Grace of an Angel

by JamJar98

Jethro Gibbs never thought he'd be a single parent to his baby girl Kelly. After a rough start he finally thought he knew what he was doing. His whole world gets turned upside down when a fiesty woman walks into their lives and change everything, maybe for the better. *Jibbs* AU. Complete.

14. Redemption

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you recognize. Except for the mistakes those are mine.

A/N: As always thank you for the lovely reviews, they always make my day. The last chapter ended on a sad note, but hopefully I remedied it with this one ;) I have also decided to write a few tags to this story so be on the look when they start popping up.

Warning: There's nothing too explicit.

Enjoy*

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The bullpen was quiet, at least more quite than usual for eight in the morning. Most agents moved around quietly, the two days they had off not enough to be as well rested as they'd hoped. Maybe it had to do with the bad mood team Gibbs was in. Tim looked up from staring blankly at his monitor, trying to see if Kate was as uncomfortable as him. It wasn't rare for Gibbs to snap at them, but the amount of anger in the older man's voice had made the youngest agent shrink behind his desk.

Tim surveyed the bullpen with a sense paranoia, hoping Gibbs wouldn't sneak up behind him. Tony didn't seem to be phased by the outburst at all, he'd even returned the boss' glare. Tim checked the time on the small clock on his desk, Jenny and Ziva were supposed to be in by now. Jenny was supposed to be here along with Gibbs, she usually was even if they had a case. Looking up he met Kate's large brown eyes, she was as paranoid as he was.

Kate motioned her head towards a brooding Tony, narrowing her eyes at Tim and demanding that he talked to Tony so they could find out what was going on. Tim shook his head at her discreetly, he was far more comfortable just toughing out their moody co-workers until the day was over. Kate cleared her throat pointedly and McGee cowered further behind his desk.

Tim's eyes darted to Tony, who seemed a little more distracted than usual. Kate cleared her throat again and glared at him to just ask the question and get it over with. They both jumped slightly when Tony dropped the thick file he had in his hands.

"Is there something in you throat, Kate?" Tony snapped irately as he listened to Kate clear her throat again.

"No, I was just… we were just wondering..." Kate motioned between herself and Tim, enjoying the way Tim squirmed in his chair, clearly far more uncomfortable than she was.

"Wondering what, Kate?" Tony growled at her. "Where the other two are? I thought you weren't interested in other people's lives."

Kate gave him an exasperated look, taken aback by the hostility he showed towards her. Tim seemed to be equally surprised. Tony was the one usually snooping and joking, seeing him as grumpy and unpleasant as their boss made the both of them want to know more. Kate put down her pencil, closing her sketchpad she moved away from her desk, McGee was purposefully avoiding any confrontation.

The Italian ignored her as she stopped in front of his desk, flipping through the file he had slammed down a few seconds earlier. Kate's scowl darkened, she wasn't sure she could handle both Tony and Gibbs in a bad mood. Placing her hands flat on his desk, Kate looked Tony straight in the eye.

"What is your problem, DiNozzo?" Her voice was low and threatening.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Tony said flippantly, ignoring Kate as she glared at his bent head.

"This has got to do with Jenny and Ziva not being in today, doesn't it?" It was the only logical explanation there was.

Tony gave her a dark look and she took a step back, caught off guard by the raw emotion he had let slip. Taking a step forward again, she placed her hand over his resting on the folder. He looked up at her, his green eyes guarded again and his lips pressed together in a thin line. He looked over at McGee who was still hiding behind his computer screen, pretending he wasn't there.

"They left." He whispered more to himself than to Kate. He had accompanied Ziva to the airport, making good on her request to spend the day with her. He didn't even want to begin to think about what his relationship with Ziva had transpired into. The anger he'd felt towards Jenny had disappeared quickly when he had seen the state she was in. It was hard seeing a woman as poised as Jenny Shepard, quite literally heartbroken and in pain like he had seen her in the airport. Her eyes had been bloodshot and the little make-up that she'd worn had obviously been smeared despite her attempts to hide it.

He'd immediately directed his anger towards Gibbs. It somehow felt right blaming him, since he was the main reason Jenny had decided to leave, taking Ziva with her. He didn't have to think about what Ziva said about loving someone who didn't reciprocate the feeling. He'd seen Gibbs go though a relationship before, and that had been over before it even started. His relationship with Jenny had been significantly longer, and more serious if the failed proposal was anything to go by.

"What do you mean they left?" Kate looked confused, she didn't know anything about them leaving.

"They're not coming back!" Tony snapped at her, his cheeks flushing bright red.

"I was just asking, Tony." Kate bit back, pulling herself to her full height and glaring at him, "We're concerned, so excuse me for asking."

"We? You mean McGee has been sticking his nose in other people's business as well." Tony glared at the young agent as he hid behind his desk. He felt like snapping at everyone who wanted to nose into his business.

"Sorry, Tony, we were just concerned since you and Gibbs seemed to be equally, uhm…" Tim looked at Kate for help, but she simply raised her shoulders, "Upset."

Tony gave a mirthless laugh, the usual humour that surrounded him was missing. He nodded his head at both Tim and Kate raising an eyebrow, the look on his face somewhere between spiteful and angered. "Well, why don't you ask him why they left?" Tony growled tensely.

Jethro dropped his head against the wall behind him as he listened to his team, he knew Tony was blaming him for them leaving he'd seen it in his attitude towards him. He was blaming himself too, and his bruised ego was getting the better of him. He'd resorted to what he knew best, snapping at everyone so he could suffer on his own, he didn't need anyone, he and Kelly could manage on their own.

Taking a drink from his coffee, he stormed around the corner and into the bullpen, stopping at the corner of his desk and glaring at Tony. He could feel several sets of eyes on them, waiting to see what was going to happen next. Thinking better of it, Jethro shrugged his coat off and threw it over the bookcase. He glared at the sticky note on his monitor that had been stuck there by none other than the woman in his thoughts. Ripping the pink piece of paper off of his monitor, he dropped it in the trash can.

"Well, Kate, aren't you going to ask him?" Tony burst out, his frustration boiling over.

Jethro slammed his hand down on the desk, "There something you'd like to say, DiNozzo?" he stood from his chair rounding his desk and walking towards his senior field agent.

Tim looked at Kate who had backed away from the two men and was leaning against the divider. He didn't know whether to intervene or just leave them to sort it out themselves. There was one thing he was sure of, if he intervened he'd mostly likely be the first one to be knocked out.

"No, I don't have anything to say. But maybe you do." Tony snapped at Gibbs, his actions would have repercussions. It was something he had actually picked up from his boss, act first think later. He'd had enough time to think and the more he thought the angrier he became. His only reaction was to lash out.

Jethro balled his fists, his nostrils flaring with anger. He stepped forward and Tony took a step back.

"McGee," Kate hissed, suddenly standing right next to him. He jumped out of his chair, glaring at her for sneaking up on him, "do something."

"What am I supposed to do?" He hissed back, he didn't want to get between the two of them.

"Anything, and do it now before they kill each other." Kate whispered in his ear as the two men glared at each other.

Tim shuffled forward reluctantly, shooting Kate a glare over his shoulder for good measure. Swallowing he moved closer, catching a glimpse of Tony's face over Gibbs' shoulder. He didn't know whether he should make a stupid statement or just stand by to stop one of them swinging a fist at the other.

Jethro took a step towards Tony again, his fists balled tightly turning his knuckles white. He sensed someone behind him, not caring who it was he moved forward again, backing the young agent into the corner. It registered in the rational part of his mind that Tony wasn't at fault, he was merely caught in the middle. But he needed someone to fight with, consequences be damned.

"Special Agent Gibbs!" The voice had everyone watching the scene unfold look up at the catwalk. Jethro turned around slowly, his body tense with anger.

"In my office now! You too DiNozzo." The Director snapped at both agents, waiting for them to back away from each other. He watched the rest of the agency continue with their work, although some of them a little awkwardly.

Leon rolled his eyes and trudged back to his office, the regular bustle of the office returning. Throwing the door leading to his office open, he asked that he not be disturbed while he spoke to two of his agents. He could hear the heavy footsteps behind him, leaving his office door open he marched straight to his desk.

Leon grit his teeth as he heard Tony slam the steel door shut. He motioned for each of them to take a seat, he had to stop himself from rolling his eyes when Gibbs refused to take a seat, preferring to stand and brood. Fishing in his inside jacket pocket for a toothpick, Leon placed the piece of wood between his teeth. He was at a loss as to why exactly these two were acting like teenage girls.

Leon straightened in his chair, rolling the large leather seat closer to his desk, he rested his elbows on his desk and looked between the two men. Moving the toothpick to one side of his mouth he straightened his desk, "I don't appreciate some of my best agents disrupting the entire squad room."

"I wasn-"

"I don't want to hear it agent DiNozzo." Leon interjected quickly, he didn't have time to listen to him ramble. Looking at Gibbs he narrowed his eyes slightly, "Agent Shepard and Officer David have orders. Now if the two of you can't accept that, I might have to ask you to take a day's unpaid leave, do I make myself clear?"

"Short notice." Tony mumbled, Ziva hadn't known anything before hand.

"What's that?" Vance snapped tensely.

"DiNozzo," Jethro growled, when he looked at him he shook his head at him, the last thing he needed was Vance nagging him about keeping his team in check.

"They would have left regardless of the time they had to prepare." Leon said irately

Tony rolled his eyes, he wasn't any closer in dropping his attitude, "Can we go?"

Leon nodded, shooing the young agent away. "Not you, Gibbs." Leon abandoned his seat, closing the door behind Tony once he was well out of earshot. Leon rested his hand on the cold silver handle for a while, contemplating how much he could ask without giving too much away. Something felt off about Jenny's hiatus from undercover work, and he wanted to know what had prompted her to jump right back into it.

Turning back he simply raised an eyebrow at Jethro and motioned for him to sit down once again. It looked like he was picking up right where he had left off before the brief few days off. He'd received confirmation that his agents had landed safely in France and that they were being briefed. He waited until Gibbs took a seat in front of his desk, before moving to his own chair.

Easing back in his chair he watched Gibbs closely. Leon took the toothpick out from between his teeth, the piece of wood already starting to splinter as he chewed it. Dropping it in the trash can, he clasped his hands on the desk.

"I take it you are aware of the nature of Jenny's mission." Leon raised an eyebrow, his dark brown eyes knowing.

Jethro shrugged his shoulders, his face an emotionless mask. He didn't even know what Jenny was doing in Europe, he wasn't even aware that Ziva had left with her, he was just preparing to find her a spot on his team. He felt frustration claw at him on the inside, it wasn't his fault Ziva had gone with Jenny – it had been her own choice. He dug the tips of his fingers into the armrest of the chair, he needed to keep his head on straight.

"Do you know why she waited almost a year before taking another Op?" Asking Jethro was a last resort, he was taking advantage of the man's personal relationship with Jenny to gather information. When Gibbs didn't answer, Leon tried a different approach, "She tell you why she was going to Europe?"

Jethro tightened his hands on the armrests, "Leon, the woman left! I don't know what she's up to."

Leon looked at Gibbs in surprise, slightly taken aback by his sudden outburst. He could see the anger radiate off him as he fumed silently in his chair.

"What if I told you I find it strange that she waited this long before going on another Op."

Jethro's eyebrows knitted together. He hadn't thought much about it, he was too caught up with what had happened between him and Jenny right before she left. All he could think of was the tears and pain in her eyes as she pleaded with him to let her go. It was strange and the twinge in his gut made him sit forward, it brought back the issue of why she had simply walked away from being a lawyer – it was unlike her to do something like that.

"There's not much I can do, Leon." Jethro dropped his hands from the armrests to his lap. It was becoming clearer that he didn't actually know a whole lot about Jenny. The thought made him reflect more internally, wondering if he had preferred not knowing more about who she was, or if she had been successful in keeping him away from actually getting to know her. The whole situation came back to trust, and for some reason she didn't trust him enough to confide in him.

"Gibbs?" Vance drew him from his thoughts, he cleared his throat and looked at Leon, he'd missed half of what the director had said.

"I trust that you'll be able to give me an answer." Leon pulled a file towards him.

"You want me to invade her privacy?" Jethro sounded almost umbrageous. Given his relationship with Jenny, it felt wrong to dig through her past to see what skeletons he could dredge up. Briefly it occurred to him that, if he hadn't known her or didn't have a relationship with her, he might have dug around in her past the first chance he got. What did that say about him?

"Not in that many words." Leon frowned, put off by the agent's sudden change in demeanor, Gibbs usually jumped at the chance to gain some information. "Since it is a problem, I'll ask agent DiNozzo." He knew it was only a matter of either leverage or blackmail to get Jethro to do what he needed him to.

"No." Jethro snapped sitting forward in his chair, it was enough that he'd already been asked to snoop. The last thing he wanted was someone else finding something they shouldn't, especially DiNozzo. He would know what to do if he found something, after all he did know her or so he hoped. "I'll do it." Jethro said gruffly as he stood from his seat, indicating that their conversation was over.

Jethro grit his teeth as his knee popped the moment he started walking. The Director's voice halted him before he could storm out of the office.

"Jethro," Leon ran a hand across his face, "I'm not looking for inconsistencies." he let out a tired sigh, "The woman has a death wish, and I want you to stop her before something happens."

The atmosphere in the bullpen was crackling with tension. Everyone had watched Tony and Gibbs storm up to the Director's office and then a few minutes later watched as Tony returned alone. Tim watched Tony through narrowed eyes, waiting for the next inevitable rant, that's how he usually dealt with something that bothered him.

Tim scribbled his signature on his report, all he was waiting for was for the back elevator to ding. He'd taken the courtesy of calling Abby and summoning her up to the bullpen, because she could wrangle info out of anyone. Looking over at Kate, he knew she was bouncing her knee in anticipation of what might happen next. They were all just waiting for someone to tell them what the hell was going on.

The back elevator dinged. The clomping marched purposefully toward the bullpen, the slightest hint of panic evident in the quick strides. Abby rounded the corner, her hands on her hips, she didn't appreciate a near frantic phone call from Timmy this early in the morning. As far as she knew, they hadn't caught a case, meaning none of them could be hurt.

Abby scanned the bullpen with narrowed eyes, glaring at each of them. When no-one paid attention to her, she stomped her foot in frustration. The glare faded as she reached for one of her pigtails to twirl it around her fingers. Stomping her foot she scowled at Tim, "Timmy," she said exasperatedly, "why did you call me up here?"

Tim gave Tony a sideways glance, waiting for him to snap. Looking back at Abby, he pointed towards his down trodden co-worker. Abby gave him a strange look, he rolled his eyes pointing at Tony more aggressively, he silently willed her to talk to him.

The forensic scientist pouted slightly as she skipped to her friend's desk. Perching on the edge of his desk she glared at him until he couldn't ignore her any more. The frown deepened when she saw the conflict in his green eyes, she knew he tried hard to hide his emotions but he hadn't mastered the art of keeping his feelings out of his expressions.

Placing a comforting hand on Tony's she dropped her voice to a whisper. "Tony, what's wrong? Is it your dad?"

Tony shook his head. He caught Kate's gaze and she seemed to be worried about what was coming next, he doubted Tim had thought about Abby's reaction when she found out. Placing his other hand over hers he gave her a tight smile, knowing that she'd most likely overreact, it was best he told her before someone else did. He briefly thought of letting Gibbs tell her, but he doubted the older man would offer her comfort since he seemed to be in need of his own.

"Senior is just fine, Abs." Tony licked his lips, "Jenny and Ziva are in Europe, they have been reassigned, they left last night."

Tony let go of Abby's hand as she pulled away, her green eyes already brimming with tears. He saw the confusion on her face and he knew that she was expressing what they were all feeling. It wasn't uncommon for agents to be transferred without any warning, but Jenny and Ziva were more than just fellow agents, they were family.

"What?" Abby looked at Kate, "No, they can't just leave! They didn't even say goodbye."

"Abby, they had orders, I don't think they had much of a choice." Kate said softly, hoping to calm Abby down.

"They had a choice." Tony grumbled quietly, catching them off guard. He didn't want to accept the fact that Ziva had chosen her partner over him, but it was reality and if he had been in that same position he might have done the same. It was just easier to blame Gibbs, but he seemed to be taking it harder than he had expected, although he didn't actually show it.

"DiNozzo!" Abby snapped through her tears. They were all staring at him confused.

Tony let out a heavy sigh, checking the catwalk to make sure that Gibbs wasn't standing there. He narrowed his eyes, for the first time wondering whether he should share this with his team mates or not. It was better they knew the truth before all sorts of rumours started popping up. He wasn't exactly sure what it was like to be turned down almost immediately after a proposal, he just knew it wasn't as hard as finding out a day before the wedding. He did, however, have sympathy towards him.

"They didn't have to take the mission. They could have turned it down." Tony pursed his lips, something was bothering him about all this.

"Why did they go?" McGee broke through his thoughts, looking as perplexed as the rest.

Tony shrugged his shoulders. It was still puzzling him, Wendy had accepted his proposal even though it had taken him significantly longer to actually tell her he loved her. Although, he wasn't a single father and he did actually talk to the people around him instead of glaring.

"You know why, don't you?" Kate said almost accusingly. She knew he knew what had happened, otherwise he wouldn't have made such a scene earlier.

"He proposed, but she turned him down." The collective gasp coming from the women made him roll his eyes. He heard McGee's soft murmur of 'ouch' and nodded at his colleague, something like that could bruise any guy's ego, no matter how emotionless they could appear.

"Poor Gibbs." Abby uttered softly as she nibbled her dark bottom lip in thought.

"Gibbs!" Abby exclaimed as the man in question sauntered around the corner. She threw herself at him, wrapping him in a tight hug that could choke the breath right out of him. The insistent tap on her back made her loosen her grip, she smiled sheepishly when he stared at her a little red-faced.

"If you're quite done, DiNozzo," Jethro growled as he turned towards his agent, "get back to work."

Abby bounced after Gibbs as he walked to his desk, "You know, Gibbs. Just because Jenny turned you down doesn't mean we don't love you. Maybe she had like a lot on her mind or she's like really confused about what she wan-"

"Abby!" Jethro snapped roughly, maybe a little too roughly. He dropped his head at the hurt look Abby gave him. Closing his eyes he shook his head.

"Gibbs." Abby's lower lip quivered slightly, "I..."

"Just leave it okay, Abs?" Jethro asked gently, he didn't mean to hurt her feelings, but the looks he'd been receiving ever since stepping out of the Director's office were starting to grate on his nerves. Abby nodded and moved around to give him another hug, which he returned. He motioned for Tim to accompany her back to the lab, since he seemed to be the most concerned about her.

"I'm sorry, Boss." Tony spoke once everything had calmed down around them. He frowned when Gibbs simply shrugged at him, not even looking up from staring at nothing on his desk. He'd hoped for a quote on what rule 6 was, or even a head slap could have sufficed. He saw the concerned look Kate gave him and he ignored her. Things were going to be tense for a while.

The rest of the day seemed to pass in silence, no-one breathed a word about the desks being cleared next door. The tension had been even harder to bare as the day progressed, they had all wished for a case that would give them at least some form of a break. They were all feeling on edge and snippy, because the countless questions about why they were missing were starting to get on everyone's nerves.

Dusk was starting to settle over the city brining snow along with it. Tim glanced out the large windows, hoping that he'd still be able to go home at a reasonable hour. He was feeling more nervous than usual being the only one left in the squad room while waiting for Gibbs to return from wherever it was he had disappeared to. He'd been surprised when Gibbs had asked him to stay behind, he was hoping it was for good reason that he had to wait.

Tim smacked his lips as he looked around the quiet room. He was trying not to think about why he was still here, instead he tried finding a way he could bring the latest development into his book. The ding of the elevator had him sitting up straight in his chair.

Jethro placed a coffee cup on the corner of McGee's desk, nodding towards it. He grumbled at his probie's surprised thank you and took a seat at his desk. He flipped the file on his desk open and scanned through it.

McGee took a drink from his cup, even more surprised that his boss actually knew how he drank his coffee. Placing the cup back on his desk, he waited for Gibbs to tell him why he had to stay behind. There was no indication that he was going to say anything.

"Uh, Boss..." McGee said hesitantly, "There a reason I had to stay?" at the glare he received he swallowed heavily. "Of course there is."

Jethro slammed the file shut and switched off his desk lamp. Pulling on his coat he made his way to Tim's desk, leaning against the desk he drank from his Styrofoam cup, "There a way you can pull a file from that Internet thing you do?"

McGee frowned but nodded his head regardless, "Um, yeah sure, what is it you want?" he switched on his computer monitor. Pulling up the appropriate search engine, he looked up at Gibbs.

"A personnel file, need some background information." Jethro cleared his throat. He rolled his eyes when McGee's eyes widened slightly, "Nothings going to happen, McGee. Just… can you do it or not?"

Tim hesitated for a moment but gave a sharp nod. "Who am I looking for?"

"Jennifer Shepard." Jethro took a drink from his cup.

Tim's eyes widened slightly, but he typed in the search anyway. "There anything you looking for in particular, Boss?"

"Family, her father's side. Know her mother, nothing interesting there." Jethro said gruffly. He trusted McGee to keep the information to himself.

Tim tried to hide his curiosity. He found it more than just strange that he had to look up Jenny's family, she must have told Gibbs about them somewhere in their relationship. Keeping his questions to himself he sifted through all the files until he found the right one.

Jethro ran his eyes over the screen scanning the information. He stopped reading and moved back up the page, reading over the name again.

Colonel Jasper Shepard.

He straightened and frowned, trying to remember why it sounded so familiar, Jenny had never mentioned her father's name.

"Mike?"

"What Probie?" Jethro paged through his notes trying to find the page with the name of the Colonel.

"You know an Army Colonel… Shepard, I think?"

"Army Colonel?" Mike slapped Jethro on the back of the head, "You're a Marine. What you askin' about the Army for?"

Jethro rubbed the back of his head tenderly, that last hit seemed a lot harder than the others he'd received over the last few months. There wasn't any particular reason for him actually asking, just something about the man seemed to draw his attention.

"He's some big shot at the Pentagon." Mike growled as he blew smoke into the air once again, shaking his head, "Now stop asking questions before a make you walk back to Head Quarters."

McGee stared at Gibbs with wide eyes. He'd been calling his name for the last minute and he still didn't get a response. "Boss!"

"What, McGee?" Jethro bit back a smile as the young agent jumped slightly.

"Should I print this?"

"No, find Colonel Jasper Shepard's file and print that." Jethro could see the worry in the kid's eyes but he did as he was told. It was a good place to start since Jenny refused to talk about him.

The search for the Colonel's file hadn't taken too long, and after he had assured McGee that this was in a sense legal he had printed the file that he'd found after hacking into the CIA. He'd sent McGee on his way, he didn't want to get home too late and miss spending some time with Kelly. She had been upset when she had realised that Jenny wasn't there.

Jethro rolled his neck from side to side, his eyes burning with concentration, there were a few files he had to sign off on before doing anything else. The house was quiet despite the toddler and dog sprawled out on the couch. He dropped his head in his hands, he'd been able to distract himself the whole day, but the moment he stepped through the front door the weight of the situation came crashing down on him.

She hadn't been in the kitchen busy baking something or making dinner. His bedroom had been void of her clothes laying around or her handbag thrown haphazardly on the bed, with its content spilled over the sheets. There had been no tender kiss the moment he'd come through the door, the warmth and peace had seeped out of everything the moment she'd walked away.

Jethro shook his head, pulling at his hair. He felt someone watching him. Looking to his right he looked straight into a pair of sad blue orbs. Sitting up straight he pulled Kelly onto his lap, cradling her against him. He pushed a few stray curls off her forehead, pressing a kiss to her temple he cuddled her against him. He frowned when she didn't smile or kiss him back.

"Honey," He whispered softly, wiping her cheeks as a few tears escaped, "are you missing Jenny?"

Kelly gave him a nod, unable to speak as she sobbed. Burying her face in his chest, he held her close. He felt his heart break all over again as her tiny body shook as she cried, she didn't understand why she couldn't see Jenny, or even talk to her over the phone. He had never really thought about how attached Kelly was to Jenny, he'd also never thought that she would be walking away.

"Daddy," Kelly whimpered as she struggled through her tears. She wiped at her cheeks, trying to stop the tears from coming. Her lower lip started to quiver again, and more tears rolled down her cheeks. Pressing her small face into her father's chest, she wiped her face on the soft material of his sweatshirt. Jethro adjusted Kelly to sit up, patting her back softly as she snuggled into him.

"Daddy, can we call Jenny?" Kelly took a shuddering breath, looking at her father hopefully.

Jethro grit his teeth, touching his finger to the tip of her nose he smiled at her a little sadly, smoothing her hair down he cleared his throat, "Kel, honey," Jethro took a deep breath. Lifting Kelly onto the table, he made sure she looked him in the eye as he tried to explain.

"Kelly, we can't call Jenny. She left for another country." Kelly's brow knitted together as she listened to her father.

"We always call Jenny when she goes away." Kelly pouted as she crossed her arms over her chest.

Jethro sighed dropping his head against Kelly's knee gently. He needed to dig deep to find the strength to stay calm and explain everything in a way Kelly could understand. It was more painful than he thought it would be, whether it had to do with the unexpected way everything had ended or the fact that he couldn't see something was wrong between them– he didn't know.

"Kelly, Jenny left last night. We can't talk to her any more, she doesn't want to talk to us." Jethro could see the frustration cloud his daughter's eyes, she wasn't understanding and he didn't know if he could explain it in a simpler way.

"Liar!" Kelly accused meanly, her lower lip jutting out, "She's coming back, I told her I'll wait for her." Kelly twisted away from her father, preferring to look at something other than him.

Jethro let out a frustrated sigh and sat back in his chair, crossing his arms over his chest, and glaring at noting in particular. He was finding it hard to direct his anger at something, he tried more than once to hate Jenny but he couldn't do it, maybe because he knew he could never hate her – but he sure as hell was angry with her. The things she said, about using him and the secrets they kept from each other didn't bother him as much as it should.

What got to him was the fact that she thought he didn't love her, it had sucker punched him right in the gut. He was probably being a little too melodramatic about it, but it had caused his thoughts to run in all directions.

"I want Jenny," Kelly whined, her eyes brimming with tears again, "Daddy, bring her back!"

"She's never coming back!" Jethro snapped before he could think. He ground his teeth together as Kelly looked at him in shock, she glared at him through her tears and manoeuvred herself off of the table. "Kelly, I'm sorry." Jethro frowned when Kelly simply ignored him and thundered back to the couch.

He listened to her sob quietly, occasionally hiccuping through the tears. Yoda was whining softly as she cried, trying to find the source of her distress. He hadn't meant to take his frustration out on her, but his patience had been worn thin though the day. Looking down at his feet he saw Yoda walk towards him, his usually pointy ears drooping a little. The terrier looked up at him and barked, looking towards the couch where Kelly was laying and barking again.

Jethro pulled himself to his feet. Kicking a few stray toys out of his way, he dropped to his knees in front of the couch, placing a comforting hand on Kelly's back. He felt rather than heard her groan of displeasure, and let her pull away from him. He was at a loss with what to do. He poked her side softly, knowing she'd squirm around because it tickled.

"Daddy, no." Kelly squirmed away from him, trying to hide her smile. Sitting up she frowned at him, crawling towards him she threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. "Sorry, Daddy."

Jethro held her close, "I know you're upset, honey." he rubbed her back softly.

"Did Jenny go away because of me?" Kelly hiccuped again.

Jethro pulled away, looking at her almost confused, he lifted her chin so she could look at him, "Kelly, I want you to understand that this isn't your fault." he brushed the few stray tears off her cheek. "Jenny loves you very much. We're just in the middle of something right now."

"Is she coming back?" Kelly's eyes lit up in hope that the redhead would return.

Jethro gave her a tight smile, he couldn't promise her that Jenny would come back when he knew there was almost no possibility of that happening. He pulled his face slightly and shrugged, he'd rather not answer her. "We'll talk about it later, okay?"

"Okay." Kelly huffed dejectedly. "I just miss her."

Jethro nodded and pulled her back into his embrace, letting her cry against his shoulder.

He sat with her for a while, both simply drawing comfort from the other. Jethro watched the cartoon characters as they raced across the TV screen. Kelly was quiet, far more upset than he'd thought she was. He sighed again. It was the first time there was anyone in their lives resembling a form of stability for them. Jenny had been – in a rather clichéd way – the motherly figure Kelly never really had.

There was no doubt that Jenny loved Kelly, he'd realised that when she had dropped by unexpectedly just so she could say goodbye to Kelly. He wondered briefly if it had anything to do with her childhood, having seen her mother walk away, maybe she thought that saying goodbye changed the fact that she was walking away. Then again, Kelly wasn't her child – he was merely hoping that she hurt as much as he did.

Hoping? It definitely said something about how much of a bastard he really was. Jethro rubbed his forehead in annoyance. Of course he hoped she was in pain. She was forcing him to face himself in the mirror and ask whether he had actually done something to make her stay.

Someone had to know of her agenda to just walk away from everything they had tried to build over the last few months. Ziva would know but she wasn't here.

Noemi. She'd most definitely know about Jenny leaving, and since she hadn't stormed through his front door demanding to know where she was, he could only assume that she had been a part of this.

Jethro listened as Kelly's breathing evened out slowly as she started dozing off. Grabbing the fleece Marine blanket on the back of the couch, he bundled her inside it and lifted her to rest against him. Switching off the TV, he moved back to the dinning room. Pulling the printed file out of his backpack, he narrowed his eyes, contemplating whether he wanted to invade Jenny's privacy or not.

The basement light flickered on, the stairs creaking with each heavy step he took. Jethro threw the Manila folder on his workbench not too bothered about the papers scattering over the worktop. Kelly groaned as she was disrupted from her sleep.

Jethro clenched his teeth as he bent down to yank the sheet off of the old couch that had found its way into the basement. He felt his knee ache as he laid Kelly down, his restlessness last night was starting to catch up with him. Smoothing Kelly's hair out of her face he kissed her forehead and left her to sleep.

The silence was deafening – something he had once cherished, now felt strange. There used to be footsteps, noise, laughter – her laughter. Jethro rolled his eyes at himself, everything kept reverting back to her. He was no closer in accepting that he had played the key part in her leaving, the way he saw it she didn't love him.

Shaking the thought off, he moved back to his workbench, glaring at the disarray of papers he gathered them in the right order and placed them back in the folder. Looking around the basement, he pulled one of the many saw-horses towards him. Kelly mumbled behind him and he froze momentarily, glancing over his shoulder he made sure she was still asleep.

Pulling the top page of the file towards him, he scanned through the information meticulously. It wasn't a surprise that Jasper Shepard was dead, Jenny had told him that. The cause of death, however, made him do a double take. His brow creased in a frown.

Suicide – it would explain why Jenny never really talked about him. From what he could gather he knew the Colonel had been in Vietnam, making PTSD the first thing that came to mind. He knew what it was like watching the men who had become his brothers die right in front of him.

The year of death corresponded with the same year Jenny had joined NCIS. They had to be related, he'd seen the fire and determination with which Jenny worked – she was too goal driven to just drop everything. He pulled the photo McGee had stapled on the inside of the file loose.

"She has his eyes." He whispered to himself. He studied the photo a little closer, he could just make out the hints of red tint in the Colonel's grey hair.

Jethro pulled the rest of the papers towards him, hoping to find something. Jethro stilled for a moment again, tilting his head to the side, he could have sworn he heard something. He tuned out Kelly's shallow breathing, focusing instead on the other sounds around him.

Operation Lodestone

He had never heard of it before. Checking the time on his watch he tried to work out the time difference between Washington and Baja, he was sure Mike knew something about this. Jethro traced the orange circle that sat around the face of the watch. He knew she still wore the necklace he had bought her, and he wondered if she clung to it the same way he clung to his watch.

The floorboards creaked above him.

Yoda barked somewhere upstairs and growled at whoever wandered inside the house at this time of the night. Jethro abandoned his spot on the saw-horse and moved towards the staircase. He was halfway up the stairs when Tony came into view on the landing, a growling Yoda latched onto the leg of his jeans. Jethro relaxed marginally, casting a quick glance over Kelly he motioned for Tony to keep quiet.

"Can we talk, Boss?" Tony whispered loud enough for Gibbs to hear.

"Yeah, let me just take Kelly upstairs."

Tony watched as Gibbs picked Kelly up and made his way back up the stairs. Taking a slow breath he looked around the basement, he hadn't been down here in a while. He could still remember the first time he had ventured into the basement when he had just started at NCIS. Back then the progress on the boat had been slow, Kelly had just turned two at the time.

Admiring the boat for a moment, he turned his attention to something else. He moseyed towards the workbench, trying to find the bottle of bourbon that usually stood near a mason jar or can. He really needed a drink if he wanted to talk to Gibbs. The file that lay open caught his attention quicker than the open bottle of bourbon sitting on the edge of the workbench.

There was a frantic yap from somewhere in the basement the moment he tried to touch the file. He narrowed his eyes and scanned every dark corner of the basement. He liked the dog, but not when he was trying to chew his leg of, or made a noise when he was trying to snoop through the Boss-man's things. Yoda barked again when he touched the file.

"Shh." Tony hissed as Yoda kept barking, he didn't need Gibbs killing him, because he was more than sure no-one would ever find him if he did. Tony dropped the paper in his hands and glared at the dog as he emerged from one of the dark corners. "What is your problem?"

Yoda tilted his head to the side and yapped, this time a little more friendly. The Boston eyed him for a moment before he started wagging his tail, waiting to be petted by the familiar face. The dog snorted as he rolled onto his back and waited for Tony to scratch him.

Tony rolled his eyes and bent down to pet the dog before he chose to chew on his jean again. Scratching Yoda under his chin, he smiled when the dog snorted in contentment clearly enjoying the attention. He stopped only to have Yoda bark at him again, he glared at the dog as he whined and wriggled around on the cold cement floor.

"No, go away." Tony snapped at him light-heartedly. Yoda growled at him menacingly. Tony took a step back, taken aback by the dog's sudden change, he briefly wondered if Gibbs had taught him to growl whenever he didn't get what he wanted.

"Yoda." Jethro growled as he trudged down the stairs, slower than he usually did, he hoped that gritting his teeth would make the pain a little more bearable. The dog gave him a pleading look, ignoring him he snapped his fingers and pointed towards the couch. The dog's ears drooped as he walked towards the couch and curled up on the cushion, eyeing Tony's every move.

Jethro watched his senior agent shift around uncomfortably, avoiding looking at him. He didn't know what he was doing here, they hadn't spoken to each other ever since he had left Vance's office. He'd heard Tony's conversation with the team as he told them about his failed proposal, he didn't know if he was supposed to be embarrassed or just down right pissed off.

Grabbing the bottle of bourbon, he filled his mug with a generous amount of whiskey and a mason jar which he handed to Tony. Taking a large drink, he enjoyed the way the alcohol numbed his lips and burned down his throat. He scraped his throat softly as he looked at his boat, his mind somewhere else.

Bourbon reminded him of Jenny. Fiery, warm – intoxicating – and always making him want more.

The thought of her accompanied with bourbon dredged up vivid memories that were so fresh, it was actually too painful to think of. Licking his lips Jethro took another drink of his bourbon. Tony had moved away from him, choosing to stand close to the boat.

"You here for a reason, DiNozzo?" Jethro looked at the young man as he moved around the boat aimlessly.

He could hear the wheels in the Italian's head turn as he thought of some cocky answer. There was a moment of silence before his slow footsteps picked up again.

"Thought you could use the company." Tony took a sip of bourbon, pulling his face slightly at the bitter taste, but he took another sip none the less – he could use some Dutch courage.

Jethro scoffed and turned back to his workbench, closing the file and pushing it underneath some tools that lay around. The sarcasm he had expected was lacking. He leaned against the steel table, watching Tony's every move as he grappled with whatever he wanted to say.

Tony tuned around, retracing his footsteps around the boat. He tried to trace his footsteps exactly as they lay in the sawdust. He opened his mouth to say something but decided against it, he didn't know why he was here. He had found himself parked outside Gibbs' house and he'd eventually ventured inside.

"Tony," Jethro growled, growing impatient with his silence, "just say what you want to say."

Tony's head snapped up and tilted to the side. If he hadn't know any better he could have sworn Gibbs sounded tired. The anger inside him reared it's head again and he fought against the urge to blame him for this whole situation.

"Why did she leave, Gibbs?" Tony downed the rest of his mason jar, finally used to the strong whiskey.

Jethro narrowed his eyes, glaring at Tony, "You should have asked Ziva herself, not me." he turned his back on him, pulling the bottle of bourbon towards him. He filled his mug almost to the brim before downing half of it. He squeezed his eyes shut as it burned down his throat.

"You know that's not what I meant." Tony placed his jar on the workbench, leaning his hip against it, he regarded his boss quietly. "Why did Jenny leave?"

"None of your damn business." Jethro snapped, taking a step towards Tony.

Tony swallowed, he wasn't sure whether Gibbs would actually hit him or not. Going against his better judgement, he stood his ground. Meeting the other man's cold blue eyes, he tried grasping onto the feeling of confidence he felt, "I made it my business when I saw her in the airport."

When Gibbs turned away from him, Tony relaxed fractionally, he didn't know why he was doing this. "She looked pretty heartbroken for someone who just walked away."

Jethro spun around, his face hard and his eyes guarded, "She chose to walk away, I didn't force her to leave, she makes her own decisions."

Tony ran a hand through his hair, "I bet you didn't even wonder why she left you." he snapped arrogantly, the alcohol giving him the guts he didn't know he had. He took a step back when he saw Gibbs ball his hands into fists, he had over stepped and he wasn't exactly sure what would happen next.

"And you do." Jethro stated sarcastically.

Tony considered saying yes, all he really knew was what Ziva had told him other than that he didn't know much. Moving away from Gibbs he chose to stand near the boat, a good distance away if he did decide to attack him. "Gibbs! You let her walk away."

"She wouldn't stay!" Jethro shouted at Tony, his patience finally snapping. He was tired of hiding how he felt, tired of keeping the anger inside him. "She wanted to leave," Jethro let out a heavy breath, fisting a hand in his hair he glared at Tony, "maybe I can't give her what she wants. You ever think of that?"

Silence fell over them.

Tony shifted from one foot to the other, "But she isn't Kelly's mom." he spoke gently, knowing it was a sore subject. He'd always thought that Gibbs had loved Kelly's mother unconditionally, and it was evident in the way Joann spoke about him and her daughter.

Jethro dropped his head, squeezed his eyes shut. Everything always came back to Shannon. "No-one will ever be her." Jethro said hoarsely.

"Maybe that's why Jenny left. She knows you don't love her." Tony moved behind one of the ribs of the boat, trying to put as much distance between him and Gibbs.

Jethro ran his finger over the rim of the mason jar, he clenched his jaw tight enough to cause his teeth to ache. Gripping the mason jar he hurled it against the wall, sending shards of tempered glass flying everywhere.

Yoda barked and shot across the basement towards the stairs.

Tony took that as his cue to leave. Slipping his hands in his pockets, he touched something wet and hard. Pulling the chewed black box out of his jacket pocket, he popped it open, admiring the beautifully cut emerald inside. Holding to chewed box out towards his boss, he placed it next to him on the workbench, "Dog was chewing it when I came in."

He gave Gibbs a tight smile and trudged towards the stairs.

"DiNozzo," Jethro scrubbed a hand over his face, his body relaxing slightly as he looked at Tony who stood halfway up the stairs. "I love Jenny."

"Then fight for her, Gibbs."

---

Spending New Year's Eve in a cramped attic across the harbour hadn't been the most memorable way to spend the beginning of a new year. Ziva shivered at the memory as she made her way down the long hallway of their hotel. Those two days – in what could only be described as an ice box of an attic – were well behind them. It was safe to say that those had been the worst two days of any Op she had ever been a part of – on second thought not really.

Being emotionally detached from everything was drilled into everyone who joined Mossad – it was why her mother had left her father he had become emotionless. However, NCIS operated differently, and it was glaringly obvious in the horrible mood her partner had been in for the last ten days.

Jenny hadn't said a word since they arrived in Paris a couple of days ago. They had a few days to themselves, a way for them to enjoy some freedom before they were forced to be someone they weren't. The Israeli shivered again, for some reason Europe felt colder this year round. Pushing away the thoughts of someone who'd be able to keep her warm she padded across the red carpet towards the room she was looking for.

Their rooms were on two different floors, a way for them to stay inconspicuous. Pulling a duplicate key out of her pocket, she pried the door open slowly – not entirely sure what she'd find on the other side.

Ziva squinted her eyes trying to make out what was going on in the dark room. She sidestepped a few suitcases that had been thrown carelessly in front of the door. She glared at nothing in particular, hoping Jenny wasn't passed out somewhere in the large hotel room. She doubted her partner had been drinking, she preferred to torture herself by reliving everything and wondering what she could have done differently.

Ziva's boot clad foot connected with something heavy and hard, kicking it across the room only to have it collide with something that shattered instantaneously.

"You break it, you replace it." Came the alto growl from somewhere in the dark room.

Finding a switch, Ziva flicked it one, revealing a broken glass table and a heap of grey. Giving the broken table a murderous look she ignored it and turned her attention to her partner, who had wrapped herself in a large grey blanket.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?" Ziva asked, scanning the room to find any evidence that she had been drinking. She didn't receive an answer, only a growl that wasn't nearly as threatening as it should be. She narrowed her eyes at the pair of green eyes staring back at her from under the grey blanket.

"Light hurts my eyes." Jenny ground out before snuggling further in her blanket and resting her head on the back of the couch.

Ziva looked at the two picture frames that lay next to Jenny on the couch and picked them up. She felt a smile of her own grace her lips as she stared at the little dark haired girl as she grinned at the camera, the smile reflected on Jenny's face as well. The other one had Gibbs with them in the photo, and Ziva doubted she had ever seen Jenny or even Gibbs smile so brightly. Placing the frames on the armrest she dropped onto the couch.

"You want something?" Jenny asked thickly as she sniffed.

"Have you had something to eat?" The level of concern in the Mossad Officer's voice could take any one by surprise. She had seen the worry in Tony's eyes when they saw Jenny trudge through the empty airport towards them. Since their arrival in Marseille she had seen her partner revert back to the woman she had come to know, emotionless.

Ziva pursed her lips slightly, not entirely sure if she liked the change in Jenny. She became careless and gambled her life for the sake of a mission. There was only one person who could break through her defences, but she doubted she'd be able to get a hold of him, the last she'd heard from Tony his boss was almost unbearable to work with.

"If you're here to lecture me, then I suggest you leave." Jenny said thickly before sneezing. She reached for the box of tissues next to her. Those two days in the attic had done nothing but give her a cold.

Ziva rolled her eyes, not sure whether she could deal with a sick Jenny. Pressing her lips together tightly, she fell back against the couch, lolling her head to the side she looked at Jenny, "You have to talk about it."

"Oh, that's rich coming from you, Miss I-don't-talk-about-my-feelings." Jenny bit back and pulled the blanket tighter around her. She didn't want to talk about it, she was no closer to admitting that she might have made a mistake.

Leaving Jethro the way she did haunted her every time she closed her eyes, she could see the pain in those blue eyes as he watched her walk away. When he had said he loved her, she had thought that he might have meant it, but she didn't believe him. He would have said it only if it meant she would stay instead of walking away. It didn't mean she wasn't hurting, she was simply ignoring it until it eventually became too much.

"I know you are upset, and if you don't want to talk about it with me, then maybe you must talk to someone else." Ziva said primly, not bothered with what Jenny had said.

Jenny gave her a growl but it changed into a moan. "Ziva just drop it, and leave me alone."

"No, I will not."

"Why are you so insistent?" Jenny raised her voice, but regretted it when the pounding in her head intensified. She groaned and curled into the couch, hoping Ziva would just leave her alone.

Ziva pushed herself back to her feet. "Because I care, and I think that you were stupid about just walking away." The Israeli clenched her jaw and started spacing the small space. "You left everything because you are scared. Scared that someone might actually care about you."

"You talking about me, or yourself?" Jenny cracked an eye open to look at Ziva as she moved around the small sitting area. Pushing her blanket away from her, Jenny rubbed her eyes slightly, hoping to force the pain away. She reached for the delicate gold necklace, running her thumb over the emerald.

"I did not walk away."Ziva retorted coldly.

"But you could have stayed." Jenny coughed and looked at her friend, "I never said you had to come, you chose to come with me."

"I was watching you back."

Jenny smiled at her tiredly, "You were afraid of what was happening between you and Tony." pulling the oversized sweatshirt tighter around her she felt a sudden need to be close to Jethro. "He was your safe place and you were terrified you wouldn't be able to go on without him."

"Now who are we talking about?" Ziva asked jokingly, her brown eyes dancing slightly.

Jenny gave her a poor attempt at a smile. She really didn't feel like having company at the moment, she was sick and feeling more sorry for herself than she cared to admit. She could see Ziva's impatience and frustration roll off her as she marched around silently.

"Why are you here, Ziva?" She asked again.

"I am meeting a friend for two days, she asked to see me."

Jenny nodded her head, gathering the thick blanket in her hands she pulled it around her again. There was brief flash of annoyance in Ziva's eyes, but whatever she had wanted to say died on her lips. The Israeli whispered a soft goodbye before slipping out the door, leaving Jenny alone once again.

Crawling to the other side of the couch, Jenny took the two picture frame from where they were on the armrest. She ran the tip of her finger over Jethro's smiling face, trying to remember what it felt like to touch him. She wiped at her cheek angrily, not impressed that she still cried about walking away, she had hoped that after a few days she'd be able to move on.

She missed Kelly, her life was significantly emptier since there wasn't a little girl around. She missed the early morning snuggles and the storybooks she had to read at night. She wondered if they missed her the same way she missed them.

There was only one person she could talk to, someone who might be able to tell her how to cope.

Standing to her feet, she padded across the thick carpet avoiding the shards of glass that lay everywhere – she should have made Ziva pick them up. Making her way to the small table, she picked up the phone trying to remember what the number was. She thought about placing the phone back in its cradle, but someone answered before she could do it.

"Angela," Jenny said a little hesitantly.

"Jenny, what a wonderful surprise."

Jenny closed her eyes, "Yeah, uhm, are you still in Italy?"

"No, I'm in London, why is something wrong?"

"Think I can drop by? Only if you're not busy." She rolled her eyes at herself, she sounded stupid. She listened to her mother talk non-stop about picking her up from the airport and then finally saying goodbye. She knew the enthusiasm lacking in her voice was overshadowed by her stuffy nose.

Sliding down the wall to the floor, she closed her eyes against the sting of tears. Dropping her head against the wall she felt the pain shoot through her skull. Lifting the sweatshirt up to her nose, she inhaled deeply smelling him all around her.

This time she didn't stop the tears rolling down her cheeks.

---

The bustle of Heathrow airport reminded her of Dulles as she made her way through the crowds of people. Gritting her teeth, she pushed through the sea of people, trying to keep her cool as they bumped into her. This was a bad idea even before she had thought of it. Her body ached and her eyes hurt, digging in her coat pocket she found the over used tissue she'd been relying on.

Wiping her nose quickly, she soldiered on. Adjusting the bag on her shoulder she dodged a group of tourists and tried to catch her breath. There were a number of reasons she hated being sick, and the shortness of breath was one of them. She should have stayed in her hotel room like she had planned, not take the first flight out of Paris to London.

She tried scanning the crowds of waiting people for her mother. The strain of trying to find the right brunette was starting to give her a killer headache. A whistle caught her attention, looking around she spotted her mother waving her arms in the air like some lunatic. Jenny felt her cheeks flush slightly and she ducked her head as she made her way towards Angela.

Angela didn't waste any time in enveloping her in a tight hug, Jenny cringed slightly as she felt her body protest, she really needed some painkillers. She returned her mother's greeting numbly, trying to push everything out of her mind for time being.

"I was expecting Jethro and Kelly to be with you." Angela said excitedly as she ushered her daughter out of the airport. She had been surprised by the phone call for an out of the blue visit.

Jenny shook her head, not willing to collaborate that she'd never see the two of them ever again. Angela seemed not to take note of her thoughts being elsewhere and simply continued on with idle conversation, talking enough for the both of them.

The drive from Heathrow to Holland Park had been far too short for her liking. Jenny shivered as she waited for her mother to unlock the door to the posh home. It occurred to her that she might have been so close to her mother numerous times during her stay in the UK without her even knowing it. She stepped into the house, listening to her mother ramble on about making them some tea.

Jenny dropped her bag near the stairs, she'd take it upstairs once she felt like it. All she wanted to do was curl up and sleep with Jethro right next to her, keeping her warm. She tried to roll her eyes at herself, she seriously needed to cut back on the amount of trashy romance novels she read. All she really needed was a good night's sleep and a healthy dose of Ibuprofen.

"Jenny?" Angela called from the kitchen.

Pulling the wool cap off her head, she let her red locks free and made her way to where she heard her mother's voice.

"Sit, relax, you look like you can use it." Angela smiled at her daughter warmly as she rummaged through one of the kitchen cupboards. Finding what she was looking for she slid the bottle towards Jenny, "Take two, you'll feel much better."

Jenny popped the lid of the bottle and took two pills, not really caring what it was she was drinking as long as she felt better. Her mind wandered back to Kelly, wondering if she had caught a cold or not, she had been determined to ward off any colds by feeding the poor kid enough vitamins to last her a year. She smiled to herself, hearing Kelly moan about all the pills.

"Jenny?" Angela called again. She gave her a strange look, wondering where she had just been. She'd noticed that Jenny had been distracted from the moment she had seen her in the airport. "I wasn't aware that you were in Paris."

"Work." Jenny answered, not willing to divulge the nature of what her work actually entailed. Jenny pulled the steaming cup of tea towards her. Taking a slow sip, she hummed in appreciation, there was nothing like tea to make her feel better.

"How long are you here in London?" Angela couldn't keep her excitement at bay, she was looking forward to spending a day or two with Jenny.

"Few months. Where's Julio and the twins?" Jenny asked quickly, hoping to get her mother off the topic of why she was in London. She wasn't exactly sure why she had chosen to visit her mother, now that she was here the last thing she wanted to do was talk about her past and how she probably made the same mistake.

"They're in Italy, Julio should be back by next week. How long is a few months?" Angela pressed, she could see right though Jenny's attempt at changing the subject, she was used to three boys trying to hide what they had been up to. She watched Jenny's eyes widen imperceptibly before looking up and shrugging her shoulders, not answering her question.

Angela smiled to herself, shaking her head she took a seat next to Jenny. Stroking her daughter's thick red hair, she tucked a strand behind her ear so she could see her face, placing a soft hand on her cheek she made Jenny look at her.

"I don't know if you know this, but when you lie, your eye twitches." Angela smiled when Jenny gave her shocked look that was quickly replaced with a scowl, upset that she gave herself away. "You want to tell me why you're really here?"

Jenny rested her elbow in the counter, dropping her forehead in her hand. "I needed to get away for a couple of days. Clear my head."

"Has something happened between you and Jethro?" Angela asked tentatively, careful not to push her. She knew Jenny had a short temper and that she wouldn't hesitate to snap and shut down, she was just like her father in that aspect.

Jenny frowned, she suddenly had an urge to just breakdown and cry until she didn't have any tears left. She wondered what exactly her mother had given her to drink because she could feel herself starting to loose control.

"Mom," The word slipped out before she knew it and her head snapped up suddenly, looking at her mother with wide eyes. She hadn't really thought about what she was saying, she'd always seen the woman as Angela and not as her mother.

Angela placed a hand over her mouth, it was something she hadn't heard from her daughter since the day she had left.

"Uhm… do you think I can lay down for a few minutes, I think a might be a little jet lagged."

Angela nodded at her daughter. Sliding off her chair she placed both hands on Jenny's cheeks, giving her a watery smile. Dropping her hands to Jenny's shoulders she pulled her into a hug, holding her close for a moment. There was something bothering her, but she'd wait until Jenny decided to talk to her.

Snow fell silently outside her window, covering everything in a thick layer of white. She'd been awake for the last half an hour, listening to her mother move around downstairs. Jenny tangled her fingers in the delicate chain around her neck, cradling the emerald in her palm. She'd thought about giving it back to him, but she couldn't find it in her to part with it.

A phone rang somewhere in the house and she listened to her mother's hasty footsteps. Letting out a heavy sigh, she pushed herself up on her elbows. The headache she had been struggling with had at least disappeared for time being, she still ached all over but she couldn't stay in bed all day.

Stretching, she swung her feet off the edge of the bed, pulling her bag towards her with a toe too lazy to stand up. Zipping it open she pulled out the red hoodie, running her hand over the yellow letters she smiled sadly and pulled it over her head.

Following the soft music she found herself right outside Julio's study, where her mother was curled up in one of the leather armchairs. Looking around the room she was reminded of her own study back home. There were various novels lining the bookshelves, and she assumed by some of the titles that they were mostly her mother's. It dawned on her that she had inherited her mother's love for romance novels.

Stepping into the study she traced her fingers over the spines of the books, there were a few she recognised and other's that looked like they were worth the read. Abandoning the books she dropped into on of the chairs and curled up in it, watching her mother read. She remembered the exact same thing as a child, content to just watch.

"There's something enchanting about them, isn't there?" Angela looked up from her book as she spoke. Slipping her bookmark between the two pages, she closed it and looked at Jenny as she sat across from her.

"It's a delusion." Jenny said coldly as she looked out the window, her mind some place else.

"To some, but it doesn't mean happiness doesn't exist." Angela watched Jenny carefully, trying to gauge whether she could push her or not.

Jenny snorted and rolled her eyes, if they'd had this conversation twelve days ago she might have agreed with her mother. Stifling a yawn, she shook her head and turned away from the window preferring to look at the flickering flames. They were silent for a while.

Jethro had been her happy ever after, despite the fact she never really believed in fairytale endings. Somewhere the edges of reality had blurred for her. Her father's death had been somewhere in the recess of her mind, preferring not to think about it while she was wrapped up in what could only be described as a whirlwind relationship. It was only ever going to crash around her, everything always did.

She retraced the last few months trying to remember where she had lost sight of what was going on in her life. It must have been the first time he had kissed her, or it was before that – maybe it had been the moment she had realised that he was as broken as she was. Looking over at her mother, she propped her chin on her hand looking at the older woman thoughtfully.

"Did you regret walking away from my father?" Jenny watched the soft smile on Angela's face go away, only to be replaced by a somber look.

Angela took a deep breath, "Almost everyday, it's hard for a mother to walk away from her child, I wouldn't wish it on anyone."

Jenny shook her head, slightly frustrated, "No, I mean my father, did you regret leaving him?"

Angela shook her head, twisting her wedding ring around her finger. "When you're in a destructive relationship the only thing you want to do is walk away." Angela crossed her legs, pulling her sweater around her a little tighter, "You left Jethro."

Jenny narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Angela smiled, although a little sadly this time. She'd had seen the adoration the two people had for each other, it was what every mother hoped her children would find, she knew first hand what it was like to pretend everything was fine when it really wasn't. "What happened?"

Jenny grimaced, not sure she wanted to tell her mother that she had been the one to end things.

"He's been married before." Jenny could see the look on her mother's face was anything but surprised, "I guess it's kind of obvious that he was." when her mother just raised her eyebrows she allowed herself to smile.

"Is she back in the picture?"

"She never left." At the confused look she collaborated, "She passed away a month after Kelly was born."

"Then why-"

"He still loves her, I can't be in a relationship with someone who clings to the memory of their dead wife. Neither can I be with someone who doesn't love me." Jenny interrupted, the anger in her voice rising.

Angela shook her head, "That's not what I saw the few occasions I saw the two of you together." moving forward in her chair she placed a hand on Jenny's knee, "That man loves you."

Jenny shook her head, she didn't want to hear that, it just made her realise that she had potentially made a mistake. Could they have worked through this, reached a point where they told each other about the secrets they kept? Or would everything have culminated to a point where they drove each other apart and hurting not only themselves but Kelly as well. She'd made the right decisions and she was sticking to it.

"It never would have lasted."

"Nothing will last if you don't work for it." Angela sighed in frustration, "Jenny, I have been married for twenty years. Believe me, a relationship takes work and commitment. It wouldn't be called love if it were easy."

Jenny glared at her mother. "You're making me feel worse." She wiped at her eyes, trying to force the tears away. She wasn't going to tell her mother that she was more concerned about clearing her father's name than working on a relationship.

"There's more to this than just Kelly's mother, isn't there?" Angela sat back in her chair, eyeing her daughter closely. She had noticed that Jenny hadn't been completely honest with Jethro herself. The fact that he had been surprised about what she had done before joining NCIS had made her realise that.

She herself had been caught off guard when one of Jenny's former colleague's had phoned her and told her that she had left the firm. As a mother she had certain speculations, and one of them had to do with Jasper. His suicide had been sudden and a shock, despite the fact she hadn't seen him in years or even spoken to him. It must have torn Jenny apart knowing he had ended his life.

"Jasper's death still haunts you." Angela had a hard look on her face, the impact his actions had had on their daughter had angered her beyond belief.

"Mom, please don't?" Jenny pleaded quietly, she was close to cracking.

"Jenny," Angela said a little louder than necessary, "you have a choice of ruining your life over something your father did that you can't seem to accept." softening her voice she continued, "Or spending it with someone I know truly loves you."

---

They sat silently side by side, watching the activity in the snowy park. Both occasionally smiling as the children raced through the snow only to fall down and make individual snow angels. The park had been a last resort, going against their better judgement and letting the two toddlers burn off some energy by chasing each other in the snow. The silence, however, was a very unwelcoming atmosphere.

Noemi shifted on the cold bench, trying to keep the blood flowing through her before she froze. Kelly raced passed them giggling as she looked over her shoulder to see if Kyle was chasing her. The little boy scampered to his feet, stumbling through the snow until he found his balance. Noemi smiled, trying to remember a little redhead in the same park looking apprehensive about mingling with the others.

The surprise when Jethro had showed up at the town house looking like he hadn't slept in days had surprised her. In fact the phone call she'd received from Jenny just before she left, telling her to pick up her car and not speak to Jethro had brought up all sorts of questions. Respecting the young woman's wishes she had avoided any chance encounters with Jethro up until he stormed into the old mansion demanding answers.

Answers she didn't have. Jethro knew more about Jenny's sudden departure than she did, all she knew was that it was work related. The shock of hearing that Jenny had ended things had actually made her angry to say the least. Noemi narrowed her eyes, she had watched Jenny not only throw away her dreams but her chance at happiness as well. If things continued like this she was pretty sure Jenny would throw away her entire life.

It was one of the many puzzle pieces that Jenny Shepard was made up of. No-one knew what she was up to until it blew up in her face or she succeeded in her goal. Noemi shook her head slightly. Yet again Jenny had thrown away the one good thing that had happened to her since Jasper's death. She just hoped Jethro would be able to stop her before she ruined her life.

Joann shifted next to Noemi, blowing on her hands and keeping a close eye on the two toddlers running around. "Have you heard anything from Jenny?"

"No, I do not even know where she is."

Joann pressed her lips together tightly, she had mixed feelings about this whole ordeal. When Jethro had first told her that Jenny had left, she had immediately blamed him – since it seemed like the only thing he ever did was push people away who cared about him.

The anger with which he had lashed out towards her had reminded her of those few days she had spent with him right after he had returned from California. He tried to hide his hurt and pain behind the anger he directed towards everyone, and the only person who could calm him down was Kelly.

She had reached a point where she refused to pass judgement on who the guilty party was. They were both equally guilty, Jenny for walking away and Jethro for allowing her to leave. What angered her was the pain they had put Kelly through, she knew that it was unavoidable, but Kelly was silently suffering from not understanding why she couldn't see Jenny. And she knew her granddaughter's questions were a painful reminder to Jethro of what happened.

"This is all so..." Joann trailed off not exactly sure what she wanted to say.

"Unnecessary." Noemi supplied silently.

Joann gave a soft laugh. "Yes, it sure is." They lapsed into silence again, it wasn't long before Joann turned her attention to the woman next to her, "I don't want you to think that I'm blaming Jenny for all of this, but there must be a reason she left."

Noemi shrugged her shoulders. She had become good friends with Joann over the few months of occasionally watching after Kelly as well, she knew that it was only in her friend's best interest that she asked. "Jenny's been running ever since her father has died. She had just dropped everything and joined NCIS, perhaps she wanted to get away from all the memories."

"Jethro does the same." Joann said thoughtfully, casting a quick glance around the park and making sure the two kids hadn't wandered off. "Personally, I think he's terrified of loosing someone like he lost Shannon." Joann bit her bottom lip to fight off the emotions, "I still worry about losing Kelly everyday, but you can't cling to the past and what the ifs for the rest of your life."

"I wish I could have told Jenny that before she made the decisions she did." Noemi watched as Kelly and Kyle raced around the swings, both laughing.

"I doubt either of them would have listened." Joann laughed.

Noemi smiled and shook her head. She knew Jenny would have simply rolled her eyes and blundered forward until one day realising that she should have listened. "I thought that this would be Jenny's reason to stay here, to stop whatever it is she's busy with."

"Jethro is a very difficult person, as sweet as he sometimes can be – he can be a real pain in the ass."

"All we can hope for is that they find a way to talk to each other." Noemi said softly.

Kelly giggled as Kyle threw a handful of snow at her, scooping up the cold ice in two hands she hurled it towards him. He shivered as the flecks of snow melted and ran down his neck into his jacket.

Kyle scooped up a handful of snow rolling it into a ball like his father had showed him and threw it at Kelly. He gaped at her as she sidestepped the flying ball of ice and started running again. Letting out an almost frustrated groan he set off after her.

Kelly ran for the security of her grandmother and Noemi, knowing Kyle wouldn't throw anything at her when she was between the two older women.

Joann watched as Kelly started running towards her. She stumbled in the snow a couple of times but quickly found her footing again. Kyle was still a good distance behind her, trying to catch up. Kelly was steadily drawing closer as she raced across the park.

It happened before either of them could blink or form a coherent sentence of warning. Both older women watched as one of the wooden swings repelled backwards as a strong gust of wind forced it to move. Kelly was still laughing when the sharp corner of the metal bracket on the swing slammed right into her forehead. The blood curdling scream had both women jumping to their feet and rushing towards a screaming Kelly.

The snow was stained crimson by the time they reached Kelly. Kyle was standing to one side, petrified about what was going on. Joann lifted Kelly's head trying to see the size of the gash in the little girl's forehead. The worry set in quickly when she felt Kelly's hair was almost completely wet with blood.

Noemi handed over her scarf in order to stem the blood coming from the wound. "The nearest hospital is here in Georgetown." Noemi helped Joann pick Kelly up before she swung Kyle on her hip, trying to keep him calm as well.

"Miss Noemi, is Kelly going to be okay?" Kyle croaked softly as he held onto her for dear life. Neither of the older women answered him.

---

The hammering in the forefront of his skull was a good indication to just how tired he really was. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had a good night's sleep, actually he could but he tried not to dwell on that. His nightmares had started back up again, leaving him sweaty and in a tangled mess of sheets and blankets. He usually found himself propped against a yellow wall, watching his daughter sleep in the dim light of her night light.

The nightmares were all the same, he'd stumble onto the same gruesome scene – watching his friends and fellow marines splutter on their own blood. Just before he could assess his surroundings everything would change and he would be left holding someone in his arms – but the face has changed, he no longer stared into a pair of pale blue orb. Instead he found himself looking at a pair dull emeralds as she stared lifelessly back at him, her alabaster skin painted with smears of blood.

"Jenny," He choked on his own words.

The loud thud caused his eyes to snap open. The bustle of the bullpen infiltrated his skull causing the hammering to intensify. He fought against the yawn that threatened to escape, he should have known that the vivid imagery was the recurring nightmare. Sitting up he ran his tongue over his teeth, trying to piece together when exactly he had fallen asleep, his team was present meaning they had returned from lunch.

Jethro let out a heavy rush of air, looking around the bullpen to find where the sudden noise had come from rousing him from another nightmare filled sleep. McGee was typing diligently on his keyboard, desperately trying to avoid eye contact. Kate was keeping herself busy with something – they were all suffering from having nothing to do. Tony was doing the same, paging through a case file and then poking at his keyboard. Jethro rolled his eyes, if he had just continued doing nothing then he wouldn't have known he had been responsible for waking him up.

Jethro glared at the young Italian until he squirmed in his chair and finally looked up. They stared at each other for a moment, each waiting for the other to look away. Jethro inclined his head slightly, avoiding looking at him again once he dropped his gaze. He wondered if he had talked in his sleep, given his team's uncomfortable looks he most probably had.

Jethro placed a hand over his eyes, rubbing them roughly. Blinking a few times the blurriness faded, smacking his lips he caught sight of the tall Styrofoam cup left on his desk by one of his team. The scalding liquid burned his mouth all the way down his throat, they hadn't been back long if the coffee was still that hot.

"McGee," Jethro licked his lips, savouring the bitter brew, "you get that thing I wanted?"

He'd heard Tony's indignant squawk when he had mentioned McGee's name, a clear indication that DiNozzo had brought him the coffee.

Tim gulped for a moment, trying to remember what Gibbs was talking about. Over the last few days he'd hacked into the CIA at least twice to find something that was above his security clearance. He pulled his face in concentration. Something in his brain clicked and he raised his eyebrows in realisation.

Unlocking his top drawer he found the brown envelope he had place the papers in. Sliding it in a Manila folder he got up and gave it to his boss, trying to keep it as unnoticeable as possible.

"Jeez, McGee," Jethro rolled his eyes as the probie nervously handed over the file, attracting more attention than necessary.

Tony craned his neck, trying to see what McGee handed over to Gibbs. He was sure that it had something to do with the file he'd seen on his workbench about a week ago. They had all noticed recently that he was distracted and silently working through a file that none of them had received a copy of. The only person who seemed to have a clue what was going on was McObvious, Tony glared at him as he skulked back to his desk.

"Mind your own business, DiNozzo." Jethro growled from his desk, knowing that Tony would probably corner Tim in the elevator sooner or later. He just hoped that he had enough guts to keep his mouth shut and not blab to Tony what he was up to.

Pulling the thick stack of papers out he scrunched the top page. He glared at the redacted paragraphs, there were a total of three words visible, none of them giving any indication of what the file was about. "McGee!" He snapped irately.

Tony snorted as he heard McGee's audible gulp.

"Next page, Boss." Tim stammered as he looked at Gibbs with large eyes.

Jethro scrunched the second page as well. There was no evidence of redaction on the page or the rest of the file. He gave his geeky agent an impressed look.

"Don't ask, Boss." Tim murmured quietly.

Jethro shrugged. He didn't really care where Tim had found this, he'd bail him out if he ended up in lock-up. Taking another sip of his coffee, he eased back in his chair settling in to read through Operation Lodestone.

A phone call late one night to Mike Franks had given him more than he had bargained for. He'd learned something about Jasper Shepard that he doubted even Jenny knew. The grumpy old man had told him that the Colonel had been involved in various Arms Dealer rings, tasked by the CIA to make sure the weapons didn't fall in the wrong hands – hence the grand office in the Pentagon.

He was about halfway through the stack of papers when he stumbled across something that made him question his ex-lover's motives.

There had been numerous speculations on whether the Colonel's death had been self-inflicted or a conspiracy. He knew about the bribery, it had been on the second page of the file. The Frenchman who had been responsible for the supposed 'under-the-table' money had disappeared the exact same day Jasper had been killed.

Jethro's brow creased in thought. Jenny leaving for France had been a shock, but after what Leon told him about her year absences from undercover work, everything started to make sense. He knew Jenny well enough to know she'd delve into this consequences be damned, it was just who she was and it was the same thing that he liked about her. But there was no hard evidence that this was a set-up, unless she knew something others simply preferred to overlook.

The more he delved into this the clearer it became as to why Jenny had left everything behind her for a career with a federal agency. He knew what she was going through all too well, for the last three – almost four – years he'd been struggling with the same demons she had. Although his sense of revenge had long since dissipated into a form of dull pain, he knew what it was like to be haunted.

The admission that he really did love Jenny made him realise – that like with every other relationship he didn't tell her the truth about what had happened to Shannon. He simply told her some form of truth and she had never pushed the subject any further. All the while she was more attuned to how he felt than he had thought.

He needed to talk to her, explain to her that despite the aching need to serve justice it didn't matter in the long run, it only caused more harm than good. It didn't matter whether she would consider the possibility of working on what they had started – he just couldn't sit around only to wait and watch her life crumble around her. Kelly had been his saving grace, the one person who had made him fight through everything.

There was nothing he could say or do for Jenny to offer her comfort, but he'd be there for her when she crumbled.

The ring of his desk phone jolted him back to reality.

"Yeah, Gibbs."

Everything blurred together as he listened to Joann's frantic voice telling him to get to Georgetown University Hospital. He'd ended the call before she had a chance to tell him what had happened. All he could remember was his team's concerned looks as he stood and moved around – on what felt like autopilot. Once the shock had registered, things speeded up again. He'd found himself rushing down the stairwell heading for a federal plated Dodge.

Jethro felt his heart kick violently in his chest as he weaved through traffic, his throat constricting with each swallow. Various scenarios flashed through his mind, all of them ending with Kelly taken away from him. The uncertainty of not knowing what was going on was the only thing that made him think rationally to an extent.

Pulling into an open spot, he didn't even care about the fact that the keys were still in the ignition.

The unfamiliarity with the hospital unnerved him, he couldn't see Joann anywhere and he didn't know exactly which way the emergency room was. He swivelled around aimlessly trying to find someone who was willing to help him. Running a hand through his hair he looked at the different boards indicating the direction of each ward. He shot down a long corridor, following the directions the boards gave him towards the emergency room.

Jethro burst through the doors, his blue eyes frantically searching for a familiar face. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a nurse leave her post at the desk and march towards him, ignoring her he looked around the waiting room. The gentle touch on his shoulder had him spinning around.

"Can I help you?" The nurse asked calmly, already steering him towards the reception desk.

"Kelly Gibbs, her grandmother brought her in, I don't know what happened." Jethro growled at the woman in front of him.

The paralysing fear was keeping him from boiling over. He never expected something to happen while Kelly was with Joann, even the thought seemed unreal. It was so different from when DiNozzo had looked after her, he could blame him for being irresponsible – but even that had been an accident.

"Mister Gibbs, your daughter is being treated in room three. Down the hall second door on the left."

Jethro threw a quick thank you over his shoulder and charged down the hall, scanning the doors for the number. He took a deep breath and pushed through the right door, mentally trying to prepare himself for whatever he might find on the other side.

Jethro stopped in his tracks.

There was blood, and a lot of it, Kelly's sweater was stained red and her hair was matted to her head. Jethro balled his fists, knowing his hands were probably shaking with fear, he felt his muscles jump as he clenched his hands. He didn't know whether the ringing in his ears had to do with anger or panic, but he couldn't hear a word Joann said as she told him to take her seat next to Kelly on the bed.

He sunk down on the hard hospital bed, placing a large hand on Kelly's back, he watched as the doctor continued to close the gash in Kelly's forehead. The thick smell of the coppery blood reached his nostrils and he came back to reality, the anger overshadowing the fear.

"What happened?" Jethro asked darkly, his voice low as he struggled to stay calm.

Looking up, he finally acknowledged the other people around him. He saw young Kyle hide his face in Noemi's coat, and he briefly wondered if the kid was okay. Looking between the two older women he darkened his glare, growing impatient with their lack of a response.

"She was running and the swing hit her." Joann said thickly, "There was no way we could have stopped it."

"Was there someone on the swing?" There were various scenarios running through his mind of how this could have been worse.

"No," Noemi answered this time, adjusting Kyle on her lap she rubbed his back soothingly, "they were chasing each other and the wind picked up. It happened before we could warn her."

Kyle slid off Noemi's lap, his wet boots squelching on the linoleum floor as he took small hesitant steps towards Jethro. The little boy's long brown hair flopped with each step he took, his dark eyes growing in size as he looked up at his friend's father.

Jethro looked down as he felt a tug on his slacks, he watched Kyle lean against his knee – the boy's large brown eyes boring into him.

"Sorry, mister Gibbs. I didn't want to hurt Kelly." Kyle whispered softly.

Jethro ruffled the boy's hair, giving him a faint smile. "Wasn't your fault." Kyle nodded solemnly and hoisted himself onto the high hospital bed. Wriggling around he made himself comfortable between Jethro and Kelly and held Kelly's hand in his. Jethro gave the boy a strange look but left him.

"That should do it." The doctor looked up from taking off her gloves, "I'm not too concerned about an infection, the wound was relatively clean. She shouldn't experience a lot of pain, if she does bring her back or take her to her paediatrician. The stitches need to stay in for about two weeks, after that bring her back here just so I can see how it healed."

Jethro thanked the doctor and watched her leave the room. He looked over at Kelly, gritting his teeth painfully hard when he counted nine stitches on her forehead. He knew that as soon as the local anaesthetic worked out of her system she'd be complaining about the pain. Looking up he saw the two older women a little more at ease since knowing Kelly was all right. Checking his watch he decided that he'd just go home instead of going to the office with Kelly.

"Daddy." Kelly whimpered softly and reached out towards him. Standing to his feet, he helped Kyle off of the bed and swung Kelly onto his hip. The fact that she had been so quiet had scared him, but he assumed the shock had been too much for her to cope with. He felt her small body shake with quiet sobs, he pressed a kiss against her head, not caring about the blood.

Kyle seemed to wander around the room curiously looking at all the equipment, Jethro placed his free hand on his shoulder and steered him towards the door. The last thing he needed was for the boy to injure himself as well. Joann pushed passed him, already on the phone with Kyle's mother, holding the door open for Noemi he gave her a small smile as she slipped out the door into the busy hallway.

Jethro took a deep breath as they headed down the hall towards the exit. "Noemi," He spoke softly, "have you heard from her?"

Noemi shook her head, the sadness in her eyes enough to tell him that she was as concerned as he was. Making sure Kyle was still close by, Jethro looked at Noemi, "I need to ask you something."

The Hispanic woman raised an eyebrow, "I can only assume it has to do with Jenny."

Jethro stopped, standing off to the side to allow people to pass them by. He adjusted Kelly against his shoulder and placed a hand on her back for comfort. He looked down the hall, almost paranoid that someone might be listening. He saw Joann explain what had happened over the phone and made sure Kyle hadn't disappeared.

"It's about Jasper Shepard." He watched the older woman's eyes widen almost in disbelief, only to be replaced with sadness.

"Jenny never told you about him." It was a statement, she knew Jenny very rarely mentioned her father – to anyone. It was only logical that he went digging through Jenny's life – and she was glad that he had.

"No, but I have questions." Jethro shifted from one leg to another, "Who found him?"

Noemi tilted her head back, raising her chin, "Jenny, she found him about an hour after it happened." she took a deep breath. Casting a glance around the busy hospital she stepped closer, "Jethro, I might not know much about what he did, but there was no way that man did, what he had been accused of."

Jethro's brow knitted together, he couldn't ask anything else since Joann had finished her phone call. He inclined his head towards Noemi in thanks and excused himself, wanting to get Kelly home and cleaned.

The running water and abundant smell of lavender was soothing on his nerves and it seemed to calm Kelly down enough to get her to undress. He'd found the bottle of bubble bath in one of the bathroom cabinets, left behind by none other than Jenny. Jethro helped Kelly undress, hoping to get the blood off of her.

Placing Kelly in the large tub, he watched as her tiny shoulders slumped forward, the warm water relaxing her. It wasn't long before the clear water and white bubbles started changing colour as the dried blood started coming off. Jethro supported Kelly's neck as she leaned back in order for him to wash her hair, scooping a hand full of water he watched as it ran red as he poured it over her hair. His throat constricted and he tried pushing everything out of his mind.

He suddenly missed Jenny, knowing that she would have tried to keep him calm while silently worrying herself to death. He scowled a little as he poured shampoo in his hand – wondering when he had become such a sap. He missed Jenny and knowing she was halfway across the world busy with something that was dangerous made him rethink a few things he had done over the last few months.

"Ow," Kelly whimpered as her father rinsed the shampoo out of her hair.

Jethro grit his teeth, silently apologising as tears rolled down Kelly's cheeks.

They were stretched out on the recliner, Kelly was snuggled warmly into her father's side content to cuddle with him for as long as possible. Jethro pulled the fleece blanket tighter around them, holding Kelly protectively as they watched an old western. He had rushed through bath time, hoping to get her out of the tub and dressed before she got moody and angry.

Jethro shook his head as he thought about what had happened. The amount of blood had worried him more than anything else, but as soon as she was cleaned up and tucked safely against him he had finally relaxed. It felt cruel, but he hoped Kelly had learned her lesson in steering clear of the swings, since he had told her the same thing countless times before.

Kelly yawned and turned the uninjured part of her face into his chest. Since Jenny had left, he had found Kelly wandering into his room at all hours of the night, sometimes refusing to even sleep in her own bed. She had stopped asking questions about why they never heard from Jenny any more, but he knew she was missing the redhead as much as he was.

Yoda snored and kicked his legs, fast asleep and dreaming in his basket. Jethro reached down and stroked to dog's shiny coat, grinning when he barked and kicked again. The snoring stopped and Yoda jumped up, his pointy ears perked and listening for something.

"What is it?" Jethro looked on as Yoda moved around restlessly in his basket, he yapped and tilted his head to the side.

The front door swung open and clumsy footsteps found their way into the foyer. Yoda shot out of his basket, barking at the intruder threateningly. Jethro craned his neck, trying to see which one of his team had found themselves on his doorstep tonight. He was pleasantly surprised to see McGee appear around the corner.

Tim shivered slightly the chill of the night air still coursing through him. He was relieved when Yoda stopped barking and relaxed heading for his basket again. Hanging his coat up he pulled a rolled up file out of one of the pockets. Running a hand though his hair to get the snow out of it he entered the warm living room.

"Sorry to just drop by, Boss." Tim stopped next to his boss' chair, waving at Kelly. He had worried along with everyone else when Gibbs had told them what had happened.

"It's fine, Tim." Jethro motioned for the young man to sit but he shook his head. It intrigued him that Tim had dropped by he had expected Abby or Kate, but not Tim.

"I found this right after you left." Tim handed over the rolled up file and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

Jethro rolled the rubber band off of the file. Smoothing the papers open he frowned when he saw the Army CID logo printed on it. He looked up at Tim, wondering what it was he had found. "What's this about?"

Tim looked away from Gibbs, watching the film on TV. He felt the heat rise in his cheeks, "Uh… A gut feeling." he tried his best to sound sure of himself but there was still some uncertainty there.

Jethro gave his youngest agent a proud smile, "Where'd you find this?"

"A hidden compartment in the CIA's server, something tells me they didn't want whatever was inside to be seen."

Jethro narrowed his eyes slightly, wondering what else he'd be finding in this file. "Good job, Tim."

"I better get going before Abby starts calling me." At the glare he quickly explained himself, "She invited me to a benefit concert for one of her friend's and-"

"McGee," Jethro said exasperatedly, "go before she does call." he shook his head as he watched Tim nod awkwardly and try to avoid the toys on the floor as he made his way back to the foyer. He almost tripped over his own feet but stopped himself just in time.

"Oh, Boss, someone called this afternoon."

"They'll just have to call again." Jethro spoke quietly, trying not to wake Kelly. He gave Tim a nod as he waved goodbye.

Turning the volume down on the TV, he grabbed the rolled up file. They'd had a few joint cases with Army CID but he hadn't thought about an internal investigation into the Colonel death. He adjusted Kelly on his chest, making sure nothing touched her stitches. He settled in the recliner and rested the file on his thigh.

The first few pages were simply an explanation of what the Colonel did for the CIA, none of it giving any indication of why the file had been hidden. Jethro scraped his throat softly, he was growing increasingly frustrated with the lack of anything substantial enough that would prove Jasper Shepard didn't take a bribe.

Paging through the file he came across an additional stack of papers that had nothing to do with the Colonel's death. It looked like a report of some sort written by none other than Jasper Shepard. Jethro tried sitting up enough without bothering Kelly. Finding the first page he hoped he'd find something that would shed some light.

He'd barely started reading when the house phone started ringing. Jethro rolled his eyes, he wasn't looking forward to a case. Reaching for the phone on the small table right next to him, he cleared his throat and tried to quell the need to snap at whoever was on the other side.

"Gibbs." He answered quietly, fleetingly wondering if it might be Joann checking up on them.

"Shalom, Gibbs."

Jethro sat up, holding Kelly tightly against him. He took a deep breath, he didn't want to ponder what it meant that Ziva had called him while undercover. He felt his heart sink, hoping she wasn't the bearer of bad news. It was one thing having Jenny walk away, and another completely to hear she had been killed.

"Is it Jenny?" He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to prepare himself for whatever followed next. He listened to the static, anxiety slowly creeping into his body.

"I do not have much time, and I should not be calling you. But you have to talk to her, our assignment ends in two days, then we have a few days to ourselves – call her then."

"Ziver, I can't, you know that." Jethro took a heavy breath.

"Gibbs, they want to pull her out of the Op."

"There's nothing I can do, even if I wanted to. She's made up her mind, whatever was between us clearly wasn't worth fighting for."

"And you believe that?"

Jethro dropped his head against the back of the chair, his eyes still firmly shut, letting out a heavy sigh he couldn't find it in him to answer her without letting his emotions slip.

---

The water was scorching as it pelted down, drenching her from head to toe. In some strange sadistic way she hoped it burned the skin right off of her. All she could think of was their target's hands all over her, touching her in ways only one man was really allowed to touch her. She felt dirty as she remembered the man's sweaty hands on her exposed skin – his cigarette stained teeth sinking into the flesh of her shoulder when she tried to get away from him.

Jenny rubbed the bar of soap over her shoulder repeatedly, scratching the skin until faint traces of blood pooled near the surface of her skin. She let out a strangled sob.

She wanted Jethro, wanted him to reassure her that no matter how vile and repulsive the things were they had to do – that he'd still be there waiting for her. The whole assignment had almost gone to hell because she couldn't find it in her to seduce their target enough to follow her to a predetermined destination in order for Mossad to grab him. If it hadn't been for Ziva she was sure she'd be in some alleyway – dead.

All she could see was his blue eyes staring at her in disgust and anger. The guilt and denial had only culminated into her inability to do her job properly. The realisation that she had made a mistake in walking away from Jethro had settled firmly over her the moment she had returned back to her hotel room. The heart to heart she'd had with her mother had only helped her realise that.

Jethro had ruined her.

There wasn't a day that had gone by where she didn't think about him and Kelly. She had wondered if it would have been easier if they had agreed to try a long distance relationship – it would have been easier than knowing she wouldn't be seeing him again.

The hot water felt more bearable as it started running cold. Closing the cold water tap, Jenny grit her teeth as the water burned her already red and sensitive skin. She pressed her forehead against the cool tiles of the shower, trying to remember how it felt to be with Jethro.

If she concentrated long and hard enough she could feel his roughened hands on her body. The callouses scratching her skin softly and causing her muscles to quiver in anticipation. It had become her coping mechanism.

She'd heard the whispers amongst everyone else. Vance was considering pulling her from the Op since she had been unable to perform in her assignment. Jenny swallowed with difficulty, not entirely sure what she'd do if everything she had worked for was suddenly just taken away from her.

The water had run cold, sending a shiver through her body. Turning off the water, she stepped out of the shower.

Wrapped in a fluffy blue towel, she stared at herself in the bathroom mirror. She couldn't remember the last time she had looked this worn out, maybe a few days after her father's death? She'd had trouble sleeping back then too. Jenny pressed a finger to the dark circle under one of her eyes, there was nothing make-up couldn't hide.

Swallowing she ignored the bruises on her arms from when the man had gripped her and had refused to let her go. She shuddered at the thought again. Opening the sinks cold water, she splashed some of it in her face. Tightening her towel around her she switched off the bathroom light and felt her way into her equally dark bedroom.

Jenny flicked on a bedside lamp and dropped her towel in a heap on one of the chairs. She pulled the red hoodie over her head, hoping that tonight it would offer her some comfort. She avoided using alcohol for comfort, afraid that she wouldn't be able to stop herself once she started drinking. All she had left were a couple of novels to take her mind off things, but those rarely worked these days.

Grabbing the two picture frames that sat on a small dresser, she padded to the tiny living room – occasionally digging her toes into the thick cream carpet. She stared at Strawberry Shortcake as she sat lifelessly in one of the chairs. Tears burned the corners of her eyes. Picking the rag doll up, she ran her fingers over it reverently – she could hear Kelly's giggles echo around her.

Dropping the doll and pictures on the chair she trudged back to her room.

The bottle of bourbon sat perfectly still on the small coffee table. Jenny took a slow drink from the tumbler she had found in one of the cabinets. It wasn't Jethro's usual brand of fiery whiskey, but it would have to do. There was no way she'd be getting through the next few days without liquid courage to keep her company. She closed her eyes and grimaced as the amber liquid burned down her throat.

All it usually took was one glass of bourbon to dull her senses, making it almost impossible to feel the way the alcohol burned down her throat. Taking another sip, she pressed the tip of her tongue against the roof of her mouth, luxuriating in the burning sensation that ran down her throat all the way to her stomach. It was evidence that she still had the ability to feel, that was probably the main reason she drank bourbon – that and it was a reminder of the man who had introduced her to the retched drink.

There was a heavy loud knock on the door.

Jenny ignored it. It was most probably Ziva who wanted to harass her on what had happened earlier. Jenny lifted her head, trying to see what time it was. It was just after midnight, which meant Ziva probably just got back from smoothing things over with Eli David about what had happened. Choosing to ignore her partner, she took another drink from her bourbon. She had taken the extra key Ziva had, she didn't want her friend to see her like this.

The knock was more urgent and louder than before.

Jenny rolled her eyes, placing her tumbler on the coffee table she dropped her head in her hands. Taking a deep breath she struggled to her feet. Drinking and not eating wasn't the best of ideas, she grabbed onto the back of a chair, waiting until the room stopped spinning.

The knock was angry this time.

Jenny took a deep breath, contemplating if she should simply ignore the knocking or answer the door. Going against her better judgement she reached for the doorknob. The door opened slowly and she squinted as the bright lights in the hall blinded her momentarily. Blinking a few times she took a step back and tried to focus on the person on the other side.

Jenny felt her heart drop to her stomach.

There he stood right in front of her, his blue eyes boring into her as he stared at her. She felt her mouth go dry and her throat constrict, forcing her to gulp for air. Jenny pressed a palm against her forehead, trying to figure out if she was hallucinating due to a lack of sleep or if he was really there.

"Jethro..." She choked out, her eyes ran over him, settling on the bundle he held in his arms. She took a step towards him, but stopped, suddenly unsure of herself. "You're here."

Jethro nodded, he took in the woman before him. The flush of her skin told him she had just stepped out of the shower and the deep crimson colour of her cheeks were no doubt from the alcohol he could smell on her breath. Her hair was wet and curly as it cascaded around her. The sunken look in her eyes told him she'd had very little sleep. The usually warm emerald pools that could lure him to do anything for her were dull and guarded.

"Can I come in?" His voice was hoarse.

Jenny bit her lip and stepped aside, opening the door for him to come inside. He stood in the small room uncomfortably with Kelly still fast asleep in his arms. Locking the door, Jenny stepped closer to Jethro. Pulling the black coat away, she looked down at Kelly, her breath caught in her throat.

"What happened?" Placing a hand on top of Kelly's head she inspected the stitches.

"Swing." Jethro answered, he shifted uncomfortably again.

Jenny frowned and pressed a soft kiss to Kelly's curls. She wiped at her cheeks, unaware that she had allowed a few stray tears to slip down her cheeks.

"Can I put her down somewhere?" Jethro grit his teeth against the numbing pain in his shoulders and arms.

Jenny nodded but didn't move or say a word. She drew her bottom lip between her teeth again and chewed it thoughtfully. Looking down the small hall to the second bedroom she turned back to Jethro, moving closer to him. She cleared her throat, "Uhm… Do you think I can uh… lay her down?"

Jethro shifted and handed Kelly over, making sure she was still wrapped in his coat. He dropped the duffel bag on his shoulder near the door. He watched Jenny closely as she cradled Kelly against her chest, a soft smile playing on her lips. He swallowed and gave her a gentle smile as she looked up at him, the tenderness in her emerald eyes enough for the moment.

Jenny tightened her arms around Kelly, closing her eyes against the onslaught of emotions. Licking her lips nervously, Jenny padded towards the second bedroom. Stopping in the doorway, she looked back down at Kelly. It hadn't actually been that long since the last time she had seen Kelly, two maybe three weeks, but she could have sworn the little girl had grown over night.

The light in the bedroom turned on and she could feel Jethro behind her. She felt his hot breath on her neck and she moved away from him, not sure if having him this close was such a good idea.

Jenny sunk down on the bed, still holding Kelly. She was reluctant to put her down, she wanted to hold her a little while longer, remember what it felt like to have the little bundle of joy near her. She listened to Jethro move around next to her, the thick comforter and blankets rustling quietly as he pulled them back.

He was in front of her again, holding his arms out to take his daughter. Jenny shook her head, not wanting him to take Kelly from her. He stepped back, still not saying anything. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Jenny manoeuvred herself so she could lay Kelly down. Placing the toddler amongst the pillows she brushed a few curls off her forehead placing a gentle kiss next to the stitches, and quickly moving away from the bed.

Jenny left them in the spare bedroom, she was dangerously close to loosing her composure. Rushing back to the living room she reached for the bottle of bourbon instead of the tumbler. She had a feeling she'd need the whole bottle instead a few glasses. Taking a healthy swig, she made a quiet noise of disgust as she tasted the whiskey.

A door closed quietly. Placing the bottle back on the coffee table she turned to face Jethro, feeling the need to just look at him.

He was leaning against the wall, his hands buried in his jean pockets. The snow in his dark cropped hair had melted, causing the dark stands to drip water on his face. The deep blue sweater he wore under his leather jacket only accentuated his eyes – and the guarded look in them.

Jenny shifted under his scrutiny. She hadn't had a chance to process the fact that he was a few feet away from her. It bothered her that she couldn't make out how he was feeling, those blue eyes usually gave her some insight on how Jethro was feeling. Had her decision really affect them so much? If it did, why was he here?

Jenny pressed her lips together in a thin line, she pulled herself to her full height she tilted her chin up refusing to let him intimidate her, "Why are you here? Or more importantly, how did you find me?"

Jethro cleared his throat and pushed away from the wall, making his way towards her. Reaching forward he watched her step back before he took the tumbler that still had a mouthful of bourbon in it. Draining the tumbler, he walked to the other side of the room and placed the tumbler on the breakfast table. He ran his eyes over the room, it looked more like an apartment than a hotel room. Turning back, he ran his eyes over Jenny again, taking in the tiredness in her posture.

"It's hardly a secret that you're here." He said with a sigh, he could feel fatigue and jet lag pull at him.

"That wasn't the question and you know that. I want to know how you found me, and if you realise how much danger you have put yourself and Kelly in?" There was anger tingeing her voice, and he couldn't say that he didn't blame her. He could easily have blown her cover if someone caught on to who he was visiting.

"Ziva." Jethro answered. The Israeli had told him where they were, all he needed to do was get on the first flight out of Washington. Jethro rolled his shoulders and moved to one of the chairs, taking a seat he looked around him.

Picking up the two picture frames he looked them over, his face neutral as he stared at them. Placing them on the coffee table he looked over at Jenny, who seemed to bristle with anger.

Jenny grit her teeth, she should have known her partner had something to do with this. Suddenly the surprise of seeing Jethro on her doorstep disappeared. Running a hand through her damp red hair, she steeled herself, "I don't know why you're here, but I want you to leave."

Jethro let out a sneering laugh, his eyes dark, he licked his lips and looked at Jenny, "I doubt that."

Jenny balled her hands in frustration, "Tell me why you're here before I have hotel security remove you."

Jethro slammed his hand on the coffee table, his cheeks flushed with anger. Getting to his feet, Jethro glared at the woman across from him, a few strides had him right in front of her. Her eyes were large and dark as she stared up at him, he could see the golden rings around her eyes as her frustration grew. Breathing her in he had to remind himself why he was here.

"You lied to me." He said roughly.

Jenny let out a hollow laugh, stepping closer and crowding him she looked at him with cold emerald eyes, "You're pathetic."

Jethro dropped his head, his nose almost touching hers, "You did it again."

Jenny ground her teeth together, the sound echoing in her head. Placing a hand against his chest she pushed him away from her half-heartedly. Turning her back to him, she looked at the blank wall in front of her, trying to hide her tears.

"You really should leave." She impressed herself with how steady and calm her voice was.

Jethro closed his eyes and shook his head to himself. He couldn't leave her, not when he knew that she was perilously close to throwing her life away for nothing. When he had made the decision to fly roughly 3000 miles just to tell her she was making a mistake, he knew he couldn't leave without telling her how he truly felt about her.

"Not until you tell me about your father." Jethro took a seat again.

Jenny turned around, her eyes darker than before and more guarded than he had ever seen them. The corners of her mouth curled slightly, a sardonic smile creasing her beautiful face. He could see it in her eyes that she knew he had gone through her file – invaded her privacy.

"I'm sure you're capable enough to put two and two together." Jenny bit at him bitterly. She went for the bottle of bourbon, lifting it to her lips and taking a small sip from the amber liquid.

Jethro shifted forward in his chair, reaching out and taking the whiskey from Jenny. Screwing the cap back on he placed the bottle near his feet. He didn't want her drunk or even slightly inebriated, what he had to say was serious and he needed her to see the reality of the situation.

Swallowing heavily, Jethro laced his fingers together. He'd never told anyone this, the only person who actually knew was Mike Franks, only because he had given him what he needed in order to find the bastard. Jethro tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. "I know how it feels." His voice was low and gravely.

"You know nothing." Jenny snapped, her anger simmering under the surface. She felt exposed – stripped bare – because he had seen all the dark secrets she had been trying so hard to hide from him.

Jethro shook his head, angry tears stinging his eyes. "Kelly's mother-" Jethro scrubbed a hand over his face, the colour draining from his cheeks, "she was murdered."

He grit his teeth, his top lip curling in anger and frustration, he let an audible growl slip through his teeth. His chin quivered with the amount of force he used to grit his teeth. He looked at Jenny, "My wife was murdered because she wanted to do the right thing." he met her sparkling green eyes, "Do you know how that feels?"

Abandoning his spot he made his way to where Jenny was seated. He watched her move back, unsure of what he was going to do. Jethro dropped to his knees, wrapping his hands behind her knees and pulling her to the edge of her chair.

He slid a hand into her hair, pulling her face towards his. Jethro closed his eyes as he rested his forehead against hers. Her skin was hot against his, her breath cool against his lips. Placing a hand on her cheek, he wiped the stray tear away with his thumb. He placed his index finger against her temple and applied a little pressure.

"I shot the bastard right there, Jenny." There was the barest hint of a quiver in his voice, "I killed the son of a bitch." he squeezed his eyes tightly against the memory.

Jenny swallowed audibly, "How did it feel?" she croaked.

Jethro was quiet, still holding her close to him. He licked his lips, pulling back he let go of her, lifting himself onto the coffee table he sat right in front of her. He held her small hand in his much larger one, running his thumb over her knuckles. "Like I just made the biggest mistake of my life."

"He killed your wife," Jenny said disbelievingly, "the mother of your child."

Jethro licked his suddenly dry lips again. "And killing him didn't bring her back."

The pain in his eyes were unmistakable as he looked at her. Jenny pulled away from him, not sure she could handle him touching her. Pulling her feet onto the couch, she wrapped her arms around her knees, staring at Jethro as he inspected his hands. "I'm sorry." She said quietly.

Jethro nodded, knowing she understood what he had gone through when he lost Shannon. It registered that it was still different, his wife hadn't been accused of treason. He tried reaching for Jenny again but she leaned away from him, uncomfortable with their proximity. Dropping his hand on his thigh he sighed.

"Revenge," Jethro said quietly, watching Jenny's head snapped up and glare at him, "that's what you want. That's why you walked away."

"I'd rather prove my father's innocence, than be trapped in a marriage that wouldn't have survived."

It was Jethro's turn to give her a hollow laugh, it still stung that she had walked away from what they had. "Killing the man you assume is your father's killer doesn't prove his innocence."

"No," Jenny bit back, her eyes smouldering with anger, "but it would make me feel better knowing he got what he deserved."

Jethro shook his head, a sarcastic smile curling his lips, the doubt in her voice was glaringly obvious. Jenny wasn't a cold blooded killer, she had too much compassion and humanity to be able to kill someone without a reason. The only reason she was chasing La Grenouillewas because she believed he had killed her father, and he had evidence to prove it.

Slipping a hand in the inside pocket of his leather jacket, Jethro pulled out a rolled up bundle of papers. Rolling the rubber band off of it, he smoothed the papers open. He looked them over before meeting Jenny's curious gaze. Placing the papers next to him, he reached for her hands, taking them in his he looked at her intently.

"I want to help you, Jen. I don't want you to throw your life away over something that wouldn't be as satisfying as you had hoped." Jethro cleared his throat, this was taking more out of him than he had thought. Taking the papers next to him he handed them over. "Your father had discovered that the CIA had a dirty agent. He was going to expose not only the agent but his handler as well. You and I both know how the Arms World works – your father died a hero, Jenny."

Jenny looked at the file guardedly, "Yet he was called a traitor, dishonourably discharged after he had devoted his entire life to the Army."

"Leon already has CID reopening the investigation. They'll get these guys the right way." Jethro moved to the edge of the coffee table. Placing his hands on Jenny's knees he met her emerald eyes, "This isn't you, Jen. Let them catch these bastards." taking a deep breath he pushed on, "I wouldn't want Kelly throwing her life away over something that could have been resolved the right way. I doubted your father would want you to do that."

Jenny yanked her knees away from him violently, crawling to the other side of the couch and glaring at him with a dark look in her eyes. "My father would still be dead, no matter how his murderer is caught."

"It hurts, I know it does, Jen." Jethro growled through his teeth. He moved to the open spot right next to Jenny, he grabbed her arm gently stopping her from moving away. "You have to let go."

"That's rich coming from you." Jenny tried pulling away again but he tightened his grip. Poking a finger in his chest she allowed a few angry tears to slip, "You didn't move on." she pressed a closed fist against his chest, digging her knuckles into his hard muscles.

Jethro bit his tongue, he knew this was his chance to come clean, to tell her how he truly felt.

"You're right." Stopping her from grinding her fist into his chest he looked at her sincerely. "I have a child with her." Jethro swallowed and took a deep breath, "I thought I would never be able to move on. But I was wrong. You do move on, you just never forget."

"That supposed to make me feel better?" Jenny asked softly, having given up on trying to get away from Jethro.

Jethro laughed softly, shaking his head he let go of her, he rested an arm on the back of the couch while the other found its way to her thigh. "Hopin' it would."

Jenny smiled and rolled her eyes, she had missed his strange sense of comfort and humour. She didn't know if things between them would ever be the same as before. Placing a hand over his she met his azure eyes, "What changed?" She couldn't imagine moving on after the loss he had gone through, especially since she knew the nature of Shannon's death.

Jethro cleared his throat, he moved around nervously, "I met you."

"Jethro-" Jenny stopped when he held up a hand.

Jethro let out an almost shaky breath. The hand on her thigh tightened and the other found its way to her cheek, his thumb stroking the soft skin he found.

"I love you, Jenny." Jethro moved closer, his nose almost bumping hers, "I really mean it."

Jenny bit her lip, placing her own hand on his cheek, she stroked his day old stubble. Moving closer she rested her forehead against his, a few tears rolling down her cheek. She was beyond the point of worrying what he'd think if he saw her crying, they had shared enough painful and intimate moments to know that sometimes it couldn't be helped.

"What I said, about this not working." She felt him stiffen. "I lied, I want this to work." Jenny shifted onto her knees, pressing her cheek against Jethro's, feeling his stubble scratch her cheek. Closing her eyes she pressed her lips against his ear. He gripped her arms, kneading the sore muscles. Sliding a hand in his soft hair she pulled him against her, "I love you too."

Jethro pulled away fractionally. He smiled up at her, taking in her large and warm green eyes, the same eyes that had caught his attention the first time he had seen her. Sliding both hands in her hair, he cradled her head in his hands. He leaned up, his lips brushing hers softly, he heard her breathing hitch.

"Jenny..." Jethro said thickly, he disentangled a hand from her hair and slid it into his jacket's breast pocket.

Jenny sat back, looking at him expectantly, but refusing to move away from him.

Jethro pulled the ring out of his jacket pocket, holding it between his thumb and index finger. Looking at Jenny a little unsure, he swallowed down his nerves and stood, pulling her to her feet as well.

Jethro knelt down on one knee – trying to ignore the pain – holding the ring in his palm. He was aware that he probably didn't have to go through the trouble of getting down on one knee again, but he wanted to do it right. He gave her a smile as he looked up at her.

"Jenny, will you marry me?"

Jenny bit her lip, she smiled at him, "Yes!"

Jethro struggled to his feet, taking Jenny's hand he slipped the ring on her finger.

"It's perfect." Jenny said breathlessly.

Jethro slipped his hands in her hair again, pulling her impossibly closer, their chests pressing together as they breathed the same air. They pressed their foreheads together, both smiling. He brushed his lips over hers, he ran the tip of his tongue over her bottom lip and she welcomed him.

Jenny moaned quietly as she tasted him, weeks of nothing but memories had only made her long for him more. Fisting a hand in his short hair she pulled him closer, wanting him to consume her. Somehow kissing him now felt different. They knew each other now, knew the others dark secrets, and loved each other none the less. Jethro deepened their kiss and she let herself get lost.

They had stumbled to her bedroom, lacking all the finesse they occasionally had when they tried to get the other undressed. They had managed to make it down the hall and into the room without waking Kelly or knocking something over.

Jenny let out a satisfied sigh as she felt Jethro's warm breath on her abdomen, his skin was slick and hot as he moved over her, his lips trailing between the valley of her breasts. She threw her head back as he latched onto one of her breasts, biting her lip she reached down and threaded her fingers in his hair. Her body was on fire, everything inside her seemed to be screaming for attention.

Jethro grazed his teeth over the sensitive bud and watched with fascination as her entire body broke out in goosebumps. Trailing teasing kisses further up her body, he met Jenny's dark green eyes, he felt himself tighten to the point where it was down right painful. He felt her wet heat press against his heated flesh and he had to take a moment to stop himself from plundering the moment.

Dropping his head in the crook of her neck, he found the spot where her pulse was hammering against her delicate skin. He bit down softly before laving the angry red marks with his tongue.

Jenny arched under Jethro's ministrations. Their brief stint of celibacy was only making her need grow, she hadn't noticed the primal need until he was touching her and kissing her until her lungs burned. Tightening her legs around his waist, she used brute force to roll him onto his back. Jenny gasped when she felt his tip press just shy of sliding into her. Looking down at him through her lashes, she could see he was struggling with keeping his control. Leaning down she kissed him, she felt him cup her breasts and moaned into his mouth.

Jethro pushed himself up on his arms, shifting around he sat up. His hands gripped Jenny's hips as she took him in her hand. Meeting her eyes he felt her move and then her heat engulfed him, his moan got stuck in his throat as she mewled in his ear, he could feel that he was buried up to the hilt.

Jenny rocked her hips experimentally and they both gasped in surprise, the angle was exquisite. Lacing her fingers in Jethro's hair she started moving against him. Crashing her lips against his, she kissed him breathlessly as he moved inside her.

Jethro wrapped his arms around Jenny, pulling her against his chest. He felt the familiar tingle run down his spine as Jenny's muscles quivered and then clenched around him. He heard her moan against his throat as her body convulsed, drawing him over the edge and sending him into white hot oblivion.

They held each other close, listening to the others ragged breathing. They kissed slowly as they eased down from their high. Jenny sat back, cupping Jethro's cheeks in her hands, brushing her thumb over his lips he smiled at her that lopsided grin. The engagement ring glinted in the soft light coming from the bed lamp.

Jethro took her hand in his, placing a soft kiss to the tips of her fingers he looked at her with crystal blue eyes. "Jenny, I can't promise that things will always be easy, but..." he trailed off.

Jenny leaned against him, snuggling closer. Slipping a hand in her hair Jethro pulled her in for a kiss. Drawing away he smiled at her again, "But I'll always love you."

Jenny smiled back at him, hugging him against her she ran a hand through his hair, "Someone once told me that, it wouldn't be called love if it were easy."

---

May (4 months later)

---

They stood off to the side, watching through the glass windows as an occasional plane landed on the large stretch of tarmac. Jethro shifted uncomfortably, he knew that his anxiousness was showing. Looking around him he saw his now four-year-old daughter hop between the group of people that had accompanied them to the airport. He smiled to himself as she giggle and hopped towards him.

Kelly leaned her head against his thigh and looked out of the window with him. Crouching beside her, he pulled her into him. He knew she was trying her best to stay calm while they waited, she had been anxious about Jenny's return since the day they had left Paris.

The last four months had been brutal for all three of them. They were only allowed to talk once every three weeks, with the only exception that Jenny called them from a secure line at the Paris field office. It had been hard knowing she was miles away putting herself in danger on a daily basis with no guarantee that she would make it out alive.

However, the last two months had been the worst. From the little Jenny had divulged, he knew they had closed in on their main dealer – the same man who had killed her father – and for eight excruciatingly long weeks he hadn't heard from her. Leon did inform him that they had been sent to the Czech Republic again and that she had been injured with a chance of her not making it. Consequently leading him to turn the whole of NCIS on its head just so he could find out if she was okay.

"Daddy?" Kelly broke through his reverie.

"Yeah, Kel?" Jethro planted a kiss on her forehead, right over the large scar.

"Is Jenny going to go away again?" Kelly asked quietly, her blue eyes large and concerned.

"No, honey, she's staying right here with us." Jethro smiled when she clapped her hands excitedly. Standing back up he lifted her onto his hip. It was a rare occurrence these days that Kelly asked to be picked up, she was becoming more independent and it saddened him.

"When you and Jenny get married, is she going to be my mommy for real?" Kelly leaned her head against her father's shoulder, watching as a plane descended until it made contact with the tarmac.

"Do you want her to be your mommy?" Jethro asked tentatively. They had tried explaining what it meant that they were engaged, but the concept had somewhat been lost on Kelly. It had been clear that Kelly was aware that Jenny wasn't her real mother, but she wanted her to be none the less.

"Yes, very much." Kelly said with a soft sigh before letting a big yawn escape.

Jethro smiled and hugged her closer. He and Jenny hadn't really discussed much about when they would get married, and if it were up to him he'd have her at the alter the very next day.

The warm Virginia sun felt good on her skin as she walked through the terminal. She didn't think she'd ever see the United States again after they had left so abruptly. Ziva ran a hand through her thick curls, she had surprised herself when she had requested to be transferred back to America with Jenny. She felt like she belonged here and that was all that mattered to her.

Looking to her left she watched as Jenny waltzed beside her, a warm smile gracing her features as she searched the crowd of people. The difference in her partner was palpable since Gibbs had flown out to Paris; she knew that their conspiracy to get him there could easily have blown up in their faces – but seeing Jenny now and how much she had change – it was well worth it.

As for her and Tony, she wasn't exactly sure what was going to happen between them. They hadn't spoken to each other since he had seen her off at this very airport. There were a lot of things she had to deal with before she could consider having a serious relationship – with anyone. For now all she wanted was to be friends, and eventually see where that would lead them.

Jenny adjusted her duffel bag on her shoulder. Running her thumb over her ring finger, she couldn't help the smile that curled her lips. It still felt strange having the ring on her finger, she hadn't worn it in the last four months, but it had always hung around her neck along with the emerald stone he had given her.

The excitement of seeing them was almost unbearable. There had been an abundance of tears when she had called Kelly on her birthday in March – she had wanted to be there with all her heart but circumstances didn't allow it. That had also been the last time she had talked to them before last night.

"Jenny!"

The delighted squeal had her looking up. She searched the crowd almost frantically for a pair of electric blue eyes. It wasn't long before a tiny body emerged amongst the sea of people, her All Star sneakers squeaking as she ran towards Jenny. Dropping her duffel bag on the floor, Jenny knelt down and caught Kelly just before she could crash into her.

Jenny hugged Kelly against her, burying her nose in the soft curls. She had missed her more than she could ever explain.

"Jenny, I missed you so much." Kelly whispered in her ear, "I don't want you to go away, ever, ever, ever, ever again. Promise you won't go away."

"I promise I'll never leave you again." Jenny said thickly as she hugged Kelly closer to her. Picking her up, she slung her duffel over her shoulder. Jenny grit her teeth against the pain in her thigh. She scanned the people in front of her again, seeing a number of familiar faces as they waved at them excitedly.

Blue eyes met green.

They smiled at each other. Jenny placed Kelly on the floor and watched her scamper off towards Ziva and attacking her in a hug. The others stepped aside to let her through. The duffel bag dropped to the floor again and he reached for her as soon as she was within reach.

Jethro placed a hand on her cheek reverently, silently telling himself that she was there in front of him. He dropped his head against hers softly, breathing her and simply looking at her. Cupping the back of her head he pulled her into a kiss.

They didn't care about who saw them or what people thought. It didn't take much for them to deepen their kiss, catching up on four months of no physical contact. It was only Ducky's slightly nervous cough that had them pulling away from each other. Jethro smirked at her and gave her a soft kiss.

"I missed you, Jen." Jethro said hoarsely as he watched her eyes water slightly.

"I missed you too." She blinked and wiped at her eyes.

Jethro hugged Jenny against him, he met Ziva's dark gaze and gave her a smile. Turning his attention back to Jenny he brushed his fingers over her cheeks and wiped away her tears. Their quiet moment was interrupted when Kelly crashed into her father's legs. They both reached for her and supported her on their arms.

Kelly looked between the two adults, her lips pursed in seriousness, "We should get married tomorrow."

"DiNozzo!" They both snapped at the young Italian who was already hiding behind a wide eyed Abby.

Jethro shook his head and turned back to Jenny. They placed Kelly back on the ground and left her to watch the planes take off and land.

"I thought I lost you there for a moment, Jen." Jethro whispered.

"That'll be the day." Jenny smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

She was finally home.

---

Hoped you enjoyed the happy ending, I know I did. All that's left is the epilogue, and I have to confess that I'm a little emotional about finishing this story, since it is my first one and all of you have been so wonderful in your support. I'm already working on a new story and that should be up a week or two after this story is finished. I wanted to do something in the supernatural category but I'd rather hear your thoughts on that before I started with something like that.

Thank you for reading. As always your thoughts are welcome ;)