Here is an extra long chapter for you all! I must admit, whilst I was proof reading this chapter, I think it's my favourite! So I hope you all enjoy it and please review!
Chapter Fourteen
Sitting on top of Dale's RV comforted her, she could see all around herself, she could examine her surroundings efficiently. She knew that in that moment, when she could see that the coast was clear…she wasn't about to get killed.
"Thought you could use some reading material," Dale said as he climbed slowly up on top of the RV beside her, he stood, looking out over the fields.
"Thanks," Lila smiled, taking the book from Dale and automatically glancing at the back.
"You're very welcome," He sighed, crossing his arms, "The radio didn't make a sound all day, in case you were wondering," Dale added. Lila was grateful, she hadn't wanted to ask, but she'd been curious as to whether or not anyone had heard her message.
"I'd guessed as much," She laughed apathetically, "Am I being ridiculous? Thinking that there's a chance they could be alive?" Lila looked up at Dale, who was stood over her, admiring the night sky.
He shrugged and gave her a warm smile, "There's always hope…and there's nothing ridiculous about it. It's once you start losing hope that you need to worry," Dale said, his hand gave her shoulder a light squeeze.
"That's a good book, don't lose it," He added playfully as he climbed back down from the RV. Lila smiled to herself, but it soon faded as thoughts about Erik and her family flooded back. After all this time, after everything she'd be through, she could understand missing her family, her home…but missing Erik? She hated him so much it felt like her insides were burning just at the thought of his name. But his death had been her fault, she'd killed him. Hadn't she?
The ladder rattled against the RV and Lila turned to find Daryl making his way up top.
"Heard you caught a walker, they're gettin' closer to camp every day," Daryl said casually as he sat down next to Lila. The warmth that radiated from his skin was enough to make Lila sweat, she wanted to run her hands over the rough, dirtied skin of his arms…but the images of Carol and him flooded back to the forefront of her mind and she stopped herself.
"Someone's not their usual, irritatin' self," Daryl scoffed as he picked at his crossbow.
"Shut up," Lila groaned, opening up the book Dale had given her and pretending to read a few pages. She knew that Daryl was watching her, but she could bring herself to turn to look at him. Daryl grabbed the book from her hands and Lila swiftly looked over to catch him staring at her.
"Real mature, Dixon," Lila stated.
"You gunna tell me what the hells wrong with you all of a sudden?"
"What? You missing me falling at your feet like I've been doin' every other day lately?" Lila replied sarcastically, tilting her head to one side as she studied his expression, Daryl just frowned at her before shaking his head.
"Whatever," He muttered, turning away from her.
"Why'd you get me the radio Daryl? Why'd you kiss me? And why exactly did you come running to the rescue this morning?" Lila's questioning caught him off guard and he found himself staring deep into her eyes.
"If you're only doin' this shit because you think I expect it from you, don't bother. I don't need no sympathy from you and I've said plenty of times I don't need looking after. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to get some sleep before I have to wake up in the morning and start this shit all over again," Lila yelled, she swung herself down from the RV and jogged angrily back to her tent, snapping the zip down hastily before she through herself into her makeshift bed. Daryl Dixon was fucking with her head, and right now, that was the last thing she needed.
"You expectin' me to come runnin' after you every time you have a personality crisis girl?" Daryl's voice called from outside her tent, "You're becomin' more trouble than your worth," He added quietly as he opened her tent and walked inside.
"Get out, jackass," Lila shouted, turning over onto her side.
"You're one bad tempered bitch when you wanna be, LB," Daryl hissed as he sat down next to her makeshift bed, he allowed himself to fall back onto the floor, his arms beneath his head.
"Get out," Lila repeated, but didn't move nor reply, he just lay there on the floor completely still.
When Lila moved over to push him out of the tent, his hand gripped around her arm and brought her tumbling to the ground, he swiftly rolled on top of her, trapping her beneath him. Daryl took note of the way her breathing quickened and her heart began beating solidly against her chest.
"You might hate me, ain't nothing I can do bout that," Daryl said quietly, his face so close to Lila's that his breath was running over the softened skin of her lips.
"I don't hate you, I just don't know why you're such an ass," Lila struggled beneath him, but he didn't move, instead he just took her hands in his, moving them above her head as he spoke to her.
"I don't wanna see you dead, you got a problem with that?" He asked.
"What?" Lila frowned.
"You can hate me all you want, I don't give two shits, as long as you're alive to hate me…I'm doin' what I intend to do. That's keepin' you live and kickin' so we can have these delightful conversations, we clear?" Daryl's voice was stern and heavy and Lila found herself nodding in reply.
"Good," Daryl let go of her hands but let his fingertips trace down her side for a moment.
"One more thing," He began before his lips pressed hard against Lila's, his tongue meeting with hers as her hands weaved themselves into his dirtied hair. He pulled away in one sharp motion, leaving Lila writhing for more beneath him.
"Quit askin' me why I kiss you, we ain't in high school," He finalised, getting up from on top of her and leaving the tent, closing the zip behind himself.
"I'll finish your shift, gotta get up early anyhow," Daryl added, his voice fading in the distance. There was no doubt that he was damn good at winning an argument, whether Lila liked it or not.
The next day Lila felt both embarrassed and relieved, a peculiar combination considering last night's events. She pulled herself tiredly out of her tent, rubbing her hands over her neck – pain radiated through her muscles as she moved, the fight with the walker yesterday had taken its toll, her previous dislocated shoulder was definitely feeling the strain.
She remembered what was meant to be happening today and her stomach twisted into knots. Lila glanced over her shoulder towards the barn, it looked so peaceful…for a moment she felt as if perhaps she'd imagined the conversation with Shane, until she seen the look on Rick's face as he spoke to the others. That was when she decided not to let him make the decision, she ran back to her tent and dug out the gun Daryl had given her. Her hands shook with anticipation as she walked towards the barn, forcing the doors open was easy enough, she saw Daryl immediately, slumped against the wall as if he weren't about to witness the end of a life, Shane had the same nonchalant look about him…what had happened to all these people to make them think so casually of death?
"What you doin' in here?" Daryl asked, his eyes moving down to the gun in Lila's hand. Her eyes left his as looked over to Randall.
"Someone beat the shit out of him," Lila said quietly as she studied Randall's bruised and bloodied face.
"No shit," Daryl replied, and it was clear by the stern look in his eyes – he had been the one to do the beating.
"That you?" Randall's voice was croaky and weak, it was obvious he was talking to Lila.
"Miss me?" Lila asked, trying to keep the shakiness of tears from her voice. She walked towards Randall, but before he could reply, she had already pressed her gun into his forehead. Randall's jaw dropped, he was speechless.
"LB," Daryl began, but Lila cut him off.
"All my life I've been waiting for permission, right now I'm not waiting for shit," Lila stated sternly, turning so that her eyes met with Daryl's.
"This was never you're fight, I'm just some girl you picked up off the road and this is just some jackass on a power trip," She paused, looking back at a terrified Randall, "Me and him aren't so different….the end of the world began and we seen it as a chance to escape from whatever rules we'd been ordered to follow beforehand. This guy and me? We were just looking for a little excitement." Lila wiped a tear from her cheek with her spare hand, the other kept the gun pressed firmly into Randall's forehead, so much so that a bruise was beginning to form.
"You're nothing like him," Daryl said quietly, hoping that only Lila could hear him.
"So who am I like? You?" Lila asked, "You've done nothing but use me since I got here. I'm just another plaything to you, just like I was to him and his friends," Lila replied, her voice breaking mid sentence…not because what she was saying upset her, but because of the look in Daryl's eyes. She turned away from him, looking back to Randall.
"Lila don't, we'll take care of this," Rick's voice sounded from the doorway, but Lila paid no attention.
"Least you didn't get bit, Randall, could've been a lot worse," Lila said, a sob erupted from Randall. Her finger tensed against the trigger and as everyone prepared for the final blow, the gun gave an anticlimactic click. Randall let out the sob he'd clearly been holding in his chest before he collapsed to the ground.
Lila dropped to her knees and ripped the blindfold from Randall's eyes, as he looked at her, panicked and frightened, she almost felt sympathetic. But instead of revelling in that sympathy, she pressed the gun to his head again, pulling the trigger a second time…again, it clicked, no bullet exiting the barrel.
"I used to believe in fate…I used to believe in a lot of things," Lila stood up, gun still in hand – she pointed it down towards the creaky wooden floor boards, she pulled the trigger with no hesitation. The bullet penetrated the old wood in one swift movement, and Lila let out an apathetic laugh, "I find it difficult to believe I wasn't meant to kill you, but clearly today is your lucky day…" Lila paused handing the gun back to Daryl, he took it from her slowly, watching her as Lila walked weakly out of the barn and into the bright sunlight.
"You wanna take this one or you leavin' it to me again?" Shane asked, looking towards Daryl.
"Again? When have you ever dealt with her shit?" Daryl questioned, walking towards Shane.
"Ladies," Rick groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose and he stepped between the pair.
"Just sayin' you best enjoy it while it lasts, that girl won't be stupid enough to love you much longer." Shane scoffed, Daryl moved in to hit him but Rick held him back.
"We got far more important shit to be dealing with than a fight over a girl," Rick shouted.
Daryl looked Shane up and down, shaking his head, "You don't stand a chance," He muttered before walking out of the barn in an attempt to find Lila.
He caught site of her long blonde hair soon enough, she was sat on the fence that surrounded the farmhouse, looking out over the trees.
As soon as he reached her he knew she was crying, her breathing was heavy and ragged and as he leaned over the fence, he could see her cheeks were stained with tears.
"You okay?" Daryl asked, the awkwardness in his voice was obvious. Lila turned to glance at him before shaking her head and wiping her tears away.
"Nothing really changed for you did it? You just kept on surviving," Lila began as she hopped down from the fence so that she was stood beside Daryl.
"Some of us had lives…I had a life," Lila's eyes reached up to meet Daryl's but he continued to look away from her.
"You were jealous, weren't you?" He asked suddenly, causing Lila to frown.
"What?" She questioned.
"When you seen me and Carol together yesterday, you were jealous. It's why you've been such a bitch."
"Don't flatter yourself," Lila scoffed, folding her blonde hair behind her ears nervously.
"Real convincin' LB," Daryl laughed, "What is it with you anyhow? I get your shit is fucked up, why let it ruin you, what's the point?" Daryl asked, but Lila was too busy being shocked. Daryl was actually being logical for once, as much as it pained her to admit.
"I was jealous," Daryl added casually, looking over to the woods. Lila glanced up at him, confused.
"What? When?"
"When I saw you prancin' off like some lamb to the slaughter with Shane last night."
Lila laughed at his confession, "He was the one that told me about today, he was the only person to give me a heads up and treat me like one of you."
"He led a vulnerable girl that thinks she knows it all into a dark field and told her all about how he was gunna save the day and kill the guy that raped her? Don't that sound like a line to you?"
"He treated me like more than just a little girl, which is more than what I get from you," Lila replied, before she could add anything else, the sensation of Daryl's hand gripping firmly onto her hip knocked the air from her lungs.
"I don't treat you like a little girl," Daryl said quietly as he moved her against the fence, standing solidly in front of her, his hands holding her still.
"Prove it," Lila whispered, pushing herself against him, "Or are you too afraid to admit there's something between us?"
Daryl shook his head, his hand moving around to Lila's back.
"I ain't afraid LB, just cautious," He began.
"And why's that, Dixon?" Lila smirked.
"Cos Lila, it don't do no good, I don't need to be watchin' your back as well as mine." His statement hurt her for just a second, until she found herself smiling. Her eyes rose to meet with Daryl's and he looked confused.
"But isn't that what you've already been doing? Just admit it…you feel it," Lila added, her hand pressed firmly against Daryl's stomach, "Just admit you feel it right there, right in the pit of your stomach…you know you don't want me to just disappear. What's so wrong with being scared of losing someone?"
Daryl paused for a moment, looking down at Lila as he thought carefully about what he was about to say, his grip loosened on her slightly and he tried to ignore her hand against his chest.
"It's wrong because it's a distraction," He stated, removing his hands from her hips, "A distraction I don't want." Daryl finalised.
When Daryl began walking away, she knew she had to do something to stop him. If he left now, he'd never be the same with her again. She watched as he walked back towards the farmhouse, with tear soaked cheeks and butterflies in her stomach she ran up behind him.
Her hand latched around his forearm and pulled him back, he turned to face her with a frown.
"Tell me you don't want me," Lila stated bluntly, for a second Daryl just stared at her like she was crazy, "Go on, tell me you don't want me," She repeated.
"This ain't about wantin' you Lila," Daryl replied sternly, his face just inches from hers, "This is about keepin' myself alive."
Lila laughed, "What's the point in being alive if you haven't got someone to be alive for. Day to day what have you got to live for?"
Daryl hesitated, staring off into the distance as he thought for a moment.
"I think about you every minute, every day," He answered, surprising Lila.
"That don't mean I'm goin' to babysit you all the time, making sure you ain't about to become walker bait," He clarified.
"I don't need babysitting, Dixon," She grinned, her lips pressing down against Daryl's, her arms wrapped around his shoulders as his hands clasped onto her hips, forcing her against him.