Chapter Fourteen
Cas was drawn into consciousness by her phone beeping. She groaned and reached out, keeping her eyes closed, and groped on the bedside table until she came into contact with the phone. She pulled in front of her face and squinted at it, then frowned and sat up. She had been planning on breakfast with Daniel that morning to celebrate the first week of classes, but according to his text he wouldn't be able to make it. She texted him back telling him it was fine and that she wished him luck in whatever was keeping him busy, then she pulled the duvet over her head and tried to go back to sleep.
After a half hour of tossing and turning, she gave up and got out of bed, heading first for the shower, then to her dresser. Now that her whole day was free, she hunted for something to do. It was far too early to think anyone would be at the bar, or even awake, so she settled for catching up on her laundry and chores for the week.
She was distracted by her phone beeping again. She stared at it for a moment. Usually she got maybe one or two texts a day, at the most. Maybe Daniel could make breakfast after all, though now it would be more like a brunch. She grinned and picked up her phone, then frowned when she saw the text was from Barney instead, telling her the whole group plus Ted's parents were going out for dinner at some fancy place she had never heard of. She considered saying she was busy, fingering her phone as she thought. After missing her breakfast date she wasn't really in the happy mood it would take to be energetic around the group. Then she frowned and considered inviting Daniel, going so far as to type out the text before she deleted it. If he was too busy to make breakfast, she would be too busy to see him for dinner. She knew it was childish, but she had been looking forward to breakfast, she had barely seen him all week, him being busy settling in and her being busy getting back to work. She texted Barney that she would be there, then picked out her clothes. The place wasn't overly fancy, but she wanted to give a good impression, so she laid out her only skirt, a light blue one she had worn on her first official date with Daniel, and added a white blouse to it. She still had almost four hours before she had to meet them at the restaurant, but she had nothing else to do so Cas began working on her hair, straightening it for the first time in months, then she moved on to makeup, though by that point she was bored of primping so she wore hardly any.
Cas sighed, wondering what to do with the almost two hours of spare time she had, and settled for mindlessly staring at the tv while it played a documentary on some wildlife she didn't pay attention to. Her tv had been on this station for months, left over from when Barney used to come over and watch it. She usually didn't watch tv, so she hadn't noticed until that moment that she had never changed it. She was happy when the little pang of hurt that usually went through her when she thought about Barney was less painful than normal. Having someone else she could focus her attention on was certainly helping, not that that was the only reason she had chosen to go out with Daniel. He was smart, charming, funny… and now that she thought of it, she didn't really know that much about him. Not his past anyway. He had mentioned having a sibling, or maybe more than one, and that his parents lived in a small town near Paris, but that was about it. She frowned, then shrugged it off. To be fair, she didn't talk about her past very often either.
Finally she couldn't take the boredom anymore and left the apartment to find a cab. Showing up early and having to sit alone for a while was much better than sitting around here doing nothing, though she was sure that if she really wanted to she could go over to Ted and Marshall's, or even call Lily and go to her new tiny gross apartment. She didn't have the energy to deal with all the drama the group usually had though, so she got into a cab alone, giving the address of the restaurant and sitting in silence.
As it turned out, she wasn't the first one there, Barney was.
"Barney?" She asked, sitting down next to him at the long table. His eyes flicked up, then down over her in a way that made her want to blush.
"Nice skirt," he said, as though he had some private joke. She raised an eyebrow and slid her chair forward as a waitress brought her a glass of water. Cas thanked her, then turned to look at Barney, who was on his phone looking at something.
"Why are you here so early?" She asked, and he shrugged without looking up.
"I'm trying to make Ted's parent's like me more than they like Robin," he said.
"Why?" She asked, frowning. "Aren't they supposed to like Robin more, since she's Ted's girlfriend and all?"
"No," he said angrily. "I'm more important." She smiled, amused at his childlike behavior. He frowned and looked up at her. "Why are you here early?"
"I was bored," she said, shrugging.
"Where's your boyfriend?" He asked in an almost snide voice. She rolled her eyes, then frowned. Come to think of it, she hadn't heard back from him this morning about what was keeping him so busy.
"Busy," she said distractedly as she pulled her phone out of her purse, glanced at it noticing the empty screen with no new messages, then snapped it closed and put it back. She looked up to see Barney watching her.
"He's cheating on you," he said, and she scowled at him.
"No he's not," she said.
"Of course he is. He's been dating you for a few months. It's statistically proven that 83% of men cheat after two months," he said, and she shook her head, frowning.
"You just made that up," she said. He shrugged. They were distracted by the arrival of Ted, Robin, Marshall, and Ted's parents. Cas greeted them when she was introduced, smiling politely, then settled in to listen to the conversation. She didn't speak as Lily arrived besides the initial hello, or as they all ate their food. She didn't even have to try to stop herself from laughing as Barney laid on the charm for Ted's parents, she was too busy fretting over what Barney had said.
She didn't think Daniel was cheating on her, just because he had missed one date. And one on Tuesday. That didn't mean anything. But there was a little nagging voice in the back of her mind telling her she wasn't good enough for him, or anyone, and that she didn't know how to be a girlfriend since she had never dated, and that he must have been tired of her, that's why he was canceling. Most of her food went uneaten as she had lost her appetite, and she didn't notice the little fight happening between Marshall and Lily, even though they were sitting next to her. She did notice when Barney got up to play the piano. She hadn't known he could play, she would have guessed that sitting still long enough to learn would be too boring for him. No one bothered to speak to her, maybe they noticed how quiet she was being, but more likely they were absorbed in their own conversations. She was drawn out of her thoughts as the waitress cleared the table and Barney said her name in conversation. She didn't hear what he had said.
"Isn't that right Cas?" She heard, and looked up to see most of the table looking at her. She nodded, not sure what she was agreeing to, and they turned back to their conversations. As Ted's parents got up to leave, she leaned over to Barney.
"What was I agreeing to? I wasn't paying attention," she said. He grinned.
"I know, you were in your own little world," he said, tapping her forehead. She frowned at him. "I just spent the whole meal telling Ted's parents that we regularly attend mass." She frowned.
"Why?" She asked.
"To prove I'm better then Robin of course," he said, shaking his head.
"Yes I'm sure that asking Ted's parents permission to date him is very important to you," Cas said, rolling her eyes. She was exhausted, though she hadn't really done much that day. Barney ignored her.
"I'll pick you up at eight tomorrow," he said, standing.
"Uh, for what?" She asked, lost again.
"Mass at Saint Peter's of course," he said, half laughing.
"I don't want to go to mass Barney," she said, frowning.
"Please?" He said, his face blank. "It'll be fun." She snorted.
"Why Saint Peters?" She asked.
"It's the biggest church nearby," he said.
"I know, I've been there before," she said. "I meant why are you going through all this effort?"
"You've been to church before?" He asked in surprise, ignoring her question.
"Of course I have," she said. "I was raised Catholic until my parents stopped going when I was a junior. I went to Saint Peters a few times when I first moved here. I didn't like it, it's too stuffy."
"I can just tell her you're sick tomorrow then," he said, shrugging.
"No, I'll go," she said, then hit herself internally. She had only said that out of the reflex to argue with Barney. "It'll be interesting," she added.
"Great," he said, smiling again, and she smiled back, also out of reflex. "And then everyone is going to brunch."
"Fine," she said, not in the mood to argue anymore. She stood, following the rest of the group out to the street where they all prepared to leave, and rode back to her apartment in a cab with Barney and Marshall while Ted rode in a separate cab with his parents. She didn't talk the whole ride, or when they got out, just waved and went back to her apartment, checking her phone as she went. Still nothing new. She sank into bed, feeling more depressed than she had in months.
Cas woke up angry the next morning, having slept fitfully, tossing and turning until the sun was almost rising. She didn't feel exhausted as she found a church appropriate outfit to wear, then showered and dressed. After the initial look at her phone when she first got up, she turned it on silent and put it into her purse, then she went outside to wait for Barney. She should have just told him she didn't want to go to mass and help him show off to Ted's mom, but there was just a comforting routine about church, one that she could use right now. She broke down in the cab and pulled her phone out, ignoring Barney's talking.
Her finger hovered over the button that would open up a new message, then she sighed and pushed it, then typed out that she hoped Daniel had had a good day yesterday and that she had missed him at breakfast. He replied only moments later, which surprised her since it was so early. He apologized, saying that he had been in a required meeting for the transfer students and then his phone had died and he had fallen asleep before he remembered to text her. She smiled, relaxing. How could she have though Barney might be right? Of course he wasn't cheating on her.
She put her phone back into her purse as the cab pulled up to the church and Barney got out, immediately spotting Ted's mother. The three of them went inside, Cas immediately calming at the familiar atmosphere that seemed to encompass all churches. She was surprised that Barney knew the proper way to conduct himself in a church, but she didn't comment. In fact, besides the initial greetings, she didn't speak to either of them, content to listen to their conversation on the way to the restaurant after mass.
She settled in the chair between Ted's father and Lily, and tried to pick up the conversation, but everyone seemed to be arguing with someone else about something, so she eventually settled for pulling out her phone again and texting Daniel. They talked throughout the meal, Cas only looking up once so a waitress could take a group picture, and she was happily ignoring everyone else when suddenly there was a loud crash and she looked up to see that a waitress had fallen, or dropped her tray. Somehow, that led to the revelation that Ted's parents were divorced, and the whole table was tense as Ted had a little mini freak out. He left, followed by his parents, then Robin. Cas glanced at the others, Barney, as usual, was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but he left to the omelet bar after seeing the tension between Marshall and Lily, and Cas was quick to follow though she didn't want an omelet.
"So did you break up with your boyfriend yet?" Barney asked as the stood near the omelet station. She glanced back at Marshall and Lily, almost thinking that whatever they were arguing about would be better than this, but sighed and turned back.
"No, why would I?" She asked.
"He's cheating on you," Barney said matter-of-factly.
"No he's not," she said, rolling her eyes. "Not everyone has commitment issues you know." She regretted the words as soon as she said them, but he just shrugged it off and grinned.
"Whatever. Just don't come running to me when you find out I'm right," he said, then smirked. "Or do, I'm open to rebound sex."
"I think you're open to any kind of sex," she said, trying to act disgusted, but her lips were twitching up in an amused smile. He laughed.
"Pretty much," he said. She shook her head and went back to sit at the table, figuring that Lily and Marshall had had enough time to talk by now.
"Cas, want to go shopping with me after brunch?" Lily asked as Cas settled back into her seat. After having eaten hardly any of her dinner the night before, Cas had finished almost all of the food on her plate.
"Sure," Cas said, smiling. It had been a long time since she'd had any Lily gossip time, and she could tell that's what Lily wanted, since she only asked Cas to go shopping when there was something she really wanted to talk about. They all bid farewell to Ted's parents when they finally came back inside, and Lily and Cas found a cab and went to a popular shopping area.
"So what's up?" Cas asked, glancing over at Lily. The mall was a lot less crowded than usual, since it was a Sunday, and they were able to easily make their way from shop to shop though Cas didn't buy anything at any of them.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked, frowning.
"Lily, you asked me to go shopping with you, which is code for either 'I have a really big piece of gossip' or 'Something's bothering me' and if it was gossip you would have spilled it already. Plus, you've bought a pair of shoes and three tops already, something's bothering you," Cas said. Lily sighed, then led them over to a coffee shop.
"Okay fine. Sometimes I forget you're a psychologist," Lily said as they stood in line.
"Being a psychologist has nothing to do with it. I just know you," Cas said, laughing. Lily shook her head.
"I guess," she said, then stood silently in line for a while, slowly moving closer to the counter. "It's Marshall." Lily finally said as they settled in to a small table with their coffees.
"What about him?" Cas asked patiently, adopting her therapist voice.
"I just don't know what to do! I want him back. I wish I'd never went to San Francisco," she cried. It sounded like she had been holding a lot of things back for a while, and now she was spilling them all out. "I love Marshall, I really do, I never stopped loving him, but he won't give me another chance. I don't know what to do."
"Tell him that," Cas said, sipping her coffee.
"I did," Lily said, looking near tears. "He says we need some time apart."
"Lily, he was really devastated when you left, he moped around for weeks hardly talking to anyone. He was hurt you left, and it takes a while to get over that kind of hurt," her voice was soft and comforting, though she really had no personal experience in the area of being in love. "He is probably afraid of getting hurt like that again. He's going to need time to learn to trust you again, and it will probably take a while. But saying you two need some time apart isn't saying he will never consider being with you again, it's just asking for a break. You have to prove to him that he can trust you and that you won't leave again and hurt him." Lily was nodding slowly as Cas spoke.
"How do I do that?" She asked, her voice soft.
"I don't know," Cas said, shrugging and leaning back in her chair. "You know him the best. You are the one who broke the relationship, so you are going to have to be the one to fix it. Just let him know that you aren't going anywhere." Lily gave her a tiny smile.
"You're right," she said, leaning back in her chair as well. "I'll just give him some time."
"And talk to him. Communication is important in relationships," Cas added, smiling now too.
"Don't go all therapist-y on me now," Lily said, chuckling.
"Have you ever been to see a therapist Lily?" Cas asked, grinning. "That was pretty much the same as any of my meetings with the students."
"I didn't even notice you were doing it," Lily said, thinking back over the conversation. "I guess I just assumed therapists always ask 'and how does that make you feel' and nothing else." Cas laughed with her, then shook her head.
"Only in the movies," she said. "Most of the time people come to therapists because they need advice or because they are lonely. It's just like talking to a friend. I have to build up trust with each patient and become their friend, to an extent."
"To an extent?" Lily asked, quirking an eyebrow.
"Well, if I get impatient with you I can just tell you to stop whining," Cas said, grinning. "If I said that to a student I would probably get fired."
Lily laughed, then stood, and Cas followed her back out onto the street for some more shopping. Lily was perceptible happier after their talk, and Cas was very glad for it.