Chapter 14: Trials and Tribulations
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It was that time of winter where the snow would begin to fall less heavily. As a result of this climate change, today's work was more strenuous than usual to ensure that things were still operating properly in Hikarizaka after the continuous snowfall. Yoshino and I were taking a much needed lunch break before heading back to the office to finalize the paperwork and daily reports.
Since Kyou doesn't have class on Saturdays, I had the rare luxury of eating one of her bentos for lunch today instead of last night's cold leftovers.
"Wow, looks good," remarked Yoshino as I removed the lid of the bento. I had to agree with him. Usually Kyou would take last night's leftovers and add something to it along with an assortment of side dishes, but this time she had prepared something rather impressive. Housed in the compartments of the bento were potato croquettes, beef patties, tamagoyaki, yesterday's tonkatsu, and finely cut vegetables over rice.
"I'm surprised she put in this much effort." I took out my pair of black lacquer chopsticks she had packed and immediately dug in forgetting to savor the taste as I shoved as much as I comfortably could in my mouth.
"Why would you be surprised?" pried Yoshino as if he had read the thoughts that had passed through my mind. The way I had said it made it obvious to him something was going on. Only he would have guessed it though. "Judging by the dumb look on your face I'm taking that as a yes."
"What dumb look on my face?"
"The one that says, 'How did he know something was going on!?'."
"I seriously look like that..?"
"Yep," sighed Yoshino, shaking his head. "So, tell me, what's up? Did you two fight?"
"No, nothing like that... Remember how we had that date earlier this week? Stuff sort of happened." I refrained from mentioning Kyou's personal matters. "Basically, I learned that she has been struggling to get past my old feelings for Nagisa. I should have realized it sooner before things got to this point. She had hinted at it occasionally but I didn't think anything of it."
"I can't say I blame her for feelings this way Tomoya. You shouldn't have expected her to be so easily swayed with simply words and gifts. I was beginning to find it odd myself, honestly."
"But she was so intimate with me to the point that we even–– you know..." I was too embarrassed to say the rest. "I figured that everything was okay because of that."
"Did you ever consider that the thought of possibly losing you pushed her to do that? If she flat out told you that she was unhappy you would probably think she hated you and end up avoiding her."
"Yeah... I realized that after she told me."
"I've pressed the issue lightly in the past, but if you intend to stay with this woman you need to try harder Tomoya."
"I know," I feebly replied.
Yoshino never raised his voice when he was angry or frustrated, but the manner in which he spoke made it clear that he was. In the years that I've known him, I had only heard him speak this way once; it was shortly after I lost Nagisa.
He let out an exasperated huff and punched my shoulder with a soft jab before he continued. "The Tomoya I knew never let the fact that he could barely raise his right arm above his shoulder stop him from protecting the woman he loved so dearly. It's time you start being the man Kyou needs you to be."
The truth of his words struck me hard. I had become so insecure after losing Nagisa that I was barely the shadow of the person I used to be. It wasn't just part of my heart that died when she left me; it was much more than that.
I would have fought tooth and nail for Nagisa if it meant protecting her. I refused to give up when she was involved; be it asking for her hand in marriage or sustaining our livelihood. Every day I had pushed past the aches and pain that filled my body so that we could live meagerly. Knowing that I would come back home to her made it worthwhile.
It was obvious why Kyou has been so reluctant to believe me when I barely gave her a fraction of that same tenacity.
I told her that I would be her strength, but those words never felt so serious as they did right now. Now wasn't the time to be timid and fear the uncomfortable. The idea that I could continue to live a carefree lifestyle was so naive that it made me sick knowing I had honestly believed it possible. The only saving grace of it all was that I realized my mistake before things had reached an irreparable point. All I can do now is place my best foot forward and try my hardest.
"Hey Yoshino—"
A sudden ringing interrupted me midway. Yoshino glanced down at the caller I.D. of his cell phone with a puzzled look.
"One sec'— sorry. Hey Kouko, what's up? ... Wait, slow down and say that again." He stood up hastily and his eyes widened as if from shock. "Fuko is awake..?"
The news had come as a huge shock to us both. We stared at each other unsure of how to respond as Kouko continued to explain the situation over the phone. Fuko had been in a coma for over five years, hospitalized in the same bed for that entire time. The Fuko I knew was an entirely different person; a physical manifestation of the sleeping Fuko's desire to grant her sister's wish. And now she was awake.
It was a lot to process at once. I began to wonder if she would still be that same energetic, starfish loving girl we came to know her as. I realized that if it weren't for her I wouldn't have ever met Kouko and Yoshino. I also wouldn't have become an electrician if it weren't for that unlikely encounter. Nor would I have had those two to rely on in my time of need. It was odd knowing that I was indebted to her in that regard.
I answered the question that Yoshino seemed to have difficulty placing into words.
"Hey, I'll take care of the paperwork in the office for today so you can be there for them. I'm sure Kouko is overwhelmed by it all and needs you right now."
"No, it's fine... I don't want to push all the work onto you."
"Don't worry about it. You've done the same for me countless times." It was the least I could do for him since he was always the one helping me. Yoshino was someone I could always count on; I wanted to be just as reliable for when he needed it too.
"Thanks Tomoya, really. It means a lot that you'd do that for me"
A wave of relief seemed to pass over him. This was the first time I was able to repay him for what he has done for me. Admittedly, I think I was relieved more than he was knowing that I was finally able to do so.
"Ah, I nearly forgot! What were you going to say earlier?"
"Oh, right." I had completely forgotten about it myself. "Thanks for telling me what you thought earlier. I have a bit of soul searching to do now."
"It was just a friendly shove in the right direction, don't worry about it. More importantly, you have that dinner later, right? We should hurry back so you don't get held up at the office too long."
"Yeah, I don't want to keep Kouko waiting on such an important day either."
Yoshino and I scarfed down what was left of our lunches and hurriedly packed our tools into the back of the van. As we drove back to the office, I was reminded of how Hikarizaka was built on an uneven landscape filled with hills. Regardless of which direction you chose to go, you would eventually have to brave the steep incline of a hill. The only way to avoid them was to not move at all.
This city symbolized life itself; hardships would always come so long as you choose to move forward.
I had always acknowledged that the path ahead was going to be an uphill climb, but it wasn't until now that I decided to finally make the ascent. The grove of sakura that waited at the top were barren from the winter, but I could already see them blooming from down here.
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.x.
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As expected from the start, dinner with Kyou's parents had taken a quiet turn. The only noises made were the chewing of food and scraping of utensils. The few words spoken were the usual gratitudes given when passing along plates and the like. It wasn't that making conversation was difficult, but whether or not conversation was appropriate at all. That same atmosphere from before weighed down on us as we continued our meal silently. Kyou had been waiting for an opportunity to finally speak her mind, but none have appeared since our arrival half an hour ago.
Dinner was still being prepared when we arrived, leaving the most unexpected person in the household to greet us at the door. Judging by the expression on his face at the time, I was clearly not invited. Despite that initial road bump, I was reluctantly let inside at the behest of Kyou's mother insisting that she had expected my company.
As we passed through the photograph lined hallway, I realized that the portraits of the twins began when they were around twelve. It didn't strike me as peculiar back then, but recently learning the grim truth behind it left a bitter taste in my mouth. The thought of Kyou learning how to hide her true feelings behind a mask at such a young age was far too uncomfortable to swallow; knowing that she could do so with ease only made it worse.
Since then we had sat around the dining table without saying anything to each other. Kyou's father had spent his time waiting for dinner to finish reading a newspaper, preventing any conversation from happening in the first place. It was obvious that he wanted nothing to do with the apology Kyou's mother invited us over for.
More importantly, Kyou's courage seemed to waver as time silently passed by. She knew that she couldn't come right out and speak her mind unexpectedly, but it was becoming her only option based on how things were going. There had to be something I could do or say to help.
"Ah, I haven't had the chance to thank you for inviting us over." I added a polite smile to my words in order to properly express my gratitude. It wasn't much, but at least this would push things in the right direction.
"We're glad to have you over Tomoya-kun," replied Kyou's mother, returning my gesture with a smile of her own. "Sorry that you had to wait for the food. I didn't expect you two to arrive so early."
"No need to apologize ma'am, it was hardly a wait. Besides, the food was well worth it. I can see why Kyou is such a talented cook."
"You are so polite, thank you. Though I have to admit that Kyou was a good cook before I met her. In fact, she taught me a thing or two cooking together. She must have got it from her mother since my husband is such a lousy cook. I wouldn't trust him to boil rice!"
Kyou's father forced a cough to interrupt his wife before she said too much hoping that I wouldn't catch on. Unfortunately, this was exactly the kind of opening I was waiting for. I already knew why Kyou was a good cook; she had to be if she was taking care of herself for so long. But I never expected Kyou's mother to slip so easily.
I quickly glanced over at Kyou who had just realized my intentions and nodded in affirmation.
"You don't have to hide it dad. He already knows." Her voice was tempered from the many times she had said similar words aloud in practice.
"Why would you tell a stranger about personal family matters?" demanded Kyou's father, glaring angrily.
"Tomoya isn't a stranger," retorted Kyou with just as much emotion. "Who I tell isn't any of your business. You don't have any right to tell me what I can or can't do anymore."
"You may not live in my house any longer, but you will not talk back to me that way young lady! I've just about had it with your rebellious attitude! You think that you can act however you please just because you moved out. Don't be ridiculous!"
Kyou was powerless to look up at her father while he yelled at her; all the strength she mustered had suddenly been sapped. It couldn't be helped after being shot down immediately since she had been so determined to finally speak out. Silent tears began to form at the corners of her eyes from accepting defeat. I decided to speak on her behalf since she no longer could.
"With all due respect sir, this is exactly why Kyou was so reluctant to come here in the first place. You don't give her any opportunity to speak her mind because you constantly force your own views onto her. Yeah Kyou could have been more polite about how she said all of that, but you didn't have to blow up on her the way you did. It's bad parenting."
"What gives you any right to lecture me on how to parent my own daughter?"
"I don't have any right to, but it's not hard to see that you're only hurting her the way you're acting."
Kyou put her hand on mine and squeezed it. "It's okay... please just stop fighting," she urged, trying to wipe away the tears with her free hand.
"No, it's not okay! You need to tell him everything you've been bottling up. I won't accept that you came this far just to give up so soon!"
Kyou's mother spoke this time. "Dear, please calm down and listen to what Kyou has to say. I don't think Tomoya-kun would have gone to this extent to argue with you if it wasn't important. You can't stay on bad terms with your daughter anymore."
He refused to reply to her request and wordlessly continued his meal.
"Your stubbornness will be the end of you," she continued, ending with a frustrated huff.
"Fine," he finally replied after sifting his food around for what felt like an hour. "What did you want to tell me? I'll listen to what you have to say."
Kyou didn't respond immediately; she was stunned by his sudden change of heart. This time I squeezed her hand to reassure her that this was actually happening. She took a deep breath and gripped my hand before speaking.
"You know... when I first found out that I was going to live with you I was so happy. Mom never cared about me and I always thought that if I lived with you things would be better. I didn't mind that you already remarried. If anything I thought that this was my chance to see what a real mom should be like.
"But I always felt like you never loved me. Every time I tried to talk to you it seemed like I was only being a nuisance. I thought that you never wanted me here in the first place and when you told me that you only took custody over me because of mom's marriage it made things worse than before."
Her father sat silently, listening to his daughter's feelings for what may have been the first time in his life. He seemed to be deep in thought searching for the right words. Perhaps he already knew what to say, but was afraid of saying it aloud.
"I had no idea you felt this way," he said in a tone different from his usual commanding voice. It wasn't just his tone that was different, but his entire presence seemed changed as well. "When I learned that I either had to take you in or continue to pay child support, I didn't consider your feelings at the time. I was only thinking of my own situation. It was only until after I signed the paperwork did I realize that I was forcibly taking you away from your old life.
"I tried to keep my distance thinking that it was for the best. I figured that you didn't care whether or not I was in your life. Ryou always needed affirmation from me and your mother, but you were different. I didn't know how to cater to you as a father. You reminded me so much of my ex-wife with how strong and independent you were. It only made it harder seeing that side of you."
Kyou continued to avoid her father's gaze while she listened to his response. After taking some time to process everything he said, she finally gave her reply.
"I only acted that way so you wouldn't have to worry about me. It's not like I didn't want the same attention you gave Ryou... I was scared that you would treat me differently. I couldn't bear to feel more ostracized than I already was." Kyou hung her head as she spoke trying to avoid eye contact. She was giving her all to tell us her honest feelings. It was the first time she stepped away from the mask she always wore. "Sorry for acting so childish and fighting with you. I never considered your own circumstances."
"Don't be sorry... It's my fault for not realizing it sooner. I shouldn't have been so quick to getting angry with you. It was stupid of me to tell you that I only took you in for that reason. I had no business saying something so hurtful. Your boyfriend is right... I am a bad parent."
I winced at his remark, regretting ever saying something so rude.
"You obviously haven't seen what your ex-wife did when I still lived with her," laughed Kyou, shrugging off the heavy atmosphere as if it were never there to begin with.
He chuckled at her whimsical reply. "Well, we did divorce for a reason."
The two of them grinned at each other lightheartedly which, in a peculiar manner, served as their apology to one another.
And with that, dinner continued with a completely different atmosphere. Kyou told stories of what her mother did when she still was a little girl sending the table into fits of laughter. The way she spoke made it seem as if the past was no longer weighing down on her. This was the first time she has felt accepted by her parents; I couldn't be happier seeing her so content.
Things weren't perfect just yet, but they were off to a great start repairing their relationship.
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Kyou leaned against me with her arm interlocked around mine as we watched a rerun of an anime before heading to sleep. We had just returned from her parent's house a few hours ago after enjoying dinner and conversation with them. Things had ended on a much better note than it did the last time we visited; we were even invited over for dinner next month. In fact, her father and I were able to apologize for what we had rudely said before parting ways.
There was something different about Kyou since we came back. I knew why, obviously, but I couldn't place my finger on exactly what about her had changed. At the very least, it was a pleasant change that had occurred.
"You know Tomoya, something is different about you."
Kyou was looking up at me while still resting her head on my shoulder. For an odd reason I was taken back by how attractive she was holding onto me like this.
After gathering my composure with a few clearings of my throat I managed a reply.
"I was just thinking the same thing about you."
"Well, I did finally just make amends with my dad. I would hope that I seemed different after something so life changing." Her playful sarcasm had an unusually sweet tang to it. "But you really do seem different today."
"I don't think I acted much different from my usual self."
I had lied, of course, but I couldn't stop myself from desiring to see where this conversation was heading. Kyou was never slow to catch on, but this time she played along rather than jokingly chide me for trying to outwit her.
"You may have not thought much of it, but speaking up to my dad the way you did was pretty daring."
She was drawing with her finger on my chest as she spoke, sending nervous tingles down my back.
"You think so? I did promise that I was going to be there when you were in need," I replied slightly stumbling over my words as I got lost trying to decipher what she had been writing.
"I definitely do think so." The way the words had left her lips made my breathing uneasy. "If it weren't for you I would have never been able to say what I needed to him. I don't think I would have ever been able to recover if things continued the way they were going. Thank you for keeping your promise Tomoya."
"It was the least I could do after everything you've done for me."
I was having difficulty concentrating on the conversation any longer. It wasn't that I didn't care for what she was saying; if anything I was overjoyed hearing her gratitude. But I was becoming completely distracted by other thoughts.
"I know things are still a little awkward between us, but..." Her voice trailed and for the first time in our conversation she veered her gaze away from mine. "—but would it be okay if I kissed you? As a thank you, of course..."
I gently brushed her violet hair behind an ear revealing her flushed complexion that she had tried to hide. While she was still looking the other way, I brought my lips to hers and carefully laid her back without leaving the soft touch of her lips. We backed away slightly to catch our breath. Her pupils had begun to dilate and I became lost in that sea of violet.
The chilling sensation of her cold hand under my shirt woke me up from my dream-like trance.
I was getting ahead of myself by giving into my urges and desires so easily. I wanted her right now; I couldn't deny that fact. But the uncomfortable truth was that I was pushing Kyou into something she may not want just yet.
She had said she wanted to kiss me, nothing more than that.
I know she would let me if I started it, but the thought that this may be too much for her right now stabbed at the back of my mind. I wouldn't know what to do with myself if this ended up just hurting her more. All my efforts today would have been wasted.
"Stop Kyou, we can't do this."
Startled from my sudden remark she immediately withdrew her hand.
"Did I do something wrong..?"
"No, I did." I squeezed my eyes shut in anger with myself. "I shouldn't have taken it this far."
"It's fine––" Kyou pulled me back down towards her and pecked a quick kiss on my lips. "You aren't doing anything wrong if I'm letting you."
"That's exactly what's wrong." I pushed myself off of her again. "You're only letting me. You never said you wanted this too."
"What are you talking about... I do want this," she replied with enough hesitation in her voice that she couldn't even fool herself into believing it. "You want me though, right..?"
"Of course I do... but not like this. I want our next time to be when you wholeheartedly believe that I love you. I won't accept it any other way. I'm not going to hurt you again. Ever."
I had said the last word with so much emotion that her eyes widened from surprise.
After a few moments of letting my words settle, Kyou unexpectedly pulled me into her embrace and affectionately kissed me.
"If you're deliberately doing all this to make me fall in love with you more, I'll have you know... it's working."
While smiling at her sudden reaction, I rolled over on my side still embracing her and accidentally laid down on the remote so that the channel changed to one of those weird late night game shows. We both looked up at the television screen simultaneously and grinned. We completely forgot that we were watching something before this happened.
"I think I'll go make some tea before we sleep, want some?"
"Sure, that sounds nice."
Kyou placed a light kiss on my cheek before getting up to boil the kettle of water.
As she did that, I took the opportunity to check my phone to see if I had any messages since I hadn't bothered looking all day. Yoshino had sent me an e-mail a few hours ago asking if Kyou and I had any plans for Sunday tomorrow. I didn't have to reply to know what he was going to ask next.
"Hey Kyou, do you want to visit Fuko in the hospital tomorrow with Yoshino and Kouko?"
"Yeah, why not. What's the occasion?"
"Fuko woke up from her coma."
Kyou spun around immediately and stared at me as if I was a crazy person.
"What—! How can you say it so nonchalantly?! When did she recover?"
"Some time in the early afternoon today. I, uh, sort of forgot to mention it since we were so focused on the dinner."
"That's great! We definitely should go to congratulate her." Kyou sat back down next to me and leaned against my shoulder. "Oh, we need to get her flowers or something pretty."
"We can stop by somewhere on our way over." I had just finished e-mailing Yoshino back that we were planning on visiting Fuko with them. "—And sent."
Kyou seemed to be thinking over something to herself. She had stayed quiet for a few minutes and was blankly staring at the television screen. After some time she finally said what was on her mind.
"Why does the thought of Fuko waking up keep reminding me of a wooden star? I can't think of any good reason why though." Kyou shook her head and laughed. "Don't mind me, I think I just need to get some sleep."
She was beginning to remember the days we had helped Fuko with the wedding. For reasons unknown to me, I have never forgotten about Fuko even after her existence had faded into obscurity and rumor for the rest of the world. It came to me as a surprise that she was able to recall that much about her years later.
"You mean a starfish, right?"
"Yeah... a starfish," replied Kyou uncertain why she had thought the sculpture was a star in the first place. She was slowly piecing the memories back together. "This might have been a dream or something, but I clearly remember helping Fuko pass out her starfish at the Founder's Festival. But there's no way that's possible. She's been in the hospital for nearly half a decade now."
"Do you remember what the starfish were for?" I asked hoping to stimulate her memories further.
"A wedding, I think." She grimaced trying to make sense of it all. "I don't get it. I'm positive that the starfish were for Yoshino-san and Ibuki-sensei's wedding, but Fuko was already hospitalized at the time. So why do I keep getting the feeling that she was there?"
I ruffled her hair and pulled her closer into my embrace.
"You'll think I'm insane for saying this, but you are right. I still don't know why, but she was definitely there."
"I believe you. Well, I don't think you're lying to me, at least." She did a double take and glared at me with judging eyes. "... or are you? I'll have you know, I'm very confused right now and not in the mood to be toyed with."
"I'm not! Even if I was, you would somehow find the upper hand and reverse the situation as usual."
Her expression shifted to a playful grin as she giggled, leaving me with no option other than to join her. I would continually deny it if this came to light, but I had fallen head over heels in love with that smile.
"Do you think Fuko will remember the time we spent with her back then?" asked Kyou innocently as she fidgeted with her ribbon. "She worked so hard for her sister's wedding... it would be kind of sad if she didn't."
I felt inconsiderate for not thinking of that possibility. Fuko was an odd one, but she had acted selflessly in hopes of making her sister's dream come true. It definitely would be sad if she never knew how happy she had made Kouko that day. I wasn't sure how to appropriately respond.
"I guess we'll know for certain tomorrow."
Kyou yawned and shifted herself into a more comfortable position next to me. I glanced down at my watch and realized we were up way past our usual bedtime. We hadn't even paid attention to what was playing on TV the entire time.
"Yeah, I guess you're right," she replied slowly dozing off.
Tonight was ending no different than it usually did. Kyou would suddenly nod off and I'd end up tucking her into bed. It was comforting to know that the day would come to an end like this.
I gingerly brushed her hair with my fingers careful not to stir her as I waited for her to fall asleep completely. Sitting next to her like this was kind of romantic.
I felt tempted to fall asleep next to her like this for once.
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Kyou and I were patiently waiting outside Fuko's room at Hikarizaka Regional Hospital as the doctor's continued their examination inside. We arrived a little under an hour ago after purchasing a bouquet of flowers at a nearby shop. If I had known we were going to sit idly for the past hour I would have considered eating breakfast before rushing out the door. The barren look on Kyou's face probably meant that she agreed with me.
To pass the time, I fiddled around with a wooden starfish that had remained from the many we had carved a few years back. It had been packed away in a cardboard box along with an assortment of other odd items and trinkets I've collected over time. I figured that if it didn't jog her memory it would at least serve as a nice gift along with the flowers.
After about fifteen minutes, which felt more like a few hours in this sterile waiting room, Fuko's attending physicians had finally left the room followed by Yoshino who beckoned us with a wave to come in.
"Thanks for taking the time to visit," he greeted as we met him at the door to her room. Kouko welcomed us with a warm smile; she was sitting by her sister's side holding her hand. Fuko had already fallen asleep shortly after the doctors left.
"How's she been doing?" I asked while placing the starfish and bouquet on the table nearby.
"According to the doctor she will have to undergo physical therapy for a few months before she can live at home with us. Even then she will have to be closely monitored until they can completely say she's recovered."
It had just occurred to me how fragile Fuko looked as she rested in bed. Spending the last five years in the hospital had atrophied her strength and muscle mass. I felt like she might break if I touched her. The Fuko we had known looked as if she was only in her early teens, but the one in front of me right now appeared to be around my age. I honestly hadn't expected her to change much physically so this came as a surprise.
"Nee-chan, can I have something to drink?" mumbled Fuko as she awoke from her slumber.
Despite her physical appearance, her speech mannerisms were still no different than that of someone much younger. However, it made sense if waking up from a coma meant returning to exactly where you left off mentally.
We had taken the effort to come all this way to visit her but I couldn't think of a single word to say. Congratulating her seemed a little inappropriate in her case. Kyou seemed as lost for words as I was. She had taken to twirling a lock of her hair around a finger waiting for me to say something first.
"It's good to see that you're doing well." The words left my mouth awkwardly as if in a forced manner. I was starting to reconsider my approach to create conversation.
"Thanks, but who are you?" she asked in a manner so innocent that I couldn't hold it against her. This Fuko had no way of knowing who I was since she had already been hospitalized by the time I met her counterpart.
"Ah, right... I'm Tomoya Okazaki."
I gestured for Kyou to introduce herself as well so that I wasn't suffering alone.
"Kyou Fujibayashi, pleased to meet you," she continued, adding a polite bow.
Fuko stared at us with a confused expression in contemplation. She sat up and leaned in closer as if doing so would have made things easier to understand.
"Do I know you two from somewhere?"
This Fuko is a completely different person from the one back then. It wasn't possible that she could have remembered us.
"I guess I just have one of those familiar looking faces."
"No, I do know you. I just didn't recognize you since you're much older."
"What do you mean..?"
The possibility that she somehow remembered our high school days had presented itself before us. Even though I knew that it was useless, I still insisted on hoping that she would.
"You went to junior high school with me, of course."
"Ah..."
I forced a few laughs and a smile. It hurt more than I thought it would learning that she doesn't remember what happened. Almost like meeting an old friend whom you cherished, but years later they don't recognize or remember you at all. It was that kind of empty ache.
"Sorry, I don't remember to be honest. Anyway, these are gifts from us." I directed her gaze over to the wooden starfish and bouquet of flowers resting on the table beside her. "Someone told me that you liked starfish a lot."
Her eyes lit up as she childishly grabbed the sculpture. "Yes... yes I do."
The sound of knocking resounded from behind us, turning all of our attention towards it. The door opened and a nurse stepped into the room pushing a wheelchair in front of her. She didn't look much older than Kyou or myself. I was faintly reminded of Ryou's nursing endeavors and how she would soon be in the same position as the woman in front of us.
"I'm sorry for interrupting, but we need to take Ibuki-san down to the physical rehabilitation center for an exam. If you would like, you are welcome to stay in the waiting room in the meantime. She should be back just before lunch in an hour."
"That's fine, thank you for letting us know," replied Yoshino courteously with a nod. "I think we'll take this opportunity to eat a late breakfast."
Kyou tugged on my sleeve fervently, nodding in agreement. The sudden painful rumbling in my stomach was completely okay with the idea as well.
I assisted Yoshino and the nurse with carrying Fuko into the wheelchair. Judging from how light she was as we carried her, I understood completely why she still needed to be in the hospital. She was having trouble supporting herself with her feet even with us holding onto her. These next few months were not going to be pleasant as she relearned how to walk and do basic things again.
Kyou held open the door so that the nurse could wheel Fuko outside into the hallway. We followed closely behind while Kouko and Yoshino gave their farewells saying that they would be waiting for her when she finished.
I had suddenly become a complete stranger to someone I once held dearly. It couldn't be helped considering our circumstances. I was just having difficulty swallowing it.
"We had just arrived too," I began hoping to stir conversation to take my mind off of things. We had just exited the hospital through the front doors leading to the parking lot. "At least we were able to give her the flowers and starfish."
"Oh, how did you know about the starfish anyhow Tomoya-kun?" asked Kouko who had thought she was the only person who knew that about her sister.
"Not sure, just a hunch I guess." We never told her that Fuko was the reason why we knew about her wedding plans. She was under the assumption that Nagisa had found out somehow and was interested in helping. "Anyway, where should we eat?"
"There's that family restaurant down the road in that direction," replied Yoshino pointing east down the hill. "You can follow behind us if you don't know the area Kyou. We parked just over there."
"Kyou-chan!" exclaimed Kouko suddenly, startling all three of us so much that we nearly jumped. "I was so caught up with Fuko that I never had a chance to tell you that the kindergarten principal wants to meet you! Yu-kun, you two have your boy talk while we discuss important stuff."
I smirked at Yoshino from hearing his nickname called out publicly, which he could only happily accept since Kouko held him on a leash shorter than mine with Kyou. My only saving grace was that Kyou didn't have a nickname for me.
"Yes dear..." Yoshino gripped my right shoulder knowing full well that it was my injured side as he pulled me to the side. "Let's have our boy talk, Tomoya."
"That set me back years of progress Yu-kun," I chided while rubbing my recently sore shoulder.
"Shut up." He shook his head in shame. "So, how did everything go with Kyou's parents?"
"Unexpectedly good. I wouldn't say it was resolved entirely, but things are way better than before. Your advice yesterday came in handy, to be honest."
"Great to hear," smiled Yoshino patting me on my better shoulder. "Are things starting to work out between you two? She didn't seem bothered by standing next to you so closely."
I hadn't noticed it myself, actually. Last night was the closest she's been since our date.
"Yeah, I think they are. Things are still a bit awkward romantically, but we're getting along fine."
"Good, good. I wanted to ask since I won't be at work for a few days so I can help take care of Fuko. You'll have to work alone in the meantime. Do you still remember the routes from before winter?"
"Yeah, I've memorized them. I'm sure I can handle it on my own for now."
"Yu-kun," called Kouko making her husband cringe again. "Are you two ready?"
"Yes dear..."
I caught up to Kyou who had already begun to fasten her helmet waiting for her bike to warm up. She was still smiling from Kouko's news and smiled even brighter at me when she noticed my arrival.
"I can't believe that they already want to hire me before even meeting me!" Kyou attacked me with a hug, placing her helmet aside. "They want to know how soon I can start helping. They said if I do well they'd even pay me for the days I work!"
I lifted her off the ground joining in her mini celebration. "I'm happy for you! And you even told me that you'd never get hired. You're all grown up now."
"Hey, I'm older than you."
"Of course you are. You should already know that I'm only attracted to older women." Which wasn't far from the truth, actually.
"You're a weird kind of pervert," giggled Kyou as I sat her down on the bike. "I like you though."
Yoshino pulled up in his car and whistled at us. "Look at you two getting all lovey-dovey in the parking lot. Do you plan on eating breakfast or each other?" Kouko punched him in the shoulder and glared at him for being so vulgar.
Kyou and I turned away from each other ashamed from being caught.
"We'll follow behind," called Kyou as she continued putting on her helmet, which I did as well taking my seat behind her.
We drove out of the parking lot, down the hill to the older part of Hikarizaka where I grew up. The further we followed them the more familiar I was becoming with the surrounding area. If we turned left up the hill ahead you would be within a few blocks Hikarizaka Private High School. Going straight for a while would lead to my old neighborhood. Making a right down the hill would take you to Furukawa Bread... and we did exactly that.
We passed by the nearby park and store quickly, but I couldn't help but turn my face away in fear of being recognized. Although Kyou has reached good terms with her family, I've only let things progress worse with my own; that is if they'd still even consider me family.
I never cleared up with Sanae who Kyou was that day. I needed to do so before this got further out of hand. The only question was how to go about doing so. Do I lie to her and say that Kyou is just a friend? That would probably make things worse when she finds out the truth later. But if I immediately come out and tell her the truth she would just be furious with me.
I had no other choice but to just deal with it when the time came. There were too many variables to have a plan for something like this. The only thing I had to make certain of was that Kyou doesn't know about it. Everything has been going so well for her that bringing this up would crush her high spirits. It would be better to tell her when I know Sanae's response.
.
.x.
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"This really was a bad idea after all."
I was sitting alone in the park nearby Furukawa Bread where I watched Nagisa recite the lines to her play that day long ago. I've spent the last thirty minutes finding some way each time to discourage myself at the last moment from entering the bakery. My mind was filled with questions and I feared to learn the answer to them.
It would be impossible for them to accept what I'm doing right now. I've been gone for so long that Ushio is practically their daughter now. I don't have any right to come back suddenly and ask to be part of their family again. I've known this for so long, but I still felt so obligated to fix things.
Would leaving things the way they are be worse than having to tell them the truth?
This was the question I feared the answer to the most. In the end they would be hurt whether they knew or not.
I rocked back and forth on the swing set in contemplation. If I could get them to see that Kyou has only been a positive influence, possibly they could accept our relationship. I jumped up immediately knowing that this could work.
With that little spark of courage pushing me forward, I slowly walked towards the bakery.
I stopped before the glass door to take a deep breath knowing that once I went in there was no turning back. It wasn't too late at all just to go back home and live life normally. There wasn't a reason for me to feel so obligated, right?
Suddenly, the image of Ushio running towards me through the snow came to mind. And with that thought alone I entered the store no longer chained by uncertainty.
Sanae was too preoccupied with filling the shelves full of her freshly baked creations to immediately take notice of my entry. I call them 'creations' because referring to them as bread would be insulting to their edible cousins. At any rate, it was relieving to see that things hadn't changed much in that regard.
"Good morning, Sanae-san."
She jumped back startled by my sudden greeting. Her eyes stared at me unsure if I was truly standing before her. They were subtly aged, but her face nonetheless remained youthful. It reminded me that I wasn't the only one deeply affected by losing Nagisa.
"Tomoya-kun... good morning." Her remark seemed more of a question than pleasantry. "It's been a while. Have you been well?"
"Much better these days, honestly. Is right now a bad time?"
"No! Not at all!" replied Sanae immediately as if saying yes would have sent me away. Placing the tray down to free her hands, she proceeded to dust the flour that coated her apron. "Did you want to talk about something?"
"Yeah, is Akio here? I wanted to talk to him as well."
"He's out with Ushio getting groceries. Should we wait for him?"
I felt somewhat relieved to know that. There's no telling what would have happened if he learned the truth. It might be better for him to hear it from Sanae; for my sake at least.
"No, that's fine. Has she been well?"
"Yes, she's starting to say simple words now..."
Her voice trailed. I was certain that she remembered what had happened on Nagisa's anniversary as well. It wasn't a pleasant memory for either of us.
Both of us were lost for words. It couldn't be helped; this wasn't the sort of thing that one could just shrug off. I already knew that this conversation was heading in this direction, so there was no point in trying to lighten the atmosphere.
"I actually wanted to talk to you about that day, Sanae-san."
She looked at me plainly, already expecting that this was the reason for my visit.
"I've finally come to terms with Nagisa's passing. I couldn't bring myself to visit her alone so I asked an old friend of ours to go with me."
"So she was just a friend?" asked Sanae doubting Kyou was only that.
"Kyou was a classmate of Nagisa and I during high school. She helped us start the Theater Club and put together the play along with our other friends. It seemed appropriate asking her to visit Nagisa with me after everything we had been through as a group."
"You didn't answer my question Tomoya," she interjected flatly. "Is that woman just a friend to you?"
Her words were profoundly abrasive; she had even dropped the 'kun' honorific from my name. I admit that it didn't come to me as a surprise. After all, this sort of reaction was to be expected.
"If I was able to say yes we wouldn't be having this conversation in the first place."
She solemnly mulled over my words. "Then what exactly is she to you?"
"Truthfully... someone I have unexpectedly fallen in love with over the last few months."
I was prepared for Sanae to be furious with me at the very least, but she remained expressionless. Then again, what was an appropriate reaction to hearing that your son-in-law had fallen in love with another woman after losing your daughter only a year ago? Maybe it was selfish of me to think that doing this was okay in the first place.
"Was that all you came here for..?" she asked after remaining silent for some time.
I didn't have an answer for her. It was true that I came here to tell them this was all for Ushio and our family, but what did I expect to gain from it? Telling them the truth would only make things worse than it already was. It would be better to just carry the burden alone than have them suffer any more than they already have.
"So that's your answer, huh? Well, you should be the one to tell Akio."
"Sure," was all I managed to say.
It was pathetic that I did all this without clearly thinking things through. Telling her that I wanted to help raise Ushio after everything that's happened would have only broken her heart even more. I already took away her daughter; she didn't need me to take her granddaughter as well.
I didn't have to be the person to raise Ushio. She had the best grandparents one could ask for.
"Can I buy one before I go?" I asked, pointing at the bread she had recently shelved. "I haven't had bread from here in a while."
"It's on me," replied Sanae placing one in my hand.
I took a bite out of the bread which was still fresh from the oven.
"You know, this is the first time you've volunteered to eat my bread since the day I met you. How does it taste?"
"Bitter," I answered with a morbid smile before walking out of the store.
.
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A/N:
I would first like to start by thanking you for reading this far. Many of you have been followers for quite a while and I am honored to have such wonderful readers. You have all kept me motivated to keep writing to the best of my ability with your kind words and dedication to the story. I hope this chapter did not disappoint you all.
It has been my greatest desire for a while to finally introduce this part of the story. After deciding that the story wasn't going to end around chapter eleven, I devised a plot that went beyond Tomoya and Kyou's relationship extending to characters like Yoshino and Kouko who played a smaller role in the original. The long awaited encounter with the Furukawa family is finally about to happen (I know right? I'm excited too). I loved writing a love story, but I want this to be a human story that everyone can relate to, even if you never experienced what the characters are going through.
Unfortunately, I must postpone chapter 15 for some time. I expect to have it finished near the end of April. I had only planned to be absent for most of March, but I will be busy until early to mid April. My job is requiring me to leave for an extended period of time where I will have no access to my writing materials. Rest assured that this is not an indefinite hiatus like before, but a postponement on my scheduled release of April 15.
Again, I apologize! Thank you for your understanding! And thank you for reading and thinking this story good enough to keep doing so!