Chapter 14
On the drive home Peter plays a CD that he bought with old songs. The songs have a static-y crackle to them and they sound like they were originally played on a record player. Peter hums along to the lyrics, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Sometimes I forget how old you are." I murmur.
"I'm not that old." He shrugs. I lean back and put my feet up on the dashboard.
"Then tell me." I say, looking over at him.
"Why does it matter?" He asks, with a smirk.
"I'd like to know if one day you're going to look the same age as our child, I guess." I say. He looks over at me and then to my stomach briefly before moving his eyes back on the road.
"No, I won't. Since Zilocke took away my powers I've felt myself aging." He says, looking at himself in the rear-view mirror.
"Do you think you'll outlive me?" I ask, curious. He shakes his head with another smirk.
"I hope not." We sit in silence for another moment.
"I don't want to imagine my life without you alive in it... maybe we'll get lucky and you still have enough magic left in you to live as long as I will." I say. He shakes his head.
"I'm not from this realm so I know that while I'm here there's an expiry date somewhere along the line. But maybe you're right, maybe the magic will benefit me living as long as you. See, but if you choose not to marry me you'll never find out will you?" He says slyly. I laugh and stretch my arms out to wake myself up.
"What was your life like before I came to Neverland anyway? You weren't originally from there were you?"
"No, I'm from another realm. As for my life before Neverland it was mostly uneventful. The lead-up to the shadow recruiting me is one of my darker memories and I don't feel it needs to matter." He shrugs.
"Why not? You know all my dark secrets." I say.
"Mine are worse... and the person I was back then is someone I barely recognise. I got a flashback to that life when we were in Neverland a week ago when I attacked you. I'm not that person any more and that's why none of it matters, all that matters is who I am now." As he says this he moves his hand to hold mine as he drives. He squeezes my fingers and I smile down at our hands.
"I was thinking maybe that necklace can help with your morning sickness. It's supposed to heal you, isn't it?" He asks. At the mention of the Queen's Jewel I widen my eyes. How could I have been so dumb to have left it at the house? The evil voice in me is cursing. I have to clench my knuckles to stop focusing on it. It's okay... no one will take it, it's okay... the powers won't work on anyone else anyway...
"Lena?" Peter's voice rings like an echo in a cave. I snap back to attention and realise that I'm squeezing his hand.
"Is everything okay?" He asks. I quickly release his hand and flatten both my palms on my stomach.
"I think I'll just feel better when we're home." I say.
–
Peter seems confused but he doesn't bring it up again for the rest of the ride. I turn his old music back up for him to hum along to it and I drift in an out of sleep. We pull into the driveway of the barely discernible row of identical suburban houses. I open the door and step out of the car in a hurry, moving off to the front door.
"Bags." Peter calls, getting out of the car. I quickly turn back around and grasp the two groups of shopping bags Peter is holding out; before turning round again and going to the front door. I can't turn the door knob but thankfully Felix has seen us come up the drive and has opened the door. His eyes meet mine and I can tell he wants to talk to me. Right now, though, I have another agenda. I place the bags on the couch and move through to the dining room where I hear voices talking. Sure enough, Zilocke, Sage and Laura are crowded around the dining room table, looking at the bright pink jewel. The necklace is calling to me, further heightening my paranoia about it. Sage and Laura look up and notice me giving them a stare that could kill.
"You're back early." Zilocke says, turning around and noticing me staring at them. I walk forward without a word and snatch the jewel into my hand. The chain thumps against my fingers as it swings around and I shove it into my pocket. I've left the three speechless and wide-eyed.
"I don't feel well." I say eventually, turning around and walking off to the guest room. I hear footsteps following me and Zilocke's voice rings out calmly.
"Maddalena..." He says. I close the guest room door behind me firmly and bring the jewel out of my pocket, pressing it to my chest. I lean against the door and allow the sound of the jewel's calling to drown out the sound of Zilocke's knocking. With my free hand I guide the chain up over my head so the necklace is on me properly. I move the jewel to hide behind my shirt. Suddenly another feeling comes up and I have to open the door again in an effort to rush to the bathroom. Zilocke looks surprised again as I try to rush past him but this time he reaches out and grabs my arm, pulling me to face him.
"Just slow down for a moment." He says. I'm unable to hold back any longer and the front of Zilocke's cloak is hit with my vomit. He freezes and glances down at the mess. I step back and my breathing slows, I wipe my mouth and tilt my head back against the wall. My eyes tear to the sting of my throat.
"I'm sorry." I squeak.
"Maybe you should go lie down." He says, waving a hand over the vomit. A whoosh comes from his hands and his cloak is cleaned in an instant. I nod slowly, Peter and Felix stand at the end of the hall watching with concern. I glance over to them and Felix steps forward, moving to extend a hand to help. Peter places a hand on Felix's shoulder, however, and stops him.
"It's alright Felix, I'm sure you've already dealt with your fair share of pregnancy-induced sickness. I can handle this one alone." He says, walking ahead of him. Felix looks dissapointed and when his eyes meet mine he gulps, before turning around and walking to a suspicious-looking Laura. Peter walks to my side and Zilocke continues to study my face. I move into Peter's guiding hands but Zilocke stops us.
"Before you go..." He says, holding his hand out. "Lena, might I take a look at the jewel?" He asks. I open my mouth to instinctively protest but now that my head is clear and the jewel isn't shrieking I'm able to use better judgement. After all... it's just a jewel.
"I know it's yours, I promise I'll give it back." Zilocke says, calmly and carefully, as if he's cautious. I nod and move my hand to the chain to slide it off.
"Actually I think it's better if she holds onto it. I think right now she could use it's healing powers." Peter says, placing his hand over mine.
"I don't think that's the best idea." Laura calls from the end of the hall. I flick my eyes up and they settle on Felix's hand on her shoulder.
"It's fine." I say, my eyes meeting Felix's. "Peter's my fiancé. I trust him to make these decisions." I say calmly. Everyone but me seem surprised when I say it. My eyes move off of Felix's and I walk back into the room. Peter follows close behind and he shuts the door behind him. He closes the curtains so it's dark.
"Lay down and rest, fiancé. Even if it's not the pregnancy that's making you sick then your body still has to be unsettled. After all it did have to save our little one." Peter says, guiding me to lie down on the bed. I rest my head on the pillow and it feels nice to lie down. Peter crawls in beside me but as it's not yet night I suspect he'll be getting up as soon as I'm asleep. I close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of Peter running his hands through my hair.
–
I know I'm in a dream as soon as I open my eyes. There is a fog hanging around the room and dark shadows are hanging onto the wall, cursing at me. I slide out of bed and look around for Peter, who wasn't there beside me. I move to the bedroom door and swing it open, instead of opening to the hall it is the master bedroom. There is a couple rolling around passionately grasping at and kissing each other. At first I recognise it to be Peter and I, and the thought is nice- however odd the sight may be. When my eyes settle on the woman's arms, though, I notice runes dot along them. They roll over once again and her bare back reveals rune tattoos. This woman is not me- this woman is Sage.
"Get off of him!" I call, reaching out for her. As soon as my hands land on her shoulders the scene changes. I hear running water. I look down to see that I'm standing naked in waist deep water. The area around me is filled with mossy rocks, and sunshine through the trees. This is without a doubt the waterfall at Neverland. But if this is a memory then that means I'm not alone. Sure enough, gentle fingers run alone the V-shaped scars on my back. I feel a man's chest press against my back and his lips kiss along my neck.
"My poor little Lena. Always going through pain." He says. I know the voice and I know that this is not the man I'm supposed to be dreaming about. But really, it's just a dream... what harm can it do? I turn around and run my fingers through Felix's wet blonde hair. He smiles down at me and he pulls me into his arms so our torsos are pressed together. I move my lips up to his but he pulls away, letting me go. He walks backwards to where the waterfall meets the lake.
"Come here." He says, extending a hand for me. I smile to him and narrow my eyes flirtatiously. My head rings out, wrong, wrong... so wrong. I walk through the water towards him and the steam hits my face. Why is the waterfall water so hot? A loud voice wakes me up in the most unexpected place.
–
"Lena? Lena!" Felix calls. I snap my eyes open and realise that I'm no longer in bed. I'm actually in the master bathroom, my hand is gripped onto the shower door and a shocked looking Felix is standing under the running water. I look down at my pyjamas and then over to Felix's lack of clothes.
"What are you doing?" He asks, still shocked.
"Oh my god!" I shout, slamming the shower door shut in panic. The force is too much and the old shower frame breaks, causing the glass to shatter into many little pieces.
"Jesus Christ!" Felix shouts, covering his face and turning his body away from the glass. My breathing is heavy and I back up to the wall, looking for the door. The steam has fogged up the room, however, and all I can make out is a pile of towels. I reach for one and chuck it towards Felix, who has turned off the water and has carefully stepped over the broken glass on the floor.
"I'm sorry... I'm sorry!" I say, grabbing another towel and throwing it at Felix.
"Lena!" He calls, having already tied the first towel around his waist the second just hits him in the face. The fog begins to settle and I move my eyes to the broken glass on the floor.
"I'll pay for that to be fixed. I swear-" I begin.
"Lena." Felix says again, to shut me up. His hair and body is dripping wet and his toned chest rises and falls to his breathing. I fix my eyes on his and my heart continues to pound in my chest, matching his. In the next moment we both reach out for each other. All thinking goes out the window and my fingers curl around his towel, pulling his torso to meet mine. His hands move to my arms and he presses me against the wall. Our lips meet and I strain my neck because of his height. His hands move down under my thighs and he picks me up, keeping my back pressed to the wall. I curl my legs around his waist and his towel falls to the floor, his wet body is dampening my clothes. Our lips kiss, pull and bite each other's desperately. We break apart to breathe and when we do my ears suddenly fix on the furious knocking on the door.
"Felix, what the hell was that noise? Unlock the door." Laura calls from the other side. I lower my voice to a whisper, though my breathing is still heavy.
"I'm a bad person." I say, my hands still resting on his shoulders.
"No you're not." He shakes his head, still clutching onto my body.
"Peter." I whisper. Felix rests his head on my shoulder as he steadies his breathing.
"Please don't say his name right now." He says.
"Laura." I say, rubbing my eyes in frustration. Felix snaps his head up.
"I never married her..." He says and pauses. "But you agreed to marry Peter." He adds with dissapointment. He doesn't say it as if it's a surprise, just as if it's a fact that he's forgotten. He lets my body go and my feet move back to the floor. He pulls up his towel and brings it back around his waist, before moving to the door. He opens it a crack but doesn't look at Laura on the other side.
"I accidentally broke the glass door, it's fine- stop shouting." He says, closing the door. Laura sounds angry from the other side.
"It sounded like you were talking to someone... just remember that it's my family paying for the expenses on this place." She says. I hear her walk away and I look down to my newly wet clothes. I look back up and Felix eyes are on my body.
"If you don't love her then why are you still with her?" I ask, folding my arms.
"If I leave her I fear she'll take Finn away from me. It would be easy for her to do with her family backing her up." He says.
"She wouldn't do that, she loves you too much." I say, shaking my head and reaching for a towel.
"Love can make you do stupid things." He says, looking at the ground. I nod, leaning back against the counter.
"What are we going to do?" I ask him. Felix looks at the bottom of his feet, where small shards of glass poke out and cause a small trail of blood. He sits on the edge of the bathtub and pulls out the glass without looking at me.
"We won't tell Peter." He says.
"We won't?" I ask. He shakes his head,
"You and Peter will move out and live with Zilocke and Sage, or at least get a place nearby- but not too close. And you and I will only speak directly to each other when we absolutely need to. We can raise our kids together because I don't want to lost Peter as a brother. And I'll just pray and hope that maybe one day, somehow, I'll fall out of love with you." He finishes, still not looking up at me. My eyes sting and I want to tear up.
"I don't want to lose you." I say. He looks back up at me.
"You won't. But if we don't make a change then I might try to hang onto the belief that one day we'll end up together." He says, his eyes steady.
"Why do you believe we won't?" I ask.
"Because I'm a human forced to live in a world of Witches, Warlocks and Veela. I never have and never will wield magic, and I'll die at the human age of eighty. The only things great I've done in my life are have Finn and have had the honour of knowing and loving someone like you."
"Someone like me?" I asks, a tear streaming down my cheek this time.
"Someone brave and smart and great. Someone powerful and capable of ruling worlds and amassing followers. Someone who will only ever end up with an equal to match them. Someone like Peter." I nod my head.
"I do love Peter, a lot... but you're not just a human. You're Felix." I shrug. "You're a huge part of my life. If it was you who the Gao witches took and chained up two years ago and not Peter, I still would have come after you. I wouldn't have stopped for anything- probably not even Peter." I move to sit beside Felix on the edge of the bath tub. I place my hand on his arm and he half-heartedly smiles, placing his hand over mine. Suddenly the door is busted open and Laura stands with her palms extended on the other side. A red light bounces around her fingers. Her eyes settle on us and I move to my feet quickly.
"I knew it!" She says, turning around and hurrying off. I look down at Felix in a panic. He looks up at me but doesn't move.
"She's going to tell Peter." He says, his voice full of defeat.