A/N – Thanks for the comments! * skatiefan – I mentioned in the very beginning that there is no Aidan. Sorry, it was the only major change I made. * kcke2pen – At this point, the explanation suffices and makes sense. You'll get more detail along the way. Thanks! * Guest – rofl the whole show is f-ed up. – Guest – I want Dylan (YR) with someone new too. I just can't see him with anyone on canvas. * kikimoo – I'm not trying to write Sam crazy. I'm just trying to fix what happened.

Chapter 14 - Confessions

Jason was wondering what was going on between Michael and Carly.

"Are you and Carly fighting?" Jason asked.

Michael nodded. "She lied for dad and did she tell you that she was screwing Franco and almost married him?"

Jason frowned. That was crazy even for Carly. "What?"

"I know. I was raped because of what that asshole set into motion. He hurt so many people we care about it and because he comes back and with the "I have a tumor that made me do it" cop out, she felt sorry for him and screwed him. She didn't care what that did to me. She actually said that you would have understood."

Jason closed his eyes. He didn't understand, tumor or no tumor, her loyalty should have been with her son. He would never make that mistake again.

"Are you going to forgive her?"

"Honestly Michael, I think there are going to be a few people who aren't going to be happy about my future choices and your mother is probably going to be one of them. I refuse to have toxic people around me anymore and I'm not fixing everyone's messes. I'll be your friend Michael but that means I'm not going to mince words or kiss your ass. You need help, like rehab kind of help and grief counseling before you completely trash your life. I love you. I always have, but I don't like seeing you like this."

Michael started to cry and Liz got up and hugged him tightly.

"If you want, I can call the director of the rehab center Lucky went too."

"Will you go with me?" Michael asked looking so much younger than he was.

"Yes," Liz said.

"I'll go too."

Michael stood. "Thank you for having my back. I know I don't deserve it right now."

Jason got up and gave him a hug. Michael had to admit, it felt really good to have him back.

"I think Morgan might have done something to me. I just can't prove it yet."

"Don't worry about that right now. I promise you that I will look into it. You need to concentrate on getting sober," Jason said.

"Okay."

Jason walked him to the door and after it closed, he leaned his head on it. Liz rubbed his back.

"He's going to be okay."

"He has a long road ahead of him. It's so hard to see him fall apart like this. I wanted things to be so different for him." He made sacrifices for Michael that he never should have. Maybe Michael was finally learning that actions have consequences.

Liz sighed. "Michael needs to find his own way. I think he'll be fine. I'm glad that he let us in."

Jason turned around and hugged her. "Me too."

They sat on the couch holding hands.

"So, what are you and Jake up to?" Liz asked.

"Victor found the lab. We're going to go there together."

Liz was surprised. "Isn't that really dangerous?"

"Victor is going to contain Helena and the other Victor. We'll be fine."

"Do you really think we can make it work this time?"

He looked over at her. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."

They got a call from Kevin that his 7:00 P.M. appointment cancelled and that they could come in and they both decided to go see him.

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Kevin watched Jason and Liz fidget and look completely uncomfortable. He broke the silence by asking a few general questions to nail down why they sought counseling and then got down to business. He knew a lot more about their relationship then they even know because he had counseled Bobbie at one point, so he knew about Ric, Carly, and Elizabeth during the panic room days.

"Elizabeth, if Jason could answer one question for you, what would it be?"

She licked her lips and took a deep breath. "I guess I just need to know why you went back to Sam."

Jason sighed. He had a feeling she'd ask that. "You know Elizabeth, you have this amazing capacity for forgiveness. Even after all the horrible things Ric did, you went back to him. Lucky disrespected you over and over and you still went back to him. You gave AJ a chance after he had kidnapped children, shot his own father, and tried to kill me numerous times. I could have been pissed at you after Ric or Lucky, but I still tried to be there for you because I hated seeing you unhappy."

"And you think people should be able to make their own choices."

"Yes. You even still loved me after I've hurt you. I think you choose to see the good in people. When you look at Ric, you were able to see he was a flawed man and you remembered when he was good to you. The same can be said for Sam. I loved her. You had forgiven her. That spoke volumes to me. She fought for me. She wanted all of me. When you asked me to give up Jake, I think something broke inside of me. It just hurt so much that you would choose Lucky Spencer over having a family with me after all he had done. I wasn't sure what to make of that. It pushed all of my buttons. At first, I took it as you really didn't want to be with me and that you didn't think I would be a good father or do everything I could do to protect you. Something just turned off inside of me. We are a lot alike as far as our baggage. I think we both have issues with people leaving us and feeling like we don't deserve love. I went back to Sam partly because I didn't think anyone else would accept all of me, the job, the man, and be willing to deal with the consequences. It was just the reality of my situation. Before she got shot, we did have a good relationship. I was lonely and I always thought I was never good enough. I buried myself into work because I was miserable. Every time I saw Jake I ached over our decision."

"There were times I offered to reverse that."

"I know, but I had convinced myself that you were right before. Jake deserved a normal life away from the violence. He had already been kidnapped because of me. I felt like I had already failed him as it was."

"We both did. When you and Sam tried to have a baby, it did break my heart a little even though I know I told you that I was happy for you. "

"I know. After we lost Jake—I had wanted to be a dad for so long and never thought I could. I was trying to be unselfish after watching Sonny have kid after screwed up kid. You didn't want the violence anymore than I wanted you in the middle of it. Sam thought I could have it all and protect them the best I could and I was in so much pain about Jake. I had so many regrets. I also agreed because I wanted to prove that I could be a good dad. I wanted to give Sam what she most desperately wanted because I couldn't take back when she got shot."

Liz wiped a tear away. She understood where he was coming from, but it still sucked.

"I think we both had the power to really break each other. It was easy to go to Sam or Lucky because we could survive the hurt that they could inflict. So we ran from each other. Elizabeth, time and time again, I agreed to things because I wanted you to be happy. Every time I let you go, you weren't. I'm not doing it again. We can fix this, and when we do, for the first time both of us will be in a place where our heads are clear and we'll be fighting for the same thing. This is me fighting for us and choosing you and Cameron."

Jason's phone rang and he groaned. "It's Victor."

She chuckled. "Take it."

He answered it and told Victor to hold on a minute. He stood up. "I'm not going back to working for Sonny. So, most of the danger stuff goes out the window. I'm choosing you over him. Deal with it." He smirked as her mouth dropped open.

"You can't walk out after saying something like that."

Jason grinned. "I'll be right back."

She watched him leave and turned to Kevin.

"How did that make you feel?"

"Scared. He's right. He does have the power to break me."

"Well on the flip side, he also has the power to love you deeply."

Liz nodded. "You don't know how badly I want this to work. I look back and I can't believe I made some of the relationship decisions that I did. It makes me feel really stupid."

"I want to see you alone. I think there are some serious issues you need to work through if you are going to have a healthy relationship with Jason."

"I agree."

Kevin really hoped they'd agree to another session, because there was a lot he wanted to say to both of them.

Jason walked back inside.

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes. I do have to leave tomorrow afternoon though."

She knew it was coming.

"I think you two are well on your way to healing. Jason, you put a lot of thought into your relationship with Elizabeth. I'm impressed. If you both try to deal with your issues and make better choices, I think you'll be fine."

"I've had a lot of time to think lately."

"Today was a good start. I'll see you next week."

Liz and Jason stood up and said goodbye.

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Carly walked into the Floating Rib. She had gotten a phone call that Jake was drunk. The bartender nodded to the corner and she walked over to his table. "What happened?"

Jake gave her a look. "Why are you here Carly?"

"Because we're friends and it looks like you need one."

"What, Jason wasn't available?"

Carly frowned. "What does Jason have to do with this?"

"You must not have gotten the memo. Elizabeth chose him."

"I'm sorry. I know how much you cared about her."

He threw back a shot. "Yeah well…. It seems like nice guys finish last."

"Why don't you let me take you home?"

"I'm fine right where I am."

"No you're not." Carly felt really bad for Jake. He had been through a lot.

"Carly, look you don't need to worry about me."

"Jake, I know you're hurting. Please."

Jake sighed. "If you're going to sit with me then you're drinking with me."

"Fine."

She grabbed his shot glass and threw one back.

He did another one and when she reached for it, he stopped her. "It's okay. You don't have to."

"Talk to me."

"I was falling in love with her. I wish I could hate Jason but honestly, I like the guy. He is a victim in all of this Helena crap just like me and I get why he'd be into Elizabeth and realize what he lost. I just wish it wasn't at my expense."

"I can't believe I'm going to say this but, she really didn't want to hurt you. She had feelings for you but they just had history in their favor."

"A bad history."

"There was good and bad. Look, I don't really get them, but I think they are bound together by Jake. They both have a lot of regrets."

"It's more than that. I think he's her soulmate and vice versa. I just can't compete with that."

She put her hand over his. "I'm sorry."

"Me too."

"I have a guest room that has your name all over it."

Jake nodded. "I probably should stop. I don't want to be hung over tomorrow."

She stood up and grabbed his arm when he wobbled a little as the alcohol hit him and then took him back to her house so he could sleep it off.

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Jason knocked on Patrick's door.

"Hey, come in. I'll go get Sam," Patrick said surprised to see him standing there. He and Sam had a long talk about Jason and the fact that it appeared their marriage was over. She was grieving for him and he did the best he could to comfort her, hoping they'd make it through.

He disappeared upstairs as Sam walked towards Jason.

"Hi,"

He nodded and then sat down. "Sam, I think you realize that our marriage is over."

"Because you want it to be."

"You have a good relationship with Patrick and you've moved on. I can't go back."

"I just don't understand why you were fine with me before but not now. What has changed that drastically?"

Jason looked down at the floor and closed his eyes for a moment. He didn't want to hurt her any more than he had too. "I made choices before because I wasn't in a good place emotionally. You wanted all of me and could deal with the life and my moodiness but, I was running. Walking away from Jake was eating me up inside."

"I just don't understand how you could forgive her but not me."

"I think what you did was worse."

Sam made a noise. "I understand that I crossed the line with Jake. I really regret that. But she crossed the line too, trying to break us apart, and emotionally, she did way more harm to you then I've ever done."

"I hurt her too Sam. Can you imagine if someone did what you did to Danny and you had to watch me be with them later? How would you feel?"

""I can a little bit, because right now you are choosing to be with her after she has made bad choices too. Do you really want to be in Danny's life? Maybe this is just bringing up my insecurities from the year before you went missing, when you were willing to walk away from him, but I don't want him hurt by this. He doesn't deserve to pay for our mistakes. Jake is gone and unfortunately, we can't bring him back. I don't want you holding back from our son because of what happened to your other one."

Jason sighed. "I'm not always going to be like this. I'm trying to let my guilt and self-hatred go. I don't want to make the same mistake I did before. So yes, I want to be a father to my son."

Sam buried her head in her hands and started to cry.

"I'm sorry I'm hurting you. I did love you Sam. I don't want you to question that."

She looked up at him with tears streaming down her face. "But you loved her more? You lied to me Jason. I trusted you and believed you when you said I was the love of your life. I gave my heart to you completely."

"I was lying to myself. I tried…."

She held her hand. "Please stop. I don't want to hear that you tried to love me or tried to get over her. God Jason, I was shot in your arms. I clawed my way back from that and back to you because I thought we had this great love, that you were my soulmate. We were so good together. I just can't handle that it was all a lie."

"It wasn't. I just never let my love for Elizabeth go. I'm sorry. I didn't intentionally try to hurt you."

"That doesn't make it hurt any less. Fine, you don't want me. I get it. I'll find a way to deal with it. It's just going to take time to get over what we had and still have to see you with her."

He stood up. "I understand. Diane is drawing up the divorce papers. She'll be in touch in the next few days."

She stood up. "Okay. I think I'll take Patrick, Emma, and Danny to the Dominican Republic to push it through."

Jason was surprised.

"If I'm going to move on with him, I need what is between us to be over."

Jason nodded and walked outside and Sam crumbled onto the couch, balling her eyes out.