Chapter 14

Kendall pushed open the door slowly and quietly. In the dim light of the room, her eyes went first to the baby monitor beside the crib. She walked quickly to it and turned it off. Only then did she flip on the light and for the first time really look around Sasha Marick's nursery.

"Looks like something out of a magazine," she said with a shake of her head. "Seriously, could Erica have decorated a more over the top room?"

The crib beside Kendall was an elaborate iron baby bed in a gold finish that looked to her like it had come from the Palace of Versailles. She'd never seen anything quite like it. She reached out and gingerly touched the two-toned cream-colored crib bumper.

"Silk. Figures," she said with a snort. Who in their right mind put a baby to sleep on a bed covered in silk?

She glanced around the room again.

The walls were painted a warm cream color and were adorned with ornately framed paintings depicting scenes from nursery rhymes. The cow jumping over the moon, the cat and the fiddle, and humpty dumpty all had a place in the artwork. Kendall wrinkled her nose. Nursery rhymes somehow seemed so… well, so expected. She'd have thought Erica would pick something more original. Then again, if what Corvina told her was correct, Erica didn't know if she was decorating a nursery for a boy or a girl, so her options must have been fairly limited.

Kendall looked down at the floor. A large pastel-colored rug with animals and the letters of the alphabet on it covered most of the wood floor.

She walked further into the room, to the window that overlooked the terrace. Yes, Erica was still there, lingering over brunch with Dimitri, Bianca and Sasha. Dimitri was walking around the terrace now, holding Sasha. She had no idea what any of them were saying, but from her vantage point, it was clear to see that Bianca was laughing about something. They looked happy, and she was torn between cursing their happiness and wishing she could be a part of it.

"No point in looking at that," she said abruptly as she turned away from the window, intent on studying Sasha's nursery some more.

She rolled her eyes then when she saw the rocking horse. It was clearly not anything Sasha would be using in the near future, but it certainly looked like something out of a child's dream. It was a plush horse with a real leather saddle and bridle – English style of course – mounted onto a beautifully carved wooden rocking base. "Maximillian" was painted onto the wooden base in a swirly gold print. After Dimitri's horse, naturally, she thought.

She gave the horse a slight push and watched it rock gently back and forth before she wandered over to the bureau on the other side of the room. She didn't care about the items inside – it was probably just more of Sasha's expanding wardrobe. On top of the dresser was a tiny pair of crocheted baby booties. She picked them up carefully and examined them. They looked old. For a brief moment she wondered if her grandmother Mona had made those booties for Erica once upon a time or if they'd belonged to someone in Dimitri's family. Beside it was an antique silver baby rattle. The metal was cool to the touch, and it made a light jingling sound when she shook it. She turned it over in her hand to see the 'M' engraved in the silver.

"M for Marick. Of course," she said under her breath as she put it back down.

Behind the rattle and the booties were a series of framed photos. In the center of the bureau in a gold frame was an obviously recent photo of Sasha. Kendall picked it up for a moment and studied the image of her baby sister. Yes, she definitely had Erica's eyes. She was a very pretty baby, despite her lack of hair. Kendall fingered a lock of her own long dark hair. She'd been growing it out since the afternoon Erica invited her to live with her in Linden House. Bianca had long hair, and Erica seemed to keep hers rather long as well, so Kendall abandoned her short bob and let hers grow long too.

She scrutinized the photo a bit longer. "You must have Dimitri's hair, or lack thereof. Poor kid," she scoffed as she put the frame down.

Her eyes misted a bit as she glanced at the next photo: one of Mona Kane Tyler. Mona was the grandmother every kid wanted to have, the type who'd sit and listen to your problems and never tell you that you were horrible or that your dreams were stupid. She could get angry without yelling at you or completely freaking out the way that Erica did.

Kendall touched the edge of the frame gently. "I didn't just lose my mother. I lost you too," she said softly. "You didn't hate me for who I was. You were the only one who loved me for me, until Erica ruined it all."

She blinked back tears and let her hand drop from the photo. No point in getting upset. No point in crying over something she couldn't change. Mona was gone.

She quickly bypassed a photo of Erica and Dimitri and Bianca together at the New Year's Eve wedding, but she lingered over a photo of a very pregnant Erica, taken from the side to show off her baby belly. Her hands were clasped under her belly in a gesture that was both proud and protective. Her face radiated joy.

Kendall glowered then at the photo. There were surely no photos of Erica pregnant with her. Hell, there were likely no moments of joy to even capture. She crossed her arms protectively over her chest and turned around the room again.

In the corner was a wooden rocking chair that looked to be rather old. Someone had added cushions to it in an elegant cream and yellow damask pattern. Kendall wrinkled her nose at all of the gold and cream and champagne-yellow in the room. It reminded her a bit too much of Erica and Dimitri's first wedding.

Still, she crossed the room and sat down in the chair. It creaked in protest as she pulled her knees up toward her chest and put her feet on the edge of the seat. She leaned her head back against the chair and sat silently as she studied Sasha's room.

The nursery was a bit over the top, sure, with the giant rocking horse and the shelves full of children's books and toys, but it was also an absolutely gorgeous room. It was obvious that Erica – or her decorator – had put a lot of time and effort into creating an elegant but tranquil place for the newest member of the family. Every item in this room, from the crib bedding that had no doubt been custom-made to the monogrammed silver rattle, clearly spelled out that this child was wanted, loved, adored even, from the very moment of her conception. The unfairness of it all broke Kendall's heart.