Title: Dirty Blonde, Ch. 14
Rating: R
Pairing: Dean/Castiel
Spoilers: None, really. If you're up to Season 5, you're fine.
Warnings: Language, sexual content
Summary: Dean and Castiel wake up to a surprise.
A/N: Alright, well, I intended this to be the last chapter, but I ended up writing way more than I thought I would and I didn't even get to everything I wanted to write! I keep thinking of more stuff. Ooooops. I hope you don't mind. The next chapter will probably be the last. Maybe.
Onward! To Chapter 14!
Spread out on the bed, Dean contemplated nothing at all. The feeling of having Castiel near and of having Castiel's love fostered the contentedness that erased his worries and his need to think. The feeling was so powerful that Dean became full of a smile that could not be suppressed.
"I'm ready," Castiel said.
Dean lifted his head to take a look at his angel who was now properly dressed in his customary, much-loved attire. His eyes caught the blue tie that, as ever, was tied backwards. Dean chuckled softly and sat up. He drew Castiel close by the length of his tie. "Cas, baby. The tie. Always the tie."
"Oh," the angel looked down, feeling embarrassed. "I don't know why it always ends up like that."
When Cas began to move his hands to fix it, Dean stopped him. He pressed the underside of the tie to his lips and grinned, "Leave it."
Dean imagined that their first breakfast as a confirmed, even blessed, couple would be idyllic. It would be the first time Dean accompanied Castiel anywhere in his true body after the confusing Hell he had been through. Breakfast would be lazy, quiet, and peaceful. Even if it was too greasy and not particularly delicious, it would be perfect.
Or so Dean thought.
As soon as Dean opened their door to go outside, he felt a cold wind brushing into his body. The sensation may have been entirely imagined, but the effect was unsettling nonetheless. The environment outside of the motel was characterized by wrongness. As Dean surveyed the parking lot, his unease skyrocketed. "No…No…"
Dean ran out to the spot where he had left the Impala and Castiel watched with a deep frown. There was nothing there. "Where – where's the car?" Dean shouted. In a nervous state, he clutched his hair. "I left it right here! Fuck! No! No, no, no…"
Frantically, Dean checked his pockets for the keys and found nothing. My baby. Someone stole my baby. He remembered having dropped the keys but could not remember if he had picked them up. He could not come to terms with the horrible mistake he had made. Dean could feel his father rolling in his grave and prayed silently for the Impala. The Impala, the other love of his life, was nowhere in sight. "I think I'm going to be sick."
"Could Sam have taken it?" Castiel asked.
"Yes! That's it! Sammy," Dean grumbled and reached for his phone. He speed-dialed Sam and was sent straight to voicemail. "Damn it!"
He tried one of Sam's other phones. Straight to voicemail. After tying several other numbers only to have the same outcome, Dean began to chew on his nails. Now he wasn't just worried about the Impala, but his brother. What if something had gotten to Sam? Something could have kidnapped Sam in the Impala and driven off without him ever knowing. If Sam wasn't kidnapped, he would have a lot of answering to do for neglecting his phones. Imagining that the Impala could have been stolen while they were all dozing was the stuff of Dean's nightmares.
"Of course. Of course this would happen," Dean mumbled to himself. Nothing could be easy or happy for too long. Breakfast would have to wait for another time. "Come on, Cas."
Dean and Castiel made inquiries at the check-in desk of the motel first. A woman with thick, dark hair piled on her head glanced up at them with mild interest and discreetly continued to eye the magazine she wasn't supposed to be reading while customers were in the lobby. Dean approached the tanned, tattooed woman and put on the smile he wore when he really needed to charm some information out of someone. "Good morning," his eyes raked over her nametag. "Carmelita."
"Good morning," She grinned in reply, shucking her magazine to the side. If she had noticed Dean's bright and beautiful green eyes from the start, she would have made more of an effort to appear friendlier from the start. "How can I help you?"
"I don't know if you remember me, but I was in here a couple of days ago with my brother, Sam Winchester," Dean explained. "He went to get another room yesterday and I was just wondering if you could be so kind as to tell me what room number he got. He's not answering his phone."
"Sam Winchester? Oh, the tall guy?" Carmelita swooned. She couldn't forget a huge, handsome guy like Sam, but she didn't recognize Dean. "Look, amigo. Maybe I remember this guy, but I don't remember you. First day he was here, he came in with this adorable lil blonde. A real cute chick – not you."
Dean inhaled when he realized that the 'adorable lil blonde' had been him. When they had checked in, he had been a woman. Fuck.
"But, yesterday, he was with someone else. The most beautiful woman I'd ever seen." Unbidden, information flowed from her lips as though she could not resist describing the marvelous person that had been with Sam, "She was like a model, or an actress. Like some walking Photoshop ad. Unreal, man. With this auburn hair. Oh my God, I wanna do my hair that color. Auburn. So gorgeous."
Even the memory of the woman retained power over Carmelita. Realizing she had probably said too much, she tried to focus. "But, sorry," she said, "I can't tell you about other patrons. It's against policy. And I have never seen you around here before."
Auburn hair? Dean and Castiel wore pensive, displeased expressions. Carmelita really felt for them, but she remained silent. With all the girls she had spotted Sam with, it would be no surprise if one of them had been Dean's girlfriend or wife. That was how murders happened. "Please?" Dean pleaded, "It's really important. He won't answer his phone. He's my brother."
The woman considered Dean, pouting her lips. She really wanted to help, and thought of a loophole. Sam wasn't really the Johnson's Motel's problem anymore. Even if it was still morally questionable, she leaned forward and whispered. "Listen, let me just tell you, you're at the wrong place. He never got another room here. He came in again yesterday, but he left. With the girl."
"Did he say where he was going?" Dean inquired with wide eyes.
"The Hilton. Just promise you don't tell nobody what I said," the woman pleaded softly. Dean's familial sentiments seemed genuine to her and she sympathized greatly with him. She hoped that no trouble would come from helping Dean. If Sam really was a two-timer, his fate was in God's hands. On an honest kick, she commented, "But, honestly, he made the right choice."
Carmelita raised her eyebrows. The Johnson's Motel was as tacky as it sounded, with a name that reminded her of dick. Every day she had to go in to work at this half-rate place that was marked with a sign that was phallic in appearance. People usually came to the Johnson for Johnson.
"Thanks," Dean slipped her a few bills for being so helpful and then asked her for a number to get a cab.
Fucking cab. Dean growled quietly. Riding in this poor excuse for a vehicle was beneath him. Everything about it made his skin crawl. Usually, he was only accustomed to riding in any back seat when the car was parked.
The cabbie kept a sly eye on Cas and Dean as he drove them to the Hilton. These two, he thought, were definitely queers. After so many years of driving people around, he had an eye for these sorts of things. This fare wouldn't be the first where he had taken a stressed out (probably married) businessman and his boy toy to have some fun. It wasn't the cabbie's place to mind. To the contrary, one of his favorite things to do was to imagine the stories behind his passengers. Interesting people were about the only things that made his job interesting. The cabbie thought that their ease with each other spoke of a long-term affair. Dean's attire and the tough, meanness in his face reminded him of a vet down on his luck. The pair of men were possibly the most fascinating couple he'd picked up all day. They began to speak in tones too low for him to follow.
Dean's nerves were getting to Castiel. The angel was worried about Sam too, and so he assured Dean, "We'll find Sam."
He was less worried about finding Sam and more concerned about what it could mean for Aphrodite to hunt his brother down after their issues had been resolved. With sudden energy, Dean railed, "You think this was her game the entire time? Like she was playin' us? We're talkin' goddess here…" He whispered, without needing to explicitly refer to Aphrodite. "Something doesn't smell right here. She helps me out and then just happens to make off with Sam?"
"I really hope Sam was able to resist her temptations," Castiel mused with a frown on his face. The look Dean gave Cas suggested that he didn't have much hope for that. Dean became even more tense and brooded.
After a while, he said, "If I had known this was going to happen, I would have said no. I would have stayed a chick."
Dean assumed that Aphrodite was up to no good because that was his default mode. Few things ever ended up rosy for them and he wasn't confident that this time would be that exception. The thought that Sam would endure pain or suffer harm because of him, made Dean livid. He wouldn't trade Sam for anything. Yet, blinded by joy, Dean had allowed his passion to overwhelm his better judgment. Protecting Sammy had always been his priority and he had neglected him. Dean tried calling Sam again and was not surprised when his brother didn't answer. He all but crushed his phone in his hand, fretting over Sam and the Impala.
When they arrived at the Hilton, Dean stumbled out of the cab as quickly as possible and glanced around the parking lot, looking for the Impala. Castiel called out to him and pointed at the car that was sitting safe and sound near the entrance of the hotel.
"Oh, my baby. You're safe," Dean cried and ran to the Impala. He gave the car several gentle, loving pats and inspected it for any irregularities. The car was locked and the keys were not around. Seeing the Impala out of harm's way kindled his hope and he rushed inside the hotel with Cas.
The dark-skinned, friendly attendant at the desk was quick to offer them a welcome and help. Upon Dean's request, she called Sam's room and passed the phone over to Dean after Sam answered. "Are you okay?" Dean glowered and then asked, "What room are you in?"
Castiel could hear Sam's faint, ineffective protests as Dean hung up on him. Dean was brewing with suspicion and anger. He walked with Castiel down the polished, well-lit halls of the hotel to the gleaming golden elevator. "The suite, he says."
Castiel was just relieved that Sam was okay and that the Impala was accounted for. He thought a romance with the goddess was most likely a terrible, if not dangerous, idea, but he didn't have the visceral reaction Dean had to the situation. Dean was sick of seeing Sam broken over powerful women that were no good for him. He didn't need to be a scholar to know that Aphrodite was a woman that played the field. Sam was too sweet, sensitive, and loyal to be one of many lovers. When they reached the room number given to them by Sam, Dean knocked and didn't have to wait for long for his reluctant brother to open the door.
"Hey guys," Sam smiled uncertainly. Thankfully, he was dressed in a crisp white shirt and a pair of black slacks. Dean's phone call had given Sam time to prepare for his furious arrival. Sam knew what was coming and made no show of objecting to Dean as he shoved his way into the room. Dean didn't have to say a word for Sam to know exactly what was on his mind.
"Good morning, Sam," Castiel greeted the younger Winchester and made his way into the room, surveying the beauty around him. The accommodation was enormous by the typical standards of the Winchesters. The amenities and the cleanliness of the room eclipsed the average motel. With concern, he leveled his eyes back on Sam, "Are you alright?"
"I'm fine, Cas," Sam assured him like he had assured Dean over the phone. "You all want some coffee?"
"I want my damn car keys," Dean grumbled in return and held out his hands in expectation. He didn't lighten up his scowl until the keys were in his hands. The crease in his brow only softened the slightest bit. "What were you thinking, huh? You think I like waking up to the Impala gone? To not being able to get in touch with you? What happened to your freakin' phones? Huh?"
Sam cast his eyes down. He didn't regret any of what he had done, which only made him feel sorrier for making Dean worry. Sam had never stayed in a place so luxurious and he had never been so thoroughly pampered, especially not by such a beautiful woman. In one night, he'd felt years of tension and guilt slip away from him. Sam hadn't asked for any of this. Aphrodite had appeared in the lobby of the motel, tempting him with Dean's car keys.
Aphrodite had showed up unexpectedly, saying that she didn't think it was fair for her to have seen only one of the brothers naked. She had charmed Sam by telling him that he deserved better than a night alone in a seedy motel, and Sam had agreed with her. He had enjoyed being dressed like a king because it made him feel like he was more than a drifter, a killer, and his brother's puppet. Sam had been in complete awe of all the wonderful things Aphrodite had offered him because he had never experienced such indulgence. Indulgence was so alien to Sam that he had difficulty accepting that he was allowed to have such good things. He had been waiting for the veil to lift, but it never had. Not until Dean returned, acting like he was his father, did Sam remember that his life was meant for hardship.
"I'm sorry," Sam swallowed. "I thought you and Cas would be busy, so…"
"Sammy? You're not fighting over there, are you?" Aphrodite called from her spot on the couch, from where she was watching a fashion show on TV. All that was visible of her body was her lovely, graceful arm.
"Sammy is my nickname for him!" Dean answered, vicious for the sake of viciousness. Dean wasn't Sam's parent, but he might as well have been because he'd spent his whole life watching out for Sam and taking care of him. His protectiveness was clouding every other thought he might have had. He walked over to the couch to look down at the woman that was resting leisurely in comfort. She was wearing something that looked like it had come straight from the TV, and it probably had.
"Good morning, Dean," Aphrodite smiled, unfazed.
"Dean, would you cool down?" Sam begged. He was embarrassed beyond all belief.
"Yes, relax," Aphrodite urged. "Have some coffee." She sat up and regarded Dean with idle interest. She could tell he had been up late and that filled her mind with pleasant fantasies. Softly, she inquired with mirth, "Have you been enjoying your angel?"
Dean couldn't look her in the eye. Whatever game she was playing at, Dean thought she was very good at it, because he couldn't fully understand it. "Alright, fine, pour me some coffee."
Castiel remained near Sam to help him get some cups, but also to serve as moral support for the little brother. He was fascinated by the extravagant coffee machine and by the kitchen in general. Aphrodite coerced Dean to sit down, and carried on their low conversation. "You thought I was going to harm your brother. After all the good I've done for you." When Dean didn't answer, she perceived something else. "Did you think I would take him from you? Oh, Dean. Sam doesn't belong to anyone any more than I belonged to my husband."
"You had a husband?" Dean lifted his eyebrow, unsure if he should feel impressed or sorry for the guy that was married to the goddess.
"The ugliest god in all of Mount Olympus," Aphrodite whispered. When Dean openly laughed at her, she looked embarrassed and displeased.
"You're joking, right?" He said. Oh, man. That poor bastard.
"What're you talking about?" Sam called from the kitchen.
"Nothing, Sammy! Everything's cool," Dean cried back.
"You and Castiel make a beautiful pair," Aphrodite commented. Her eyes dazzled as she thought of the two together. "Sam deserves to have good things too."
Dean didn't know if she was benevolent, self-serving, or both. He did realize that it was difficult to ever disagree with her, so he stopped trying. He took the coffee Castiel placed in his hands and the four sat on the couch, half-paying attention to the models walking across the runway on the TV.
"Is that woman wearing a bird?" Castiel inquired and quirked his head to the side.
Dean winked to Castiel, "There's only one bird I wanna wear."
"She's much too thin," Aphrodite criticized cheerily. Apparently, she watched this channel not only for the fashion, but also as a confirmation that she was infinitely superior to even the people human beings revered as the most beautiful among them. She slithered over to Sam and rested against him.
The goddess didn't let them leave until they were all fed and relaxed. No matter what she did or said, Dean was determined to get his brother away from her. She apologized for any trouble she may have caused, but didn't sound too sincere about it. Before Sam left, she enveloped him in her embrace and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. She stroked his face and coiled his silken hair around her fingers. She enjoyed the feeling of his strong hands upon her body. Aphrodite whispered sweet words to him and probably would not have stopped kissing him if Dean did not drag Sam away.
"W-Wait, Dean!" Sam whined, but he was pulled away. As Aphrodite's hands slipped out of his, Sam pleaded, "Hey, call me! Any time! Whenever you're free!"
"Yeah, we're changing all your phone numbers," Dean leveled after they were out of Aphrodite's sight.
"You're such a hypocrite!" Sam fumed and his brother shoved him into the elevator. "You get to have Cas."
"And Cas doesn't have a husband. Or ten different boyfriends," Dean remarked, pressing the button for the lobby.
"You don't know she has ten boyfriends!" Sam answered. He was aware that she had at least two, but that didn't deter him from wanting her.
"You gotta be real."
"I am real." Sam settled his hands on his hips. "I could …I could be a mistress. Or whatever you call the guy version of a mistress."
"You don't wanna be a mistress, Sammy," Dean grinned. As funny as the scenario was from a distance, Dean couldn't laugh at Sam because he had serious concerns for his brother. Sam was no pool boy. He was no 'afternoon delight' treat on the side. Sam deserved better.
"I'm sorry, Sam, but Dean's right," Castiel cut in. "You would have very powerful rivals."
Sam nodded in the sad realization that he was losing something he had enjoyed so deeply, so quickly. He knew it was true. He knew he was only one man in a long line of lovers and he would have to accept that. Sam would have to try to pretend like it didn't affect him.
"Hey, there's plenty of – "
"If you say 'fish in the sea,' I am never speaking to you again," Sam grumbled.
Dean didn't bring up Aphrodite again. He figured the less they talked about her, the better. He did complain about Sam taking his car and warned him never to do it again without asking first. They went back to the motel only to pick up some things and then they hit the road again.
"We're not staying?" Sam wore an emotional expression on his face.
"No," Dean replied sternly. Sam understood Dean's motives and got into the Impala with resignation. He thought about Aphrodite and wondered if she would ever call. She had told him to keep their tryst on the down low for his own safety, but never specified if she would ever see him again.
Dean wasn't a mind reader, but he was perceptive enough to tell that Sam was blue and he had a really good guess why. After they had been driving for some time, he nudged his brother and offered him an apple. "Here."
"Where'd you get that?"
"I stole a bunch of them from that hotel," Dean shrugged. "I know you like them."
"When?"
"Don't ask! I have my ways," Dean answered.
Sam held the glossy apple in his hands and smiled because it had been the offering he had given Aphrodite. Sam would never forget that Aphrodite loved apples. He glanced back at Cas. "So are you gonna stick around?"
"Yes, if that's alright," Castiel said. He had already promised to stay with Dean, but didn't know how Sam felt about that. He could only hope the younger brother wouldn't be upset by the development.
"Of course it's alright!" Dean growled.
"Yeah, for sure, Cas," Sam smiled, "Dean's less of a jerk when you're around. It's cool with me, but… Is that okay with your angel buddies? And, like, God? Doesn't God need you to do stuff?"
Dean clutched the steering wheel more tightly, "Cas isn't going anywhere. He's got free will and if he wants to stay with us, he'll stay with us. If God wasn't cool with it, he wouldn't have given Cas a mind of his own."
When Cas didn't answer, Sam lifted his eyebrows. "Is that true?"
"I can't begin to presume God's intentions," Castiel answered morosely. "But I'll do everything I can to stay."
The first case they worked on together was a demon-exorcizing one. They had followed cases of strange behavior that had resulted in stranger murders and traced the crimes to some demons. The sight of Cas made them cower, but they falsely believed they had strength in numbers. Only one of the possessed people survived the ordeal.
Worn out from the hunt and from the long drive, Dean wanted nothing more than to rest in bed with Cas and watch some crap TV. He was bummed that so many of the people the demons had used as meatsuits had died unglamorous deaths, but he supposed that being dead was better than being possessed. The señoritas on the TV and the weight of Castiel's body against his made him feel better. Sam didn't have Dean's taste for Spanish soaps, so he got up and made for the door.
"Where you going?" Dean asked, only sparing a glance to Sam.
"Out," Sam answered, "For a walk."
"Where's the car keys?"
"On the table," Sam sighed heavily.
"Leave your phones."
"No, Dean! Geez, I'm not a child," Sam complained.
"Phone."
"I don't believe you. Damn it, Dean," Sam pulled out his phone and set it on the table next to the car keys. "Happy?"
Sam let the door slam behind him. Dean knew Sam had a problem resisting temptation after he'd been tempted once. If he could help it, he wasn't going to let Sam make the same mistakes.
"What's happening?" Castiel frowned as he watched the TV. Beautiful people in vibrant colors filled every scene, but Cas couldn't piece together the story.
"What? Oh, I'm not sure. I just started watching this last week. I think that guy has a twin. Or maybe he's a triplet. There's so many friggin' flashbacks in this show. It's confusing."
"Are they in Morocco?" Castiel asked. "They keep saying they're in Morocco, but that's not what Morocco looks like."
"Low budget, I guess," Dean chuckled and held on to Castiel more snugly.
"Who's that?"
"I can't remember her name, but she's the main chick. She's in love with one of the twins, or maybe both? But, uh, she's married to that ugly as hell dude," Dean laughed. "He's so fat and mean. I don't understand why she stays with him."
"Oh…" Castiel speculated, "Maybe because they have a daughter together."
The next morning, Sam woke up to the sound of soft moans and pants. Groggily, he looked over to Dean's bed and saw Castiel on top of Dean. The two men were frotting beneath the covers and sharing heated kisses. Sam backed away instinctively until he fell off his bed. No. No.
"Angel, baby," Dean sighed before his precious angel slipped his tongue into his mouth. They either did not know or did not care that they were on view to Sam. Sam crawled hurriedly on his hands and knees until he reached the door. He groped around for the doorknob and ran out of the room. Not even the sound of the door slamming drew the attention of the men.
Dean grabbed Castiel's ass and squeezed as the angel moved against him and stroked their cocks together. Dean would have never suspected that Castiel had such a fit, solid body underneath all his layers, but he was getting to know it very well. Dean had awoken to the feeling of Castiel's lips on his chest. When he had seen the beautiful man loving him with his hands and mouth, he decided that some morning sex was well worth the risk of waking Sam. Dean had explained what 'morning wood' was to Cas and how it was something that shouldn't be wasted. Several moments after they both came, Castiel glanced over to where Sam had been sleeping. "Where's Sam?"
"Huh?" Dean exhaled and kept his adoring eyes fixed on Cas.
"Dean, you were too loud," Castiel hissed. "I told you we would be too loud."
"Mmm…" Dean purred.
Castiel looked back at the human, "You're not even paying attention to me."
"I always pay attention to you," Dean replied, which was true. He was paying such close attention to Castiel that he didn't notice anything about Sam.
"I said Sam's gone."
"Does that mean you wanna shower with me?"
"Well, I – " Castiel looked around the room and listened for any signs of Sam. "If Sam's not here…"
"Might as well."
By the time they emerged clean from the shower, Sam had returned and he looked uncomfortable. He was sipping on a cup of coffee and watching the local news. When he saw Dean walk out in nothing but a towel, Sam lifted up his hand in disapproval. "You done screwing now?"
"You were supposed to be asleep!" Dean growled back.
"Whatever! You know I'm a light sleeper!" Sam cried. "I'll hunt with you guys, but I don't wanna turn around to see you fucking every other hour, or to you cryin' out 'angel baby.' I need a different room."
"I never said 'angel baby.'" Dean glared at Sam. "That doesn't even make sense."
"You said it, Dean."
"Oh…" Dean looked down. "Well, heat of the moment, I guess." Sam probably had a point. Things would start to get real annoying if every time they finished having sex, he would have to get bitched out by Sam.
Angel Baby walked out fully clothed, but hid behind the wall of the bathroom when he noticed Sam in the room. He felt like he should apologize to Sam, but had trouble even making eye contact with him. Cas wasn't sure how long Sam had been watching, but he knew Sam had seen too much. Dean went about his business, but Sam let out a disgruntled sigh and called out to Cas. "Cas, come out. I made some coffee. It's okay."
Castiel obliged and wandered over to Sam. He let the younger Winchester pour him a fresh cup and struggled to form words of apology only to have Sam wave his worries away. Sam could never really hold anything against Castiel because he knew the angel would never intentionally do something to get on his nerves or unsettle him. "Don't worry about it. I'm glad you guys are…fine. And all that. We've figured it out. I'll just get a separate room next time."
Even with new arrangements, they could only continue hunting together for so long. Sam was in a constant state of longing. He tried to fill the void in his heart by pleasing Dean and by going on hunts that he knew would save and protect lives, but it wasn't enough. He kept thinking about Aphrodite and the beautiful words she had muttered to him as they spent the night together. He had wanted to call her desperately, but he knew that wasn't something he would do, even if he could. Sam's despair didn't just surround missing the beautiful woman. She had agreed with him, and made him believe it was valid for him to want more than the life he had. She told him he had a right to pursue any passion he had.
One night, after returning from a hunt, Sam was about to head to his room, but stopped. He grabbed Dean and pulled him to the side. "We need to talk."
Dean knew those words were never a sign of good things to come, but he stopped to listen after Castiel took his cue to get out of their way. "What?"
"You know what," Sam began. "You know damn well, 'what.' I don't wanna hunt anymore. I never did."
"Sammy, not this again!" Dean snarled. He was tired of hearing his brother resent the work they were made to do. "You and me have to stick together, okay? It's what Dad would have wanted."
"No!" Sam spat back. "I'm not going to. Not this time. I've gone along with you for too long now."
"So, what? You just don't care anymore?" Dean huffed. "You're my brother. Hunting is in your blood, like it's in mine."
"But I've got other things in my blood too! I've got other things I want. Dreams, hopes."
"Is this because of Cas?" Dean replied bitterly. He tried hard to pay attention to Sam, but inwardly acknowledged that Castiel had taken up more of his time as he had taken more of his affection.
"No, no, it's not…" Sam replied on instinct. He rubbed his hand over his face. "Well, maybe it is. A little bit."
"What's your beef with Cas?"
"I don't have a beef with Cas. But, you and Cas together…you're really great. You know that, right?" Sam struggled to maintain his composure. He didn't have many models for healthy relationships. He had never seen his own parents together, not like Dean had. Now, he was seeing Dean and Castiel together all the time. They weren't perfect, but they really did love each other so much that it was difficult not to be affected by them. "All I want is to go to school. To do something for myself. And, I don't know…maybe…maybe I can find my own angel."
Dean blinked and absorbed his brother's words. "Dude, that's friggin' gay."
"What the hell, Dean! You're such an asshole!"
"I didn't mean that. I mean, not like that. Sorry," Dean shifted uncomfortably on his feet. As soon as he had made a joke out of Sam's feelings, he regretted his words. It was easier for Dean to say something cruel and impulsive than it was for him to process the powerful sentiments his brother was having. Dean blushed at the thought that his relationship with Castiel was something Sam admired and wanted for himself. "I just don't want you to go," He said. "You belong with me."
"I don't belong to anyone," Sam replied. "I'm not saying I never wanna hunt with you again, or that I don't wanna see you again."
"No," Dean stubbornly protested. It was true that Dean needed Sam because he had always wanted his company, but there was more to it than that. Emotion flooded his face, "This is not about that. What if something happens to you and I'm not there?"
"I guess…you'll just have to deal with that," Sam answered.
"You know damn well that I don't just deal."
"But everything could be okay," Sam remarked, which was a statement completely divorced from the reality they had been living for so long.
"But what if it's not?" Dean argued. "No. No."
"Please, Dean. If you don't let me go, I'll just go by myself," Sam sniffled. "I already got accepted to go back to school."
"You what? And you didn't tell me?"
"Of course I didn't! You don't let me do anything!" Sam shouted.
Dean was wounded by Sam's words, but he couldn't honestly deny them. "Don't you shout at me!"
"Yeah? What else don't you want me to do? I got not going to school down. Not doing a damn thing without you. Not shouting too? Got it."
They were going to have this argument for as long as they lived. Dean realized that, but he still struggled with letting Sam go. With their luck, something awful would happen to Sam the instant he was out of his sight. "I'm not trying to keep things from you."
"You don't need me, Dean. You've got a good team with Cas. The three of us together are overkill for pretty much anything out there. And you know I'm not helpless. I can take care of myself. I'll have my phone too. If you want, set up a Nanny cam and a baby monitor in my dorm room."
"What?" Dean scowled, thinking that he wasn't that much of a creep. Yet, now that Sam mentioned it, it didn't seem like a horrible idea. Affronted, Dean sputtered, "I would never do that."
"You just thought about it."
"No, I didn't."
"Dean," Sam grinned. He knew better. They only spent almost every single waking moment together. He knew how much of a creep Dean was, and he knew he meant well.
"Baby monitor?" Dean chuckled suddenly. The eldest Winchester slapped Sam's face with gentleness and then pinched his cheek hard, making the taller man wince. "Don't you ever, ever dare say I don't need you again. Cas isn't a replacement for you, okay?"
Without another word, Dean disappeared into the room he shared with Cas. Sam wasn't sure what had just happened, and assumed that Dean was rejecting his wishes yet again. That was what Dean always did.
Sam went back to his room and loitered on his computer. At last, he looked up an email he had received last week and forwarded it to Dean. The message was from one of Sam's old professors and it stated that Sam had been accepted back into school and had even gotten a scholarship. There was a personal note in the email also that praised Sam as an excellent student with great potential. None of his old professors had forgotten him because of his intelligence, his sweetness, and the tragedy that had surrounded him. When Dean read the email in the middle of the night, he was so proud of his little brother. He remembered the words the goddess of love had spoken to him in confidence.
Sam deserves to have good things too.