So the good news is that while going through all the stuff I had written for this story, I realized that I had indeed written another chapter that I hadn't posted. I must have thought I didn't finish it or something but there it was, just waiting to be published. The bad news is I have no clue when I'll get to the next chapter. I wish that there was a usb plug to my brain so that I could just show everyone what I have planned for the next chapter without having to actually type it out *sigh* Anyways here we go.

"The worst way to miss someone is when they are right beside you and yet you know you can never have them."

The tension was eating her alive. Just sitting next to him was making her heart clench in ways that she couldn't explain. There were so many things that she wanted to say, so many things that she wanted to apologize for. She had always been stubborn, prideful, and incapable of admitting she was wrong; but having to sit next to him in this classroom and act like what had become of them wasn't tearing her apart was pure torture.

She debated. What if she just turned toward him right now, in the middle of them taking their chemistry test, and say how sorry she was. At least that way he couldn't pretend that he didn't hear her. There would be no way to for him to ignore it. She wouldn't do that though even if it was all that she could think about.

How was it possible that he was so good at acting like she didn't exist. Did she really not mean anything to him? Was she that easy to forget? The thought that maybe what they had was insignificant to him is what truly kept her from approaching him. He had already rejected her and made it clear about where they stood. Cindy was hoping that by now he would have opened up since it had been a few weeks since new years, but if anything it just made him more closed off to her.

She stole a glance at him. He was quickly flying through the test and part of her was hoping he could tell that she was looking at him and would look back. Just to give her some sign that he didn't absolutely hate her. If he did notice her, he didn't let it show as he got up to turn his test in. She would give it a little more time, but she would get him to talk to her.

"So Cindy?You? Me? The dance?" Nick had cornered her at her locker and hung his arm around her shoulders.

"You? Me? Not going to happen."

"What is your deal?"

"Nick you're great, but I'm not into you like that."

"Oh really? You seemed pretty into me the other night."

"I was drunk."

"And?"

"And I wouldn't have done that if I were sober so just forget it ever happened."

"This is about Neutron isn't it?"

"Nick..."

"He's with Betty, so why are you still hung up on him?"

"I'm not."

"Liar." She rolled her eyes and continued to put away the books that she didn't need to bring home.

"Besides, aren't you supposed to be going to the dance with Brittany?" He shrugged noncommittally.

"Even if I wanted to go with you, I couldn't. I already have a date." She was lying through her teeth but she hoped that he would take the hint.

"Yeah right."

"Are you doubting my ability to get a date?"

"No. I happen to think that every guy in the school would love to go with you if their girlfriends wouldn't kill them for it."

"Gee thanks."

"So who's your so called 'date'"?

"Uhh..." How come now would be the moment when she couldn't think of a name to give him that would sound convincing. She kept fumbling until out of nowhere someone came to her rescue.

"I am, and I would appreciate it if you would take your hands off of my date." Cindy raised an eyebrow. Of all the people she didn't really expect him.

"You're joking right?" Nick asked unconvinced. Cindy gave the guy a look but decided to play along. She untangled herself from Nick's grasp and went over to put one arm around the tall teenager's waist and one hand on his chest.

"Yeah me and..and.. um.." His name was escaping her even though she knew that he had been the guy that had asked for her autograph earlier in the year.

"Scott." The senior filled in for her.

"Yes! Scott! Me and him go way back." Nick eyed them, not convinced at all but let it go as he rolled his eyes.

"Whatever." Nick walked away leaving Cindy alone with her new date.

"So whats the plan?" Scott asked once Nick was out of earshot.

"The plan?"

"You know, the 'make that kid you like jealous so that he comes back to you plan'. You girls always have a plan."

"There is no plan."

"Really?"

"Yes, really. I'm done with plans and schemes and the fighting. All its done is dig me into a deeper whole."

" Then are you saying were going to have a real date?"

"I guess that's what I'm saying."

"So does this mean we do the whole thing where I get you a corsage, and you pretend to laugh at my jokes and I pretend to not look at your chest all night.

"Yes exactly."

"And we have fun even though your in love with someone else-"

"Don't push it."

"Right. I'll pick you up at six on Saturday."

"Sounds like a deal."

"If you someone, let them go..."

Cindy had already started walking to her car when she realized that she had forgotten one of her English books in her locker. All she wanted to do was go home after the day she had. Between Jimmy ignoring her and Nick harassing her, she just wanted to be alone. Now she had to go back into the very building she was trying to escape from.

The halls were near empty by now. The students had either left to go home or were already at their after school activities. She rounded the corner that led to the hallway where her locker resided and immediately wanted to turn around and go the other way. There stood Betty leaned up against the locker that was a couple lockers away from her own. For a moment she wondered what she was doing there and then solemnly remembered that Jimmy's locker was only a short distance from her's.

Cindy really wished that she could just avoid the drama and forget about her book, maybe if Betty didn't see her then she could just borrow someone else's and avoid this encounter. Just as she thought that her plan could work, Betty turned her head and spotted her. Too late. If Cindy were to turn away now then she would look like a coward, and she was no coward. Looking directly ahead as if she didn't notice that Betty saw her, Cindy continued to walk to her locker. Betty didn't say anything as she walked by her and she was almost in the clear until-

"Haven't heard from you for a while, have you really given up this time?" It came out as a jab that Cindy knew was supposed to rile her up. She kept walking, it was going to take more than that to get a rouse out of her.

"What's the matter Cindy? Don't have anything to say to defend yourself? That's a first." A couple more steps and she would just have to open her locker, grab her book, and walk away.

"You know, I knew things would work out this way. You were just his little play thing. He never liked you to begin with. Ever since elementary school I have been the one that he liked, and you were the silly girl who had a crush. It was supposed to work out this way." That was the part that finally got her to turn around.

Betty was smug when she had finally shaken Cindy. She was expecting her to blow up and start cursing her out. This would have worked out perfectly because Jimmy was supposed to be meeting her here any minute and this would just be the perfect moment for him to walk in on. What Betty wasn't expecting was what came out of Cindy's mouth.

"Do you care about him? Do you really care about him?" Betty was thrown for a second at her words. There was no hint of malice when she said them, but an underlying honest desperation.

"What?"

"Betty please, I just need to know. Do you care about him? I need to know that this wasn't just a game for you." Betty finally found the words to respond.

"Yes. Of course I do."

"Good, because he deserves to have someone who cares about him. He deserves someone who adores him, every single part of him."

"What are you trying to say?" Cindy swallowed hard. This was going to be the most difficult thing she had ever done.

"He gets forgetful sometimes. Especially if he's been working in the lab. You have to remind him to eat and sleep. If you haven't heard from him in a while, he's not trying to ignore you, he loses track of time very easily. Make sure he doesn't neglect you or Carl and Sheen. He's not doing it on purpose, but realize that science is the most important thing to him in the world and you have to accept that you'll have to be second to it sometimes." Cindy didn't even bother to hold back the tears that she knew were coming.

"Let him be himself. He's a big dork and get's excited over things like math equations, just bare with him if he starts to rant."

Betty was awestruck and all she could do was nod.

"Please take care of him. Kiss him like you mean it, be there for him whenever he needs you even if he says he doesn't. He doesn't know a lot about being in a relationship so you'll have to teach him. He'll forget things like anniversaries so you'll have to drop little hints to remind him. Please, please, don't hurt him. If you do, I swear I will make you regret it." Betty was in shock, she couldn't believe what she was hearing.

"You're...you're giving him up..." It wasn't a question, it was a statement.

"I want him to be happy, and if that means that you get to be with him and I don't, then I wish you both all the best."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because I'm in love with him... and maybe that means letting him go. So can you promise me that you will do everything you can to make him happy?" Betty was still so caught off guard that her response came out more chocked out than she intended.

"I'll... I'll do my best."

"Good..." Cindy half smiled through the tears. "I'm glad." With that she turned around and continued to walk down the hallway, book forgotten.

Betty stood there and watched Cindy retreat until she had completely disappeared. The only thing that broke the stupor was when she felt am around go around her waist.

"Hey, sorry I'm late."

"Oh, it's okay...did you hear any of that?"

"Any of what?"

"Nothing, never mind."

But he lied. Jimmy had heard it. All of it.

So I think Cindy was pretty mature about the whole thing if I do say so myself. Cindy and Jimmy will most definitely be having a conversation of sorts in the next chapter. Also, since I feel so bad about how long it takes me to update...

DELETED SCENE:

"So why exactly did you want to do this?" Cindy asked as her and Libby were both sitting down in a salon waiting to be called.

"I thought you said you've done this before?"

"I have..." Cindy slightly grimaced.

"Okay so then what's the problem, if anything, I should be the one nervous!"

"Why do you want to get this done anyway?"

"I have my reasons..."

"We can take you two now." One of the salon workers told them and led them into a room.

"We will leave you to undress and will be back soon." The same worker said to her, with another one of them following behind her.

"Okay seriously now, why do you want to do this?" Cindy asked while unbuttoning her jeans. Libby looked a bit embarrassed but continued to explain.

"Well you know how the dance is this weekend right?"

"Yeah."

"Well...I think I'm ready."

"Ready for what?" Then it hit her. "You want to get a Brazilian wax because you're going to have sex? She said incredulously.

"Not so loud!" Cindy started to giggle.

"What's so funny?"

"Libby please tell me you aren't one of those girls who wants to wait for the absolute perfect moment and expects there to be fireworks."

"I am not! I just feel like it should be something special."

"Libby trust me, it's not something you should plan."

"Well what was your first time like?" Cindy ignored the question.

"You're not doing this because you feel pressured right?"

"No! Sheen would never do that."

"No not from Sheen. The junior class isn't the most...pure... I mean look who you're talking to...but I just don't want you to think you have to do something because everyone else is." Libby kept quiet while continuing to get undressed. She obviously didn't want Cindy to convince her otherwise.

"I just don't want you to do anything that you'll regret."

"Why would I regret it?"

"I don't know, once you do something you can't really take it back." She started to think about what Jimmy had said to her at the party about wanting to take back what happened between them. Out of all the drama and bullshit she had gone through with Betty, him saying that to her was what hurt the most. Right now though that was starting to become the bottom of her list of things to worry about. Cindy was starting to feel really bad that almost two weeks had passed and she still hadn't told Libby that she had sex with Nick. She meant to, she just didn't know when the right time would be. There was a knock on the door and the waxers asked them if they were ready. When they replied yes they were led to lay down on the beds.

"Well this feels awkward..." Libby said as she was waiting for the woman to begin her job.

"I told you."

"So...Ouch!" Libby exclaimed as the first strip was pulled away.

"You were saying?" Cindy winced at the stinging pain.

"Have you ah- have you finally decided who you are going to the dance with?"

"Er- I decided that I would go with Scott."

"Scott? The senior? I didn't know he also asked you. What about Nick, didn't he ask you as well?" Libby hissed in pain again.

"I don't want to go with him. Besides Brittany would be crushed if they didn't go together."

"Why wouldn't you want to go together, I thought you guys were friends?"

"We are...I just don't think he knows that."

"Well, he has been extra friendly with you lately."

"You could say that..." Libby looked over at her friend curiously.

"Okay girl what's up. I know that look."

"What look?" Cindy said trying to sound oblivious.

"The one where you look guilty from keeping a secret."

"You have to promise that you're not going to be mad. I was an idiot, and drunk, I did it out of anger."

"Did what? Just spill." Cindy went over in her mind how she could say this but nothing came to mind besides being blunt about it.

"I had sex with Nick. OW!" She screamed as the waxer pulled from a sensitive spot.

"YOU WHAT?"

"I know."

"Cindy you didn't."

"Oh but I did. I think there's something wrong with me. No matter how much I've screwed up my life I find a way to make it worse." She started to get worked up, the emotional pain mixing with the physical pain.

"And I miss Jimmy so much..."

"Oh Cin..."

"No, I don't even deserve sympathy. I did this to myself. I was just so mad at him and I didn't think. And he's still with her, and I just feel worse." At this point she thought the workers must think she was nuts but at least she was an entertaining customer.

"I'm going to take a vow of celibacy." Cindy proclaimed.

"Isn't it a little too late for that?" It was possible that Cindy was being a bit rash, but she figured sex had what gotten her into this mess. Both Libby and the beauty technicians raised their eyebrows when Cindy hastily began to sit up and and hop off of the bed.

"Cindy what are you doing?"

"I need to have a talk with Neutron."

"Now?"

"I just have somethings on my mind that I need to say." Cindy replied as she pulled on her clothes.

"But you're going to be uneven!"

"It doesn't matter I'm not having sex!"

"You can't just leave me here!"

"I'm sorry!" Cindy yelled as she exited the room leaving a very baffled Libby behind.

Haha so yeah, I didn't feel like that scene really fit anywhere or really helped the chapter progress at all. Plus, I decided that I didn't want the next scene to happen like that so this whole little thing got edited out. Speaking from someone who gets waxed a lot though, its not that bad at all. Although one of my friends literally needs to be held down when she does it.

Anyways! Rant over!

Review please :)

~Dreaming of Dnace