Crimson Lace

Chapter Fourteen

The following morning Jax woke to the sound of a bang, his body shocking awake from the sound, and instantly thinking it was the front door. This is it, she's finally leaving. Some how while he was sleeping she'd packed all her shit and left. Not caring that this was technically her home. But when his mind stopped for just a moment and he was able to focus on his surrounding, he was able to see that nothing was missing. Drawers weren't left open in a frenzy, closet door still open to show all her dresses hanging by the white iron hangers. Jax was confused, why wasn't she running? He thought for sure her coming home was the end of them.

He pushed away the covers and got up from the empty bed, his feet padding against the wood floors are he walked towards the front of the trailer. Jax stopped in the archway of the hall and could see Lux standing in the kitchen. Her back was too him, her hair all curly from the shower last night and her hair not properly drying. She was in nothing but a tank top and shorts, a lightly layer of sweat against her skin from the hot California sun. She was beauty.

She must've sensed his presence because not soon after walking into the main part of the trailer her body stiffened. The only sense of movement was the steam from her coffee in the cup before her. Slowly Lux began to turn back around towards Jax and sighed deeply as he saw the dark circles under her eyes, her vibrant green eyes now dull.

"Morning," She whispered softly, her hands still holding the ripped sugar packets and fidgeting with them "I-I made coffee and t-there's pancakes on a plate in the oven,"

"Thank you," Jax spoke, taking a step towards his girlfriend, only for her to step back and fall against the counter. His heart squeezed as a look of fear washed over her face. "You're scared of me now?"

Lux looked down at her feet "How can I not, Jax? With all the shit I found out last night...if any of it is untrue then tell me. Have you ever killed someone?"

Jax sighed deeply and ran his hand over his beard, before his blue eyes met back up with hers. His silence was answer enough.

"Do you deal illegal guns with the club? Is that the big secret you and everyone else has been keeping from me?"

"I was hoping to keep you out of," Jax spoke

"How long did you think that fantasy was going to play out Jax?" Lux spoke angrily "You kept me in the fucking dark and I got arrested and interrogated for two fucking days and found out the boyfriend I've been sharing a bed with for months is a criminal. I would have loved to of heard that from your mouth than that fucking ATF bitch,"

Fire was behind Lux's eyes and to be honest, Jax was scared. The packets she was fidgeting with before were long forgotten and thrown to the floor. With each word she took a step towards him, her fists balled tightly, and her eyes becoming more and more angry.

"Like Jesus fucking Christ, Jax. How could you be so stupid!" She shouted at him, finally standing in front of him and pushing him back against the wall. She reached to slap him across the face, but Jax grabbed her wrist and held her back away from him, before moving her against the wall. His body towered over hers, his blue eyes staring down towards her. A small part of Lux was afraid. She now knew he was a killer. She wanted to believe he'd never hurt her, but the flashes of what was showed to her played out in her mind.

"I was trying to protect you from the club. From every bad fucking thing that we're apart of." Jax slowly let go of your wrist, moving his hand down along her arm and moving to grab her waist, holding her place so she was unable to run away "You were an outsider, in every sort of way and I fucking loved that, Lux. You didn't know shit about me, my family or the club and that was good. Because that meant you didn't need to know of the fucked up things we do or the rumors"

"Still should've fucking know," She spoke angrily "I'm not just angry at you, I'm also angry at Jade, Gemma, fucking… Opie! All of you, walking around with this big secret like nothing is going on. I could sense it Jax. I knew something was being kept from me and it was driving me insane."

"I never meant for this to happen," He whispered softly
"Yeah, well, it did" Lux sighed deeply, before resting her head back against the wall "I don't know where to go from her Jax."

His thumb moved along the skin of her hip, feeling the heat against his palm as he held her. Jax's eyes searched her face and sighed deeply, moving to press his forehead against his. He felt her hands on the tops of his forearm, her eyes closing softly as they rested against each other.

Lux knew in her heart of hearts they weren't going to go back to normal. She pulled his hands from her hips before stepping away from him and going into her bedroom, Forgetting about breakfast and everything else as she closed the door behind her.

Later on in the afternoon Jax found himself at Teller-Morrow, hoping that burying himself with work would take his mind off shit. But it didn't. He continued to try to call and text Lux but never getting a reply back from her. He was thinking of taking a ride over to Cara Cara after work and hoping she'd talk to him before he took care of business with Clay. He reached over and grabbed the cloth, before wiping his hands, and walking across the lot towards the office. He knew today Gemma would be doing the books for the garage while Luanne took care of Cara Cara. He knocked twice on the door before walking in.

"Hey baby," Gemma greeted her soon, sitting behind the desk with her hair pull back and glasses sitting on the bridge of her nose "Everything ok? You look like hell, and I mean that in the most caring way possible."

"Didn't get much sleep last night," He sighed deeply before falling back into the chair.

"Lux finally home? Find out what the ATF bitch wanted"

Jax nodded his head "Everything, basically. Lux know's everything now and she's angry. More than angry."

Gemma sighed deeply and removed her glasses from her face before turning towards her son "You two break up or is she still with yo"

"I-I don't know...can't even think of her not being with me. Fucked up thought," Jax ran his hands over his face in frustration "But you should've seen her face Ma. It's like I betrayed her so bad the lightly went out or something and I don't know how to get the light to turn back on"

"You love this girl," Gemma smiled and whispered softly to yourself. Jax's eyes snapped towards his mother face and could see the smile start to spread across her lips "You do. I can see it Jax."

"I can't lose her cause of this, it's like she's waiting for me to fucking kill her, hurt her, something because of what they told her. I feel like she's waiting for me to hurt her, or something. Maybe even worse and fucking kill her because of what that bitch said to her. How do we come back from this?"

"You gotta fight for her baby, no matter how many times she pushes you away. If you want her, show her that you're not the monster that bitch made you out to bed"

After her dance, Lux bent down and picked up the cash thrown at the floor and made her way towards her dressing room. Tonight was a good night, for the tips at least. When she finally got to her dressing room she dumped the cash onto the coffee table and grabbed her robe to slip on over her body. After washing off her makeup from earlier she knelt down in front of the coffee table and started counting the cash she'd made from tonight. Just as she finished up and had everything organized and stacked, there was a knock at her door. When she got up to open it she wasn't expecting to see Jax on the other side, dressed in all black with flowers in his hands. Her heart sped up a little and couldn't help the smile that spread across her cheeks.

"What are you doing here?"

"Wanted to see you before we headed home" Jax spoke softly before walking into the dressing room and placing the flowers at her makeup counter "If you still needed a ride home?"

"Uh, Y-Yeah….just got to collect everything" Lux stepped back and walked towards the coffee table and collected the stacks of cash before slipping them into her pocket of her purse. Once she was set she dropped her robe and reached for her clothes. She didn't care that Jax was behind her. He'd seen everything anyways. After making sure she looked ok, she turned to face Jax.

She smiled as he stepped forward and held the flowers out to her and cleared his throat nervously "I know I'm in deep shit with you, and I know you're angry with me. But I want you to know never kept this from you to hurt you" Jax stared down towards her and never broke eye contact "You mean a lot to me Lux and I just wanted to protect you. I didn't mean for it to happen like this, I would've told you eventually, about me and the club"

Lux sighed softly and nodded her head "I believe you, Jax, but I still need time to think. That was all too much last night" She sighed softly and move her nose down to smell the flowers "Just give me time. That's all I'm asking right now."

Jax nodded his head "I understand baby, take all the time that you need"

AN; SO SORRY AGAIN for the late update! Hours have been crazy at work since I'm prepping for a trip at the end of the month and I needed some extra cash so I picked up more hours. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. It makes me smile when I get reviews in and see you're enjoying it. Along with the faves and alerts. Thank you so much guys!

Charlie