"Thanks," Connie said, accepting a glass of water from Steven with both hands. He had offered lemonade at first before remembering her new Gem-compliant diet. Even water with a lemon wedge might be too much for her distraught passenger to handle in better circumstances, which theirs were not.
Steven set his own glass down on the deck table and sat in the chair next to hers. The afternoon sun had sank behind the lighthouse, making a shadow of the beach, but it was still warm and bright outside. Waves lapped gently at the shore, a pleasant thrum to fill the unbearable silence that haunted Connie's thoughts. Hours ago she would have given almost anything to quiet the cantankerous Gem. Now Jade's silence made her worry.
"Is she still, um, processing?" Steven asked after a few minutes.
Connie nodded, sighing. The dark web of feelings inside of her was hard to separate from her own concern, but she supposed she would have plenty of practice deciphering Jade's moods from her own unless Peridot came up with some kind of miraculous breakthrough.
"I guess it's a lot to take in," Steven said. "I mean, I went for years without knowing anything about the Gem war. They still don't like to talk about it much either, and they've had thousands of years." The corner of his mouth twitched in an absent grimace. "Something that happened so long ago is still messing them up, and now it's doing it to Jade too."
She drummed the rim of her glass with her fingertip, watching the water ripple with each tap. "I didn't make things any better. When she woke up, I was pretty sure right away whose side she was on, and that she didn't know how long she had been gone. I told myself that saving all the details for later so you and the Gems could explain would help, but really, I think it was just an excuse to not deal with it."
Steven smiled weakly. "Can't say I blame you," he said.
Connie's mouth cracked with thirst, but she sipped at the water, remembering her deal with Jade about her bodily necessities. "No," she said, lowering the glass. "I did it to make it easier for me, not for her." A silent laugh shook her shoulders. "I finally understand all of those terrible mentor characters from fantasy novels. They never tell the hero anything because it's too hard for them, which always makes it worse for the hero later on."
Smirking, Steven asked, "Does that make Jade the Lisa to your Plinkman?"
The song she had played for Jade drifted through Connie's head, this time in its original arrangement as an elegy. "I don't think this story has any heroes," she said.
"Well, I think it does," Steven said firmly. "In fact, I think it has two. And I can be the plucky sidekick."
A smile threatened Connie's somber expression. "Plucky sidekick?" she echoed teasingly.
Puffing out his chest, Steven bragged, "I have a can-do attitude and my own ukulele for traveling music. Both are a must for any sidekick. Maybe I'll make a theme song for you two."
"I'm sure I'd love it," Connie said, and meant it. "And if Jade didn't, well, she wouldn't say anything."
The weak joke fizzled, tamping down on their smiles. Connie absently tapped Jade's gemstone through her shirt. Its rounded face felt smooth through the fabric. The green stone had survived entire chapters of history before her family line had ever existed. A week felt like a long time to Connie. A month was an interminable wait. A year was so far into the future that she could hardly imagine what life would be like by then. But five thousand years? That kind of time passed only in the abstract. It didn't feel real. But it was terrifyingly, awfully real to Jade.
"Can I ask you something?" Steven said suddenly.
The question jolted Connie out of her reverie. "Huh? Oh, sure."
His brow furrowed as he looked down. He kicked his sandaled feet idly, and said, "You don't have to answer if you don't want to. I'd understand."
"I can't answer if you don't ask," Connie prodded gently.
Steven's smile didn't rise at the bait. Hands twisting in his lap, he said, "Wh-What does it feel like? Having her inside you. Awake, I mean. What's it like?"
Connie considered for a moment, letting her fingertips drop from the stone. "Sometimes it's like reading something silently to yourself. Like you're sounding out words on a page, only there's no book or page. It's someone else doing it for you, or at you," she said. "Other times, it's harder to understand. It might be a feeling or a reaction to something I didn't expect. She made her feelings about food pretty clear, but I can't be sure about other things. Now that we can talk, though, I hope it gets easier."
"But when you hear her, the voice in your head sounds like your own," Steven said. When she nodded, he bit his lip and continued, "And those feelings feel like yours too, even though they're Jade's. Your feelings, and her feelings… Your thoughts and her thoughts… They're same-y, sort of. Right?"
Connie frowned quizzically at his squirming. Then, as she drew a breath to ask, she caught sight of his hands worrying the hem of his pink shirt. His fingers ran the edge of the fabric, stretching and tugging at it. A piece of sunlight caught the gemstone where his navel would have been, making it flash for just an instant.
Suddenly she understood what he was asking, even though he couldn't bring himself to say the question directly. Smiling gently, Connie said, "It is, but it isn't. I can feel what Jade feels sometimes, but I know they're not my feelings because they don't match what I'm thinking, or because I'm feeling differently at the same time. And even though Jade's voice sounds like mine in my head, it's obvious which one of us is talking. She speaks like she's trying to be a thesaurus, and she doesn't understand human stuff very well." Her eyebrows rose in an apologetic expression. "Trust me, when you have someone else talking inside you, you know it."
Steven's expression wavered. He might have been relieved or disappointed, or perhaps both. But his hands lingered at his shirt's hem as he seemed to come to a decision. "Is it okay if I tell Jade something?" he said.
Reaching up, Connie undid the button on her shirt collar, exposing the top edge of the gemstone beneath the hollow of her throat. The sound of the ocean was her only reply as she listened for Jade's reaction. "I don't know if she's listening right now, but you can try," Connie told him. "She seems to see and hear everything anyway."
He climbed out of his chair to stand before her, hands clamped at the bottom of his shirt. "Jade? There's something you should know," Steven said. "I don't think the other Gems wanted me to tell you yet, or maybe not ever, but you deserve to know. Rose Quartz…well, she did survive the war."
Connie strained inwardly, but her thoughts rang hollow. She only heard the light breeze from the ocean brushing across the deck and stirring through her hair.
"It was her shield that saved Garnet and Pearl in the end," Steven continued, his eyes sinking to the deck. "She stayed here on Earth to protect it from the corrupted Gems and everything else the war left behind, until…until she met my dad. And then she gave up her physical form for me. To make me."
Lifting his shirt, Steven exposed the pink gem on his belly. It gleamed brightly, its edges crisp and perfect despite its long history.
They both waited in silence, Steven looking questioningly to Connie. She started to shake her head, but then she noticed that the wind was blowing harder. The umbrella in the deck table began to sway in its mounting, and Steven's hair spilled over his brow at the sudden gust. Connie could feel her own hair lifting in the wind as well as she squinted to watch Steven.
"I'm Rose Quartz's son. Her child, or offspring, I guess," Steven said, raising his voice above the wind as he settled his shirt back into place. "And I know things were really bad back when you knew her. I know we won't be friends at first. Maybe never. But I don't want us to fight either."
The wind changed again. Connie could see the shape of it in the loose sand as the air began to swirl around Steven. His empty chair slid in jerking, skittering little steps as the tiny windstorm's intensity grew, making the whole table rock as the umbrella jerked hard against the wind. But when Connie stood and started to cry out, Steven raised his hand and gave her a pleading look.
"Jade, Earth isn't the same place you knew before you woke up. The Crystal Gems aren't what they were before," Steven shouted into the tempest surrounding him. "We'll do whatever we can to help you and Connie. I promise."
Connie held her breath, gripping the arms of the chair as her hair whipped around her. The umbrella's post bent at the base, and the sand on the deck sprayed wildly at their feet, rattling against her shoes. A wordless, hopeless cry arose inside Connie, more a feeling than a sound, but it shook Connie in her seat.
Then, gradually, the wind began to ease. Its blowing softened into a limp breeze, and then stilled entirely, leaving the table's umbrella leaning drunkenly to one side and dropping the sand back to the decking. The mute wail inside Connie dwindled into her own background anxiety.
Looking at the ring of loose sand that had settled round them, Steven sighed and sagged back into his chair. "Well, she didn't say 'no,'" he said.
Connie slumped in relief. A brief smirk pulled at her lips. "Garnet was right. You do make a good diplomat," she told him.
"I think the most important thing is being honest, open, and genuine," Steven said, smiling back, "and doing it quick enough that they don't squish you first."
As Connie let her arms dangle over the arms of the chair, she felt thick fur suddenly push through the fingers of one hand. She looked back around her chair to find Lion crouched beside her, pushing his head under her dangling palm. Her notice made the great cat pour the length of himself under her touch, letting her fingers trail through his mane and down his back.
"Hello to you too, Lion," Connie said, scruffing his flank as he passed.
"He must have woken up from all the wind and noise to protect me," Steven said. When he reached out to give Lion's mane a scratch, the cat turned away and out of reach to sniff suspiciously at the ring of sand.
Connie smirked. "He certainly didn't wake up when Jade was tossing everyone around on the beach," she noted.
Shrugging, Steven said, "He probably just knew that was a misunderstanding."
The pink creature's snuffling led him back to Connie. His nose traveled up her leg, then up her stomach, as she sat patiently still. When his examination reached her open collar, he stopped, his nose twitching at the green gemstone. Then he leaned back and sneezed at the gem, promptly losing interest.
Giggling, Connie wiped at her face. "I guess Lion's in favor of diplomacy instead of fighting too."
"Maybe he just wants to be part of the story!" Steven exclaimed. "What do you say, Lion? There's always room for one more sidekick."
Lion stared unblinkingly at Steven for ten whole seconds. Then, lifting a paw, he batted Steven's water glass off the table and over the railing of the deck.
"He's considering it," Steven said as Connie fell into peals of laughter.
Connie stared searchingly into the mirror as she brushed her teeth, scrubbing the last of the not-carob out of her mouth for another few blissful, hungry hours. Dressed in familiar pajamas, her reflection stared back at her, eyelids drooping with the weight of the day. It was hard to believe that her secret world had grown so much more complicated since just that morning. It felt more like four weeks since those first moments when Jade began to speak.
As she spit and rinsed, she wondered at Jade's mute acceptance of the toothpaste. It wasn't food, and it didn't stay inside Connie, so perhaps its minty flavor wasn't as objectionable. Or perhaps it fell under Jade's largely arbitrary definition of necessary human functions. Connie wished she could ask her passenger, but Jade had remained silent ever since meeting the Crystal Gems.
Jade wasn't gone, physically or otherwise. Her despair at Steven's confession had proven as much. Not that Connie could blame her.
When Connie opened the door, she found her mother waiting in the hallway, arms folded and leaning against the wall. She was wrapped in her thick white robe. "All ready for bed?" she asked.
"Mom?" Connie said, surprised. Suddenly she was doubly glad for Jade's silence. Her half of any conversation with the Gem would have carried through the bathroom door. "Is something the matter? I haven't been sleepwalking again, have I?"
Her mother smiled, relaxing her posture. "Nothing's the matter. I just thought I'd say goodnight since we're both actually home at the same time for a change. Seems to be a rare occurrence these days. Too many hours at the hospital, and maybe a little too much hard work from my daughter."
Connie glanced down guiltily, clasping her hands before her. "I'm sorry," she said.
Sighing, her mother pushed off the wall and wrapped her arms around Connie. "Oh, sweetie, don't be sorry. I just miss you, that's all. I never get to see you anymore except to drive you somewhere or hand off your meals." Kissing the top of Connie's head, she added, "You know, you don't need to study during every single meal if you don't want to. I'm glad you're taking your schoolwork seriously, but it's okay to eat down at the table every once in a while."
As she returned the hug, Connie hated herself for making sure she didn't let the embrace grow too tight or too close in case her mother felt the stone in her chest. "I know. I just want to do my best," she said. "I want to make you proud of me."
"Too late," her mother retorted, smiling down at Connie. Then she frowned and gently lifted Connie's chin, turning her daughter's face from side to side. "Are you growing again? You look like you've lost a little weight."
"M-Maybe?" Connie stammered.
"I guess that'll mean new clothes this summer," her mother said. Tugging at the sleeve of Connie's pink, yellow-starred shirt, she added, "Speaking of which, we will actually need to wash this eventually, you know."
Connie felt her cheeks grow hot. "I like it. It's comfy," she insisted.
Raising an eyebrow at the ill-fitting shirt, her mother simply replied, "Uh-huh." Then she kissed Connie on the cheek and said, "Goodnight, sweetie."
"Goodnight," Connie said, and held her smile in place until her mother descended the stairs. Then she sighed in relief, breathing deeply to ease her heartbeat after yet another near-miss at being discovered by her parents.
Turning out her lights and climbing into bed, Connie felt her mother's kiss lingering on her cheek. Even while she felt guilty for her latest deception, she was grateful that things with her parents had improved so much. She had always leaned heavily on her parents through their many relocations. More often than not in her life, they had been the only people she knew, the only ones to turn to and count on. And no matter how busy they seemed, they had never really let her down, not when it mattered. But now they were treating her more like an actual person instead of a project to make perfect.
Safe and warm in her own bed, Connie tried to imagine how horrible it would be to lose her parents, to lose everyone she had ever known and be totally alone, to lose her home and her familiar places all at once.
"Jade?" she whispered into the dark. "I'm gonna make you one more promise. No deals, or treaties, or bargaining. When we finally get separated, if it's what you really want, I'll help you get back to Homeworld."
No reply came.
She bit her lip, hesitating, and then said, "The Crystal Gems have a ship. A small one. And Steven's told me about the Galaxy Warp. It's broken now, but, well…broken things can be fixed, can't they?"
Nothing.
"The Gems may not like it. I think they're afraid of what you might tell Homeworld about them. About Earth. But they shouldn't get to make that choice for you, not on their own. So when the time comes…I'll help you however I can. I'll help you go home. Okay?"
Silence.
Closing her eyes, Connie settled her head onto her pillow and snuggled into the bedcovers. "Remember, no leaving the room until I wake up. Goodnight, Jade."
As her breathing slowed and she felt herself drift off, Connie thought she might have imagined a tiny voice whisper back to her in the stillness of her bedroom.
"Thank you."