Five Years Old - May 2011

"And I'd do anything for you. I'd do anything just to hold you in my arms, to try to make you laugh. 'Cause somehow I can't put you in the past. I'd do anything just to fall asleep with you. Will you remember me? 'Cause I know I won't forget you." - Simple Plan, "I'd Do Anything"

"Elizabeth!" Radek called, rushing into her office. Elizabeth looked up, hopeful. "They found him." She dropped the file she had been reading onto her desk and ran after him into the Control Room. The Gate was just being shut down as they got there.

"We've got to get him into the infirmary, stat!" Carson called as they wheeled the gurney down the ramp of the puddle jumper.

There was a sharp intake of breath from Elizabeth when she saw the bloodied figure being rushed to the infirmary. "Oh, John, what have you done to yourself now?" she whispered, then double-timed it down the stairs, Zelenka following closely behind. "Carson, what happened?" she asked anxiously, running alongside the medical team.

"I don't know Elizabeth," Carson answered impatiently, "but we've got to get some more blood into him and get him stable or we might lose him. I can't be answering your questions right now."

"Of course," Elizabeth said, somewhat subdued. She and Radek followed the team into the infirmary, where they were once again resigned to sitting outside the operating room, waiting and hoping.

XXXXXX

Elizabeth was pulled from her catnap by Carson calling her name. Seeing the doctor walking over to them, she quickly hopped up. "How's he doing, Carson?" she asked nervously.

Carson's expression was grave. "I have no idea what kind of creature attacked him," he informed them, "but he's lost a lot of blood. He's also got three broken ribs, a broken ankle, and a serious concussion." Elizabeth brought a hand up to her mouth. "We've got him on a breathing tube and he's stable for the moment." Radek released the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Carson looked at the floor for a minute, trying to get up the strength to deliver the worse news. "Unfortunately," he said, finally meeting Elizabeth's gaze, "we haven't detected any brain activity since we got him back here."

Elizabeth closed her eyes, sucking her lower lip between her teeth and chewing it worriedly. Willing her "calm and collected" façade not to break, she looked back up at Carson, taking a deep breath. "Keep me updated on his condition," she said passively.

"You'll be the first to know if anything changes," Carson said with a nod.

"Radek," she began, "shall we, um…get back to what we were working on?"

"Of course, Elizabeth," Zelenka replied quietly, and the two of them left the infirmary.

"Well, Carson," the physician said to himself, "this day can't possibly get any worse." He turned to attend to another patient and suddenly had a thought that stopped him dead in his tracks. 'Oh, crap. I've got to tell Evie.'

XXXXXX

It took Carson another hour of attending patients before he worked up the nerve to call Evie to the infirmary. "Captain," he said when she entered the room. "I need to speak with you about an important matter."

"I'm right here, Carson," Evie said, holding up her hands.

"Privately," he said in a somber tone. Evie looked at him quizzically, then nodded. "We can talk in my office," he said, gesturing for her to lead the way.

Once inside, with the door shut, Evie said, "What's this about, Carson?" At his reluctance to speak, her eyes widened. "Oh, gosh, I'm not pregnant again, am I?"

"I only wish it were something that pleasant," he answered gravely. He paused for a moment, then met her gaze again. "Evie…Colonel Sheppard has been injured."

Evie licked her lips nervously and began absently wringing her hands as she had a habit of doing. "H-he's not…dead, is he?"

"No." Carson shook his head and Evie sighed in relief. "But he's been wounded very seriously. At this point…we've barely got him stable," he added somewhat hesitantly.

Evie looked down. "Is he going to make it?" she asked quietly.

Carson sighed; he wasn't going to lie to her. "I don't know, love. I really don't."

Evie closed her eyes and continued fiddling with her hands. After an agonizing minute of 'what if's going through her mind, she looked back up at Carson. "I want to see him," she said in a voice just above a whisper.

"Evie, I really don't thin--"

"I want to see him!"

Carson could tell her voice was threatening to break. "Alright," he conceded. "But he's in pretty bad shape." Evie nodded solemnly, then allowed Carson to lead her from his office to one of the private rooms off the Atlantis infirmary. "Wait here just a moment," he said, knocking lightly on the door. "I think the colonel might already have a visitor or two." Evie nodded as Carson stepped inside and began talking with whomever was in there. She leaned her back against the wall and sighed heavily. And the last thing she'd done was yell at him…

Rodney exited the room a few moments later, giving Evie a sympathetic glance. "A'right, love," Carson said from the doorway, "you can see him now."

Taking a deep breath, Evie brushed past the doctor and stepped inside, hearing Carson shut the door behind them. She gasped and brought a hand up to her mouth when she saw her husband lying in the hospital bed. "Please, God…"

There was a bandage taped over heaven knew how serious a cut above his severely blackened left eye. His instability was evidenced by the breathing tube down his throat and the electrodes on his forehead. There were an infinite number of scratches and bite marks on his arms, ranging in severity from moderate to deep. The sheet had been pulled back after his temperature had flared and Evie could see the thick bandage around his torso, indicating broken ribs. A broken ankle or foot was the last injury she saw, the wounded limb propped up at the foot of the bed. The steady 'beep…beep…beep' of John's heart monitor was the only sound in the room as Beckett waited for her reaction.

Tears slipping down her cheeks, Evie turned to Carson and threw her arms around his neck. "There, there, love," he murmured, gently wrapping his arms around her and patting her back.

"Tell me he's gonna be alright," she sobbed into his shoulder.

"Shh… Let us hope," he said in his soothing brogue. "Let us hope."

After crying in Carson's arms for several minutes, Evie managed to regain her composure somewhat. "Thanks," she sniffled.

"That's what I'm here for," he said gently.

Wiping her eyes, she looked at the large wet spot on the shoulder of his lab coat. "Sorry 'bout your sleeve," she mumbled.

"It'll dry, love," he replied with a smile as he reached into his pocket. "Now, I have other patients to attend to but you're welcome to sit with him a while, if you'd like."

Blowing her nose into the Kleenex he offered, she murmured, "Thank you, Carson." He nodded as he exited the room, closing the door behind him.

Biting her lip, Evie slowly walked over to the side of the bed, sitting in the chair that Rodney had pulled close. "Hey, baby," she said, voice still trembling slightly. She gently took his hand in hers. Trying to make light of the situation, she teased, "I see you managed to get your shirt off." Her smile quickly faded. "C'mon, John, you can shake this. You always do." The slow, steady beeping of his heart monitor wasn't very comforting. "And the last thing I did was yell at you…" she whispered, a tear slipping down her cheek. "Man, baby, I am so sorry." She squeezed his hand.

When more tears came a moment later, Evie didn't try to stop them. She brought his hand up to her face and gently brushed her lips over his knuckles. "You've got to pull through this, John," she murmured, her voice breaking. "For me…for Aiden…" She stroked his hand worriedly. "Please, John," she begged through her tears. "I can't lose you." Her stomach lurched at the thought. He had to wake up. She didn't know what she'd do with herself if he didn't make it through this. The last time she had wanted anything so badly was when she first realized that John Sheppard was indeed worth the risk…

Ugh. Evie hated these situations. The ones where her stomach tied up in knots. Where she didn't know what she wanted. Well, she knew what she wanted, but knew that she couldn't have it. And yet, here it was being offered to her. She reasoned to herself that she'd never really kissed the man. The first one didn't count because she'd had no say in the matter. Sure, she'd kissed him back, but if it had been up to her, it never would have happened and this longing within her would never have been stirred. The second kiss was pretty much all him, too, those few seconds in the infirmary. And now here they were again. They'd been talking for nearly two hours on one of the rec room couches, in their pajamas, as it was well past four in the morning. Finally feeling tired enough to sleep, she had said she was returning to her quarters. He had given her that look. That look that held her there, searched her eyes, and asked for all that she was willing to give.

Knowing that her innocent gaze did nothing to hide her own longing, Evie swallowed nervously. Her eyes darted for a second to his lips, his wonderful, soft lips. Returning to his emerald eyes, she could have sworn she saw them darken with desire. The voice of reason in her head screamed at her not to act on this as she slowly - oh, so slowly - leaned over to lose herself in a passionate kiss with this wonderful man. She paused, her lips an inch away from his, as emotion fought with reason inside her head.

Sensing her wariness, John didn't force anything, but slowly brought his mouth closer to hers. Reason finally defeating emotion, Evie turned her head away. "We can't," she whispered, looking down. "Someone might catch us." After an awkward pause, she mumbled, "I should just…" and stood to leave.

She had almost made it to the door when she felt his hand on her shoulder. "What if I thought you were worth the risk?"

Curse that man. Curse that wonderful, handsome, romantic man. With a muttered, "Oh, heck," Evie turned around and kissed him, their lips meeting in a fiery declaration of desire. She wrapped her arms around his neck as they each battled for control of the kiss. He drew her body against his as he slid his hands across her back, gently caressing. Evie knew he wanted something more than just a kiss, but she refused to cave to his-- Oh, crap. He was sucking on her bottom lip. She hadn't thought it possible to melt any further into his embrace, but when he began nibbling, she did just that.

A minute later, Evie pulled away, panting lightly. She rested her forehead against his and closed her eyes. "I…" She had intended to finish with "shouldn't have let that happen", but didn't. She was terribly hot and bothered now, not to mention confused. Looking at him, she saw the same uncertain look reflected in his eyes. It looked somewhat more sated than it did a minute ago, but still slightly unsure. Having the sense to leave before she said or did something she would later regret, she murmured, "Goodnight, sir," before quickly leaving the room…

XXXXXX

"Elizabeth… Elizabeth…" Ugh, that person needed to hush. Now she felt a hand gently rubbing her back. She opened her eyes and saw that her computer had successfully received whatever transmission she had been waiting for. It had apparently taken long enough that she had fallen asleep with her head propped on her hand. "Have you not been sleeping well?" Radek asked, leaning against the desk.

Elizabeth rubbed her eyes and stretched out her stiff arm. "No, I'm sleeping fine, Radek," she answered, still trying to fully wake up. "I've just…been kind of tired lately. I don't know wh-- Damn." She rubbed a hand over her forehead.

"Something wrong?"

"I'm fine," she said, waving off his concern. "I've just had a headache on and off all day."

"Have you gone to see Carson?" Radek asked, crossing his arms.

"No, but-- Don't give me that look. It's not that bad," she insisted.

"Elizabeth, you are not the one who falls asleep at your desk," he said with a frown. "That right is reserved for McKay and myself." She rolled her eyes. "Now, do I need to have someone escort you down to the infirmary or will you go yourself?"

"Radek, really, I don--"

Zelenka took her hand and led her out of her office. "Sergeant," he called to Chuck, who was getting up from his workstation to retrieve another cup of coffee.

"Yes, Doctor?"

"Would you please see to it that Dr. Weir gets to the infirmary and is examined by Dr. Beckett?"

"Yes, sir," Chuck answered with a nod, then gestured for Elizabeth to lead the way. "After you, ma'am." Elizabeth shot Radek a glare and then trudged off to the infirmary, pouting the whole way.

Today was Saturday. Saturday was pool day -- billiards that is. Every Saturday when they weren't off-world, Rodney challenged John to a game of eight-ball. Every Saturday John won. But not this Saturday. Not last Saturday either, because John had been in a coma for the past eight days. Rodney returned to his quarters after getting an update on Sheppard's condition, only to find the place full of children. Aaron, Aiden, Rachel, Caitlyn, and Dakota were playing their version of "War."

"Daddy, come pway wif us!" Dakota called.

Rodney wasn't in a very playful mood. "Not now, Koda," he said, brushing past her outstretched hand.

Sensing her father's depression, Caitlyn thought for a minute, then called, "Daddy, you hafta fiss our 'BPM'! Only you can fiss it!" She pointed to the orange construction paper tube they had colored to resemble a ZPM. "It bwoke and da Waif are coming!"

On cue, Aaron and Aiden began chasing the girls around the room.

As she ran, Rachel reached a hand to her ear as she had seen her father and mother do and said, "Uncle Rodney, we need weapons!" as she had heard Elizabeth do.

Rodney had to smile. Then he sighed and walked over to their "ZPM" and began pretending to mess with it. "Oh, no. This is bad! Doctor Caitlyn, I need your help!" Caitlyn managed to dodge away from Aaron and ran over to help her father. The boys growled "ferociously" as they continued their pursuit.

When Aiden finally cornered Dakota, she made a gun with her fingers. "Boom! Boom! You're dead!"

"Nu-uh," he said, shaking his head. "I'm a Wraith! I'm all better again! Rowr!" He put his hand on her chest and cried, "Die, die, die!" Dakota squealed.

"We have weapons!" Rodney called.

Caitlyn quickly ran over and picked up a ball off the floor. She ran over and threw it at Aiden. "Dat's a dwone! Now you dead!"

Aiden made a show of dying and then fell to the floor. Rachel then grabbed the ball and bonked it repeatedly on Aaron's head. "You're dead, too!" Aaron stuck his tongue out at her and then yanked the ball out of her hands and began bouncing it up and down. Rachel ran over to Dakota. "My Daddy can make you all better!" she said with a smile.

"And my Daddy saved us!" Dakota said, grinning widely. "Yay for Daddy!"

Rodney smiled. The little rugrats had actually succeeded in cheering him up.

"Dear, I think we have a problem."

Radek looked up from his riveting game of minesweeper when he heard his wife's voice. He'd been so wrapped up in the game he hadn't heard her enter their quarters. "Are you all right?" he asked, concerned, as he put his laptop aside and patted the spot next to him on the bed. "What is it?"

"I'm fine," Elizabeth answered as she sat down beside him, looking somewhat dazed. "At least, I should be fine. Carson says that the chances of anything going wrong are very slight…"

"Going wrong with what, miláček?" he asked again, patiently, but starting to get worried.

"Haven't I said?" she asked and let out a humorous little laugh. "I'm usually so good with words…"

"Miláček, what is it?" He was very concerned now.

"Radek, I'm…I'm five weeks pregnant," Elizabeth finally confessed with a sigh.

He blinked at her for a moment, then a broad smile lit up his face. "But, milovník, that's wonderful!" He leaned over and kissed her lovingly.

Elizabeth closed her eyes and returned the embrace for a moment. Then she pulled away. "Radek," she said, looking down, "I'm not as young as I used to be. I mean…people my age shouldn't be having babies… Biologically, I should have been finished a long time ago. Th-the risks of pregnancy after 35 are 40 percent higher an--"

"Carson is the best medical doctor in this galaxy," Radek comforted, cutting off her worries. "You will be fine." With a grin he added, "You will both be fine."

Elizabeth sighed and gave him a grateful smile. "Radek?" she said after a pause.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

He smiled. "I love you, too, Elizabeth."

XXXXXX

Evie went through the next two weeks in a daze; everything was done on auto-pilot. She followed Donovan's orders without question -- and worried. She took care of Aiden -- and worried. She tried her best to keep away from the infirmary -- and worried. She vaguely remembered Summer doing something promotion-worthy and later watched Donovan pin the gold oak leafs on the now-major's uniform. She faintly recollected Michael telling her that his new baby was going to be a boy, Kyle Eric. The only thing she recalled with any clarity were the few updates that Carson gave her when they happened to meet.

Evie was grateful when Aiden finally asked where "Uncle John had gone to"; it gave her an excuse to visit her husband again. "How's he doing, Carson?" Evie asked worriedly when the doctor led her and her son into John's room.

"Well, there's been a wee bit of brain activity the past few days," Carson replied with a gentle smile. "That's definitely progress."

Evie nodded. "He's looking better."

"Aye." John's color had returned and the bruise around his eye was nearly gone. The breathing tube had been removed and Carson had also taken the bandage off his head so there were now only a few stitches there.

"Uncle John!" Aiden cried happily.

"He can't hear you, baby," Evie said gently.

"I'll wake him up!" Aiden volunteered, running over to John's side. "Uncle John," he called, shaking his father's shoulder. "Wake up, Uncle John!"

As if Evie's emotions weren't strained enough already, her son's naiveté had her fighting back tears.

Frowning, Aiden turned back around. "Mommy, why won't Uncle John wake up?"

She swallowed. "Baby, Uncle John is very sick right now…and he needs his rest."

"Then he'll wake up?"

"I hope so, baby." She turned to the doctor standing quietly behind them. "Carson…can you--" She swiped at her eyes. "Can you take him outside? I'll be out in a minute."

Carson gave her a knowing smile and nodded. "Aiden, can you come with me? I want to show you something."

"Okay, Carson!" Aiden said, taking the Scot's hand and following him out of the room.

Evie waited until the door had whooshed shut before speaking to her husband. "Been missing you, baby," she said softly, approaching the bed and gently taking his hand. "Aiden misses you, too." She paused. "So, Carson says you're doing a little better." A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched the limited amount of brain activity on the monitor. "You have to come back from this, John," she begged. "I'll do anything. I'll…" She inhaled shakily. "I'll quit the Air Force for you, John." Her hands nervously stroked his. "And I promise I'll never even think about pickles and ice cream again." This was an attempt to lighten things, but as that had been one of her pregnant cravings, it reminded her of her miscarriage and caused more tears to fall.

She gasped when she suddenly felt his hand tighten lightly around hers. "John!" She glanced up at the electroencephalograph and saw the lines dancing only slightly more than they had been earlier. She squeezed his hand again and felt the tiniest grip in return. "Oh, thank God," she breathed and felt more tears start cascading down her cheeks. Tears of sheer relief. She'd never felt so relieved. Gently kissing his hand, she murmured, "You always did know how to make my day, John…"