Ch. 14: Competition
A/N: I'm back...again! :D ha ha, ya I know it's been forever, but I hope you forgive me and I hope this chapter will help you not hate me :D
Addison walked down the hall, trying to hide her tears
Addison walked down the hall, trying to hide her tears. She couldn't believe what she just heard. Her own daughter, her own flesh and blood, didn't want her anymore. What had happened to the family? Sure her and Derek tried to get along for Maddie, and maybe, just maybe some days he still loved her like he did back in New York, but now her daughter was turning against her. She couldn't handle all of this. Her brain just wasn't wrapping around the fact that her daughter didn't love her anymore.
Turning the corner, Addison almost bumped into Mark.
"Hey, are you okay?" asked Mark, almost compassionately.
Addison looked up at Mark, tears starting to fall, but she quickly wiped them away.
"Ya, I'm fine," she replied, trying to get past him, but instead he grabbed her wrists, and didn't allow her to get past him.
"Okay, we both know that that is a load of bull shit. Now tell me what's really wrong."
Addison shook her head, not looking Mark in the eyes.
"Addie," said Mark softly, lifting up her chin so that Addison was looking right into Mark's eyes. At that moment, her brain started to function again. She realized that she didn't really love Derek anymore. Her love for him was lost ever since he started becoming distant from her 9 years ago. It then came to her that she did love Maddie, but she was also becoming distant from her too. Not entirely on purpose, but Addison never wanted a kid. Okay, so she did when things were still going strong between her and Derek, but now that everything was being held together with fake glue, and she didn't want a kid. A kid just complicated things even more. She realized that, that sounded horrible, but sadly it was the truth. And in that moment, Addison realized that she could tell Mark what was bothering her, and he could actually help her.
"Maddie said that she didn't love me anymore," whispered Addison, breaking her gaze with Mark.
Mark dropped his hand quickly from her chin and looked over at Maddie's ICU room door.
"Are you sure?" he asked, turning back to Addison.
Addison nodded.
"I heard her talking with Derek. She doesn't want me to be her mom anymore! But now…now I've realized that, it's true. And I'm not saying that I don't love her. How can I not love her? But, Mark, I don't want a kid! I did, but now that I've got one I…Derek always wanted a kid. He always wanted a daughter. Now he's got one and he's the happiest man in the world, and here I am…" Addison took a deep breath. She wasn't about to say she regretted having Maddie because there were times where Maddie was her whole world. That Addison laughed because of Maddie and smiled after a long day because of her. "I mean I still love Maddie with all my heart, and that will never change. I'm just not ready to handle a child, and I don't think I ever will be. At least not with Derek. And besides, she wants Meredith to be her mom. She hasn't even known Meredith that long! I mean-"
But Addison was cut short, submersed in her thoughts.
"Addison?" asked Mark, giving her a weird look.
Addison shook her head, and turned and walked past Mark, back to Maddie's room. But before she could wrench open the door, Mark caught her.
"What is wrong with you tonight?" he asked dragging her away from the door.
But Addison fought Mark, trying to break loose from his grip.
"ADDISON!" yelled Mark, trying to get her to snap out of it.
Finally, she quit fighting him and just stared at the door.
"Maddie's doctor, my daughter's doctor, is the same woman who screwed my husband 7 years ago."
--
The next morning
Meredith woke up early the next morning to the sound of coffee mugs banging together. Squinting Meredith lifted her head off the pillow but soon regretted it as the headache from last night hit her. Groaning Meredith flopped back onto the pillow rubbing her temples.
"Here, drink this and take this," said a cold voice setting down a cup of coffee and some aspirin. Meredith opened her eyes to see Cristina walking away from her and pouring her coffee into a thermos. Gratefully taking the coffee and aspirin, Meredith sat up.
She watched Cristina move. It seemed like she hadn't changed in 7 years. She was still the same old stingy, stubborn, strict Cristina who still had some problems that she didn't want to share. Taking another sip of her coffee, Meredith decided to try to make conversation.
"Umm thanks for you know…last night,"
Cristina turned and shot her a look and rolled her eyes. Meredith sighed and stood up.
"Cristina-"
"I'm late for work," Cristina shot as she walked out of the apartment, leaving Meredith standing in the middle of the room. Defeated, Meredith sat back down on the couch.
"She'll come around. Just give her time,"
Meredith turned to see Burke walk into the room buttoning up his shirt.
"It's 6 a.m. and she said she was late for work," Meredith whispered.
Burke laughed.
"Meredith you couldn't honestly expect her to come around that easily. She's Cristina! It was a major step for her just by taking you in and not leaving you in a drunken stupor and ending up at the hospital last night."
Meredith didn't say anything because she didn't want to admit that Burke was right.
"So you two got married? I didn't even know that you were together," Meredith said, trying to change the subject.
Burke nodded.
"We were…well erm, sleeping together during her intern year, right before you left. Then, the night you left Cristina found out that she was pregnant and I well…broke up with her. A couple days later she had an ectopic pregnancy and lost both tubes. Then I realized what had happened, and we had a little rough spot, but ever since then we've been fine and going strong."
Meredith nodded. She was happy for Cristina to finally find love and realize that happy endings do exist. Sadly that wasn't the case for Meredith.
"Mer, Addison isn't the wicked witch from the east. She's a really good surgeon and a really nice person once you get to know her. You judged her on a first impression-"
"First impressions are everything," Meredith shot back.
Burke nodded his head and sighed.
"Yes, but if you really get to know her, maybe you two will actually get to be friends. Mer, don't go back to Iowa. Maddie is recovering nicely here because of you. This is the fastest brain injury recovery I've seen in years. Not even Derek could do that. You'd get double the money here AND the publicity. You're career will skyrocket and-"
"Burke I ran away from Seattle because I wanted to become a nobody. I'm going by the name Greyson because nobody knows who Greyson is. Sure it's no use because half the hospital recognizes me, but I want to go back to being a nobody! I want…"
"You want to go back being friendless and miserable doing the same surgeries day after day and having people cower in your presence?"
Meredith didn't answer Burke. He decided not to push it anymore.
"Come in when you want to. It's not that important. I think Derek took the day off to be with Maddie, and I'm not sure about Addison. Just, when you feel ready come on in,"
Meredith smiled and Burke returned it.
"Thanks Burke,"
"No problem Mer."
Burke left the apartment, leaving Meredith sitting on the couch, running through what Burke just told her before getting up and walking over to the bathroom to take a nice long shower before going back to the place where all her problems started, but never ended.
--
Derek quietly closed the door to Maddie's room as he stepped outside into the hallway. He had just woken up from a very uncomfortable position, but it was worth it. He had spent the night with his daughter for the first time in a long time. Rubbing the sleep away from his eyes, he walked over to the nurse's station where Addison was standing.
After she had made the realization of who Meredith was, she went into an on-call room the try to cool down. Unfortunately, her version of doing so was sleeping with Mark, but hey what can a girl do? Still standing at the nurse's station, Addison tried to pretend that she was concentrating hard on one of her patient's charts, but in reality she was watching Derek out of the corner of her eye, trying to see what he was going to do.
Seeing his wife, Derek sighed and walked over to her, and cleared his throat. Acting surprised, Addison turned to Derek.
"You know, she's been asking for you. You haven't been to see her since…gosh Addison I don't know when! She's your own daughter, who was in a life threatening situation and all you have to do is submerse you self in your work? What is wrong with you?" snapped Derek.
Addison looked at him, at a lost of words.
"What-What is wrong with me? Well I don't know Derek. Why don't you tell me? You always seem to blame everything on me lately!" Addison snapped back.
Derek just shook his head.
"You know what, fine. Do whatever you want Addison. I just can't see why a mother wouldn't want to spend time with her daughter since she had to have brain surgery more than once!"
Derek started to walk away, but Addison stopped him.
"She said she didn't want me okay! I heard you two talking last night! I was coming by to say hi and give her, her teddy bear when I heard you two talking. She doesn't want me anymore Derek. If she wanted me I would, but since she doesn't then-"
"CAN YOU BLAME HER ADDISON? You haven't been apart of her life in YEARS! You've been distant from both of us! Ever since you brought her over here 7 years ago, you've seemed distant from her! Was this a way to rub something in my face? Was it a way to get me back? If I remember correctly Addison you used to want a kid. You used to beg me to consider having a child! Now that you have one, you don't want it!"
"That is not true!" she snapped back.
"It's not?"
Addison sighed.
"I did want a child Derek and I knew how much you wanted a daughter. She wasn't planned. She was from that one night that we had sex together in months! I don't know what came over you, but for some reason that night you loved me like you always had. And that's when I found out I was pregnant. But then you left. I was scared when you left Derek. But Mark was there! He helped me through those 9 months and the first few months before I realized that she needed her real father. I didn't bring her here to win you back. I brought her here because I thought she needed a father. Someone who would love her. I always loved her and I always will. She wasn't Mark's so she didn't have that special connection with her. Derek when I saw the look in your eyes the first time you laid eyes on her I melted. I hate to say it, but I never looked at her that way. I guess I'm not the mothering type."
Derek laughed.
"That's a lame excuse Addie. You're just flirting with the phrase 'I don't love her'. Why don't you just say it? She realizes that you don't, so why don't you just admit it to yourself that you don't!"
Tears were starting to well up in Addison's eyes.
"But I do love her," whispered Addison.
Derek shook his head.
"You love her because you feel like you have to. You don't know what love is Addison and you never will!"
Derek tried to walk away again, but Addison got her second wind.
"And what, you think Meredith does? You think Meredith loves her more than I do?" Addison snapped.
Derek stopped dead in his tracks and turned around.
"I know she loves Maddie more than you do. Meredith goes out of her way to check up on Maddie. She sat by Maddie's side one night when you we were gone and watched Hannah Montana with her. Something you never did!"
"Or maybe she's doing it to get closer to you!" Addison hissed.
Derek's face fell in surprise. Addison walked over to him and whispered in his ear.
"I know who she is. Meredith Greyson is Meredith Grey, Ellis Grey's daughter and the girl that you were screwing when you moved over here. Oh and look, here she comes."
Derek turned around to see Meredith walking down the hallway towards Maddie's room, but then she saw Derek and Addison. Before Meredith had a chance to turn away, Addison straightened her shoulders and walked towards Meredith. As she passed her, Addison whispered
"I know who you really are and you're not getting off that easily. You may have won him at one point in time, but you are not getting my daughter too," and Addison turned the corner and walked away. Meredith stood in her tracks staring at Derek wide eyed.
Derek shook his head and walked away. At first Meredith thought about letting him again, but then realized that she was going to have to talk to him soon or later and started to run and catch up with him.
"DEREK! DEREK!" she yelled down the hall, but he wouldn't stop. Seeing him go into an empty elevator, she ran to squeeze in before the door closed and she was successful.
Derek tried to walk out, but Meredith was blocking the doors and she pulled the emergency stop button. After a few minutes of silence, Derek ran his fingers through his hair.
"She knows who you are. She knows that you are the one that I had an affair with after I left New York. She knows that Maddie said that she wants you for a mom and she's going to fight even though she practically said that she doesn't love Maddie herself," Derek explained.
Meredith stood there.
"Derek…" Meredith started but she was soon cut off.
"You know, when Maddie was in Iowa Addison and I were thinking about a divorce. We honestly don't like each other any more. We're staying together for Maddie, and Addison doesn't even like her, which explains why she's been absent Maddie's whole life. But now, since she realizes everything that's going on, she's going to fight. She'll probably won't sign the papers because she wants to win!"
"Derek I don't want to cause a competition-"
"But you have Meredith! God, the first time I saw you walk these halls after 7 years I thought I was going to die. I've missed you Meredith and I want to be with you. I've seen how you and Maddie connect and I see how well Maddie gets along with you. Addison and Maddie never had that. They've hated each other since the start. It's like Maddie is a toy for Addison to get to me. Damn it Meredith I want you not her! I want-"
But instead of finishing his sentence he dove into Meredith and kissed her passionately. After a few minutes Meredith returned the kiss hesitantly. Derek's fingers ran through Meredith's hair as Meredith's hands latched onto Derek's neck. After a few minutes they pulled apart.
"I want that. Addison could never give me that. But now I can never have that because you're here and Addison will do anything to beat you. Damn it, why did you have to be Maddie's doctor?"
And with that, Derek reached over Meredith and pulled the emergency button to get the elevator to start again. But instead of getting off at the floor he intended to, he got off at the next floor, as if he couldn't stand being in the same elevator as Meredith. Once Derek left, and the elevator's doors closed, Meredith slid down on the floor and put her head in her hands.
Damn it Meredith, why did you have to get out of bed on the 25th?
She thought as a lone tear ran down her cheek.
A/N: I want to thank all of you who didn't desert me. When i started writing this chapter I didn't plan on having these many hiatus'. But then school got the better of me, and before I knew it, I was taking 2 month hiatus'! And I feel bad, but school kinda came first b/c my grades sucked and I had some rough patches with my home life and i was really stressed and ya. And then grey's came back! YAY! I'm not sure about that season finale, but i liked the candles! the candles were cute :D i can't believe they're going on their 5 season!
BUt anyway, I end my junior year on the 4th. I have 1 exam to take on tuesday b/c i'm exempt from my others. My school district made a deal w/ us that if we pass our state standardized test, we're exempt from our corressponding finals. being a junior, i had to take the math, science, history, and english test, and i passed them all with flying colors, so i don't have to take those finals. I only have to take my health final on tuesday! yay! lol. which means more updates! if you guys didn't desert me!
I also have another story going. I started it over spring break b/c i love the jonas brothers. It is a jonas brothers fic and it's posted in the hannah montana section. i'm trying to get people to read it, so i hope you guys will check that out, even if you don't like the jonas brothers OR hannah montana. please do it because u love me! i'll be updating that next, so ya. it's called start all over if you want to look for it.
and i know i'm rambling so i'm stopping. i'm just hoping that you guys didn't desert me and that i'll get losts of reviews! b/c the reviews make me feel bad and make me want to update! i think i finally know where i'm going with this! i got a lot of ppl on addison's side, so i hope this cleared some stuff up
Now to wrap up my LONG A/N: 5+ reviews means a new chapter! please let me know how i did and that you guys still love me b/c i definitely still love you! and i love you even more if you acutally read every word of this A/N :DDD