Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. They belong to Cecily von Zeigesar and The CW.
"Ms. Waldorf, I'm Lori Parker," the female therapist greeted her with a handshake before she quickly retook Chuck's hand which had been her lifeline since he'd picked her up thirty minutes earlier. It had been another long night for Blair as nightmares kept her awake most of the evening.
"Blair," she nodded, her voice tense. "And this is Chuck."
"Mister Bass," Lori greeted him, "Frank told me all about you."
"All good things I hope," Chuck smiled.
"He's speaks very highly of you," Lori assured him. "Please, both of you have a seat."
"I'm allowed at this session?" Chuck inquired in surprise. He had thought he'd be waiting in the waiting room like he had during Blair's first session with her other therapist.
"Yes," Lori replied, "Doctor Boyd has explained what a calming influence you seem to have on Blair, so as long as she's alright with it, I'd like for you to be here."
"Is that alright with you, Beautiful?" Chuck inquired as he looked to Blair.
"I'd like you to stay," she nodded slightly as she squeezed his hand. Chuck nodded as he took a seat next to her.
"Let's start by talking about why you're here," Lori suggested.
"I was attacked at work by my boss," Blair whispered softly.
"Doctor Boyd said that you haven't spoke about what happened to anyone," Lori stated, "But I'd like to go through that with you today, if you think you're able to."
"I don't think I'm ready," Blair shook her head.
"Okay," Lori nodded as she gave Blair a reassuring smile, "That's okay. Perhaps that is moving a bit too fast. How about we talk about something that makes you feel more comfortable. Perhaps you'd like to talk about you and Chuck."
"We're not doing too well right now," Blair frowned as she felt Chuck squeeze her hand slightly. "I'm pushing him away because of what happened."
"Do you blame Chuck for what happened?" Lori inquired.
"Yes and no," she replied as she began playing with his fingers. "I know Chuck didn't do this to me. I mean the man that did is rotting in jail as he awaits his trial, but I guess I feel that if Chuck had been home this wouldn't have happened. He's my protector. He always has been, even before we became 'us'. After everything that we've been through to get to where we are, I sort of thought that we were done with all the bad stuff and that only good things were ahead for us."
"And then this happened," Lori prompted her.
"I don't feel safe anywhere right now," Blair admitted, "And I don't know if I ever will again."
"You will," Lori assured her. "It's the reason that you're here. You've said that your relationship with Chuck isn't doing well. Do you want that to change?"
"Yes," she replied quickly, "I want it to go back to what it was before all of this happened. He made me feel loved and beautiful and happy."
"And he doesn't make you feel those things right now?" Lori prodded.
"I guess he still does, except for the happy part. Not much has made me happy since all of this happened," Blair replied with a frown.
"What has made you happy since the incident?"
"When Chuck came to see me yesterday, that made me happy. He brought me flowers. I fixed his tie, and we had dinner together and talked, for perhaps the first time since this happened. It wasn't about anything important or earth shattering, but it was a conversation that didn't focus on what happened. I was able to forget for one meal. It felt good."
"How much time do you think you spend each day thinking about the attack?" Lori inquired.
"More than I should," she replied.
"If you had to put a number on it, how many hours each day do you spend thinking about what happened, not including your dreams," Lori stated.
"Nightmares," Blair amended, "And probably most of the time that I'm awake, and since I don't sleep well at night, it's then too."
"What activities do you do each day to try and take your mind off of what happened?"
"I like Audrey Hepburn movies, so I watch those," she replied.
"And how many times have you seen those movies, prior to the attack?" Lori asked.
"I've lost count," Blair replied as she looked to Chuck to see if he could answer.
"I've lost count of how many times I've watched those movies with you," he replied, "And I know your number far exceeds mine."
"And I'm sure you have each scene and each line memorized," Lori added.
Blair nodded.
"So you don't have to pay much attention to the storylines to understand the plot," Lori replied, "Which allows your mind to drift towards what happened. I think it would be wise for you to find other activities to occupy your time, things that will work your mind and not allow it to wander. Perhaps read a good book or find a new hobby, one that will challenge you. You are spending entirely too much time thinking about what happened."
"It's hard not to think about it," Blair replied as she pulled at her sleeves.
"Do you still have bruises?" Lori inquired as she watched Blair's movements closely.
"Yes," she nodded.
"Would you show me a couple?" Lori pressed.
Blair shook her head. "I haven't shown anyone."
"I'd like you to show me," Lori insisted.
"She shouldn't have to," Chuck spoke up as he watched Blair's eyes begin to water with tears. "She's not ready."
"Please show me the bruises," Lori continued on, ignoring Chuck's reply.
Blair nodded slightly as she pulled her sleeve up to reveal her forearm. She looked away as both Lori and Chuck inspected her arm. She still saw the repugnant purple bruises from when she was first attacked.
"Blair, there aren't any bruises," Chuck told her softly as he gently caressed her arm. When Blair looked more closely, her arm looked the same as they always had, a little paler as she hadn't sat out in the sun in forever, but no bruises whatsoever. She even pulled up her other sleeve to check her other arm to find the same result.
"There were bruises," she stated quietly as she searched every inch of each arm. "I saw them. I know I did."
"The mind can play funny tricks when it's getting over a traumatic event such as the one you are dealing with. You were seeing what you thought you were supposed to see. For you the attack is still very fresh because you've spent so much time thinking about it. The task I'm giving you for next week is to think about it less," Lori explained. "Can you do that?"
"I can try," she nodded.
"That's a start," Lori smiled, "And you can reach out to others to help you with this. You said having dinner with Chuck last night helped you forget for a little while. Perhaps more dinners are needed. Perhaps your other friends and family be willing to help you with this, as well."
"I know they will," Chuck nodded as he reached for her hand again.
Blair smiled back at him as she squeezed his hand again. The simple connection felt good, comfortable, safe.
"That's all the time we have for today," Lori announced, "I'd like to see you again next week, and if you'd like to bring Chuck along again, he's welcome."
"How do you think everything went?" Chuck inquired as they went for a walk in Central Park after her appointment. She had a loaf of bread in one hand, and his in the other.
"I like her," Blair replied. "And I think given a little time, she will help me. She has me a little curious though about the other bruises I see. Maybe they are no longer there. Maybe they've healed like the ones on my arms."
"Maybe," he nodded. "It has been two months."
"When do you have to go back to the office?" she inquired as her head came to rest against his shoulder as they continued walking.
"I can stay as long as you'd like," he told her. "My calendar is clear for the entire day."
"Are you even working right now?" she inquired as she looked at him curiously. Lately he seemed to have all the time in the world for her.
"Not as much lately," he admitted, "My CFO is handling most of the day to day tasks. I guess you could say I'm on a partial leave of absence."
"You did that for me?" she asked as she looked to him in surprise.
"Of course," he nodded, "Haven't you figured out yet that I'd do anything for you?"
"But a leave of absence, Bass," she shook her head, "That leaves you with a lot of free time. How do you fill the days?"
"Probably the same way you do," he admitted as they approached her duck feeding spot where she opened her bag and began pulling pieces out and tossing them to the ducks. The ducks waddled around as they happily gathered their meal. Blair was smiling from ear to ear. Her smile brought about his. He suddenly realized that it had been far too long since either had truly smiled.
"I was thinking about what Lori said," Blair stated as she entwined her arm into his once the loaf of bread had disappeared, and they'd resumed their stroll. "I have an idea of what activity I want to do to keep my mind off of things, and it involves you."
"Really?" he asked with intrigue.
"I want you to teach me everything you know about business," she replied, "One day I'm going to be a successful designer, and I'll want to have my own label like my mother. I need to know how to run the label, and who better to teach me the ins and outs of the business world better than CEO Charles Bass?"
"A lot of what I do has no relevance to what you'll need to know to run your own company," he replied.
"So teach me the relevant parts," she replied, "I know you never learned anything in the classroom, but you still read books and observed. Share with me your wisdom."
"Right now?" he inquired.
"Maybe we start tomorrow," she replied, "That way you can have a little time to work on your syllabus."
"I've never taught anyone anything before," he replied.
"That's not true," she replied, "I seemed to remember another subject in which I was a diligent student of yours, and if I recall correctly I aced the course with flying colors."
"I've missed this," he stated, "The witty banter that you and I have."
"Me too," she nodded, "I miss us."
"We're still us," he reminded her.
"We're a different us right now," she shook her head, "I felt as if we were mere roommates for the last month instead of lovers, and it's my fault."
"It's not your fault," he responded quickly.
"It is," she waved off his assurance, "I've been pushing you away because I thought it was what I needed. I'm rethinking that now."
"What does that mean?" he inquired as he felt the hope in the pit of his stomach. Even though she'd only been gone for a few days, it felt as if she'd been out of his life for months.
"I like spending time with you like this. I feel safe right now and there isn't any pressure to move towards the physical side of things," she explained.
"You feel pressure living with me," he concluded.
"It's not from you," she spoke quickly, "You've been completely wonderful in how you've treated me since everything happened. It's just when we're together with a bed so near, we always gravitate towards it, and I'm not ready."
"I know," he assured her, "And I'm not going to pressure you."
"But I'd be pressuring myself," she continued on, "Because I love you, and I love being with you in that way."
"So you're going to stay at your mother's," he frowned.
"I'm sorry," she confirmed, "I know that's not what you want to hear."
"No, it's not," he confirmed, "I'd be lying if I say that I don't want you back at the penthouse and in our bed, but if staying at your mom's is what you need, I'll support you."
"Thank you," she sighed as she pressed her lips to his cheek gently. When she pulled away Chuck risked running two fingers of his free hand across her lips, savoring the soft feel of them against his skin.
"It's been too long since you've kissed me," he explained his actions when she raised a curious eyebrow.
"We'll get back to what we were," she smiled, "There is going to be a time when we get intimate again, and I don't think about the events of two months ago. I'm determined to get there. I'm determined to get to our future."
"So am I," he replied as he lifted her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. His promise ring was still resting on her finger. As long as that ring was there he could allow himself to believe that their proclamations were real.
TBC . . .