Chapter Fourteen

Bella

As I looked round I saw an address book on the shelf beside the books. I picked it up and flicked through the pages. Most of the numbers had no name by them or just an initial and I'd almost given up when I saw it, A.C, and a cell phone number. As I rang it sitting back at his desk, I crossed my fingers AC was in fact Alice Cullen. It went to voice mail, it was her, and I nearly put the phone down but as I did so I heard her voice. "Jazz? I can't tell you any more. Its up to Bella now. I'm sorry really I am but I've done all I can". Then there was a silence and a gasp, "Oh, Bella. I thought it was Jazz".

"I know. I'm ringing from his place" I explained. "Good" she said.

"Once he took over your security I stopped monitoring you. I guess you know the score now"

"Yes Alice. More than I ought to I'm afraid. Alice I want to ask you one question"

"Just the one Bella?"

"Well one important one"

"OK" she said sounding intrigued. "If you ask the right one I'll give you a second.

I laughed, "OK. My starter for ten. Everything I've found out about Jasper and me. Is it true?"

She sighed, "Yes Bella. He's been in love with you from the first time he saw you. So second question?"

I must have asked the right one first time. "Will Edward cause me more problems?"

"Yes Bella. If you decide to follow your heart he will, but in the end you will win through. I can't tell you any more because most of the decisions haven't been made yet. I will help if I can. I owe Jasper and you that much"

"You think you owe me because you didn't warn me before the wedding. Don't Alice I wouldn't have listened.

"Oh I know that but I should have tried.

"Why do you feel you owe Jasper?

There was that tinkling laughter again. "When I met Jasper all those years ago he wasn't the only lost soul. We healed each other and if I can help him find his true mate then I'll do it.

"Me? I asked.

"You don't need me to answer that question Bella. Ask your heart. I must go now I think your host will be back soon. Oh and by the way unless you want him to know you've snooped you better put the key back"

Then she was gone. Did I want him to know? Did I want to hide things from him? I picked up the key but I didn't put it back. I left it in the centre of the desk. Once he saw it he would know, and I would try to explain my actions.

I thought back to the picture he'd drawn, it was beautiful and had obviously been drawn by someone who loved his subject. As I waited for him I did what Alice had told me, and examined my heart. My love for Edward had been a girls infatuation with a handsome mysterious stranger, the danger adding spice to it. My heart had beat so fast and I couldn't bear to be parted, I'd even faced the Volturi for him, but there had never been any peace and comfort. Everything was at speed, we never just sat and talked after the first few months, we were so busy fighting for my life that we never stopped. There was James, then Victoria and Laurent, it was all exciting and breathless. What I wanted now was peace, calm and reflection. I didn't want all the excitement, the adrenaline. I'd done that, done all the girlish things.

I wanted someone who would take time to woo me. Someone who would show how he felt without grand gestures and expensive presents. A simple person, not a simpleton but another damaged soul to look into mine and see what it craved. Was Jasper that person? Had I ever really taken notice of him? I'd never blamed him for the attack at my party but I know he blamed himself, so did the others. I wasn't so sure that it wasn't Edward who caused the problem. It wasn't until he threw me into all the crystal that Jasper had snapped, and then he'd felt the thirst of everyone in the room except Carlisle. As I heard the outer door open I knew he was back and I knew that the next conversation we had would be either a new beginning or the end of a possibility.

Jasper

When I walked in the door I felt something had changed in the atmosphere. Bella was feeling very tense but there was a frisson of excitement mixed with hesitation. Something had happened while I'd been away, to stir up her emotions. I sampled the air but there was only her scent here, so no visitors. How long I had hoped to smell her in here! I stood just enjoying the aroma then I heard her. She was standing in the doorway to my office holding the manilla folder I kept locked in the bottom drawer. I froze, shit! How was I going to explain all that, if she'd even give me the opportunity.

I walked to the coffee table and opened the folder she had just placed there. I saw she'd added the photographs from the envelope to it. She spread the papers out and looked at me. "I spoke to Alice" she said simply. "I was looking for her number when I found this. I know I shouldn't have. It was a private space in your home but I can't apologize. I've read it all and as I say I spoke to Alice. I picked up the drawing. "It's very good" she said "You drew it from memory?"

I nodded, "Yes I wanted something I could look at when the pain got too bad"

"And the photographs?"

"Alice gave them to me, she said they'd help. They did, but they made things worse too".

She spread them out and then picked up the letter I'd written her over the years. "Its beautiful" she said running her fingers over the lines. "I'm sorry I caused you so much pain. I'd never have done it knowingly". "What did Alice say?" I asked in trepidation.

"Quite a lot actually". I was surprised. She wasn't going to make it easy for me. She seemed to be deciding something and I got the impression it was something very important, important to me too.

"Alice told me that I should follow my heart but if I did it could cause me problems".

"Oh" I wasn't sure what to make of that. "Did she say anything about the divorce?" She shook her head still looking at me searchingly.

"Jasper. I know you want me to tell you something but I can't. I don't know myself. Everything is so messed up. I need to finish with one thing before I can start another. It wouldn't be fair on you to do otherwise. I wont get my divorce for a while so I'm not free to make any decisions. Do you think you could help me find somewhere safe to spend that time?"

My heart sank, she wanted to get away from me. "Of course Bella if that's what you want".

She shook her head, "I don't know what I want Jasper, that's the trouble. I need time to think and I don't think being here with you will help me think straight".

Did she think I would try to influence her with my gift? "What ever you want. Is there somewhere you'd like to go?"

"No, anywhere I'll be safe from Edward, somewhere quiet and peaceful".

I thought for a second. "I have friends with a ranch in the country, would that do?"

She looked wary, "Friends?"

"Yes. They are vampires, not vegetarians but they would look after you".

"Again?" She asked.

I smiled, "Yes. Again. If you are worried they might try to influence you I wouldn't. They gave up on me a long while ago, when I married Alice. Peter is a bit of a smart mouth but he wont sing my praises I promise you".

I saw her run her fingers through her short black hair. "Thank you Jasper. I'd like that, but please don't expect too much of me".

I bowed my head. "Bella if there's one thing I've learnt in the last hundred years or so it's not to expect anything".

I walked to the phone and picked up the receiver as there was a loud bang on the door. Bella froze and I cursed as I heard a familiar voice "Hey Major. Open the door or I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll blow the fucker down". I pulled open the door and he waltzed past me and took Bella in his arms, "Hey beautiful, I hear you need a bodyguard, and I'm just the guy for the job. Let me whisk you away from here to my castle by the lake".

I looked stunned at the man who had just made his entrance then his head rocked back as the woman who followed him pulled him off me by his hair. "Peter" she growled then smiled at me, "Excuse my husband, he's not exactly house trained yet".