AN: Hello, is anybody out there? It's me…finally again! Well, I wasn't able to write because I broke my collarbone but finally I'm better again, so here's the next chapter. Be prepared for drama! :(

Life won't break me

"You ready?" Carol asked her daughter as she found Emery in her room. "Yeah…" Emery murmured and took a deep breath as she got up from her bed. "Aw baby…don't be nervous, it's going to be alright", Carol said and stroke over Emery's back. "I know…it's just…I've never done it before, it's something new. I'm always nervous when it comes to something new", Emery answered as they went downstairs. "Oh believe me, it's better than going to the dentist", Carol chuckled and Emery nodded. It was her first appointment at the OB GYN and of course she was nervous. It wasn't just a doctor's appointment like any other.

"Hey you two…ready to go?" Doug asked as he appeared from the living room. "Yep…don't forget to call Jason", Carol answered as she put on her shoes. "Well Mrs. Hathaway, I already talked with him and I'm on my way to him", Doug smiled and leaned against the door frame that led to the living room. "Well then…see you later", Carol smiled and kissed him shortly on the cheek. Emery watched them and smiled too. She thought it was awesome that they still loved each other that much. Some of her friends' parents already were divorced or living separately, so she was more than happy to have a mom and a dad. The day before she told Doug about Ashley and he said that he was happy for her. She also knew that he was sad to lose his little girl to a boy. No matter what, she loved her dad. "Good luck!" he called after them and Emery smiled as she looked at her mother who was opening the garage.

"So, who wants to go first?" Diane asked after she had a long information talk with Carol and Emery. "Mom, can I?" Emery asked and looked at Carol. "Sure…do you want me to come inside or shall I wait here?" Carol asked. "Well, I think I'll go in alone…if that's okay", Emery answered and Carol nodded.

So Emery went inside with Diane and Carol waited outside. Right in that moment she remembered sitting here, waiting for her first ultrasound when she was pregnant with the triplets. She remembered the glowing in Doug's eyes and how happy he was. Now they were almost adults and leaving the nest soon. Where did that time go…?

In the meantime Emery took a seat in theexamination room. "Emery…you didn't have sex yet, right?" Diane asked and Emery blushed a little bit. "Not yet", she smiled and Diane nodded. "Alright…so we can't make a full examinationtoday. We'll only make a normal ultrasound and a breast examination and we'll do the wholeexamination the next time you come okay?" Diane explained to her and Emery nodded. "Okay…you can lie down here and put your jeans down a bit", Diane said and so did Emery. Her heart was still beating like hell. Why was she so nervous? "This will be a little cold now", Diane said and put the gel substance on Emery's stomach. She shivered a little bit but looked at the screen. "Okay…here are your ovaries…here's your uterus…" Diane showed her but Emery couldn't make out anything on that screen. "Everything looks totally fine", Diane then smiled and Emery exhaled satisfied.

The breast examination was weird but then again it was also normal. Diane showed her how she could test her breasts herself and stuff like that. It was okay. And finally Emery's examination was over. She was relieved. "So Emery…you want to take the pill, right?" Diane asked as she got back to her desk writing something in Emery's chart. "Yes…I mean, I…I have a boyfriend now and we…well, we want to…try…" Emery stumbled and Diane smiled. "Alright, I know what you mean. But you know that the pill doesn't prevent from diseases. If you're going to have sex, you have to be sure if you boyfriend doesn't have any disease. If you're not really sure, use a condom", Diane explained. Emery nodded all the time, not really knowing if she wanted to hear that right now. Apparently it had to be. Diane talked about consequences of the pill; that Emery needed to take it every day to the exact same time and so on. She was relieved when this finally was over. Diane wrote her a prescription for the pill and they went outside again. Carol looked up from her magazine and smiled. "Everything settled?" she asked and got up. "Yes", Emery said smiling. "Good…my turn now?" Carol asked and Diane nodded.

"Talk to her again…I think she didn't really pay attention to what I was explaining to her; seems she can't wait to see her boyfriend again", Diane chuckled and Carol rolled her eyes as they went inside the exam room again. "Aren't they too young to even think about sex?" Carol murmured. "Think back…how old were you?" Diane said as Carol disappeared behind the changing curtain. "Yeah right…I'm silent now", Carol chuckled again and finally was ready for her examination.

For her the examination was routine already. Of course it always was weird sitting on that stool but then again it was definitely more comfortable then at the dentist. "Alright, doing the cervical smear test now", Diane murmured and Carol just looked at the screen beside her. "Done…you can put on your pants again and undress above", Diane said and cleaned the instruments she had needed. "Yay", Carol joked and Diane looked at her. "Full service, as always", Diane chuckled and Carol nodded as she came back. "I know…but do you like it yourself?" she asked but put her hands up anyway so Diane could start with her examination."I do it myself", Diane said smiling. Carol nodded and took a deep breath then. It took some moments until she realized that Diane's smiling faded away…and hers did too. "What…Diane?" she asked slowly and furrowed her brow. "Give me your hand", Diane said and Carol put her hand down to hers. "Here…do you feel that?" Diane asked but Carol didn't know what to say. She felt it…it was there, but all this didn't feel real in that moment. "Yes…what is this?" she silently asked and looked at Diane. "I don't know…it feels like alump. I'll write you permit for a mammography, just to be sure", Diane answered and Carol nodded slowly. "I…I don't get this. I come here for a check up every year. I had a mammography last year, just to see if everything is okay. And now I have alump in my breast that could be cancer? How…how is that in any way possible?" Carol asked and shook her head. Diane sighed. "It doesn't have to be cancer, you know that", she answered and Carol nodded her head. She went behind the curtain to get dressed again.

*Cancer, cancer, cancer, cancer*

This little single word ran through her thoughts and laughed a devilish laugh. She took a seat then and looked out to nowhere. This wasn't what she expected this morning. She expected to go home with a very happy Emery. She expected to go home knowing that nothing would happen to her daughter. God…when did that ugly thing grow inside of her? "Carol? Are you okay in there?" Diane asked as she realized that Carol didn't come out. "I don't know", Carol answered and finally got up again. "Diane? What am I going to do if this is cancer?" she asked but it felt like this wasn't even her who was asking. "We'll figure this out. I'm here to help, you know that. And maybe it's nothing. Maybe I'm wrong, who knows", Diane answered and tried to cheer up her friend. "Go to the mammography…and then come back to me with the results. Will you do this?" Diane asked. Carol nodded and sighed. "What if I don't go? I mean, I don't feel sick. I haven't been sick for years now, not even the flu. What if I don't do anything?" Carol asked. "What if I didn't come here today for this check up?" she added and fear started growing inside of her. "Carol…you know what could happen. It *could* be cancer and if you don't do anything, it could transmit metastases to other organs", Diane answered. Carol sat down and hid her head in her hands. "Oh God", she murmured and closed her eyes. "Carol…it's probably nothing, but we need to be sure, okay?" Diane said as she bent down to face Carol. Finally Carol looked at her again. "Yeah…I know", she whispered and felt tears coming, but held them back. Maybe it was nothing. Maybe it was just because of the stress she had lately with the triplets. "Okay…I…I need to go now; Emery is waiting outside", she said quickly and got up again. "Here, the permit for the mammography", Diane said and handed her the paper. "Thanks, Diane. I'll call you", Carol said, took the paper and left Diane's office like she had stolen something.

On the way back home Emery read the prescription for the pill she just got in the pharmacy. "It says that I can get heart disease of this, mom", Emery said and looked at Carol, who seemed very far away. "Mom? Are you okay?" Emery asked and finally Carol looked at her. "What? Oh, yeah, sure", Carol smiled and concentrated on the street again. "Mom, did something happen?" Emery asked again. Carol shook her head. "No, why? You won't get a heart disease. Just…just inform me if you're not feeling well after taking the pill, okay?" Carol answered and Emery nodded. They were silent for the rest of the ride and Carol started to think. What if this really was cancer? Would she survive it? Would she be able to fight it? What if she would die? God, this was just shit. Maybe it was nothing. She would make that mammography and then everything would be okay. She wasn't sick. She would see her triplets graduate from college; she would see her grandchildren grow up and she would sleep away her life as an old woman; happy and satisfied with what she got in her life. "Mom? Won't you get out of the car?" she then heard Emery, who already was standing outside of the car. Carol didn't even realize that they arrived at home, that she stopped the engine and starred at the staring wheel. She sighted and smiled. "I'm coming", she said and followed her daughter.

Emery immediately ran into her room to call Ashley and Carol looked out of the window. She could see Jason and Doug working on their garage roof. Jason laughed and Carol was sure that Doug told him a stupid joke about fixing a roof. She loved this man so much and she sure wasn't ready to let all of this go. She would fight, if it was necessary. And then she thought about how she should tell him about this appointment. Maybe it was better to not tell anybody about it, until she was sure. She really didn't want to upset anybody. She knew that it would be upsetting for everybody, if they found out that this really was cancer.

Later that evening she was taking a shower whenDoug joined her. He hugged her from behind and started to kiss her neck. Carol smiled, closed her eyes and snuggled closer to him. "I barely saw you today", Doug murmured and she turned around to face him. "I know…too much stress lately", she smiled and stroked over his cheek. "Well, exactly that got me thinking", he smiled. "About what?" she asked. "We should make a vacation", Doug suggested and Carol made big eyes. "What do you have in mind?" she asked smiling. "I don't know…we could go to Hawaii again…you loved it there…or the Bahamas…we could finally go to Europe for some time", he answered and Carol saw the glitter in his eyes. He really was serious about that. She really would love to visit Hawaii again. They talked about the Europe trip for such a long time but with five kids they never were able to do it. This year would be perfect for this. The triplets would be in other cities anyway and the twins would survive some weeks without them. But then again she didn't know if she could go to Europe this year…or ever. "This would be great, but…" she started, but Doug interrupted her. "But what? Come on, Care…we'd finally have time! It would be just one month without any commitments, sorrows or anything…" he answered and Carol sighed and looked down.

"Hey…what's going on?" Doug asked and cupped her chin so she could look at him again. "I…" she started and sighted again. She just couldn't hide it from him. Doug was always there for her. He supported her for such a long time when she had the accident. He helped her through the pregnancy with the triplets and he was such a good dad to his kids. He was her rock; her soulmate. "I might not be able to go on a vacation", she said and Doug looked at her with a furrowed brow. "Give me your hand", she said and as Doug held his hand to hers, he saw that hers was shaking. This wasn't a good sign. Carol took his hand and placed it on her right breast where Diane found the lump. "Carol…" he said, knowing what was going on. "Taste it", she said in a serious tone and so Doug did. As he found it, he closed his eyes and snuggled closer to Carol as she started to cry silent tears that mixed up with the hot water from the shower…