Rose was all fingers and thumbs as she held the envelope containing her pregnancy test results. It have been over four weeks since their first proper night together and she didn't know if she was late due to being nervous about being late or if she was indeed pregnant. Would they both be disappointed if she wasn't? Maybe she hadn't actually got pregnant that night but one of their many nights since, they hadn't even had their safety margin just before she realised she was late, it didn't seem to matter to them, Alec had never even mentioned it. He had just been content to carry on as normal even when he knew they should stop, he didn't think Rose cared either.
He knew he should have asked her to marry him last night, down by the harbour, would she think he was just asking her now because she was pregnant? No, she wouldn't think that, plus he had the receipt for the ring to prove when he had bought it, he was going to get it insured once he had given it to her and needed the proof of purchase but he'd had it in his jacket pocket for over a month and he couldn't bring himself to ask her. What the hell was wrong with him? Well to start, his first proposal to his ex hadn't quite gone as planned when she slapped him and told him it was too soon after going out for over a year but he'd been like a lovesick puppy and finally worn her down with flowers and messages and stopping her on the stairs in the Police Station several times a day until she finally said yes and they had got drunk that night and she'd ended up pregnant.
Rose had been so different, he knew she was right from the start then the night after the dinner at the Millers house, they hadn't even discussed it, it was like she actually wanted to get herself pregnant but why the sudden decision? Maybe she was afraid he wouldn't survive an operation and wanted his child to remember him by, that was so her. He had never known anyone like her, there was something special about her but he had one more test to pass, according to her stepfather, that of meeting her mother's approval and he would have to face that challenge next Saturday when they all came down for a visit.
Right then, better get to work on that marriage proposal because if Rose was pregnant, he didn't fancy facing Mrs Tyler and telling her he had got her daughter pregnant and wasn't prepared to marry her. Whatever the result was in that envelope, he was going to ask her this weekend. His friend was coming down tomorrow afternoon to see if he would recommend the surgery he needed and if he got the go ahead, he would ask her afterwards and if not, if his doctor told him to wait a bit longer or he couldn't go for it he would talk to her about it because no matter what, if he wasn't going to make it, he wanted Rose to be his wife when his time was up.
He didn't even know how long these pills would keep working, he had never discussed it. He'd got enough to last a few more days, his friend was bringing some more but what if they stopped working? Even worse, what if he had the operation and that didn't work out? No, he mustn't think like that because here was Rose, the love of his life, looking at him to open the envelope with her, tears in her eyes, now looking at him to open the envelope for her as she put her hand in his. This was it, his chance of a life and a family with Rose.
Rose looked at him, he seemed miles away. She was about to turn the envelope over to open it, it was one of the peel type envelopes that came unstuck easily but she was afraid to open it and wanted him to do it. No matter what the results were, negative or positive, she knew his love wouldn't falter for her nor hers for him, they would just have to keep trying while he was able or wait until after his operation. His friend was coming all the way down from Scotland tomorrow to see him, to recommend surgery or to recommend waiting a bit longer. She hoped Alec would have some good news for him and his friend would have good news for him in return.
The money for his operation was all there waiting for him, he just needed to get it arranged but Pete wouldn't tell Rose exactly how much money was in the special account he had set up for her after he had married her mother, she had refused to go anywhere near it but Pete had always said it would be there should she ever need it and if it was all going to be spent on one thing, it was going to be spent on Alec's operation, she would not have him go on a waiting list for a health service one that could take months. Alec had said the Police provided adequate health insurance for him but he would still have had to wait for approval and gone where they sent him, he didn't even know if it covered heart operations but he still wouldn't have the best money could buy.
"Alec, you open it, I can't look."
Alec was snapped out of his daydream as she passed the envelope into his hand. He let go of hers for a second to peel it open and took out the printed form. Her name was on the top, her date of birth, which Alec was seeing in actual print for the first time, they had exchanged personal details over the last three months or so, Rose sticking to her invented one but seeing it officially, she was still much younger than he was, she was 27, he was 38 but knew he looked older with his illness and his stupid scruffy appearance that had attracted Rose to him in the first place and he was sure she would leave him if he ever shaved it off fully but perhaps a trim further back than he usually went wouldn't go amiss once in a while.
He read further down for the results – negative.
He looked at Rose and showed her, he couldn't look into her eyes, he knew there were tears in them. He took her in his arms, the envelope and the piece of paper still in his hands and led her outside and took her across the street again and sat her down, ordering more tea when the waitress came out to them.
"I'm so sorry Rose, we both wanted this but there's still a chance, it might be too early to tell yet. Why don't we come back next Saturday morning before your family arrives and you can take it again?"
Rose managed a nod, tears still in her eyes, she had really hoped the test would be positive but it wouldn't put her off, they would keep trying. She had never been as sure about anything, settling down and having a family with Alec, it was all that mattered.
"It's ok Alec, maybe you're right, it may be too soon."
Their tea arrived and they sat silently, Alec had his hand on her leg under the table, trying to think of ways to cheer her up though he doubted anything could.
"What time is your friend arriving tomorrow?" she asked.
"Around two in the afternoon. We can go out for lunch before he arrives if you like or invite him out."
"Can we go back to that Sunday market in Charmouth in the morning?"
If that cheered her up he was all for it. "Yes, if you like, was there anything in particular you wanted to get while you're there?" he asked, sipping his tea.
Rose managed one of her tongue-in-cheek smiles he loved so much about her. She simply said, "More pumpkin socks?"
Alec smiled and leaned over to kiss her cheek. He knew she was trying to hide her disappointment, they both were. They left the town centre and drove to the supermarket, having their usual discussion about groceries then Alec had to go put some fuel in the car even though he was taking it back on Monday morning but he was going to rent one for a couple of weeks while Rose's family were there. He had to smile, he had left the car radio on, Rose's favourite radio station that played oldies and he had just gone into the kiosk to pay and turned around to see her moving around and singing along to some tune she liked and he had to smile, until he noticed everyone else in the filling station was watching her as well.
He paid for his fuel, having to say the fuel pump number and the cashier looking at him, amused. Was this what he was letting himself in for? Having people stare at her every time? He had slowly been registering sly looks from other men when they had been out but had brushed it off, she would never look at them once let alone twice and the women at the station had whispered about him, especially when Rose marked him and he couldn't cover them up with his shirt collar, something he swore she did on purpose as a warning to other women to back off, Rose had been marking her territory and he loved every minute of it.
Maybe he should take her out tonight, ask her then, no alcohol, just in case but she didn't need to drink for her to enjoy herself and neither did he although he still wasn't sure if it had been that the first night they had been together properly. He got back in the car and smiled, putting his hand on her leg before he set off. Rose just looked and smiled back at him.
"What?" she asked, wondering why he was smiling.
"You, Rose Tyler, you're amazing and you know you're far too young and too good for me."
"Then tough, get used to it snuggles," she replied as they drove off. Alec just shook his head, grinning at her.
After unpacking the shopping and Alec watching the afternoon news, they fooled around on the sofa, just kissing and he asked if she wanted to go out that evening. This was going to be it, he was going to ask her tonight, somewhere nice, candlelit and where he wouldn't get interrupted. Rose had other ideas.
"Let's just stay in tonight Alec, can we?"
"Ok pumpkin, if that's what you want. Why don't I do the cooking, you just relax?" He had made her breakfast on weekends but had never offered to cook an evening meal before.
Rose was impressed with his offer. The meals they bought were simple enough to prepare, Rose didn't do complicated. While Alec detested ready-made meals, he didn't mind it all being prepared in a tinfoil carton ready to put into the oven or a saucepan and ready prepared vegetable to put in the microwave oven or another pan. He got up, kissing her cheek and said to leave it all to him. He was thinking of a way to bring up the subject and sneak the ring box out of his pocket. If he kept it there any longer, Rose would become suspicious that he forever had his hands in his pocket. Either that or she would find it in his other jacket in the wardrobe, he had never taken it to work with him for fear of losing it. Now though he only had one more day to work, from Tuesday he would be off until his fate was decided.
He went into the kitchen and prepared everything, noting the cooking times, he would have about 45 minutes altogether and making a note when to put the vegetables in so it would be all ready at the same time. He saw Rose was resting on the sofa, her eyes seemed closed so he went to get changed into one of his t-shirts, he still preferred going out in a shirt and trousers although Rose liked it if he went out in his jeans sometimes, she liked to put her hand in his back pocket, it made him smile. So he put his jeans on, hoping it would please her and a red striped button-down t-shirt, not fastening the buttons and looked at himself in the mirror, rubbing his hand over his jaw. Time for a shave, Hardy, he told himself. Maybe not too much, just enough to see her reaction and not enough to scare her away.
He surveyed himself in the mirror, having taken a few days worth of growth off his beard and keeping a little of his sideburns, he realised he'd not looked like that for a considerable time. Would Rose like it? Maybe he should just go the whole way and get rid of it? No, he'd wait to see what she said. Sneaking back into the kitchen before Rose realised he was missing and finishing making dinner, he went to wake Rose when he realised she was still asleep. He looked down on her and knew just how much he loved her. Bending down over her and brushing her cheek, Rose opened her eyes and bolted upright, Alec having to dodge back so she didn't collide with his head.
"What's wrong pumpkin?" he asked as she sprang back as far as she could go, her legs curled under her.
She looked at him like she had seen a ghost. She thought she was seeing things. "Alec? What have you done?"
Alec rubbed his chin. "My new look, do you like it Sweetheart?" he asked, moving her feet and sitting at the side of her, leaning over to kiss her cheek.
His new look tickled her cheek, his beard had been soft. She reached out her hand and touched his face. "You look different."
"Good different or bad different?" he asked, running a finger under her chin and pulling her nearer for a kiss.
Rose had been over this conversation before, many years ago, another universe away. "Just different."
The rest of the conversation from long ago was forgotten as she looked at Alec, the man she loved and who loved her beyond the shadow of a doubt. He was trying to impress her, make up for their earlier disappointment. She let him pull her closer and their lips touched lightly.
"Then I'll go serve dinner, do you want to eat here or at the table?"
Rose got up and followed him and sat at the table. Alec called in from the kitchen. "We could have gone out you know, so now, if you don't like my cooking, you're kind of stuck."
Rose smiled. "I'm sure it will be fine Alec," she assured him.
He came back in with two candles in holders he had bought her a few weeks ago on one of their shopping trips, he'd got them out of the display cabinet and lit them with the gas lighter he'd brought from the kitchen, turning the light out. It wasn't really dark outside but at the back of the room it was. Now in just the candlelight, Rose thought he was up to something. He was. He went back out and brought in two plates and put them down then sat opposite her.
"You should have said you were getting changed Alec, I would have got changed too."
She was wearing a blue jersey dress and Alec thought it showed off her figure. "You always look amazing pumpkin," he said, admiring her figure and trying not to drop what was on his fork.
Rose smiled, he always complimented her even when she was wearing her jeans and a t-shirt. When they'd finished eating, he cleared the table and got her favourite ice-cream for her, the lemon meringue one and Rose knew she was in for trouble and she wasn't even wearing her pumpkin socks, she had forgotten to wash them which was why she wanted to go get more.
Dessert out of the way, Alec put some music on and they danced for a while, her arms around his neck, first with his shirt unbuttoned then when he lost it somewhere along the line. Rose had gone to get changed while he had been clearing the dishes, putting on a short dress and discarding her bra and opting for just a pair of skimpy knickers that were hardly there and showed off her bum. As they danced, his hand slid up the short dress and feeling there was hardly anything there then decided there was too much there and put his hand down the back and they slid onto the floor, Rose stepping out of them and Alec scooping her up and laying her on the sofa.
He sat over her, pulling the short dress above her waist and leaned down to kiss her belly, his hand on her inner thigh.
"What do you want pumpkin?" he asked as his hand went inwards.
Rose unfastened the button on his jeans and pulled down the zip. "I want you babe," she said, pulling him down to kiss him.
Alec climbed onto her, pulling down his jeans with a little help and laying down on her, Rose putting her hand down the back of his shorts and pulling them down at the back.
"You got me," he said as she pulled them down and they touched.
They kissed then Alec scrambled to pull his shorts back up, leaving Rose rather puzzled to his action. He got up and pulled her dress back down, taking her hand.
"I think we should take this to the bedroom," he whispered into her ear.
They gathered their clothes and Alec blew out the candles and Rose led him into their bedroom.
As Alec lay under Rose after they had made love, he still hadn't been given the chance to ask her and although time wasn't really running out in one way, the time was getting nearer to meeting her mother and brother and if they went back to get Rose another test next weekend, he wanted it to be as his fiancée and then if the test was positive, he would have asked her before they found out.
There was still tomorrow, maybe when they got back from the Sunday market, before his friend arrived, he could take her to the beach after they got out of the market.
TBC