Okay so I'm back! Hopefully, this is a more regular update than usual! (I wouldn't get used to it, time is scarce I am very sorry.) So… The Orc incident. Forgive me if it's a wee bit shaky, it's a hard one. The Hobbit does not belong to me :'(.
Khuzdul
Sindarin
Hobbitish
…
Bilbo, Ren, Sago, Gandalf and the Dwarves all ran as fast as they could along the uneven terrain. With his enhanced sight, Bilbo could see that the direction they were running in headed straight off a cliff. Using the few seconds they had before they got there, Bilbo did his best to formulate a plan. When they reached the edge and some of the Dwarves nearly tasted the sweet flavour of immediate death, Bilbo shouted as loudly as his Hobbity lungs could handle. "Up into the trees! HURRY!" The Dwarves didn't seem care that it was him giving the order for they leapt into the branches of the pines around them as if Wargs were snapping at their heels. Oh, and there were Wargs snapping at their heels.
Perched at the top of a tall pine, Bilbo turned to Ren and Sago who were sitting on a branch next to him and practically tore into them both, uncaring of the pandemonium below. "You two BOTH have some serious explaining to do! Ren, what were you even thinking? Leaving Rivendell before you were given the say-so from Lord Elrond - don't say that he did you look like death warmed over even I can see that - running straight into the Goblin tunnels with that fleabag of a wizard, and nearly getting killed by a goblin, that slice on your leg nearly hit a major artery, I'll get Oin to look at it once we're out of this palava -" The tree they were in tilted and the three of them leapt onto the next one, Bilbo not pausing in his rant. "And Sago! You said that you were going to stay with her until she was better; does she look better to you? ALSO, you promised me that you would stay out of trouble and if the wizard tried to lead you anywhere you would wait for him to come back! NOT GO WITH HIM FOR TOOK'S SAKE!"He inhaled deeply, his tirade finally finished, face flushed and head pounding.
Sago looked very sheepish whereas Ren looked more as if she was fighting to stay conscious. More trees toppled and they all leapt from branch to branch until the entire company was balanced upon one tree. Several of the Orcs and Wargs turned around and the leader of the entire sorry affair crested the bank. Bilbo glared. 'Azog you idiot how in Arda am I supposed to explain my way out of this one?' He was signing furiously from the top of the tree, eyes glinting. Azog looked at him and somehow managed to blanch, despite having pure white skin. Bilbo could think about that discovery later because right now he had to save everyone's sorry behinds. 'Okay, first of all, I know that you don't actually want to kill him so the Eagles are going to turn up any minute now right?' Azog directed the Wargs to attack the tree while nodding briefly. 'Alright. So if we carry on with that joke we have of letting the mothball wizard believe that he can summon the Eagles by moth-' moth honestly, '- then we can make him think he saved us and get out of here.' Azog rolled his eyes. 'As if I hadn't had a plan beforehand cabbages.'
'Don't call me that!' Bilbo huffed to himself endearingly. The formalities between the Archthain and the Orc Chieftain had been thrown away the second those two became friends. Bilbo was about to cast the spell that would give Gandalf a little mental shove into whispering orders to a convenient moth when his stomach dropped… along with the tree.
Next thing he knew, the tree was hanging over the edge of the cliff. Finally noticing how the ground was on fire, Sago later explained to him how everyone else had been throwing flaming pinecones at the Wargs, he quickly cast his spell before beginning to observe his surroundings. Gandalf had just finished having his little gossip session with the moth and was now using his staff to catch Dori and poor poor Ori (it is really not that Dwarf's day) who had fallen off of the tree. Kili was sitting in a very painful looking position, Bombur was sitting on Bofur's left leg and Thorin was marching down the branch with his sword - wait WHAT!?
Thorin was marching down the branch with his sword in his hand and looking like he was about to murder somebody. And that somebody was the 7 foot tall Orc with a blade for one arm, holding a ridiculously large mace on the other hand and sitting astride an even more ridiculously large Warg. Fantastic.
Three minutes later Thorin was practically unconscious on the floor and Bilbo was standing in front of the Dwarven king's prone body wondering how in the name of every prize tomato in Hobbiton he got himself into this situation.
Azog grinned however to the untrained eye it might look like a murderous smirk. See, Bilbo thought, this is why you find it hard to be approachable. His large and irritating friend then decided to order his minions to kill him leaving Bilbo to attempt to defend himself with his miniature toothpick of a sword. He had noticed Azog's minor signal of 'They're unturned' as the minions approached so he had very little qualms about jumping onto the first Orc and stabbing it 28 times. So it might have been a little overboard but he was pretending to be an untrained fighter and he had to keep his cover. The rest of the Orcs rushed towards him and were thankfully intercepted by a horde of Dwarves that had FINALLY managed to get their behinds off of the tree.
Just as the battle was heating up, literally and figuratively, there was fire everywhere, the wonderful, amazing, spectacular, fantastic, superb Eagles arrived in order to end his misery and take him somewhere where he could SLEEP. Leaping happily off the cliff onto an Eagle's back, he turned around just enough to sign one final message to Azog. 'You owe me three barrels of Sauron's coffee, I'm going to need it.'
…
I thought that that would be a fun ending! I hope I did alright with the Orc's because that honestly had me for a bit. So next chapter we have The Hug™, Beorn and possibly the beginning of Mirkwood. OH MY GOSH and by them, we'll have finished the first movie I'm so excited! So I'll see you for that I guess! Sorry it's shorter than the last one :)
FallohideDragon