Chapter 14
She blinded me with science
"Welcome to the world of tomorrow." Sarge said as he stepped of the ramp of the ragnarok.
"Yea world of tomorrow is that anywhere near jersey." Blazer asked
"Where are we now Sarge?" Kiva asked.
"It sure aint Kansas Dorothy." Darkstar said as he hopped off the ramp.
"We are at the aperture science laboratories to see about getting some portal technology." Sarge said pointing to a sign.
"Aperture science… oh well, Kiva if you would please make us an entrance." Blazer said. Kiva clapped her hands together and created a set of stairs leading into what appeared to be a room with clear walls.
"Welcome to the aperture science laboratories, the portal will open shortly for your testing, please do not werrrrrkssssshshhhhhhhhhp." Came a female voice over a pa system shortly before a blue portal appeared on the wall.
"Crap, I've never been good at test, hey Sarge can I cheat off of you." Darkstar asked as they went through the portal and into another room. In the room there was a gun like device sitting on a stand, Sarge picked it up and fired a blue portal out of it.
"You have obtained the experimental portal device, warning do not look in the operational end of, the device, keep your hands away from the operational end of, the device, and most importantly do not wwwweeeeeeeekshhh." Came the explanation from the p.a. system.
"I hate how it cuts out on the important warnings." Kiva said.
"That's glaDOS for you; you end up getting use to it." Sarge replied.
"Ok let hurry and get out of these test I want to play with that portal gun." Darkstar said bouncing like a hyper kid after a sugar rush. They walked through the portal and got into an elevator that took them to another room. This room had water covering most of the ground.
"This room will test your ability to avoid hazards, any contact with the water will result in an unsatisfactory mark on your exam… followed by death." GlaDOS said.
"Wow I think glaDOS is channeling the spirit of my old high school English teacher." Darkstar said before growing his black wings and carrying Kiva across the pit to the exit.
"Darkstar, what are you doing?" Blazer asked.
"It's called cheating deal with it." Darkstar said before grabbing Sarge and blazer with the force and pulled them across the pit as well.
"Impressive, you subject name here must be the pride of subject parents name here." glaDOS said. The young guns took another elevator up to a room with another portal gun on a rotating platform that was firing an orange portal every time it stopped. After some portal hopping the young guns managed to grab this gun as well and merged it with the original gun.
"Congratulations you now have control of both portals; interesting fact the value of the aperture science compact portal device is now worth more than the combined wealth and income of subject home town here. Just a reminder after the test are over you will be baked and then there will be cake." glaDOS said.
"The cake is a lie bitch" Darkstar replied. They made their way to the exit. After a few fairly simple test rooms they came to a room that started as a long hallway.
"The original room for this test is currently under repair so the room has been changed to a live fire course designed for military androids. Sorry for the inconvenience." glaDOS said.
"If I didn't know any better I'd say she's trying to kill us." Kiva said.
"You don't know any better…" Sarge replied before having to duck behind a large cube to avoid fire from a happy sounding robot.
"I got them." Darkstar said using the force to bounce one robot after another off the walls disabling them.
"Your gonna have to show me how to do that one day." Kiva said.
"Sure thing as soon as we get some free time." He replied.
"Excellent work android, remember android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance." glaDOS said. The young guns entered another elevator and continued through the various test that would have increased in difficulty if they weren't cheating at every opportunity. Finally they came to the final test room.
"How much more of this is there?" Blazer asked.
"This should be the last test room after which I think we should introduce ourselves to glaDOS. We need t thank her for the permanent use of the portal gun." Sarge said. They activated a moving platform and road it towards a large pit of fire.
"Congratulations you have completed the test; you will now pass through the aperture science incinerator. Interesting fact, the aperture science compact portal gun can withstand temperatures of over 1 million degrees so there will be no damage to aperture science technology… goodbye." glaDOS said.
"Ha yea right." Blazer said. Sarge used the portal gun to reach a platform outside the fire pit.
"What are you doing, you can't zzzzzzzzzzkkkkkkkssssss. Congratulations you passed the final test where we pretended to kill you, please place the portal gun on the ground and place your hands on your head and a party associate will be along shortly to escort you to the party."
"Yea… so run?" Darkstar asked.
"Yea run." Sarge replied. They ran through different paths and tunnels with glaDOS constantly commenting on them. Finally they arrived at a large room with a massive robot hanging from the ceiling.
"Well you found me; I hope your happy now. I have a surprise for you. Deploying surprise in 3-2…" a ball fell off glaDOS "wait time out that wasn't the surprise what is that." glaDOS said
"Hey glaDOS, I've got a surprise for you two." Sarge said as he drew harkonen. "Yippee ki aye mother fucker." He said before blowing glaDOS to pieces and making a hole in the ceiling.
"Sarge was that really necessary." Kiva asked.
"Yes if we waited much longer she was gonna start pumping nerve gas in here." Sarge told them.
"Ah ok then, good work." Kiva said. Sarge activated the ragnarok's capsule and the young guns flew out of the building and disappeared into a portal. Meanwhile deep in the bowels of the aperture science facility a medium sized ball lifted off the shelf it was sitting on and opened its own portal before vanishing into it. Back on the ragnarok Sarge was busy making modifications to the portal gun.
"There it's ready to test." Sarge said
"Oh oh can I go first." Darkstar said holding his hand in the air.
"As much as I'd like to accidentally send you into a black hole or worse… the super milk Chan universe I think it would be best if we sent an inanimate object and a communicator through first." Sarge replied.
"Oh yea… good idea, why don't we send Kiva's hammer, make it easy for whoever is on the other side to see it." Darkstar said. Sarge activated a portal and Kiva threw her hammer and a communicator through the portal.
"Now let's see if we get anything." Sarge said. Far off in the Pokémon dimension jack striker's charizard pyra just finished knocking out Benny granite's steelix.
"Your next, any last words before you die?" Jack said
"yeah, I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH AND IF IM NOT MAY A HAMMER COME OUT OF NOWHERE AND SMASH ME!" at that moment Kiva's hammer and the headset came out of the portal and smashed Benny hard knocking him out.
"Wow a hammer came out of nowhere and smashed him hard." Suddenly a voice came out of the headset on the hammer.
"Hello, whose voice is that because I recognize it?" Sarge said. Slade shook his head as he recognized the voice.
"Sarge what the fuck are the four of you doing?" Kiva gasped
"Is that you jack, so the hammer ended up in the Pokémon world eh?" she said.
"Yes, yes it did…now how about taking it back before…"
"I'm… the… juggernaut bitch…" Benny managed to wake up enough to say.
"OH HELL NO! BE RIGHT THERE!" Darkstar yelled before activating the portal gun and turning into the juggernaut before running into the portal. He landed on Benny hard and picked up Kiva's hammer before slamming it into him hard and hit him each time he spoke."I'M… THE… JUGGER…NAUT…BITCH!" before he could continue Kiva appeared through another portal and took the hammer away from him.
"Now Darkstar, you've had your fun…" she said. As if by miracle, Benny stirred once again and smiled seeing Kiva before holding up his hand.
"Hey baby… wanna go on a…" Kiva suddenly turned around aura blazing. Darkstar and jack both sweat dropped as she brought the hammer down… above the planet a dual scream of "WHAT THE FUCK!" was heard along with a resulting explosion right at the place where the wind works were, and it was followed shortly by evil satanic laughter…awhile later onboard the ragnarok.
"So did you two enjoy creating nuclear explosion." Sarge asked.
"Don't look at me dude..." Darkstar said pointing at Kiva.
"In fact yes, it was quite enjoyable." She replied. Blazer leaned in close to Darkstar.
"Good luck dating her."
"he he, tell me about it." He replied.
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And so ends another chapter… sorry about the delay my muse went on vacation…
Next chapter should be up eventually.
Oh yea… jack striker and Benny granite belong to chaosblazer.