Stupidity

"You really are stupid."

Hermione nods, looking at the broken toy in her hand. Can't she do anything right anymore?

"Yeah, I know."

"You should just... Wait what?"

Ginny turns around as fast as her belly allows it - it's so big these days, that Hermione thinks it looks like some alien entity is clinging to her waist. But Ginny swears there is only one baby inside of it.

Hermione sometimes thinks Harry has done one transfiguration too many and that it's really a baby elephant in there, but she has never voiced that particular hypothesis of hers.

Ginny would murder her. With spoons and a lot of blood involved.

"It's just a music box, there is no need to beat yourself up over it."

She suddenly takes in Hermione's depressed face.

"Oh", she says. "It's Draco again, isn't it?"

"How dNo. No", Hermione denies, horrified.

"Oh yes, it is."

"Not at all!"

Ginny snorts, setting down the ruined toy - these days, every charm coming from Hermione's wand is a disaster.

"You almost said : "How did you know?""

Hermione opens her mouth to protest before closing it again : she knows a lost cause when she sees one.

"Okay, fine. I did."

"Right."

Ginny nods smugly. Hermione buries her face in her hands, feeling so utterly pathetic she wouldn't be surprised to die of it.

"So... have something to tell me, haven't you?"

"Well..."

Hermione hesitates. It's all very embarrassing and she would really have rather kept the entire thing between her and Crookshanks. But Ginny's gleeful face leaves her no hope : it's too late, now. If she doesn't cave, her traitorous so-called best friend will pester her to death and it will inevitably end in a devastingly humiliating way. And humiliation knows no boundaries when it comes to Hermione Granger.

"Spill!" Ginny commands.

"Okay", says Hermione, taking a deep breath. "Okay, so I made a horrible mistake."

"Finally, mutters Ginny. I never thought I'd see the day. Go on, say it", she adds impatiently.

Hermione presses her lips together and looks at her feet. Is her third toe longer than the second? She looks at her left foot for confirmation.

Merlin, it is! Her feet are hideously deformed and she never noticed before!

"Hermione..."

"I like him", blurts Hermione. "Are you happy? I'm stupid and lonely and I let him seduce me with... with blueberry muffins! And argh! I'm so stupid!"

Ginny winces. Whatever Draco did to her friend, she hopes he can fix it - she doesn't think she can handle a stupid whiny Hermione for much longer.

"And?" she asks after a silence.

"Well, nothing : I have a crush on him." Hermione scrunches her face in distaste. "And you have the right to call me stupid one more time because I really deserve it for falling for someone like him", she adds as an afterthought.

"Wait, that's it ? You're sorry because you fell in love with Draco?"

"In like", Hermione corrects, feeling herself flush.

Somehow, Ginny's incredulous face makes her confession sounds like a horrible mistake.

"You did know how I feel beforehand, didn't you?" she asks, a little apprehensive, now.

"Yeah, I bloody knew it, says Ginny. But that's not what I was talking about - I mean, how is liking him a mistake?"

Hermione stiffens and glances at her watch, hurriedly, already listing every available excuse to take her leave. Now. She stands up, shuffling a little to try and not crush the numerous baby stuffs littering the floor.

"Oh no, you don't", says Ginny, yanking her by her sleeve to make her sit down again.

"But..."

"No buts, I want to know everything. You're driving me up the wall with your long face, and it's not good for the baby : we're going to fix it right now." Hermione opens her mouth and Ginny lifts one hand. "And I don't care if you have to die of embarrassment in the process: I wouldn't have to make you talk about it if you weren't so hopeless in the first place. Understood?"

Hermione thinks she's quite intimidating for a small currently fat girl dressed with what looks like a dust bag with pink butterflies on it. But she refrains from mentioning it because Ginny spent entirely too much time with Alastor Moody as a child.

So she just nods meekly and settles back down. Then she waits and fiddles with a weird looking plushy until Ginny elbows her in the ribs. It hurts.

"I want details. And don't make me hurt you", Ginny threatens.

Hermione has nothing to say, really. Because she thought entirely too much about coffee and muffins and the-thing-which-was-not-a-kiss, and that she overlooked who was Draco in reality.

He looked so very frustrated and angry when she said goodbye to him after their presentation that she thought that maybe... But it was probably just exhaustion, and nine days later, he was going out with Ingrid, from the accounts department. What did she expect? She can't believe she let herself forget that Draco is Malfoy, not some kind of angelic twin of his.

Hermione tells Ginny as much.

Then Ginny laughs. Hermione briefly wonders how comes her confessions always get this reaction. Somehow, she feels like she should be offended by it.

"What? asks Ginny, disbelief written all over her face. That's all? Tell me, you weren't expecting him to wait for you ad vitam eternam, were you?"

"It's only been nineteen days, Hermione argues. I hardly consider that eternity!"

Then she realizes it sounded as if she'd been counting. Which she hadn't. She just has a good memory for numbers is all.

"You have to stop reading so much romance novels. Seriously. I mean, you basically told him that you weren't interested. So, he's moving on. Draco is not a girl, you know - he has..." Ginny waves her hand in a careless manner. "Needs and whatnot."

Hermione winces at the thought. Needs... fulfilled by Miss Comptability. Ginny snorts.

"What? Did you expect him to stay at home sulking in his bed and crying while stuffing his face with ice-cream? Oh, wait - so silly of me : that's you, not Draco."

Hermione narrows her eyes. She's not amused. And she didn't cry, dammit!

Well, maybe once or twice.

The third time doesn't count - there was this awfully sad song at the radio and... Well, it would have made Bellatrix Lestrange cry, so it had nothing to do with a Draco-induced depression.

Ginny lifts a finger, preventing any protest.

"I don't want to hear your excuses. You two are... Listen." She takes Hermione's hands in hers but her death-grip is not really comforting. "Draco loves you. I promised not to tell, but you are really too painful to watch. I mean, did you really think that you and him working in the same building, on the same floor, was a coincidence?"

Hermione shrugs.

"Bad luck, you know..." She feels uncomfortable saying it, because she doesn't believe it anymore and they both know it : she likes Draco now, a lot too much from the look of things.

"It's not luck, Hermione. Do you follow my drift?"

Hermione doesn't, until all of a sudden, she does, and it doesn't make sense at all.

"Wait... You mean that our project together was some kind of setup?"

Ginny shakes her head and rubs her nose with the palm of her hand. Hermione is fairly sure it means that she's frustrated, but right now she'd rather annoy a very pregnant Ginny than to go back home where she knows she'll agonize over all this for the rest of the day. And probably all night too.

"Okay. I see. I'm going to spell it out for you. Draco has fancied you for who knows how long. And well he was getting quite desperate - I mean, I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but nobody thought you could be that... oblivious."

The pause hints that "oblivious" was not the word she really had in mind, but Hermione doesn't care. Nobody? Were they all in on this?

"Yes", Ginny says.

"What?"

"We were all aware of his feelings. I mean, he hasn't exactly been discreet about it."

Hermione thinks about that day, two months ago, in the elevator.

Looking good today, Granger.

Merlin, how stupid could she be?

"So, let's say that you seeing each other a lot more wasn't exactly a... coincidence."

She cheerfully gets up.

"So, now that we cleared this up, you just pay him a visit and settle the matter. I'm calling dibs on maid of honor and godmother of your first child because you would never have made it without me. Now go!"

She smiles hopefully. Hermione sometimes thinks that getting The Boy Who Lived made lasting damage on Ginny, like making her believe that everything in life is so easy.

"What if there's a girl with him?"

Ginny sighs and lets her happy-go-lucky contenance drop.

"Send him an owl to warn him before coming? Give him twenty minutes - he should have the time to dismiss the girl and put his clothes back on."

Hermione wonders if Ginny is doing it on purpose or if the wrong words come naturally to her. She wouldn't be surprised either way.

"You're aware that invitation cards don't count if you send them yourself."

Ginny throws her hands over her head.

"Then, ask him out. Are you that hopeless?"

"No, and yes."

"Why not? He asked you out before - you had dinner last month : you just have to say that you're returning the favor."

"It was between colleagues, to discuss a project. We're not working together anymore", Hermione protests.

She huffs as Ginny doesn't even bother to hide her sniggers.

"Only in your head, deary. It was a date through and through and it would really do you good to admit it once and for all. You doubt so much of well everything that I'm surprised you still can sleep at night. How your brain doesn't just fry is a mystery."

"Maybe it did - that would explain so much", Hermione says between her teeth. "So, what do I do?"

Ginny pats her on the back and shakes her head.

"You're both utterly pathetic, you know."

"Draco too?" Hermione asks, hopeful.

"Yeah. I mean, he planned the whole "seducing you" business like it was some kind of evil mater plan, and in the end, not only didn't he get you, but he didn't even succeed in making his point across. He could just have told you, but noooo, Mr Malfoy had to make it all difficult and complicated because of some kind of pride issue."

Hermione has to agree whole-heartedly at that. It's all his fault anyway for being so damn confusing. Her pride is not an issue - it was brutally murdered a long time ago. Right now, she's just trying not to drown in melted ice-cream in her sleep.

"Obviously, he overestimated your intelligence."

Hermione doesn't agree anymore.

"I don't get it, Hermione. How can you have such a brilliant mind and be so idiotic when it comes to relationships? I mean, it's no big deal..."

Hermione gets up, indignant. Ginny doesn't know anything about relationships : she's been in love with the same person since she was like nine. Then she just sat down and waited while he was planning the whole "Killing Voldemort" thingy. After that, all she had to do was to chose her bridesmaids dresses. How pathetic is that?

"No big deal? she screeches, refraining from grabbing her pregnant friend by her shoulders to shake her. Violently. "Ginny, I am a spinster : I'm twenty-three and I never had a proper boyfriend before. I'm twenty-three! I mean, I'm desperate : in two years, I'll probably be begging Goyle to marry me!"

Ginny nods, patting her knees confortingly (and patronizingly, Hermione thinks, but she has no proof and she needs the comfort, so she keeps her mouth shut).

"You better go see Malfoy now, then."

Hermione agrees and stands up determinedly before sitting down again. Ginny sighs loudly.

"What is it again?"

Hermione takes one of the new Potter-to-be's plushies and hugs it to her chest. Ginny looks at her, warily.

"What if he doesn't like me anymore?"

Ginny buries her face in her hands and tries hard not to break down.

***

It's a dreadful idea.

After debating over it for what felt like hours (and actually, maybe it was ), Hermione grudgingly admitted that going to see Malfoy in his office wouldn't be so bad. After all, as promiscuous as he was, he wasn't stupid enough to have it off with one of his girlfriends at work. And well... Hermione privately thought that if she chickened out, she could always think of a work-related excuse for disturbing him.

She nods to herself, smiling nervously at a girl whose name she can't remember.

Merlin, this corridor never seemed that long before. But then again, Hermione never felt like she was walking to her death while trekking over it before either.

His door is closed. She stops before it, thinking that maybe her luck finally came back and made Malfoy go somewhere else for the day. Or the week. She isn't picky.

She takes a step back, having half a mind to just come back to her office and floo Ginny in the evening to tell her that her conversation with Draco just wasn't meant to be. But then she would be a coward and she's a Gryffindor, so she raises her hand. She briefly presses her other hand against her stomach - it's making somersaults, and it's like OWLS all over again. You know, that feeling that you're doing what you have to do, but you'd really rather not be doing it. She lightly raps at the door and forces herself to breathe.

What's the worse that could happen, anyway?

She winces - okay, so that's not a good line of thinking right now. No answer. She heaves a sigh of relief and lowers her hand, already finding reasons why she couldn't go back here before... hm... Sunday?

Oh, no, they don't work on sunday. How silly of her...

Feeling incredibly relieved, she turns on her heels and-

"Come in!"

She freezes.

"I said : come in!"

Impatience has crept into the voice - Draco's voice - and Hermione knows that if she doesn't get in now, she'll never dare to come back. She takes a deep breath, almost chokes on it, and opens the door.

He's there, working at his desk. He glances up when she comes in and a startled look crosses his face before it's completely blank again. Hermione smothers the need to shuffle with unease at his stare.

To say that he doesn't seem pleased to see her would be the understatement of the century.

"Granger", he says. "What's bringing you here? Whatever happened to you, I swear it wasn't me", he immediatly adds.

The worse is that he seems to be only half-joking and somehow, Hermione understands where he's coming from.

Merlin, she's been such an idiotic hag!

She really can't blame him for not liking her anymore. It's a wonder he did in the first place. And she was stupid enough to ruin it.

She strangles the want to sit down and cry in misery and bestows a very unconvincing smile on him.

"Malfoy", she says in her friendlier tone.

Calling him by his surname feels wrong, but she doesn't dare say his name. All of a sudden, she feels really small and intimidated - like a student in front of a teacher's desk. And it's a slap in the face to realize that she forgot just how much he used to scare her before.

She wonders if she should sit down, but he clearly doesn't want her to drag this out longer than necessary - there is a barely veiled hostility in his body language which doesn't bode well for her "coming in peace" expedition.

"So, what do you want?"

Malfoy narrows his eyes until they are nothing but steely slits. Hermione gulps, trying to stop her hands from shaking. She can begin their soon-to-be civil conversation with anything. Except for Ginny, of course, which she promised not to mention.

"I talked to Ginny", she blurts.

Malfoy's eyes widen momentarily and she resists the impulse to slap her own forehead.

"Oh. Did you now?"

Is that nervosity in his voice? Hermione suddenly feels gleeful. No more of this Pathetic Hermione nonsense - if she plays her cards right, she can leave this room with a date and her newly resurrected pride all in one piece.

Maybe. If she doesn't die of nerves before.

"Yes", she says, stalling.

"Sit down", he suddenly says, pointing to the chair in front of him. She doesn't even think about protesting before nodding obediently and complying.

He lets her fidget for a good forty seconds before lifting an eyebrow, one corner of his mouth quirking slightly.

"And?"

Hermione's mind never felt so utterly blank before. Her mind scrambles for something relevant to say, but finally settles on opening her mouth and hoping for the best.

"She said you fancied me."

Darn. She did it again, didn't she? Draco blinks, taken aback by her bluntness. She almost apologizes but decides to keep her mouth shut - she already knows she'll make things worse if she tries to speak again.

"That little..."

Draco violently massages his wrists, his face contorted in an expression she hasn't seen on his face since the war. So bitter and angry... At that very second, he almost reminds her of Snape. She shudders.

"And? Did you come to rub it in my face? Because I think your answer to my... feelings was clear enough."

"What answer?" Hermione asks, before she can remember to just-shut-up-Hermione-before-he-hexes-you.

Suddenly, he doesn't seem so mad anymore. More like appraising, and Hermione tenses under his scrutiny.

"Why are you here?" he asks again.

"Ginny said we have to settle this", she says, not caring that she's using her friend as some kind of aliby.

Some Gryffindor, she is.

Draco raps his knuckles on the table, looking bemused. There's something in his eyes that she knows she can't trust, but she's too busy being relieved to be really worried.

"Settle what?"

"She thinks I hurt your feelings and that you like me, but I don't believe her and I really didn't want to talk to you about it. But then, she said that if she heard me say your name just one more time I would never get to see my godson and that would be awful because you see, I will never have children since apparently, you liked me and I didn't even notice. So now, you're with what's-her-name from comptability and I have to apologize to you or something so Ginny won't be mad at me anymore. It's either that or dying all alone with my cat. Please?"

Oh...

Hermione clamps her mouth shut. That. Was. A. Disaster.

Humiliation, fancy seeing you here...

Hermione eyes the window, wondering if she can jump before Draco recovers from her psychotic blabbling.

"Wait. You didn't know?" he asks after a very awkward pause. "You... You didn't know?" he repeats, radiating disbelief.

"Er... What?"

"You didn't even get that I fancied you? I mean, do you have any idea how hard it was to convince Peterson to make us work together?"

Uh?

"And to get that fucking job in the first place."

He's gesticulating madly, now, and Hermione thinks she never saw him move that much before, not even when Quidditch was involved. For some reason, she's quite pleased with herself.

"I didn't even have the good NEWTS for it - I had to make friends with Potter of all people to get it. And it has been a bloody nightmare : he made me come to all the games of Puddlemere United. Did you know their mascot is a badger? A badger, for Salazar's sake - he practically made me cheer for Hufflepuff! And you didn't know I fancied you? Are you blind and deaf?"

Hermione just nods dumbly, before shaking her head. Ginny was right : Draco was awfully complicated. She couldn't help but feel a surge of hot pleasure at the thought all of everything he did, seemingly just to go out with her.

"I don't get it", she says after a silence. "If you liked me, why didn't you just... I don't know... give me flowers and ask me out?"

He gives her an exasperated look.

"I did", he answers, wryly.

She opens her mouth to protest and closes it again, because he's right, he did.

"But you said it was for work, and that the flowers were customary."

He rakes his fingers through his hair and sighs.

"Well of course I said that. It would have send you running if I had told you I was courting you.

Courting.

"Besides, I kissed you - to be more straightforward, I would have needed a bed."

She lets her head fall against his desk with a tud.

"Oh God, I can't believe I let you go."

A nanosecond later, she just couldn't believe she just said that. She's never lifting her head from this desk. Never. Not now that Embarrassment has joined Humiliation to follow her everywhere.

"Wait... Do you mean that you're interested, now?"

Hermione forgets her embarrassment and looks at him.

"Are you joking? Of course I'm interested! You've been nice, you gave me coffee, you took this bloody job to get closer to me and you read."

Draco blinks, flabbergasted.

"So, that's it? You want me?"

Hermione nods with a tentative smile. It's too easy - there must be something horribly wrong somewhere.

"Yeah..."

She lets it hang in the air, hoping he will take over and right the whole situation, but he goes on watching her in silence even if he doesn't seem mad or nervous anymore. Actually, there is a slight smirk on his lips and she's fairly sure he's making fun of her. It's wonderfully familiar.

"Are you... are you going to break up with Ingrid, then?" she asks, not liking the way her voice wavered on the woman's name.

Draco sniffs.

"It's a little late for that, I..."

Hermione feels all the blood drains from her face. Too late?

"A little late?" she cuts him. "Don't tell me: she's pregnant? You got drunk and you married her yesterday at Las Vegas? No?" She shakes her head. "You don't like frizzy spinsters anymore, do you? I knew it." He opens his mouth, but Hermione cuts him off, waving her hands widly. "It's not your fault, really :my bad luck is so impressive that I think I'm probably cursed. I should go have that checked in St Mungo's or..."

" Hermione!"

She is blabbling again, isn't she? She sends him what she hopes is an apologetic look.

"I was just going to say that I don't see her anymore - our dinner was a disaster. And I still like freezy spinster", he adds after a pause. "I'm sorry, I should know that one's have to be more to the point when talking to you - it won't happen again", he says with a chuckle.

Hermion wonders if he's implying that she's kind of thick. But it doesn't really matter right now.

"So what are we going to do now?" she asks, frowning.

He takes her hand in his and grins.

"I like you and you like me, okay? So, now, we're going out. Is it straightforward enough for you or should I kiss you just to make sure?"

She feels a small smile tugging at her lips. And oh how he will pay for belittling her. But later - vengeance is only effective when the other person doesn't expect it anymore.

"I think I get it, now. You should kiss me, though, just to make sure."

And this time it's a real kiss with no ambiguity, and afterwards she just keeps her mouth shut. It wouldn't do to spoil the moment.

"And I promise that when I'll ask you to marry me, I'll do it in writing and in triplicate", he says after kissing the tip of her nose.

She smiles blissfully.

The jerk would eat his words - but, not before the third date or so. She wouldn't want to scare him. Yet.

XXX

Two years later, Ginny buys her a very ugly shapeless dress with purple roses and sickly green ribbons. Ron calls her Fatty and Draco makes fun of her mood-swings.

It's perfect.

Because she's not awkward, she's not bushy-haired, she's not a teenager, and she's certainly not a spinster anymore.

And everything is fine, even if she still rummages through Draco's stuffs from time to time, and sometimes drops by at his office without warning just to make sure. Anyway, Draco tells anyone who'll listen that her paranoia is her more endearing trait - he claims he married her because he likes to laugh at her and that she would not be half as amusing without it.

Harry says they're both mad. And maybe they are, but now mornings smell less like melted ice-cream and more like happiness and Hermione wouldn't have it any other way.

The end

A/N : Useless blabbling - feel free not to read XD

Merlin, that was the longest chapter I've ever wrote. So, this is the end... I hope you aren't disappointed with the way it turned out. ^^

Anyway, writting this has been a pleasure (and a wonderful distraction during boring presentations) and I'm very grateful for every review I got. I actually learned quite a lot from the whole thing (who knew you had to write "What?" and not "What ?" - well, I didn't ^^'). Obviously I am a better writer in french, but I think I actually managed to improve my english a little through this (which promotes fanfiction-writing to the rank of "useful hobby").

So thanks for reading this, thanks a lot for reviewing and until the next story...

Saralynfara