Oops, Y'all I Messed Up

I am really really sorry, but I cannot post a proper chapter on time! Life got busy and now I have to travel again and this next chapter is giving me issues and I'm just really really sorry. Like last time I refuse to leave you guys completely empty handed so I wrote another small little thing as an apology. Hope you enjoy and don't want to hurt me!

I sort my life into three distinct periods, so far. Each have their own name and their own identity. Sadie Cross, Luna Bennett, and Evangeline Greene are three very different people who lived very different lifes. They all just happened to share a body is all. The original inhibitor was Sadie Cross, who had a big family and friends and went to a normal school. She was pretty normal and I often wonder what would have come of her had she not passed some strange test.

I consider Sadie's life to have only lasted fifteen years. She was born on a farm in Iowa and she stopped existing when she agreed to join Rogers Academy. As it is now, I see Sadie's life through a very rose colored nostalgic filter. It wasn't all folksy charm, big family fun, and country living, though, as much as I like to think it was.

My dad inherited the family farm and married his high school sweetheart. My mom gave up going to college for him. They then proceeded to have seven children. It was a classic story that could have ended very badly like so many do and it almost did on several occasions. Farming isn't always a profitable endeavor and with a lot of mouths to feed that can be an issue. It also can put quite the strain on not only pursestrings, but marriages as well.

My parents always pulled through, though. They truly did adore each other. They didn't mind us kids either. Dad was a bear of a man, standing six foot one inch and barrel chested, due to a combination of my mama's cooking and working hard on the farm, he had brown hair and eyes along with a grizzly like beard. He had a quick temper and a brutal tongue at times, but was a teddy bear when it came to his family. Now my mama was tiny compared to him and it will never stop being funny to me. Mom was all of four foot eleven inches, but if you asked her she'd say she was five foot as if that inch made her so much taller. In almost all my memories of her she had her honey blonde hair pulled back with a colorful handkerchief and a seasonal apron tied around her waist. Her brown eyes always reminded me of the cinnamon hot chocolate she made around Christmas every year. They always had a warmth to them.

All of us seven kids got some crazy combination of their characteristics. You could tell we were family. It was even more obvious by how us kids were constantly bickering. From oldest to youngest our rankings go thusly, Theodore (who takes strongly after Dad), Elizabeth (a very even mix of our parents), William (the male version of mom but taller), Gabriel (another mixed child), Catherine (Dad as a chick), Sadie[Me] (More Mom than Dad), and then Harry (another Dad mini-me). Other than Christmas Eve and Christmas there was never a time when we all got along. There was never a dull moment in our house, but there was also never a quiet one.

People in the area called us the Waltons, if anyone gets that joke. Haha, I know. I did like that show, though. The farm house was large, but other than with my first three siblings there was no such thing as one's own room. Sharing is caring, as Mama liked to say. If I have to share so do you brats so deal with it, as my Pa prefered saying.

Then Sadie left and Luna was metaphorically born. Rogers Academy made a very different person out of the girl who was once Sadie Cross. Luna then came out of her procedure looking like a completely different person. Gone were the once brown eyes and caramel colored hair as well as a few other features. The serum had drug up some genes that had been hiding in my DNA.

My hair started growing in a dark mahogany color and made it look like I had roots showing so I chopped off all my hair. Luna rocked a nice pixie cut for a while. My eye changed to a crazy hazel mess of color. Brown, green, blue, gold, and gray all compete for dominance now. Sometimes a color wins, but never for long. I also grew a couple inches.

Then, my missions started drawing the attention of some not so good guys, because I was bad for business. I started getting targeted and that put my family at risk. They just thought I was in the military. They didn't know what I was really doing. It was all classified and top secret so I couldn't tell them about it in my letters. Then after a particularly close call on a mission where I found a file on me that was dangerously close to finding out about my family it was decided I needed to fake my death. If Sadie Cross died and Luna Bennett even more officially took her place then my family should be fine. No one asked me for my opinion.

They told my parents that I died while on tour in an accidental explosion. I wanted to go to the funeral for a last look at my family, but the higher up said no. Evan was going because my parents knew about him and invited him. He snuck me out with him. We told everyone I was Sadie's bunkmate. I had mentioned one so it made sense. I looked so different that no one recognised me, either.

I had to sit through a funeral and watch my family cry over me when I was standing ten feet away completely alive. Evan had to stop me from revealing myself countless times. There is nothing I can say to describe how painful it was to be there and not be able to talk to my family.

There will never come a day where I do not think about them or miss them or regret lying to them. But it is too late and I have become yet another person and been to a real funeral and there is no going back now. To my family, Sadie is dead. To me, Sadie is dead. Still, there are times, in the middle of the night when I have woken up from a nightmare to only a dog for comfort that I wish and wish and wish with all my heart that she was the one who had lived.