times Alfred reassured Matthew that she was just a friend. However, Matthew had known that eventually, Alfred would allow the high school freshman to seduce him and ruin everything between him and Reagan.
The Canadian's heart the throbbed as he thought of how much pain and heartache that Reagan must have had been feeling.
"I told Alfred to cut all contact with the girl he was snapchatting with…" he muttered.
Willem sighed heavily, momentarily dropped his emotionlessness, "That moron really pisses me off."
His sudden angry emotion caused everyone to gasp. "Willem?! Are ya actually angry about this?" Lilly asked.
"Ja! Why would I not be?! Alfred messed up and if he broke our allermafste's heart, so help me, I will punch him in the face," Willem said, making it known how dear Reagan was to him.
Abi hummed in total agreement, "Mhmm… If he broke Ray's heart, I will hurt him and the freshie in high school!"
"Agreed," called Lilly from the driver's seat.
"Well then, let's get back!" Abi said.
Everyone cheered and they were determined to get back to their friend in her time of apparent need.
•~•With Alfred•~•
Alfred felt terrible. His heart was aching because of his betrayal. Not knowing why he did what he had done, all Alfred could do was mope around. He was just laying on his bed, having no motivation to even move.
Especially after Reagan's text, he had no motivation to even breath. His heart and mind wanted Reagan to forgive him and talk to him again. Reagan ignoring him was going to kill him emotionally. "Why didn't I listen to Matthew before it was too late? He is going to kill me when he gets back," Alfred muttered to himself. "… I ruined everything. Some hero I am. Heres never cheat yet I cheated on the best thing to ever happen to me."
After Reagan caught them, Alfred sent Elizabeth home. Told her to get out of his dorm room, out of his life; he was cruel to her. Blocked her on Snapchat, deleted everything about her from his life.
Alfred hoped that Reagan would forgive him and stay with him. After all, she loved him a whole lot, did she not? Suddenly, he remembered something his mother had said. "If a girl is stupid enough to love you after you break her heart. I guarantee you, she is the one."
"Hopefully Ray forgives me…"
~Several hours later, with Reagan~
Reagan was curled up into a ball under her covers. She was still asleep and tears rolled down her sleeping face. Her dream was pure agony. At one point in time, Reagan's dream was just a pitch black abyss with no end, but as she slept, images morphed into frame.
Terrible images of Alfred cheating. Images of that hog-faced high school freshman on top of her boyfriend. Hog-face just looked at Reagan with a wicked grin spreading across her ugly face as she continued kissing on Alfred, just rubbing it into Reagan's face. Rubbing the fact that Alfred had cheated on her with a high-schooler directly into her open wound.
It stung like a bitch. It was like having salt shoved into an open wound, as previously stated. Inside Reagan's dreamscape, she collapsed to the ground, crying rivers once again. More ocean-like, salty tears rained from her puffy eyes; and like earlier, she could not stop them. Therefore, Reagan sobbed in her dreamscape, a place where she could never run out of tears. A place where no one could comfort her and lie that everything would be alright… when it would not be okay or all right in a remote sense.
During the time she started dreaming of the awful events that happened, Reagan not only started cry as she slept, but she also started to sniffle. Do not ask how this happened, the human body is weird, this just happened. Go with it, do not question it.
•~•Elsewhere at Alfred and Matthew's room•~•
Willem was beyond infuriated with Alfred. What had that complete idiot down now. "What. did. you. do. to. our. allermafste!?" growled the agitated Dutchman.
Alfred's lifeless blue eyes stared blankly at the enraged Dutchman who was accompanied by a group of he and Reagan's friends who were just as angry as the Dutchman. His lifeless eyes stopped on his equally as angry Canadian brother, whose violet eyes glared daggers at him. If looks could kill, Alfred would have been dead. "What are you talking about," he said emotionlessly.
Lilly hissed dangerously, "Look, nerd! Anya and Clarissa texted Murray a few hours ago sayin that they went to check to see if Ray was doing okay. Then they said that she had fallen asleep and they were leaving her since we were close to getting home. Therefore, ya cannot pass this one over as 'you don't know' what we are talking about! Because ya know exactly what we're referring to!"
Alfred blinked for a few minutes, slowly, before he sighed heavily. "With the look on Matthew is giving me, he knows what I did."
Matthew sighed and rubbed his temples. "Just because I know what you did, does not mean I told them anything," he explained to his emotionless, seemingly dead brother.
"You are such an inconsiderate jerk, Alfred! Ray has got to be drowning in her own self-loathing right now, while you are sitting here NOT telling us what you did to her! You've been Ray's best friend for longer than the majority of us have, therefore you know just how much Ray hates herself! She literally blames herself for everything bad that happens in her life. Wanna know what Ray is thinking right now? She is probably, and by probably — I mean, definitely, is blaming herself for your mistake! Alfred, you better tell us what you did because Matthew only gave us a brief mumbling of what he thinks you did. We all want to hear from you what happened before we hear Ray's perspective on the situation. So, you'd best be giving us your statement slash point of view before Ray talks to us," Mariette snapped, crossing her arms.
Everyone agreed, especially the other two enraged Dutch people. "Ja, we want you to tell us your mistake," Willem and Lilly said darkly.
A strangled groan left Alfred's sore throat. "Fffiiinnneee! I will fucking tell you assholes!" he reluctantly agreed.
Everyone sighed out of utter relief. "Thank God," they said.
Lifeless eyes gazed at everyone whose eyes burned with rage. After a few minutes of absolute, awkward silence, Alfred began, "Well… a few months ago, I started to Snapchat this high school freshman. Time went on and we started to text through Snapchat. One moment we were talking through it, the next, we were actually texting on another. Things got out of hand, quickly. Matthew told me that I should've cut all contact with the girl, and me being me, didn't listen to him. I saw no harm in it, so I continued doing it. She got into my head and manipulated me into asking her to come here. Naturally, her parents drove her. She introduced me to her parents as her boyfriend; that was when I told her that I knew that she knew I was dating Reagan.
"She brushed my statement off and told her mother to stay close by. I have no idea why I let her into my room and on my bed. I… was not thinking… therefore, when she got on top of me, we started going at it. My mind did not know what was happening until Ray's strangled cry brought me out of my trance. I realized ho bad that looked and I pushed Eli away to get to Ray. She screamed at me and Alex came and got her. I felt terrible… I still feel terrible. I-I didn't know what happened, literally, until Ray cried. Eli seduced me, I swear! That high schooler sed—"
Lilly had had enough of his lies at end of his point of view, therefore, she slapped him as hard as she could. She was so infuriated that she was shaking. "Shut. the. fuck. up," she growled and hissed.
The American held his right cheek as it turned red. "B-but, it's true! S-she sed—" he was interrupted yet again by another slap.
"You and everyone know that you saying this high school freshman 'seduced' you is a complete lie! You had to give into her advances, to which you did! This cannot be put solely on someone else's shoulders, especially on the shoulders of the person you recklessly cheated on Ray with! We are not going to sit, stand, whatever, here and listen to you lying and say this was not, at least a little bit, YOUR fault!" Abi exclaimed in irritation.
Alfred stayed quiet.
"Wat is je probleem?" The still highly enraged Willem growled, "You cheat on our dear allermafste an you have the gall to say to us that een hoer seduce you? I never understood why that allermafste even loved you, Alfred. You are pathetic. Be a man, you are in college, it is time you grow up. That allermafste does not nor did she deserve this. She always deserved better than you! She deserved someone like Matthew, for instance, not you!"
Alfred still remained, rubbing his red cheek.
"I think we should go check on Maple now, you guys. And Willem, don't be so harsh on him," chimed in the Canadian.
Lilly, Willem and Mariette glared daggers at the American. "You should've listened to Matthew when he told you to stop, idiot," they all hissed.
With that, everyone turned and left the room. They had to check on Reagan now that they had heard Alfred's side of the story. Now it was time to comfort and hear her side of the story.
"Hope Ray is doing okay…" Abi spoke worriedly.
Matthew nodded. "So do I, Abi… I should have forced Alfred to stop before it got out of hand…" he muttered.
"You cannot force someone to do something they do not want to do," Willem and Andrew said in unison.
Though Willem was still infuriated on the inside, his outward disposition returned to that of emotionlessness. His radical changes intrigued everyone.
Matthew smiled a small, almost forced one. "That is true…" he again muttered.
"I'm sure Anya and Clarissa will be happy I'm back," Mariette said.
Everyone laughed, never stopping as they walked. Their hearts were starting to get heavy as they neared the girls' dorm. They all entered the dorm and made their way to Mariette and Reagan's room. A sigh escaped Mariette's lips as she reached for the doorknob. Grabbing the doorknob, she turned the doorknob.
Inside of the room, Reagan was curled into a ball, dry tears streaks on her cheeks. Her face was not hidden by the comforter. The look on her face was contorted with pain and heartbreak. "Poor Ray," Lilly said quietly," She must be so torn about this…"
A sad "mhmm" came from the direction of the door. Everyone turned around to see Clarissa leaning on the door frame; Anya was standing close behind her, a sad smile etched onto her face. "Yeah… que idiota rompió su corazón. Ahora, Reags finds herself very ugly since he did what he did. ¡El ha roto su corazón con no bueno razón! He made her cry so much that she became dehydrated! She could not produce tears!"
"Da… it terrible… what he did to her. What she do to deserve that?" Anya spoke quietly and angrily.
Andrew chimed in, "Exactly! That's what we are trying to find out."
"I take it that isn't going well. Alfred is just a moron who cheated for no bueno razón, correcto?" asked Clarissa, crossing her arms.
Everyone grimaced, but Willem. Clarissa was correct, Alfred was an idiot who did what he did for no good reason. What reason would someone have for cheating on their girlfriend or boyfriend who they never fought with? Alfred ruined the almost perfect relationship he and Reagan had for absolute no reason.
"You're right… he told us nothing. He had no reason to do what he did to Ray. He kept saying the freshman high schooler 'seduced' him into asking her to come here. So, Lilly slapped him. He tried to blame the high schooler 'seducing' him again and Abi slapped him," Mariette explained, "Alfred lied, he was not seduced completely by her. He had to want it, even a little bit."
Both of the Juniors nodded. "True. He must have," they agreed.
Matthew looked at the sleeping Reagan and even though her eyes were still incredibly puffy, the Canadian could see the bags under her eyes. "How long had Maple been up for before she fell asleep?" Matthew asked.
Anya and Clarissa shrugged. "We don't know," the Spaniard said.
"I think she tell us she stay up for full twenty-four and then some," Anya said, thoughtfully.
"Oh, really?!"
"Da," Anya replied.
Matthew's eyes widened and he looked at the sleeping Reagan. "That is all because of what Alfred did?" he asked.
Both juniors nodded once again. "Yeah… it's bad," they replied, a saddened look on their faces.
Matthew sighed and shook his head. "I am so sorry this happened to you, Maple," he whispered to Reagan.
Reagan's eyes fluttered open when she heard Matthew's voice. "M-mattie…?" questioned the half-awake girl.
Matthew smiled. "Oui… it's me, Maple," he said sweetly.
"Y…you're back…?"
"Oui… we are," he replied.
Reagan shot up from her bed. "Really!?"
"Yeah," everyone greeted the newly awakened girl.
Tears of happiness swelled in her eyes. "W-welcome back," she exclaimed as she tackled everyone with a hug. Everyone went down onto the ground. A squeal from both the males and females could be heard. Though, for the men, manly squeals.
"How've you been?" asked Abi.
"Terrible, but I'm staring to feel a whole lot better," came Reagan's obviously happy, groggy voice.
Matthew smiled at Reagan's response. "Glad to hear that, Maple. So happy that you're feeling better," he replied, stroking her dirty-blonde hair.
Reagan hummed happily, nuzzling her face into the Canadian's shirt. "Oh yeeh~ I'm doing so much better now! I missed you guys this weekend," she spoke into the shirt.
"We missed you too, but, could we get up? I'm getting squished," Mariette stated, her voice was muffled by Lilly's body.
Reagan blinked and pulled away from Matthew. "S-sorry! R-right!" she stuttered, pulling herself off of the floor.
Everyone stood up and the unexpected happened, Willem walked towards and hugged Reagan tightly. "I'm sorry, allermafste. That this could happen to you," he said with uncharacteristic sweetness. "That this did happen to you."
Blinking slowly, Reagan was confused. What could he be talking about? Surely not about Alfred's cheating, she had not even let them know about it. "W-what? What are you talking about, Willem?" she questioned.
"Rea, we know," Matthew said.
Her blue eyes widened. "H-how? H-how'd you find out?"
Clarissa waved. "Probably because of my text to Mari," she admitted.
"Oh, va bene."
"Also, I had a suspicious, Maple. I knew about him Snapchatting that girl. And before you get mad, I told him numerous times to stop. However, knowing Alfred, he did not listen. I should've pressed on with trying to get him to stop. B-better yet, I should have told you and had you deal with it before it got too out of hand. I-I'm sorry, Maple," Matthew spoke sadly. He truly did feel terrible about how that happened.
Reagan was far from angry at Matthew. "It's okay, Mattie. I'm not mad in the slightest. I am glad that you did not tell me, because I probably would've hit him for doing it. The only thing I regret is that he never learned to listen to you or I throughout the years. I would have wished that he had at least learned that, but apparently, he did not," she replied in a calm tone. "One would think that he would listen to his brother. However, clearly he does not even think that what his brother says or suggests is important. That is one of the saddest things I have ever heard of and seen."
Matthew nodded sadly. "That is very sad, Maple. Again, I am very sorry this happened to you," he apologized once again.
A smile appeared on her face. "It's fine, Mattie! Really! It is. Now, I know what kind of man Alfred is. The kind of girls he likes. He likes the immoral, hog-faced, country-trash — like, not the good kind of country — sluts. Let me not forget that she is fake, and way younger than us. If Alfred wants a girl like that, then, he could and can go right ahead.:
"You're really feeling ugly, aren't you, Ray?" Abi said in question form.
Reagan continued smiling. "What makes you say that? Is it the tone in my voice when I say anything about this… ordeal? No, I'm not feeling ugly because of that whore. I'm feeling grotesque because of that whore! Alfred made me feel so beyond ugly. I will never be able to see myself as beautiful again! I may see myself as beautiful again, but after a very long time," she spoke in still a calm tone.
"How are you so calm?" asked Abi.
As a result of the question, Reagan shrugged. "Because I just do not care. It's all my fault Alfred cheated anyways… I'm obviously not beautiful enough for Alfred. Ergo, he went and found someone who is more… who is better than me. I hate that I was not enough for my best friend. I thought that I was good enough for Alfred, but I guess I never was," came her saddening reply.
"Reags, cariño, please do not say that. Ese no es ceirto. Do not believe that," Clarissa said.
Reagan looked at the floor, a sad gleam in her eyes. "No, ese es ceirto, amiga. Alfred thought so, else why would he take to talking to another girl," whimpered Reagan.
Willem grunted in disagreement, "That is a lie, allermafste. You always deserved better than Alfred F. Jones. I am sure that there are many boys that find you attractive."
"Thanks Willem, but I'm pretty sure that is a lie. I'm not attractive in slightest," spoke a very saddened Reagan.
Everyone became disheartened. Matthew felt really bad, Reagan could not be brought out of this slump. She stayed in this 'Nobody finds me attractive' for as long as he had known her. The brief time she had been with Alfred had been the only time that Matthew had known of that Reagan had felt attractive. And now, she was back to square one: hating herself and thinking she was repulsive.
"Maple, my dear Maple, please do not say that. You're very gorgeous. I think that you're so gorgeous, Maple. Don't let this make yourself think you are any less than gorgeous, because what happened does not determine your beauty," Matthew began. Letting his inner-Frenchman come out, he gently lifted Reagan's head up, tearing her stare from the ground. Once his violet orbs met her dull, gleams blue ones, he continued, "Reagan, please do not let what my idiot brother did affect how you see yourself. You are a beautiful young woman and nothing will change that. Not my stupid brother. Not a hog-faced freshman in high school. Nothing! You are a very gorgeous young woman who I've watch grow up… and grow more beautiful every year since seventh grade."
Reagan started to tear up at his words. "…R…really…?"
He nodded and kissed her cheek. "Oui," he spoke in a sweet tone.
She hugged the Canadian tightly. More tears flowed from her eyes. "Thank you so much, Mattie!" she exclaimed.
"Pas de probléme," Matthew said, rubbing her back.
The girl nuzzled her face into his chest as she continued crying because of his sweet and thoughtful words. She never knew that was what Matthew thought of her. "I love you, guys," she muttered.
"We love you, too," everyone replied.
After a few moments, she pulled away from Matthew. "It's getting late, you should all get back to your dorms. We'll see each other tomorrow," Reagan spoke thoughtfully.
Matthew grimaced. "Are you sure, Maple?"
"Oui, I'm sure, Mattie. You will see me tomorrow. I love you lot, but I'm not going to have everyone sleepier than hell. Please, go get some sleep. All of you," explained Reagan with a sweet smile.
Everyone did not want to leave Reagan. Mariette did not have to worry about leaving Reagan, but she could sense everyone's discomfort at Reagan's idea. "Don't worry, guys, I will take good care of Ray. Please, go get sleep. Matthew, you will definitely need the rest. Please," said Mariette.
Matthew sighed, "Okay. I trust you with Maple, Mari. Take good care of her."
"Ja. Take good care of this allermafste, Maritje. Got that?" Willem said seriously.
Mariette laughed, "Yeah, yeah. I will. Promise I will. Ray is important to me too, y'know."
"I know she is but she is in pain… help her be happy."
"Ja! Of course! Now away from our room with all y'all!" Mariette said, pushing everyone out of her and Reagan's room. "Bye guys!"
"Ja, bye you idiots home I love dearly!" called Reagan as she waved.
Mariette closed the door and then hugged Reagan tightly, as Reagan started to bawl. "M-Murmur! Yesterday was t-terrible!" she cried.
The Dutchwoman rubbed her back comfortingly. "I know, sweetie, I know. I'm sorry that this happened to you, Ray. nobody deserves this," spoke she in a sweet, comforting way.
Reagan continued crying nonsensically, "Why would he do this?! I thought he love me!"
"I don't know what to say about that, Ray. Everyone makes mistakes. We're all human. We may not be able to take back a mistake we make, but we can try to learn from our mistakes. And try our best to avoid what led us to commit the mistake the first time," Mariette explained, trying her best to make Reagan fell better.
"B-but, this mistake hurt, a lot!" cried the self-proclaimed Italian.
Mariette nodded slightly, "Ja, I know it does. Sometimes, we make mistakes that hurt other we don't want to hurt. I'm positive that Alfred did not mean to hurt you like he did. I believe he did not comprehend, fully, what he was doing until it got out of hand. As much as I dislike him for what he did to you, I know that he will learn from this huge mistake," she said wisely.
"How are you so smart, Murmur?" sniffled Reagan.
The Dutchwoman shrugged. "Dunno."
"You are amazing," claimed a sniffling Reagan.
"Ah, stop it. Not really, I just know humans make mistakes," Mariette said, "Now, we should probably go to sleep, if we want to spend time with our friends."
Reagan nodded and pulled away from Mariette. "You're right. Let's go to bed."
Mariette smiled as Reagan climbed into her bed. The goofy self-proclaimed Italian climbed into bed, making a goofy face before ducking under her comforter. "Goede nacht, Murmur," she sleepily said.
"Goede nacht, Ray. Tomorrow will be a better day than today, believe me," replied the Dutchwoman.
Mariette was right. The next day Reagan had a damn good time with her friends. They crashed a high school party in the area, had a great time. The whole, big gang was there. The Nordic minus Emil; Feliciano, Ludwig and Kiku were there; basically the whole gigantic gang that always does crazy stuff.
Reagan laughed and was happy the whole day, and Alfred was left alone to suffer by himself. Since Matthew was with Reagan, being incredibly disappointed in his brother.
A/N: GEEZ, this took forever to finish! Again, sorry this update is out of order with the rest… I kinda wanted to update badly and I wanted to write this chapter.
Another thing, If you do not like my story, then please do not read it. Do not review on it. I do not have time for haters and their shite, ok? Okay. Thanks, don't be immature about things guys. Please keep in mind that I am NOT forcing you guys to read this. I mainly put this up for my best friend, so please retrain from the rude or misunderstanding reviews.
Also, the translations: (I'll put them in tomorrow… it's 2:21 AM here and I'm tired AF!)