Chapter 14 – The Unforgiven
Surgery day approached quickly, and though he wasn't particularly eager to have someone poking around in his brain on top of losing his primary quill again, Shadow looked forward to getting it over with. Despite the short notice, preparations seemed to come along smoothly; among them, special cerebral scans were made, and ample replacement blood was collected from Mercury. Everything unfolded with idealistic neatness for a change. It wasn't until he lay on the operating table, surrounded by medical staff while inhaling anesthetic, that the chilling hand of fear began to grip him again. What became of him, and ultimately, his son, would be determined in the next hour.
Amy took the day off work to accompany Mercury in the waiting area. She'd kept the event a secret from Sonic for multiple reasons, the main two being to hide the facts that Shadow had attacked her and that she was already breaking the new visitation terms by coming to him instead of the other way around. A fashion magazine was draped over her lap, but her anxious eyes were everywhere else, watching Mercury play with his parasect on the floor, checking the clock, glancing at other people in the room, and staring at the sparrows gathering just outside the window. Over ninety minutes after the procedure began, news came to her of its outcome. The surgery had gone well, she was informed, and the deactivation had been a success. He'd lost more blood than expected, but the supply they'd acquired from Mercury was making up for it just fine. It was better for him, in fact, to be rid of more of the agitated cells still left in his system.
Two days later, Shadow was allowed to return home. Amy had kept Mercury with her in the meantime, merely telling Sonic that Shadow hadn't been feeling well. She offered to keep the child longer, but Shadow insisted the apartment was too quiet without him.
"You sure?" she voiced her lingering concern, at which he carefully nodded.
"It'll be fine. He's not that hyper."
"All right, well, if anything comes up or you need anything, just give me a call, okay?" Knowing better than to wait for his response to such a request, she proceeded to hug Mercury goodbye and head for the door. He called to her as she turned the knob.
"Amy…." Slowly his head turned and his eyes met hers across the way. "…Thank you."
She stood in heartfelt silence for a moment, then gave a warm smile and nod. "That's what friends are for!" She then headed out the door.
Throughout the following week, Amy sneaked over to Shadow's place after work each day to check on him. On Saturday she was off, however, so things needed to be handled a bit differently. Just after sunset, she sat next to Sonic on the sofa with their daughter in her arms, who'd just received her bath. "Cuttin' it a little close, aren't you?" she asked him regarding the time he was supposed to be to work. With barely seven minutes to spare, making it to Happy Dragon on time would be a challenge, even for him. He continued to gaze blankly at the TV as he responded.
"…Guess I should get going." After a moment his eyes shifted over to Misty, but he was quick to blink and snap them away. The behavior wasn't like him; Amy couldn't help but notice that he'd been acting strange all day. That afternoon he'd gone out running for hours, which he had a tendency to do when something was really bothering him. He didn't seem angry, though, nor had he mentioned anything out of the ordinary to her…which in itself was also unusual.
"You okay?" she prodded as he got to his feet. He casually eyed her over his shoulder.
"Yeah, why?" Now his voice harbored an unnaturally upbeat edge.
"You're…actin' kinda weird today…."
He crossed his arms and shrugged away the notion. "I was just…just feelin' kinda antsy today, you know, restless." There was the slightest hint of bitterness in the last word. Amy glanced aside in thought.
"…Does this have to do with last night…?" At first all he returned was an airy laugh.
"No," he trailed, "you can't help it if you don't feel like it, right? Not your fault. Anyway I need to get going. See ya later!" He headed for the door in an understandable rush, but it still left her unsettled.
"Bye," she bid him quickly, not wanting to hold him up any longer. A second later, the door was shut and she was left sitting in silence. Dozing Misty leaned peacefully into her as she continued to ponder her husband's peculiar countenance. But, now that he was out of the apartment, there were other things due her attention. She carefully cradled her daughter in her arms and walked her to her crib in the bedroom, where she was lovingly tucked in. "I'll be right back," the young mother whispered just before planting a kiss. She then made her way into the kitchen and retrieved a foil-wrapped platter that had been hidden in the oven, filled with an extra helping of the chicken quesadillas she'd made for supper. Pulling the door open with her free hand, she quietly headed out into the night.
There was a renewed spark to Shadow's eyes as his door was opened. Different from those which accompanied his disturbing leer and hell-spawned fury, this one carried a more encompassing aura that seemed to reflect his very essence of life.
"Hey!" Amy greeted with an extra bit of pert, lifting the platter in her hands. "Hope you guys haven't eaten yet!"
"Your timing is perfect," Shadow remarked through a smirk as he stepped aside and allowed her in. "We were just talking about it." Setting the dish down on the solid cherry wood dining table, she grinned and shook her head.
"I'm still jealous of this place! I hope me and Sonic can get a bigger place soon. Iris is going to need a bigger bed before too much longer. And speaking of Iris…" her voice turned sheepish, "I can't stay too long 'cause she's home alone right now."
"You could've brought her," Shadow pointed out.
"She was sleepy…."
With the aroma of chicken and cheese in the air, it wasn't long before Mercury dashed from his bedroom squealing.
"Spooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrre!!" the battle cry rang through the room as he lunged to Amy's feet and shook his parasect at them as if dispensing pepper. She blinked down at him, startled amusement wrinkling her lips.
Shadow snorted. "I let him watch TV down in the lounge, and apparently those things are part of a show," he lamented, pointing a thumb at the plush. Amy giggled and leaned in to address the boy.
"Hey, Mercury! You hungry?" Having captured his full attention with the question, she removed the foil from the platter. "I brought quesadillas!" Mercury quickly forgot about paralyzing his prey and hopped into a seat at the table, nestling the plush in his lap. Shadow brought some plates and silverware from the kitchen and took a seat across from his son.
"Sit," he urged Amy, "unless you need to hurry back."
"Umm," she considered, "I can stay a few minutes." She sat next to Mercury as his father cut across the tortilla disc.
"Which piece do you want, Spider?" he prompted. Mercury leaned forward and inspected the wedges, then stuck his finger into one. Shadow began to work it free with a fork.
"No," Mercury voiced second thoughts, pointing to another piece, "that one." The switch drew a scowl.
"You stuck your finger in this one so this is what you get," Shadow chided, serving the dimpled wedge. Amy observed them quietly, her hands folded on the table. "I'm assuming you've already eaten," he addressed her, to which she nodded. After serving himself a slice, he blinked at it, hesitating, then looked to her. "Did you…want to say grace?"
"Oh! S-sure!" she stammered, thoroughly surprised. Mercury mimicked them as they bowed their heads and she began, "For the food we are about to receive, to the High One we extend our thanks." She looked Shadow over as he and their son began to eat. "You know, you look really good," she commented suddenly, "a lot more healthy."
He swallowed his mouthful. "This is the best I've felt since…since the execution." He clenched his fist before him and eyed it with an air of triumph. "It's good to have energy again. I'd forgotten how good it feels just to feel normal."
"Well good, I'm glad to hear it! I think that second batch of blood probably helped. You been having any more headaches? Dizzy spells?"
"No more headaches. I still get a little light headed sometimes, but nothing like before."
"And how's your breathing?"
"About the same. I don't know if it'll ever go back to how it used to be…" he acknowledged, adding a shrug, "but I'll live."
Amy nodded thoughtfully. "Well, I'm glad you're doing better! Just give it some more time, and be careful not to do anything too strenuous until you're fully healed." He cast an unusual glance her way that she couldn't quite read. She quickly dismissed it from her mind, however, in favor of more pressing issues. "Anyways…I really should be heading back. Enjoy the quesadillas, 'kay?"
"Thank you," Shadow expressed. "Best meal we've had all week."
"Thank you!" Mercury echoed through a full mouth.
"You're both very welcome!" she replied as she stood up, laying a gentle hand on her son's head. "I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it tomorrow, but I'll definitely stop by on Monday, okay?" Shadow nodded, taking his last bite before getting up to show her out.
She smiled to herself as she made her way down the nearly two dozen flights of stairs. It was hard to believe that, just over a week ago, he wanted to end his life. Seeing him so much better off in such a short time filled her with a deep sense of both relief and accomplishment, like she'd really made a difference—and perhaps even made the world a better place. Though a bit winded by the time she reached the bottom, she carried a little tune with her, stepping lightly along the well-lit perimeter until she rounded the corner and came to a heart-stopping halt. Her emerald eyes instantly ballooned as they found themselves locked with none other than those of Sonic. He leaned with one hand against the building, his feet casually crossed.
"Hey," he greeted as if addressing a good buddy. "Funny we should run into each other out here, isn't it?" Finding her too shocked to speak, he filled in the blanks himself. "What? What am I doing here? Well I'm glad you asked, 'cause it's a funny story, really!" He pulled his hand from the wall and folded his arms as he went on, "Yesterday I got a visit from Tails, who told me that he heard from Knuckles, who said he heard from Rouge, that you've been comin' out here. But, you know, rumors have a way of getting the facts all mixed up, and after everything that's happened I didn't wanna go and accuse you of anything, so I just figured I'd come out here and see for myself…and now I have." His voice became almost as dull as his eyes. "So I guess that's that." He then proceeded to turn and walk away, intensifying Amy's shock. She'd expected him to explode like a big, blue, quill-bearing grenade.
"Wait!" She ran after him and latched onto his arm, bringing him to a standstill. "It's not like that! I was just checking on him, that's all!" Anticipating an inquiry as to why she'd done so in the middle of the night, she prepared herself to give him a truthful answer, but he didn't ask. He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at her. Hearing voices behind her, she turned and realized that several humans were also on the premises, some of whom were staring. "…Let's talk about it after you get off, okay?" She released him once he'd granted a silent nod and watched him briefly as he headed back downtown, then hurried home herself.
Perfume greeted her as she entered the apartment, still emanating from the sofa she'd soaked with it. She hurried into the bedroom to check the crib, finding Misty sound asleep. Wandering back into the living room, a sigh escaped her, the product of both relief and dread. In just a few short hours, she'd have a lot of explaining to do. She paced the room, considering what she should and shouldn't say. It was time, she decided, to set things straight once and for all. Her heart brimming with resolutions, she plunged into the scented sofa, arms crossed, and waited.
And waited.
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"…And so finally I called the Happy Dragon when it opened this morning and talked to the owner, and he said that Sonic told him he was leaving town and that he wasn't coming back!" Amy's already quivering voice further deteriorated with each word. Shadow sat across from her on his black velvet sofa, eyeing the floor but listening carefully. "I was so…cold and mean to him," she choked on through her sobs, "and I…gave away the presents he gave me…and I did everything…he asked me not to……it's no wonder he left!" She broke down completely at that point, burying her flushed face into her lap. Shadow's brow sank as his gaze shifted to her. Her head begged to be stroked, her body, comforted in his embrace…but he couldn't bring himself to touch her. He felt too rotten, too responsible. She'd put everything dear to her on the line to offer him the helping hand he didn't even deserve…and now she was paying the price.
On the other hand…this also meant that she was no longer attached. He lacked a mother for Mercury, and now she lacked a father for Misty. The match would be perfect. She had already come to him in her hour of need; all he needed to do was build on it. The first step was to offer her his home, a refuge from her own apartment that did nothing more than remind her of Sonic. From there he could work to convince her what a no good dirtbag Sonic was for what he'd done to her. Once she'd been adequately conditioned and the time was right, he'd then offer himself. It was only natural.
Shadow leaned in and placed a hand on Amy's back, but when he opened his mouth no words would come out. He sat as if suspended in time, his once sharp focus dissolving into a deep haze. In wandering his mind's void he found himself on a threshold far from that on which he'd started. He beheld it, considering, then blinked as his vision resumed its conscious function and he realized Amy was looking up at him.
"…I…" he floundered for something practical to say, "…I'm going to…go check on the…kids…." Hastening to his feet, he rubbed the stitches on the back of his head as he made his way to Mercury's room. The door was nudged open and he peered inside, where Mercury was making little figures out of green Play-Doh and setting them in front of Misty to squash with her fist. He voiced dramatic sound effects as she flattened each one, sending her into continuous fits of giggles. Shadow observed the joyful scene with a troubled heart; it wouldn't be long before Misty met the same anguish from which his son was just beginning to recover.
Amy's puffy eyes followed him as he pulled the door shut and slowly stepped back into the living room, absorbed in his thoughts. "They doing all right?" she asked, her voice hoarse.
"They're fine," he confirmed. "They get along well."
She glanced about as a notion drummed through her mind. "…He wouldn't just leave Iris like that. He'll have to come back to see her sometime!" Her now hopeful gaze returned to him, but he didn't share her denial-fueled optimism.
"Are you thirsty?" he changed the subject as he headed into the kitchen.
"…A little…."
He tugged open the fridge and retrieved a small bottle of water. "I'm assuming you don't have an appetite," was added as he handed it to her. She shook her head, looking almost nauseated at the very idea.
After filling Shadow's listening ear with all the details, fears, hopes, and heartache she could muster, Amy finally succumbed to sheer exhaustion and spent the rest of the evening asleep on his sofa. Shadow draped a blanket over her, and as night fell he let Misty make use of Mercury's bed, since Mercury always slept with him anyway. Finally, he got some much needed rest of his own.
The sun had not yet risen over Station Square when Shadow crouched beside Amy and woke her with a silent nudge. She flinched sharply upon realizing where she still was and who was before her, reliving for an instant the trauma of her recent attack. "Sorry," Shadow muttered, backing off a bit, then softly stated, "I have a favor to ask of you." She blinked in semi-awareness as he continued, "If you could keep Mercury today, I have some business to take care of."
"When will you be back?" she inquired, propping herself up by her elbow. He thought for a moment.
"By sundown if not sooner. If you want to stay here that's fine." With her sullen nod, he stood and proceeded to head out. Only the glow of his skates illuminated his way across the grassy outskirts of the complex, and navigating the maze of alleys downtown was hardly better. Dawn was casting its blessed aura by the time he reached his destination. He now stood at the edge of the concrete park in which Mercury had been given his first skating lesson. Once he'd caught his breath, he strode to a familiar bench along the northern wall, where Rouge the bat sat waiting. Her bored eyes drifted to him as he neared, and her laced fingers slid down her crossed legs until they came to rest atop her knee.
"You rang?"
Shadow cut right to the chase. "I would like to know for what reason you've seen fit to meddle in matters that don't concern you."
Her brow arched in mock surprise as she laughed her reply. "Excuse me?"
"I find it hard to believe that a government spy would so carelessly divulge details affecting someone to one of his closest contacts."
She only smirked all the more. "You're going to have to be a little more specific." A tightened fist lifted.
"I'm about to get a lot more specific," he growled through his teeth. She blinked and shifted away, resting one hand beside her.
"Maybe it did concern me. Did you ever think of that?" The notion wasn't immediately countered, so she went on. "No offense, but have you seen yourself in the mirror lately? You've been a wreck ever since you got involved with that girl. I was only looking out for your best interest."
"Oh, I see," his arms folded as he answered patronizingly. "What a friend, keeping me out of trouble. Perhaps I should return the favor. I never did feel quite right about that incident in Soleanna, and I'm sure GUN would appreciate an explanation." His piercing glare found her already fair cheeks turning pasty pale. "Unless…I've got this all wrong…." She shifted again, uncrossing her legs and pressing her knees tight as a pout formed on her lips.
"…I was just…a little jealous, okay?" She blinked several times, her eyes far from him. His arms fell.
"Of what??"
"I don't know……just felt like I was getting closed out of the loop, I guess. Everyone else had their 'normal' life while we were always the misfits who had our own special way of relating to each other…and now it's like you're all caught up in their world, on their terms, and there's nothing special left between us. I'm just…back to being that bat girl you know…."
Shadow stared for a few seconds longer before breaking into brief laughter as he twisted about. Rouge blinked at his stitches' sharp contrast against the shaved skin, then cast her eyes down. The silence lingered until he spoke, his gaze skimming the length of the skating surface before them.
"I don't think you have to worry about me fitting in anytime soon." He then turned back to her as she glanced up. "If that's all this is about, I'd like to move on to the matter of rectification." Her head dropped again.
"…What is it you want?"
"Just some information."
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The setting sun granted a pinkish hue that well suited the rosy peace throughout the Mobian village of Knothole. Furry children played just outside of a meager eatery in which Sonic sat talking over a quick meal with a pot-bellied purple walrus.
"I don't mean to be…all up in your business," the walrus mumbled through the potato wedges he continued to stuff into his mouth, "but you don't…" then paused to chew, "seem yourself." He went on after finally swallowing, "I mean, I can tell you're happy to be back and all, but you seem really…unhappy too…."
Sonic continued to gaze at his half-eaten chili dog. "Well, you know how it goes…when you leave someplace you leave the good stuff right along with the bad, so it's kinda rough…but there comes a time when you just need to make a fresh start, you know?"
"Ohh, I see. Anything I can do to help?"
"Nah, just bear with me for a while." He cracked a smile while making fleeting eye contact, then returned to his meal. "…So, uh, whatever happened with that lighting project you were doing for the palace?"
"Oh, that?" the walrus bellowed into laughter and delved into a story about the many mishaps he'd suffered on the job. Sonic barely heard any of it; his mind was with the life he'd left behind, reminiscing the sweet pink sparkle of his daughter's eyes that he'd never see again. He'd decided that it would be never because he couldn't even stand to look into them long enough to say goodbye. It wasn't what he wanted; it was just what was best. There was no point in fighting to maintain a relationship when he could see what Amy didn't have the heart to tell him—that it was already over. So, he'd made it easy for her by giving her up so she could be happy instead of trying to carry on their farce of a marriage for his sake. Now she could have what she really wanted, and he could go back to a carefree life.
Sonic glanced out the propped-open door of the restaurant, then did a double take as a familiar combination of colors caught his eye. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment to clear the tears from them and looked again. Sure enough, Shadow was standing across the way from the place, speaking with the children. Soon one of them pointed his way. Sonic heaved a sigh of disgust as the other hedgehog approached the establishment.
"You gotta be kidding me!!"
The walrus froze mid-sentence. "No, there really were that many!" Following Sonic's eyes, he blinked at the newcomer. "Who's that?" There wasn't time to answer before Shadow stepped through the door. He tilted his head as he addressed his target.
"For being famous you're a pain in the ass to track down."
A deep scowl etching his face, Sonic jarred himself up from the table. There would be no cool emotional front this time. He turned to face his dining companion.
"Rotor, would you mind excusing us for a sec?" Wide-eyed, the walrus quickly got up and made his way to the door, nervously eyeing Shadow as he brushed past him outside. Sensing the tension, the robin tending the counter disappeared into the kitchen. Sonic then began quite bitterly, "Why can't you just leave me alone?!" His arm stroked wide before him. "You won! I opened my home to you, and you robbed it! Congratulations! Now how about leaving me in the festering remnants of my life in peace?"
"Oh please!" Shadow sneered back. "When your closest friends are all dead because of you and your blood's poisoned and your lungs are ruined and your quills fall out and you have to have your head sliced open just to make the pain stop, then you can talk to me about your 'festering' life! Excuse me for making it come short of a silver platter for once, but you're not going to blame me for what you choose to throw away." The finger he'd crookedly pointed fell back to his side. "I know she hasn't gone about things in the brightest manner, but Amy's never been untrue to you…and I think you're making a big mistake. It's clear how much she cares for you and how deeply she's hurt."
Sonic squinted at the words. "Then why couldn't she come tell me that?"
"She doesn't know I'm here." Widened eyes were fixed on Shadow as he continued, "I'm not going to ask you to go back; that's your own prerogative. I just thought you should know."
Both hedgehogs turned as a female voice with a strong southern drawl cut in, "Excuse me—this guy botherin' you, Sonic?" In the doorway stood a gingery rabbit, half of whose body was pure machine. She pounded a metallic fist into her open hand while Rotor cowered just behind her, daring only a quick peek. Shadow raised an eyebrow at them as Sonic responded.
"No, it's okay, Bunnie. He's…he's a friend." The last word received especially warm emphasis, enough to make Shadow glance back at him. Sonic transferred his silent gratitude in the brief moment their eyes locked.
Shadow then headed for the door. "I was just leaving anyway." His side swept eyes traveled up and down Bunnie's unusual body as he walked out past her and Rotor. She returned a perturbed, almost offended expression.
"Whew, finally!" Rotor exclaimed afterward, waddling inside. He hurried over to the table where the food still sat and proceeded to finish enjoying his meal.
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Amy stared with bulging eyes at her apartment door, from which she thought she heard the distinct sound of someone sticking a key in. Her gape grew twice in size as it opened moments later and Sonic stepped inside. Faintly smiling, he blinked at her a couple of times, then lifted a variety of Mobian wildflowers in his hand.
"I picked ya some flowers," he greeted sheepishly. She walked up to him still wearing her stunned expression and gazed somewhat blankly at the gift as he placed it in her hand and gently wrapped her fingers around the stems. Finally her lip began to quiver and her eyes snapped up to his, warning of her fury. She shrieked at him through her teeth as the flowers were slapped down over his head.
"Don't you ever do that to me again!!!" Sonic cringed and closed his eyes as she continued to assault him with the bouquet until nothing remained of it but a handful of mutilated stems. Finally she stopped and stood simply huffing, and he slowly cracked open one eye. Her rage melting under her tears, she dropped the stems and threw her arms around her husband. He was relieved to return the gesture. His own tears trailed the back of her neck as they held each other tight.
"I won't…." he pledged, then pushed her back by the shoulders to look at her eye to eye. "Let's start with a clean slate, okay? No more assumptions, and no more secrets." A bittersweet smile crossed Amy's lips as she nodded agreement. He wrapped an arm back around her, pressing his forehead into hers, then lifted her chin into their first kiss since the day their ordeal began.
"Where's Daddy?" Mercury's nearby voice caused Sonic to jump. The boy's hands gripped the armrest of the sofa from which he watched the couple.
"…Geez, didn't know you were there!" Sonic stammered as he held a hand to his chest.
"Shadow asked me to watch him while he took care of something," Amy mentioned, "but he was supposed to have been back by now…."
Sonic furrowed his brow. "He hasn't…been back?" It seemed rather unusual, considering he'd left Knothole almost an hour after their exchange. He stood pondering and stringing together a number of separate factors. "…Crap," he suddenly said, pulling open the door. "I'll be right back."
"Wait, where are you going??" Amy hurried after and grabbed the edge of the door.
"I need to check something," was the only explanation as Sonic sped off into the night.
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Sitting in the corner with his knees bent and arms crossed, Shadow lifted his head as the door to his holding cell was unlocked. A Mobian leopard donning security attire leaned in and gestured for him to come.
"Looks like you're free to go," the official informed him as he approached, much to his surprise.
"I am…?" As they made their way to the front of the Mobius Monorail Station Security Center, he found Sonic leaning against the counter. His jaw dropped a bit.
"This is for you," Sonic stated, handing over a document with an embossed golden seal that had been signed by a Princess Sally Acorn. Shadow's eyes skimmed the page.
"What is this?"
"It's your get out of jail free card," the blue hedgehog replied with a teasing air. "Be sure not to lose it!"
"…Royal pardon…." Shadow whispered the printed words just above his breath.
Sonic shrugged. "Couldn't let you upstage me with that whole Amy thing," he joked. Shadow remained frozen in place, reading the formal details, until Sonic called from the security center door. "Hey, you gonna stand there all day? C'mon, your kid's waitin'!"