Chapter 14: Do You or Don't You?

"He wasn't breathing when he came in the E.R. and the EMTs had already checked for breath sounds and that was over 20 minutes ago, it's just a miracle! I can't believe-"

"Kepner, put a lid on it, will you? The kid's gonna stop breathing again 'cause you're sucking all the oxygen out of the room," Alex snapped at April, who was in charge of this particular case they were working on.

A little boy, about 9 years old, had been brought in after falling off a ferry boat and into the dark waters of the Bell Harbor. April had talked tirelessly since Alex came in, and this case had her more excited than usual because the little boy had woken up after 20 minutes of unconsciousness. Alex was tired since he was now rotating back to night shift and his mental capacities still hadn't caught up with the clock. Having to listen to April's excited babble was grating on his nerves. He liked her, but sometimes she was better in small doses.

When he had snapped at her, she had given him a dirty look before babbling on to the intern about 'the miracle of life.' Alex had to stop himself from rolling his eyes. Kepner had never heard about Meredith's brush with drowning, in which her unconsciousness lasted way longer than 20 minutes, but he didn't want to snap at her again, so he said nothing, instead focusing on the patient.

The little boy was obviously scared, but Alex put a comforting hand on his arm.

"You're gonna be okay now," Alex assured him, "and hey, you know the story about the fish? Little orange fish gets lost, his dad is bummed out, you know the one?"

The little boy nodded. "Finding Nemo?" his little voice croaked.

"Yeah, that's the one. Just imagine Dr. Kepner as a blue fish, and you've got Dory. Kinda," Alex smiled at the little boy, patting his arm. The fear wasn't so present on his face now.

Alex stepped over to April, thinking to himself that maybe an analogy about fish wasn't the best idea of cheering up a little boy who nearly drowned.

"You page Shepherd?"

April looked at him and then sort turned up her nose, looking away. "Yes, Alex. I'm a doctor, too. I know the protocol for people who've been unconscious."

"Yeah, yeah. You're protocol patrol. Whatever," he said dismissively, "so I can go now?"

"By all means," April said sarcastically, handing him the file to sign.

He gave the file back to her and walked over to the E.R. nurses' station.

"Hey, can you page Dr. Avery?"

"Sure," said the nurse at the desk.

The little boy he had just seen on April's near-drowning case seemed to have no problems breathing and his lungs sounded clear. Now Derek just needed to come and check him out in case the deprivation of oxygen had caused any problems in his brain. And if Jackson needed to find him, he would, so he didn't have to stick around and wait for him. Alex then decided he would head upstairs to the Peds wing and check on his patients. He had grown fond of most of the kids who were regulars or had to come back for repeat surgeries, and he often stopped by to check on them if he had time. He had made it inside the elevator when Jackson came clambering in after him.

"You paged?" Jackson asked, a little out of breath.

"Yeah. Kepner needs to get laid."

Jackson stared. "Uh, what?"

"You heard me. She's all twitchy. I know you boned the Virgin Mary, so do it again."

"Isn't she like that most of the time?" Jackson asked, not taking the bait.

"Nice way to change the subject, Avery," Alex said, digging his phone out of his pocket.

"Just don't pick on her, you know, she means well," Jackson said, taking up for April.

Alex shrugged, looking through his texts on his phone. He knew Avery and April had something going on, regardless of how oblivious he acted or how far he tried to stay away from other relationships. He couldn't stay out of most hospital relationships anyway. Everyone around that place brought their problems into the hospital, dealt with them in the hospital, sometimes created them in the hospital. It was exhausting for Alex sometimes. One of the reasons he liked living with Cristina is because while she had issues going on, she wouldn't try to push them off on him. She would just buy her bags full of crap and dance around with her iPod. April, on the other hand, kept all her emotions at the forefront even if she was vague on what exactly bothered her. And Alex knew that he would probably be working with her more this week since he didn't really want to - it always happened like that for him. All of her secret Avery crap would make her more annoying than usual.

"So... did Izzie come see you?" Jackson asked.

"Yep," Alex said, not giving anymore information.

"Went that bad, huh?"

Alex looked up from his phone and over at Jackson, his brow creased. "Nah, it went great. I don't waste time walking on eggshells around women."

Jackson shook his head at Alex's dig about walking on eggshells around women. "It's more complicated than that."

"Dude, make it not complicated. Either you like the chick or you don't, or either you wanna bone or you don't. Simple," Alex said.

The elevator reached the Peds floor, and they both stepped out.

"So you didn't want anything except to tell me I should sleep with April?" Jackson asked, getting ready to walk away from Alex.

Alex shrugged. "I guess. I must be losing my freakin' mind. But if Izzie gets the job in Seattle, I'll have to get used to knowing gossip all the time," he finished, smiling a little.

Jackson grinned, leaning forward to clap Alex on the shoulder. "That's the spirit."

He turned and walked down the hallway, and Alex saw his phone light up in his hand out of the corner of his eye. It was a text from Izzie, reading:

'Mass Gen interview went GREAT. Miss u'

A little touch of the surreal feeling came over Alex again. He couldn't believe how everything with Izzie had happened in such a quick succession - first he learned of her coming to apply, then seeing her again for the first time in years, then sleeping with her, experiencing feelings for her that he had tried and failed at for years to get over, and now she was updating him on events in her life. There were still doubts and questions and things they needed to discuss, but he remembered what he had said to Jackson, and Alex realized he needed to take his own advice.

Either he wanted Izzie in his life or he didn't.

And he definitely did.