He hated it when people told him things would get better. That's what people said when Paul first died. They didn't understand this cloud of perpetual darkness that seemed to take form over him. To everyone else sadness and grief were to be treated like the common cold. You'd struggle with it for a while, maybe even have a few setbacks but eventually you would weather the storm and everything could go back to normal; with the snap of the fingers you could simply will all to be right in the world.

What he felt wasn't a common occurrence, it wasn't the blues and you couldn't overcome it like a cold. Instead it was like a cancer, a disease taking root in you and some days were good. When they were good a person could truly feel like they were making a breakthrough and they were getting over things but then at that snap of the fingers everything was wrong again and nothing right. Not the way she looked him, not the way she loved him and he was certain in these moments all over again that he should not love her just the same.

Liam's mind was seared with the memory of her paled face and blue lips, the way she fell so limp in his arms like dead weight. His eyes had been transfixed by her rigidness unwillingly intrigued at the way her eyes seemed to clamp shut in this state of lifelessness and how similar it was to when a baby is born, how their fists were clenched just the same and there eyes just as tight. It confirmed for him that even though life was the opposite of death the two things seemed to share a great deal of things of common, things that haunted him. If one could look so similar in dying as they would in they way they born, could he ever look at any human being and not think morbid thoughts? It was such a strange and emotionally removed thing to think and it only confirmed to him that he was getting worse in his state of mind. He wasn't safe for her…he almost tried to harm her once and if he could think such strange things like this; if he could remove himself so effortlessly from feeling and get to that point where he could observe the woman he loved like she was some experiment, some project in which to look upon and study then who knows what else he would think of that could somehow involve her in his preoccupation with death, with his fleeting humanity. It was a state of craziness and it was only made worse with Sharon Donovan's refusal to let Liam see Carla.

For days and days after Carla had collapsed in his arms, Liam had tried to see her. But Sharon was resourceful and stern. The only words he had to describe her were that she was vile and callous the closet thing to evil known on this earth. He wanted to destroy her, to break that evil woman part for all that she was doing to ensure he didn't see Carla again. She had very clear that he wasn't to go near her daughter again and in frustration Liam kicked one of her flower pots over in a fit of uncontrollable rage. He had to calm it and keep at bay but it just took over. The look on Sharon's face was as though she had gotten exactly what she wanted. She would use his anger against him to spin more lies and try and corrupt Carla against him. And in that moment he swore that one-day he would destroy her. He hated Sharon Donovan more than anything.

"I see you Liam and the way you're looking at me. Just remember this moment," Sharon snarls, "My daughter and I, we are not so different. You could be looking into your own future right now with me…what it could be like with her. Better take a long hard look Liam," and grabbing his arm in forceful surprise she lowers her head to whisper in his ear. Her voice is one of pure malice, " Had a long nice look yet? I hope so. Now do everyone a favour and walk away," she lets go with such a force it could have sent Liam plummeting if he had not so quickly found his footing…

He played that conversation over and over in his head letting it break away him eat him up bit by bit. And he was ashamed for having walked away so easily, for not fighting harder. Liam wondered what had happened to Carla? Did she cry thinking that he somehow didn't care, that he had abandoned her? Again he felt like it was a sign that he didn't deserve her because he never fought hard enough. Now he was a point of exhaustion and like other emotions it was not the normal sort. It was an exhaustion that came with emptiness, when the emptiness and pain got to such a point he just didn't want to breathe anymore. He didn't want to exist at all.

In fact he wasn't. Right now he was sitting in his father's den with his father, his uncle, his cousin, his sisters fiancé but he was not existing because not anyone of them seemed to notice that he was so far gone. He must not be real to any of these men if he could stare blankly at a wall; didn't matter what anyone said to him because in that moment he wasn't present and would answer and yet it would make no difference at all. They did not notice therefore he concluded he must be invisible.

"How exactly do you intend to support my only daughter and soon to be born grandchild if you are to decline a working position at my textile factory?" Barry Connor puffed his pipe and raised an eyebrow at Michelle's fiancé Dean.

"I'll find away," says Dean nervously fidgeting in his chair. Liam's emotionless eyes roamed over him impassive to the latest of family drama that was taking place. Dean had just announced that he would not like to work at the factory to support Michelle as originally intended. Liam's eyes were scanning the room having snapped out of his thoughts about Carla. But he still in a very removed state not really liking the situation he was in at the moment, stuck in this room but accepting it all the same. It was a state of restlessness but the same time he felt quite rested all the same. It was just strange. He could see the shadows of Michelle's feet formed under the door crack. His sister was most likely listening in on this whole ordeal.

"Is that so?" say Liam's cousin Tom next, "By what? Running about with your petty lot of thieving friends?"

"I don't take kindly to accusations based on silly little rumors," Dean glares in Tom's direction, "I think you lot had better accept that I want an alternative means of supporting my soon to be wife and unborn child. And this involves not getting sucked into your family business. Business is not for me. No one is the boss of me, get it?"

"Then answer this boy; what the hell is?!"

"I got an offer for a job actually!" Dean says defiantly his temporary nervousness quickly evaporating and replaced with self-assurance and his usual arrogance.

"Where exactly and from whom?" says Liam's uncle John his voice conveying uncharacteristic surprise.

"A job offer from a Doctor Frank Foster," says Dean his face was completely haughty now as he takes the opportunity to silently lord this news over all of them before continuing, " You might know him and you might not. But I'm going to work at his office and household regardless mixing chemicals for his various pests. The doctor may live in an affluent neighborhood and work in one just the same but he has had a long-standing problem with rats and the like. I can take care of them."

"And this would be full time employment?" Uncle John asks waving his hand to stifle Barry's up and coming protests.

"Yes," says Dean annoyed at all the questions. His punk like behavior was becoming more and more evident by the minute. He had no respect for anyone in this family, "Obviously it is," he says in a drawl, " I wouldn't have taken it otherwise. And he's flexable…like I said I don't like to be bossed."

"And what pray tell is your experience if any with chemicals? If I am to understand correctly you never finished your formal education. I find it hard to believe you'd have any knowledge in the science of chemistry," Barry Connor remarks.

Liam still very much a listener and not a contributor to this conversation did not find it very hard to believe at all. Dean was just a shifty individual that any information he may or may not be privy to would be of no surprise. Dean may not have finished his formal education but there was no denying that he was street smart and if rumors were true outside of his womanizing ways he was also a skilled dealer the selling opium in the streets and bars. Now that Liam thought about it, it made sense that would drop all offers of working factory for a doctor's residence if he believed he could easily access all sorts of medications and resell them in the streets; that's how Dean made all his money and how he afforded himself all his flashy possessions. Liam's eyes again were glued to the door crack. He could sense Michelle's presence on the other side holding on to every word of the conversation.

"Don't worry about it," Dean says cockily smirking at Barry Connor, "Just look after your own self Mr. Connor. I can take care of Michelle just fine."

"Oh like hell you will! If I should even let you marry her anymore!" snaps Barry ready to fly off the hinges and come at Dean like the pompous bastard he was.

"Just you watch me, sir."

The door flew open then taking the room by surprise. The common expression was one of confusion especially for Liam as it was not Michelle walking in as he had expected by the family housekeeper Millie. He wasn't even remotely interested in what she had to say as she was likely just going to give his father a message about some telegram or other. Even Barry seemed ready and waiting to receive a message from her as it was only thing stopping him from throttling Dean across the room and the only thing keeping Tom and uncle John from restraining him from doing as such. However again Millie surprised everyone when she walked right past Barry and directly to Liam, leaning down and whispering in his ear. He had a visitor apparently and Liam gave no thought to it he just let his body take him to where he had to go leaving the others to deal with Dean. He didn't even excuse himself or offer any explanation.

He followed the housekeeper in a stoic fashion outside the doors acknowledging Michelle crouched down with her ears pressed against walls and he couldn't help but smile for a brief second at the fact that he knew his sister all too well. He continued on, his fixed on Millie's blonde hair, thinking nothing and willing himself not to feel just the same. He would not let the mystery of who the visitor could be preoccupy his mind as all the answers would be found out soon enough.

Carla's housekeeper Anne stood before him in the foyer turning around abruptly at the sound of approaching footsteps to face him. Her usually calm and impassive face appeared frantic and she clutched a letter in her hands.

"Anne," he says curtly, "What are you doing here? Another message to deliver from Sharon?"

"No actually," she says breathlessly the urgency in her voice more apparent now than ever, "It's a message from Carla. I can't stay," she shoves it in his hand and he quickly unfolds it as she begins to elaborate, "They are taking her to the country and I am not sure when they will be back. The way Sharon was talking I am sure if she had her way they would never come back. My employer can be fanatical at times."

Liam's eyes scanned the letter and looking up he says, "You lied when you said this letter wasn't from Sharon. It isn't Carla's writing," he was starting to get agitated as this was all so much to absorb, "Does Sharon really think I'm that dumb?! What is the point of her damn taunting?"

"Sir," says Anne starting to blubber. She was tongue tied and at loss for words as Liam shoved the letter in her face.

Mr. Connor,

I write to you only as a courtesy to inform you that all further attempts to contact my daughter will be fruitless. Rather than waste time I suggest you adopt a hobby for the summer months and maybe for a lifetime because my daughter is going away today and she is not coming back! Don't you dare try and contact Carla in any way shape or form or I shall be informing the police about that little incident that caused you to run away two years ago to begin with. You know, the time you put your hands around my daughters throat and tried to suck the life out of her?

I bet you're surprised I know this, aren't you? But then again I also know about the little rendezvous you had with her in room that day…the little poem you so carelessly left behind on the floor. I also know that Carla wrote you a letter to be sent to you just as we leave today. But I was smart enough to stop Anne and put this one in its place.

When are you going to figure it out Liam? I will always be one step ahead of you and there is nothing you can do to defeat me or turn Carla against me. I know my daughter more than anyone in the world. You can't come between us and what's right for her future. But don't you worry Carla's letter wouldn't have reveal much anyways. I foresaw that she'd probably try to blab to you the location of we were headed in so I made sure to give her a false one. We are not going to grandmother Donovan's so don't waste your time trying to track her down. This is your final warning.

Sharon

He felt the uncontrollable anger rushing through him once more…that monster was well and alive in his chest, "Where are they?!"

"It's no use," Anne says surprised at the letter because no doubt Sharon forbade her from peeking at it before hand, "They are getting into that car and probably leaving as we speak."

"Where are they going?" he says ready to grab her by the shoulders and shake her senseless.

"I don't know," Anne looks horrified her eyes wide and afraid of his onset anger.

Liam of course didn't believe her but if she wasn't going to tell him he would just have to find out for himself. He glanced at the front door and without a second thought for the important family business he was leaving behind bolts towards it prying it open and breaking into run…he just had to see her some how and know that she was okay. Liam would have to get there before she left or who knows when he would see her again if ever like Sharon threatened.

It became apparent him as he was running just how quickly his mind had shifted again. Perhaps because he was so afraid of losing her he now knew he couldn't live without her and that everything between them felt like it could work. He felt like the darkness would leave him and Liam was sure he could be happy in this moment. He could not lose her, not again. That bitch Sharon was mocking him trying to taunt him with the fact that she was destroying both him and her daughter. Sharon was a complete psychotic bitch.

"Mr. Connor," says Anne shouting after him, "Please don't do anything stupid! Please stop running. Sir!"

But Liam ignored her and soon she stopped following him in his run getting in to her borrowed car and speeding down the stretch of road no doubt to gain time to alert her nasty witch of an employer about the change of events. He didn't even notice that the letter was still in his hands, He clenched it so hard it was about to writher away and rip. The franticness of the situation only made the adrenaline course through him and before he knew it he was on the stretch leading up to Carla's town house. Liam saw three black cars lined up in front of the house, the servants standing on the steps as Carla's father Edward Donovan yells at Carla's brother Robert to get into one of black cars before throwing it shut and tapping on the drivers window with his cane to usher it off. There was no sign of Carla and Liam heart began to sink for a fraction of a second anguished at the thought of them possibly sending her in an earlier car. As the car carrying Robert sped off Edward Donovan wore a look of relief satisfied that that particular departure went off without a hitch. And then he looked back as the doors to the townhouse opened once more. Carla stepped out this time followed by the figure of her vile mother Sharon pushing her down the steps as her father quickly opens the door to yet another of the waiting black cars. This made Liam all the more alive again as he realizes not all hope is lost yet. He could save Carla from whatever Sharon had planned.

"Carla!" he shouts hoping she will hear him and look up as he is still far down the street, "Carla!" But she doesn't hear him. Liam can see from her body language that she is hesitant to get in, that is something is stopping her. Her father gently tries to instruct to the car with his hand on her back. "Carla!" Liam shouts again and this time Sharon sees him.

Her look is one of dumbfound but is quickly replace with extreme anger and hatred that her perfect little plan may not got off without any hitches. Perhaps she should have thought twice then to taunt him.

"Carla in the car now!" Sharon shouts shoving Carla in and slapping her husband on the arm to alert him to Liam's gaining presence. Edward's look is also one of dumbfound but he wears no hatred or anger of any kind he just caught off guard before Sharon smacks him into action and he helps his wife into the car as well. Slamming the door he taps the drivers window with his cane to make them go.

Liam is still gaining ground and though he thinks all hope may be up and lost he continues to shout Carla's name because there is a chance she will be able to hear him through the windowpane. Finally Carla turned her head around in the backseat of the car perhaps she sensed that she had, perhaps she finally felt his presence. She was taken by surprise and her green eyes were wide open as she shifts her body around putting her hands up on the glass of the back window.

She was mouthing the words 'Liam' and Sharon quickly turned around glaring trying to throw her daughters hands away from the backseat window.

"Drive dammit you bloody bastard! What am I paying you for?" Edward Donovan commanded thrashing at the window with his cane one last time before quickly making way to the third and final car, which was to drive him away from the townhouse.

Her cries were now evident now even through the barrier of glass as she tries to grab at the backset door handles, anything at all to escape. Liam won't give up, he will run after that car until it's out of sight.

"Carla!"

"Liam!" Carla says finally managing to stick her head out the window. She is slapping away at her mothers relentless grip and efforts to stop her from doing so, "They are taking me away!" Carla cries, "LIAM!"

Again her mother Sharon tugs at her daughter trying to pull her head back inside.

All Liam can manage to say is her name over. Because this all too much and the car is getting further and further away that he keep up with it on the road. Finally he realizes that there is nothing he can do, and when Carla's last crying screams have become a faint whisper; it is clear that Sharon Donovan has won and Carla has been driven from his life probably forever.

And there it is again, when the emptiness and pain get him so much he doesn't want to breathe anymore. Liam simply does not want to exist. Sharon won, she won…and so he finally stops running because now he is only chasing the air. True reality dawned on him. Things did not get better in fact chances were they only got infinitely worse.