Safe In My Arms
Shadow of an Echo
A/N Thank you so much!
You guys are amazing and wonderful! I never expected so much support and care. It's not been easy, but I'm accepting things, and I'm getting answers. All those little problems I've had, with my memory, my speech, even my typing. I'm not insane. I'm not stupid, or an idiot. They all had a reason. Even with meds these problems might not be fixed, they might even get worse, especially memory and focus, but at least now I know why and that is worth all the worry and doubt.
I am updating this fanfiction because it is by far my fluffiest and easiest to write story. I love writing, it is fun and relaxing. When I have a few minutes I try to work on something for a little while. You are liable to see more updates for this one than my others, but it still may not be often. Still thank you so much for your patience and support, it means so much, you guys care so much, even though you have never met me. You only know me through the words I write, and still, wow, I love all of you!
Chapter Thirteen
Comin' Home
"Give me your hand," The command came swiftly, Ulquiorra felt his hand grabbed, and suddenly it was resting over Starrk's stomach. The sash undone, heavy cloth pushed aside, his bare skin with its softened hierro exposed, and even though it was slight, there was a tiny movement under his hand.
A surprised and pleased smile crossed his face, glad they were alone so he could freely express the emotion crashing threw him at the stirring. "They are getting strong."
"I wasn't sure if you could feel it yet, but had to try," Starrk admitted, it had been a few weeks since he had first felt movement, and it had gotten more pronounced by the day. This was the strongest he had felt, and he knew Ulquiorra had been waiting patiently to feel them.
"This is the first chance I have gotten to feel the young move so clearly. As Hollow it is harder to feel from the outside." Ulquiorra admitted, feeling the light brush against his palm again. "A few more months and they will be here."
"Yes, I'm nervous, but I can't wait to see them. My first children. No matter what happens, I won't be alone anymore." Starrk responded, reclining back on the mound of pillows that made up his bed, not doing anything to move the Alpha's hand away. He liked the closeness of his Alphas, whenever possible, he enjoyed their touches and words, because it reminded him of their presence. Grimmjow had been making an increasing number of visits to his rooms lately, and Starrk still wandered down to see Ichigo in the afternoons spending time with his other Alpha there too. Everyone was doing their best to make the coming transition from having two Alphas to one a little easier on him.
"You wouldn't have been left alone whether you had this litter or not." Ulquiorra insisted, "You are one of us, part of our family, we won't give that up. If any of us would have been left behind it would have been me. Look how I treated everyone."
Starrk interrupted Ulquiorra's word's with a gentle kiss, preventing him from commenting further. "None of us were saints, and we were influenced so that our darkest sides came to the forefront. Do you have any idea how many I have killed? Maybe not intentionally, but they are still dead on my account. I have no need for battle to increase my death count, I am the most lethal of any Espada, and that was before Aizen. With the death toll I have accrued why would I be accepted and you turned away? At least your reticence and temper had an outside catalyst." Starrk pointed out, he couldn't understand why Ulquiorra kept beating himself up about that. He was probably the most sensitive of all the Espada, and that was how Aizen got to him so thoroughly. "Do you really think I would have chosen you at all if I didn't think you would make a good mate and father? I chose both of you for the same reasons. You are strong and capable, willing to protect when needed, and know how to handle yourselves when there is trouble. Never forget I did have a choice, I could have only mated one or neither of you, but I chose to give you a chance."
Another stirring in his stomach, reminding them of the reason for their conversation, "I am grateful for this chance." Ulquiorra responded quietly.
"I know," A simple reply, but that was all that was needed.
"Are you feeling up to moving around a bit?" The request was unexpected with the closeness they had been sharing.
He wasn't totally against the idea, but wasn't in a rush to move. "I guess so, but why?"
"I think Grimmjow would like to feel them too, he missed out with Ichigo." Ulquiorra explained.
That caused Starrk to smile and rearrange his clothing, "That should be fine." He was proud of Ulquiorra, figuring the Alpha would get greedy and want to keep this from Grimmjow as long as possible.
They found Grimmjow in Ichigo's room. Ichigo was stretched out on the couch feeding Tsume, while Grimmjow was pacing with a newly awake Hikari in his arms. Amon was sleeping safely cushioned on the bed, he was sprawled out taking up a lot of room.
"Hey, what brings you two here? Pull up a chair, nap time is just about over for these guys we shouldn't have to be quiet for too much longer." Grimmjow invited, voice still soft to avoid waking Amon prematurely.
Sliding into seats at the table, Starrk spoke up, "There is something I think you might be interested in."
"Oh, what's going on? Everything okay?" There was concern in his voice, and Ichigo sat up with a concerned frown on his face too.
"Everything is fine, the twins are moving, they are strong enough for you to feel if you would like." Starrk confessed, unconsciously moving a hand down to his bump.
Grimmjow walked over to the table, "Ulquiorra, could you take her for a bit?" He requested, offering his daughter to the other Alpha in a deliberate show of gratitude for him to share this special thing with him too. He was under no illusions Ulquiorra had at least been tempted to keep this between the two of them for a bit longer.
Ulquiorra took Hikari, the little girl inspecting him curiously with her now completely golden eyes. He had been around the babies enough his presence didn't frighten them but they were still unfamiliar enough to be curious.
Grimmjow knelt down next to Starrk, the Beta moving his clothes to give him freer access. It took a few minutes, they weren't as active as they had been when Starrk had shown Ulquiorra, but the wide grin splitting Grimmjow's face proved when they did stir. "They are going to be strong, like you." The words were soft, especially coming from Grimmjow, but it meant a lot. Grimmjow didn't stop the warm moment there, instead he leaned up and kissed him, he had always been the more demonstrative in his affections between the two Alphas.
Ulquiorra glanced over to the couch and saw the warm smile on Ichigo's face, ever since the visit from his family and the private conversation with his father, Ichigo had been smiling much easier. Ichigo liked seeing the softer side of his mate, these moments reaffirmed just how good a mate Grimmjow was, and how good a father he was to his children, even with Grimmjow's normal disruptive and often boisterous temperament. It didn't matter that this moment was with Starrk, the other Beta needed that softer side too, and Ichigo was not going to take that away from him. In fact, he was curious about feeling the twins himself, but wasn't about to push Grimmjow out of the way until he was ready.
The kiss wasn't a long one, there was too many others in the room for it to lead to something more at the moment. The two in question were soon able to focus on the others in the room again. This was a good thing, because Hikari was getting fussy, and Ulquiorra was at a loss, nothing he was doing seemed to be working. The soft chuckle from the couch made him glare at the Visored Beta, "What am I doing wrong?"
"You aren't doing anything wrong, but you won't be able to calm her down, she's hungry." Ichigo took pity and answered quickly without dragging out the situation for amusement. "Here, sit by me and you can take Tsume while I take care of her, Amon should be waking up hungry soon too so we shouldn't waste a lot of time."
The exchange went smoothly, Ulquiorra privately glad he had helped out before and knew a bit about what he was doing, but he was still a little baffled. "How did you know she was hungry and not something else?"
"Her cry is different," Ichigo explained, settling the baby against his chest, she calmed down instantly and started to feed. "It took me a few weeks, but I learned to tell the difference between when they are tired, bored, hungry, or in pain. You will too, it comes naturally."
At the hesitant look and the obvious reluctance to speak, Ichigo filled him in without being prompted. "Even Grimmjow can tell the basics, and he's an idiot."
"Hey, I heard that!" Grimmjow protested.
Ichigo laughed outright, Hikari whining a bit at the vibration in his chest disturbing her meal. "I didn't hear you denying it."
"You can't protest that one Grimm," Starrk added, a smirk dancing on his lips at the look of 'not you too' on the blue haired Alpha's face. "What? You didn't think I was just going to sit back and let Ichigo do all the teasing did you?"
"I could hope." Grimmjow muttered.
"Where is the fun in that?" He inquired with a raised eyebrow and teasing grin, letting the others see a hint of the mischievous side that created Lilynette from the otherwise calm Espada.
Ichigo looked back and forth between Starrk and Grimmjow, and asked, "How much different is he going to act when he and Lilynette recombine for the last few months?"
The grin switched focus to him, "Just wait and see."
"Looking forward to it," Ichigo assured, before he was interrupted by a cry of discontent from the bed, his son had woken up. "Hikari isn't done yet, see what you can do for him Grimmjow." He ordered.
With how he was sitting, it was easy for Ichigo to watch Ulquiorra's face while Grimmjow held and rocked Amon. His youngest son didn't completely calm, and he wouldn't until he got his food, but the Alpha's patience with the crying jag was a little surprising. The look Ichigo was seeing in green eyes wasn't jealousy it was worry, and it took a bit for the oddity to sink in. "Why are you so worried?"
"It's nothing," Ulquiorra brushed the question off, tightening his hold on Tsume a bit.
Ichigo shook his head in doubt, "Whatever you say," He teased, but added lowly. "Look, if you want to talk when the big oaf isn't in the room, you're welcome to stay awhile. It's his turn to hunt."
A slight nod, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to talk to Ichigo, and it would be easier to admit if Grimmjow wasn't around to give him grief about it.
"Grimmjow, just stop, let me give it a try," There was laughter in Starrk's voice as he stood and took the baby from the Alpha. A carefully controlled spike of spiritual pressure, not unlike the kind used to help Nel transform, and Amon calmed right down. "How many kids do you have again?" He teased.
Stiffened shoulders and a grumbled reply was Grimmjow's response while Ichigo burst out laughing. Realizing there was no way Starrk could have understood the Alpha's words, Ichigo translated. "That wouldn't have worked for him, the babies are getting pickier as they get older, and they prefer Beta energy. Especially Amon, he will only accept energy coming from a Beta, no matter how hungry he is. The others will calm down if the Alpha energy is from Grimmjow, but Kensei tried with Tsume last time he was here, and it failed miserably. Amon won't even take Grimmjow's."
"Amon is an Alpha." Ulquiorra realized. "The only reason a child would reject the energy of the Alpha that sired them is if the child is an Alpha themselves. It is normal for children to prefer a Beta's power but to reject Alpha energy completely; you can almost guarantee that one is an Alpha too."
That didn't add up to Ichigo, "But when he was first born he accepted Grimmjow's power just fine?"
"That's different, the first few weeks are when the children are the most vulnerable, and have to grow the fastest. They need to absorb as much energy as they can from as many sources as possible, so they will absorb power from both Beta and Alpha no matter personal status until they start hitting the stage where it is safe for them to develop separately." Ulquiorra explained.
It was at this point Ichigo noticed an oddity. He looked back and forth between the two Alphas. "Why is it that Grimmjow has more children, but Ulquiorra knows more about it?"
"That is a question I can answer," Grimmjow insisted, "I care more about the how than the why. As long as my mate and children are healthy and strong, why they are that way doesn't mean as much to me.
"I like understanding." Ulquiorra added. "He jumps into things. It works out most of the time, but sometimes it doesn't. I feel like the more I know, the better I will be able to react if something happens."
Ichigo looked at Starrk, who was standing while rocking Amon slowly, "You're lucky to have two very good Alphas right here. Tell you what, I'll make you a deal if Grimmjow starts getting too spontaneous I'll rein him in, and if Ulquiorra doesn't get his nose out of a book every once and awhile you kick him into shape, alright?"
A twitch of a smile, "Deal."
"Don't we get a say?" Grimmjow asked in a cross between exasperation and amusement.
"No," The two Betas said at the same time.
"Alright, she's done. You can bring him over, and I'll trade you babies if you'd like." Ichigo offered when he felt his daughter finish up.
Starrk settled between Ichigo and Ulquiorra on the long couch, switching out children with the other Beta. He situated Hikari on his lap so the little girl was sitting up and resting against his arm, she preferred being about to look around. They could hold themselves up sitting now, but still toppled over sideways if they reached for something too quickly. Another two or three weeks and they would be standing as long as they were holding onto something with how quickly they were growing.
"Well do you think the three of you can handle things here with all of them awake again?" Grimmjow asked.
"Oh please Grimmjow, stop preening, it's your turn to hunt. Now get to it, we'll be fine." With that, Ichigo booted his mate out of the room.
"You are good at dealing with him," Starrk observed.
Ichigo shrugged, careful not to disturb Amon, "Practice."
Looking over to where Ulquiorra was holding Tsume so he could see and play a bit with his sister, "Now that he is gone, what had you worried earlier?" He asked.
"What makes you think I was worried?" He hedged again, not sure about talking about it, even though he knew he probably should.
Starrk spoke calmly, "Just tell him. Quit worrying so much, Ichigo has to deal with Grimmjow all day every day, if he can domesticate the person that attempted to kill him multiple times, I think he will be just fine listening to you."
"He didn't panic. Even though he knew there was no way Amon would calm down with just him. He stayed calm and did his best. As much as he says he doesn't know much about why his mates and children are healthy and strong he does know quite a bit about how to keep them that way. Hikari was only fussing for a few moments and I got worried I had done something wrong. As grateful as I am for the chance at young, he would be the better Alpha." If anyone else had said that, their voice would be drowning in self-pity, but Ulquiorra merely sounded like he was stating a fact. Well until Starrk's hand connected with the back of his skull not protected by his helmet like mask fragment.
Ichigo beat him to the spoken reply though, "I thought so. You think I knew what I was doing when these guys were first born? I had to learn as I went, and I still don't know a lot of the time. Just the fact you are worried about it says you will make a good father, because it shows you do care."
"They may not be mine," He reminded, refusing to get his hopes up, but not able to stop himself from glancing at the swell partially hidden behind Hikari.
"This litter, yes, but there will be others." Starrk spoke quietly, not missing where Ulquiorra's eyes had strayed. "You've been good to me, whether or not this set is yours does not mean I will not carry more later. This has been a pleasant time so far, nothing has dissuaded me from having future litters."
"You've been helping me too, if you approached me, I can't say I would turn you down." Ichigo admitted.
"But you and Grimmjow have been getting along well." Ulquiorra pointed out.
"Yes," Ichigo agreed. "And he has been a good Alpha, but so are you. I have given him three strong children already, and it's not as if we have short lives. Especially if this litter of Starrk's is also his then I will definitely give you a litter too."
"If this litter is yours, I will mate Grimmjow next time. You have both supported me through this very well. From the beginning I intended to see how you reacted to it, and if it turned out like this, whoever was not the sire would be chosen for the next litter." Starrk admitted quietly.
Ulquiorra looked back and forth between the two Betas, "No matter what happens, I will have children again?"
"Yes." Ichigo agreed, while Starrk nodded. Giving them a measuring look, and the spacious rooms he was given, a crazy idea began to form in Ichigo's mind.
Starrk spotted it first. "What are you plotting?"
"Just an odd thought. There is plenty of room down here, and it gets lonely with all of us spread out across the compound. Szayel is stuck by himself in his lab, you two are up in your tower, Rose is using Luppi's old room, and the girls run around like maniacs." He stalled out there, the pieces still falling into place.
"I think I know where you are going with this." Starrk realized.
"You said before when bands form in Heuco Mundo, Betas and children stick together while the Alphas watch over them, you and Szayel already spend time here helping me with the babies. There is enough room for you, Szayel, and me to sleep with the babies. We can bring the cushions down from your tower for Nel and Lilynette if they want. Grimmjow and Ulquiorra can both be here for all three of us during the day, Rose too. It would give you practice for your litter, me a little extra help, and Szayel some company." Ichigo laid out.
Ulquiorra had something to add, "There would be fewer stairs for when you're further along," He pointed out to the expecting Beta.
"I wouldn't mind, better than being lonely, it's probably the same for Szayel." Starrk admitted. That arrangement was one that hadn't occurred to him, but it would solve a lot of little issues, and it would be easier on him when he was bigger. "He shouldn't be alone as much as he is. He's strong, but he is taking on a lot of risk with this batch."
"I thought the same thing. I helped him get this way, I want to help him get through it." Ichigo agreed, before looking at Ulquiorra. "Szayel is missing an Alpha, with Nnoitra gone, he won't mind if you step in for him now and again. We do what we can, but I doubt a Beta is enough to someone like him used to having an Alpha around while carrying."
"Grimmjow is more like Nnoitra was." Ulquiorra pointed out.
"That isn't what Szayel needs. He is gone, Aizen stole him, and now he needs someone a little softer for the time being. At least until he has the child and his grief runs its course." Starrk dissected. "He isn't that difficult to figure out once you get to know him."
"He should be coming around sometime soon, his usual time is after they wake up from their nap and have been fed. I hope we can all get something out of this idea and I'm not being selfish." Ichigo was showing a bit of uncertainty now that he realized that he was asking the established Arrancar to uproot their lives to fit his plan.
"No, don't think like that. You have a good idea Ichigo." Starrk stopped him in his tracks. "If we didn't think it was, we could have just said no. I have never had someone offer to share their living space with me, so it didn't occur to me that it might be an option. It would go a long way toward calming my own worries if I had more contact with these children before mine come. It would be nice to be closer to both Alphas too."
"You are allowing an Alpha you have never mated long term access to your children, that is a great honor, I'm not sure you realize just how much a one." Ulquiorra pressed.
The babies started getting agitated with being held, squirming around, "Alright, we'll let you down, just a second." Ichigo soothed, rubbing Amon's back as he rose from the couch and collected their blanket and spread it out on the ground one handed in front of the couch so they could watch the kids play, setting Amon down, before scattering their toys around him. He stole back his children from the other two, and set them next to their brother. He was just settling down next to them, when a knock came to his door, and Szayel came in.
"Hey, I was just saying you would be here soon." Ichigo greeted with a smile.
"Oh and why was I a topic of discussion?" He asked curiously, coming and sitting on the blanket with the children too, ignoring the empty spot on the couch. It wouldn't be long before it would be hard to get up from the floor; he wanted to enjoy time with them while he still could.
"What would you say to a couple of Betas banding together so the Alphas could keep a better eye on us?" Ichigo offered.
Szayel stiffened in shock for a moment before relaxing, "I thought we already were."
"More than we have been. Come on, you are always by yourself, that can't be good. It would be better if you at least had one of us with you in your lab during the day, but you should stay here with us at night, and when you are feeling tired and drained, Starrk will be here too. Ulquiorra and Grimmjow also during the day, and I wouldn't put it past them to take turns passing out on the couch if we are all in one spot." Ichigo explained deeper.
A hand reached out to smooth down Hikari's hair, "Are you sure?"
"Szayel, yes, I'm sure. This place is too big, and there are too few of us. Come stay, I would feel a lot better knowing you are close by, both of you." Ichigo tilted his head to include Starrk in the statement.
"Then yes, I'll come stay at night, and when I'm not feeling my best." Szayel agreed.
"Thank you." Ichigo replied with a nearly blinding smile, glad the most vulnerable had agreed.
Realizing someone would need to go inform Grimmjow, Ulquiorra spoke up. "If I went and explained this to Grimmjow, would you three be alright?"
"Oh, thanks Ulquiorra, I think we should be alright," Ichigo allowed, the others nodding with him, and with a glance over his shoulder as the Beta talked out the details, Ulquiorra left to track down the Alpha.
It didn't take long to find Grimmjow, the developing situation a little more important than the hunting trip. The two of them could take care of that easily enough once they had this hammered out.
Grimmjow listened to the recap carefully, and his rueful comment, "I thought it would be Szayel, he's had the most litters."
"He's been hurt too much recently to take up the roll, and Starrk would rather relax and let Ichigo take care of it. I don't think Ichigo notices what he is doing, he is simply doing what he always has, taking care of those around him." Ulquiorra assessed.
"I bet Shiro knows they are the dominant Beta now. Moving the rest onto his territory is going to make that even more obvious. He won't tell Ichigo though, he is going to wait for him to figure it out on his own like usual." Grimmjow realized.
Ulquiorra debated for a moment. "Should we tell him?"
"What, that if he gave an order the others would follow him just as quickly as they would us? No, not yet anyway, better to wait until he's lived with them awhile and has seen more of it." Grimmjow was sure they needed to wait. This was something Ichigo wasn't quite ready to deal with yet. There was a hierarchy in a Hollow band, there had to be or they would never get so many violent creatures to share such close quarters. That was easy to understand. The hard part would come with the realization the others had put him at the top. They respected him, liked him, and he had brought in three strong healthy children, there was no way he could wiggle out of the position even if he wasn't so powerful.
"Is it just me, or is it going to be interesting when he finds out?" Ulquiorra realized.
"The fireworks are going to be amazing." Grimmjow agreed.
"I hope I am still here to see it." Ulquiorra stated.