Chapter 13: Seeds Sown
Sardonyx Facet? Cut?
For several days we sit, still, as the ship carries us along. The first two, we are silent, reflecting on our first battle together. I can hardly believe it. It passed so quickly, and though it was definitely quite an event, I feel as though it was smaller than I thought it might be. Don't get me wrong, it was terrifying, and I do not look forward to the stresses of fighting again, but part of me had expectations for what the heat of battle 'ought to be', and it wasn't so. Everything moves faster when you're fighting for your life; I thought this made everything feel more important, more weighty, but truthfully, I have never felt more carefree, my actions inconsequential.
I haven't been able to make much more sense of it beyond that observation, and I worry that Phantom Fluorite may be thinking on it differently. I know that they did their best to encourage me in the beginning, but have they changed their mind? We've been so quiet, these past few days, talking only rarely, and when we do, it's Phantom telling a little bit more of their story. We say nothing of the battle, of Luna Agate, or of Pyrope, who is assuredly on our trail. There's no way of knowing how far she is behind us, or what we'll have to do to fend her off again. We've held against her well, so far, but as we've learned, there's still a lot we don't know, and that is our greatest weakness.
Thankfully, though, Phantom seems to be regaining their strength rather quickly this time around. Maybe getting back into using it is helping build up their magical stamina, or some such. It's hard to say. All I know is that they seem livelier, even if they are quiet, and the haunting, daunting tiredness that weighed down their eye at the start of this second flight is almost gone.
Speaking of, I'm not sure if talking about their early life has been at all helpful with that, but if only for my own sake, I'd like to believe it has. However, for my own part, it's been a great new weight on my mind. Already, it's a hazy half-story, but the gist of it is still as horrible as the minute details. The tortures they've endured, not only under the hands and tools of scientists who might be able to claim a reasonable interest in their unique abilities, but also in the court of the First Diamond herself, by her orders, by her words.. The suffering they've endured makes me sick, and furious, so, so furious.
When my thoughts linger on it, I can actually feel my mind grow heavy and dark. How dare they? How could anyone? But in truth, I know how easy it can be to be cruel when you just don't know better. I would have hoped, even so, that a Diamond was as guilty of ignorance as her petty scientists.. But I know better now, and I will never, ever let Phantom fall prey to their injustices again. I hope, I wish on every blinking star in the window that they never do get ahold of my partner again, but I also know that even if they do, I will not let them stay there for long. Homeworld will burn under my feet before I allow them to suffer again.
What bothers me even more than these thoughts, is the realization that Phantom has been otherwise distant these past days. If I reach out, they pull back or decline. If I call to them, hoping to talk, they seem exhausted again. I'm trying to understand, but it's hard. I keep trying to remember that it's hard for them to talk at all, that it's asking a lot of them and that this distance is probably a necessity for them, so they're not overwhelmed. Still, I do struggle with it. I don't know if they know that, though. I can hardly see fit to talk about my own self when I know they're undergoing their own deep and likely painful introspection.
It is our third day of unbroken silence when the autopilot beeps out a warning, automatically slowing down the ship. After so long barely moving, we are quite suddenly poised and at attention.
'Warning', it says across the console, 'Ships in flight path. Reducing speed to diminish crash likelihood.'
"What?" Phantom says, first. We immediately look out the windshield, but there's nothing in visible range. There is a large asteroid belt some distance ahead and slightly below us, but otherwise there's nothing to be seen. On the map, however, a large array of dots are scattered just beyond the reach of the asteroid belt, and its reach is nearly as impressive. This is some sort of shipment, but it's a shipment of gems rather than goods. It stretches far and wide, the number of ships likely in the hundreds. It's heading the same place as us, and for very similar reasons, but likely far worse intents..
"Damnation." Phantom growls. "How are we supposed to get around this?"
"I.. I have no idea. They'll see us coming, all those ships, all those eyes, so we can't just.. go around them. Surely their ships will sense ours, too, but at what range?"
"Well, they don't seem to be mobilizing yet. Do you think we can skirt it if we go far enough around?"
"Yeah, theoretically. I just.. Don't know how far above or below we'd have to go. And if Pyrope catches up to us, she'd probably be able to mobilize some scouts to find us, and then we're really stuck."
"What if we just dash around it as fast as we can, and keep going?"
"Well, if they notice us, they'll likely call ahead to the planets we've colonized in that direction that we're heading that way, and I suppose we could change directions but checking the map here…" I take a moment to scan through the map. "... there's not a lot of places we could try to go where they wouldn't predictably warn of our arrival or reach before the ship needs refueling. And there's also a strong chance that they'd only call ahead if we escaped their mobile troops, which I almost guarantee will be faster than ours. The last planet was older, so their models are all going to be older too, so all the ships Homeworld is sending to Earth will be newer, faster, stronger.."
"So we're trapped?"
"I.. no. Maybe not. Maybe we can.. find our way on one of these ships and.. either stowaway or steal one of those faster ships and get ourselves out as fast and discreetly as possible."
"So just a.. hastening of the original plan. Plus several thousand gem warriors." Phantom nods, a bitter tone in their voice. "There's no chance we can just.. shut off the engine and hide out in this ring, out-wait them?"
"If Pyrope shows up, they'll come looking for us, spread out in every direction. It's almost guaranteed they'd find us." I shake my head, a pit in my stomach. Phantom groans, putting their hands to their face, rubbing their eye and forehead.
"We're as good as captured." They moan.
"Don't say that! It's.. it's not going to be easy, whatever we do, but we can get through this. I don't know how, yet, but I know we can." I put a hand on their arm, trying to reinspire them, but they pull away. I shrink back.
"Alright, I'm thinking our best bet it to shoot nearly straight up or down relative to them and take a wide arc back on track, full speed, breakneck for as long as possible, and if someone comes after us, we fight them off or steal their ship. Whatever we have to do." They say, immediately correcting the ship's flight. I can't think of a better way or a reason to argue, so I say nothing. Soon, we're hurtling 'down', underneath the rampant path of ships. The map changes angles, and we can see the path of the ships 'above' us, gratefully none of which break away to follow or chase us. Phantom increases our speed as we start to move past them, having ducked so far beyond them, till the dots on the map are almost too distant to render, and I standby, ready to do whatever I need to.
"You asked for weapons on this ship, right? Do you know how to use them? Can you show me quickly?"
"Ah, yes. Here, this window activates it, it should pull up a new set of controls-" They say, hands flying through the commands, two sets of joysticks mechanically elevating from inside the control board. "- and somewhere on there, there's a button. I don't know what this ship has, but it's usually a sort of explosive.. fireball, or something."
"Alright."
"They fire out the front. If this ship were larger, it might have had turrets out the back, but I don't see any such control here or in the design." They continue, hardly pausing as I sit down, reading and searching through the ship's database faster than I'd have thought possible. "There's a screen on there for personal aiming, the captain's aims essentially straight ahead. Yours will be more versatile." In between the joysticks, there's a thin and flat panel. I flip it up, and it lights up, locking into place. I can see outside the ship, and moving it around I can adjust what I see. In the center there are crosshairs, which I assume are for aiming.
"Okay."
"Do you expect them to give chase soon, then?" I look up at them, but their focus is on the ship, on the controls, likely watching the map for pursuers.
"I don't know. I don't know what else to do in the time we have before they do but to try to.. plan ahead." I shrug. Phantom only nods, still not looking at me. "Phantom, are you okay?"
"Of course, why wouldn't I be? We're already in another fight-or-die scenario." They say, bitterly.
"You're not acting like you normally do." I ignore the smart remark. It's likely a symptom of what's really bothering them.
"I'm fine." Their voice is biting, scathing.
"You're obviously not. And the attitude only makes it more apparent. Please, like you said, we're in another fight for our lives, or will be soon. We need to be.. in sync. And I'm worried." They sigh, brow furrowing.
"I am… not having a great time working through old memories. I know you thought it would help, but it's not. It's only making me more anxious about everything we've yet to face, and I've been trying to bury it all back down again so I can function enough to survive. Pardon me if it's something of a private affair." Finally they turn to me, only the slightest bit, and only to deliver a glare. I don't shrink back this time, but I cannot hold their gaze. I blink and look down at my screen. "Is that a satisfactory answer?"
"Yes. Sorry for.. bothering you." I shrug, shaking my head. I want to say something to lighten the mood again, something encouraging, how I'm here for them, how I'm sorry for being wrong, anything at all, but I can't think of anything to say that doesn't seem like it won't make their mood worse.
"It's fine. Just be prepared." They sigh again, turning back to the console. The ship goes quiet again after that, but it feels heavy and frightening. This is that dark edge of Phantom that I foolishly thought was behind us. Of course things will still be hard, of course things may not work out, of course, of course. I guess I just got too used to things.. working out, and gems aren't so easy as to just 'work themselves out', or else wouldn't Phantom have done it long ago, without me? I just tell myself it'll be alright as long as I stick with them. We'll work things out between us, come what may.
It's half an hour before anything moves on the map besides us, and, unfortunately, it's nothing short of a horde that mobilizes to give chase. They spread wide and thin in all directions, and it's another twenty minutes before a few lock onto our signal, and come racing after us.
I sit at the ready, my turrets aimed vaguely in the direction they'll be coming from. Phantom turns us over so that the bottom of our ship is pointed at our previous 'up', so we hopefully won't be blindsided. They say nothing as the enemy ships approach, and I grip the joysticks uncomfortably. I'm not even terribly familiar with my own weapon, let alone this foreign mechanism built outside my form. I also worry about the damage I might do to the other gems. Despite their ill will for us, I can't bring myself to be happy about their potential destruction or demise.. I want to survive, but is it really worth it if I have to end the lives of others, those gems who I am in theory also trying to help and free?
"Stop thinking like that." Phantom interrupts, somewhat gently. It's the first thing they've said today that isn't intoned like a vocal attack. "You'll do what you have to. We both will." I vaguely, spontaneously, remember back to the very start of this, however long ago it was, when Phantom suggested that we must try to prioritize our own survival, given that our intent is a better one than our enemies'. I remember feeling even that, that even if we were morally superior, that's not an excuse to choose who lives or dies. I still feel that way.
But Phantom is still right that they won't hesitate. There is no sympathy that we can reasonably expect. Gems like the Cassiterites will be the exception, not the rule, and we cannot rely on exceptions. I breathe a deep, steadying breath. If anyone does fall by my actions, I will only work that much harder to ensure that whatever future comes out of this is worth it. That something I do makes up for the loss. I will carry on in the names of the fallen. Every single one.
"Better." I hear Phantom mumble. I grate at the response, a little hurt that they're judging my very thoughts, rather than allowing me to tell them myself, to explain, especially since it's an imperfect gift. Didn't they say it was just a 'sense' of 'feelings' rather than direct thoughts? But there's no time to berate or comment or complain. I can see ships nearing on my screen now, visible not just as a blip on a map.
I steel myself and fire first. My shots echo, reverberate through the ship, a ball of plasma hurtling towards the engine of one of the lead ships. The belly explodes and the ship is overcome as the others fly past. I keep going, taking careful if quick aim to immobilize rather than obliterate their ships. Phantom does likewise while moving the ship, not that I can really track whose shots are whose when we're both firing as rapidly as the ship and our motions allow. They start to fire as well, and it becomes a game of intercepting their shots as well as their ships.
For what an impressively long but ultimately short amount of time, we manage not to get hit ourselves through a combination of Phantom's slick guiding control and both our sharp-shooting, but it comes to an end as a stray shot slips through our barrage and sends us awry, the ship spiraling out of Phantoms control momentarily. That's all the enemy needs to utterly surround us, their ships larger, sleeker. We knew we couldn't outrun or outfire them, but what else can we try at this point?
Phantom rights the ship, and dashes for an opening firing at the ships that try to block us, while I cover those to our sides. There's so many, though, and they're in every direction now. If only I was Phantom, I would shove them out of our way with my mind, but I can't. I'm a Sardonyx with little more than sharp hands and teeth and a rebellious nature.
"Take control of the ship!" Phantom commands, suddenly, their voice somehow out loud and in my head as well. Instinctively, I start to use my joysticks to guide the ship, surprisingly unsurprised when it does as I command. "Guide us forward, I'll clear a path." They say, their voice resounding in my mind like a deeply tolling bell. I shoot the ship forward, as commanded, unsure how I know how to do this. It feels right, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. Still, there's not much time to question it.
As we dart forward, enemy ships similarly dart to intercept us, but they are strangely, magically pulled out of the way. I can see through the corner of my eyes that Phantom is gesticulating, arms pumping as though physically guiding the enemies. My idea-!
I fall into a sort of alignment with the ship. The more I pilot it, the more familiar it feels, and I start to test it's abilities as well as my own. Soon, it's almost like we're dancing through the enemy fleet, Phantom directing them away from us and into each other. We flip, spiral, spin, and glide through and around them, and I cannot help but let out a laugh, knowing that this is me, my ability, my contribution.
But the dance comes to an end as our 'partners' become still in the space around us, and we have the opportunity to run to safety. Phantom resumes control of the ship, something I begrudgingly accept, taking us away. I watch behind us for any surprises, but there is only a field of motionless ships in our immediate area. A second and third barrage of ships are approaching, but they're coming from farther out, only visible on the map. It'll take some time before they reach us, but now we know how to deal with them, and hopefully some of them will stop to rescue their comrades. A bit of guilt claws at my stomach, and I hope that no one was seriously injured, that is, that no one's gem was affected.
Phantom is quiet again, though the mood seems less tense now that we've managed to survive our first round of space-battle.
"So.. that wasn't so bad." I say. Phantom just shoots me a look, grimacing. "Well, it wasn't. I think we did really good just now." They shake their head, annoyed. "What is the problem? Did I do something?"
"No. I'm just trying to focus on continuing to not die. You're having too much fun for something that our survival is staked on."
"I- I'm trying to make the most of the situation. I mean- it's hard and it's horrible but-"
"There are no 'buts'! It's hard and it's horrible and that's it! If you would kindly just focus, we've got incoming. I'm going to push them back, so take control again." And then, just like that, my hands are the ones guiding the ship, and Phantom is facing out the rear windows, hand out, mind distant. I huff as I keep the ship steady, hurt by their attitude and the ease with which they command me. I don't mind being told what to do- it's the tone they're taking, demanding, expectant nature of it. I focus on moving forward, and say nothing. "I think I can give the ship a bit of a boost. Focus on trying to find someplace to land and hide- I want to turn the ship completely off."
"Won't that leave us open to attack if they find us anyway?" I don't mean to sound snippy or contradictory for the sake of it, but my irritation at their commanding tone refuses to go unheard.
"Just do it." They bark, and I feel the ship lurch with extra kinetic energy, so I just scowl and do as I've been told. The dots on the map grow distant, and I start to realistically examine the planetoids and asteroids we're passing, until one with a decent sized crevice appears to our 'right'. I slow the ship and head for it, but I feel Phantom's telekinesis overpower my motions, landing the ship for me. As soon as we're touched down, they spin around, cutting off the engine and powering down all of its functions. Everything goes dark- the board, the lights, the asteroid outside, and with the engine completely off, the deep quiet of empty space seems to swallow us whole.
"Alright, so now what?"
"I'm watching for them. We've disappeared off their maps, and they're still recovering from the unexpected braking I did for them. The ones that can move again are spreading out, and ships further back are starting to spread out as well." Phantom narrates.
"Okay."
"I'm hoping they just give up. We appear to have simply stopped existing, and they don't know where we could possibly be."
"They'll start scanning for gem signatures, then."
"How accurate are they?"
"Generally, I believe they can only detect energy signatures within a half a kilometer, and it's not necessarily pinpoint accurate on a map."
"I think I can cloak the asteroid so that they can't see it, and won't be able to decide to scan it. There are no other bodies near ours, either." They say, somewhat unrelated. I'm sure glad they've thought all this out without me. Like when we practiced before, I feel the veil of forced perception fall around us, but it has no effect on me. Ship, Phantom, and asteroid remain visible to me, but I can feel a kind of weight around it all that says 'nothing here'. "Now, if I can just hold it until they pass and give up." Phantom says, slightly strained.
"How long do you think that'll be?" I ask, concerned. While they seem recovered from their magical exertions previous, I in truth don't know the extent of their abilities when cloaking something this large, and though they have been inconsiderate in this endeavor, I am still worried for them.
"I don't know, but it would behoove you to be quiet so that I can concentrate on us getting out of this alive." The biting tone is back, accusatory. I feel myself scowl, and they return the expression, a touch of sneer to their look. I want to talk back, to explain, to question, but I know it would be a conflict of interests. We want to live, after all, as Phantom keeps pointing out. "And for pity's sake, stop thinking so loudly, Sardonyx."
"OKAY, that's enough!" I explode, leaping from my seat, hands raised. "'Do this, do that!' is getting old, Phantom! I'm your partner and a person, not a voice-activated machine!"
"Sardonyx, be quiet!"
"No! You've been rude this whole time! I get you need space or silence or whatever but you seem to be forgetting that we need to talk to each other, too!"
"Not right now! We can talk about this later, when our existence is not being threatened!"
"When will that be, Phantom? Tomorrow? The next day? When we get to Earth?! Our whole lives from here on is 'being threatened', and it doesn't mean we can't communicate! If anything, it necessitates it a whole lot more!" I scream, fists clenched.
"Shut up!" Phantom screams back, the ship rumbling.
"No!" I stomp a foot, glaring up at Phantom, whose face is curled in a snarl back down at me. "You're allowed to get angry at me, but you need to at least tell me why!"
"Maybe I'm angry because this whole adventure is a fruitless farce of effort that's going to get us killed! Maybe I'm angry because the partner, the person I've pinned my own existence on, is a loudmouthed, messy-headed, fool of a clod who's going to get us both shattered without having ever accomplished anything!" I pull back then, horrified at their words that sting more than a physical blow could, as the rumbling culminates in a forceful release of the cloak, shaking loose the veil that kept us hidden, in fact releasing a large flash of light. Phantom and I both look around, and we can see the ships turning to head towards us.
"Now look what you've done!" Phantom yells violently.
"Me?! I'm not the one who's shouting and blaming their partner for trying to help them!"
"Oh, you're trying to help? See, I thought you were trying to do the opposite, and you were doing such a good job!" They sneer, hastily bringing the ship back to life. I bare my teeth, furious. How dare they?! As furious as I am, though, I don't get to say anything as they wrench the ship from the asteroid, knocking me off my feet. "Get over here and get ready to fight again." Phantom snarls over their shoulder at me. I growl at them, though, before rising to my feet.
Before I can take my seat, we're hit with a shower of blasts that rocks the ship and send me to my knees. The eclipse-shaped dome of a window above us cracks and shatters, the void of space stealing in around us. I am once more shocked with how cold and horrible it feels, but I force myself to focus on not being stolen from the ship, hands miraculously weaponized and dug into the flooring. I look up to see Phantom pressed tight to their seat, safe.
The momentary relief with the knowledge of their safety almost instantly disappears and is replaced with anger at their previous actions. "Sardonyx!" They yell for me, but it's the commanding, expectant tone. I can see the ships around us preparing to take aim, so I decide to do something stupid.
Not even bothering to rise from the floor, I crouch low and leap, as hard as I possibly can, up through the emptiness towards one of the ships. I crash, hard, into the belly of ship, and I waste no time in tearing at the turret, the ball of energy that was forming deep inside being trapped as I warp the tube that would have sent it barreling into our ship. I leap to the next ship as the turret explodes, the ship bumbling up and away from the force. I repeat this, leaping from ship to ship, mutilating and destroying in whatever ways I possibly can.
And I feel it- the dance-like state of mind that keeps overcoming me, first on the planet against Luna Agate's forces, and then again just moments ago when I was directing the ship. It seems to come meet me here, but it's much different this time. Rather than a happenstance discovery of flow and grace, I am a being of melodious fury, destruction every bit a part of the music of the moment as the leaps and twists and twirls are. And what destruction I wreak! They are helpless against me, these ships! Their allies cannot take aim for my form without risking a miss and destroying the ships worse than I can, and they cannot defend themselves for the same reason! In this moment, I am ruin.