A/N: APRIL FOOLS! Heh. Did I almost get you right there? I finished this chapter last week and I thought it'd be cool to submit it today. Oh. And about the last chapter, "Aces High", you may have noticed that I used a famous quote from literature (although I modified the noun to work with the story) and if you can tell me from what book it came from, I shall let you have some of the two pounds of sticky white rice I have in my mini-fridge. See 'ya!

Ch. 14 Wasted Years

Now that Byakuya had arrived at this juncture, he simply did not have a single clue as to how to go forward. He couldn't go straight out and say "Urahara, guess what? I'm from the past, so please send me back" for fear of losing his credibility to lunacy. He might have already lost it if his thoughts were now beginning to sound like something Senbonzakura would say and if that was the case, then he had reason to worry. But he plainly had to.

Somehow.

Urahara set the electric teapot at the center of the tea table with a clunk and served Byakuya first and then himself. He took two cups and settled one in front while holding his guests' with his left hand.

"I need your help."

"How so? Sugar cubes?"

"One, please."

Starting from one point is better than not starting at all, Byakuya closed his eyes and gave a tired sigh, Here goes nothing.

"I… have had trouble the last five days getting accustomed to the company of Rukia and the children."

Byakuya was walking on a minefield now. He had deliberately chosen to begin with a broad and general statement to offer Urahara the opportunity to reach the conclusion on his own. Doing so somewhat switched their roles and presented him with more room to maneuver. By allowing Urahara to ask his own questions to clear up what he was saying, it fell upon the former Captain of the Twelfth Division to piece together what Byakuya was attempting to say. All that was left now to do was to sit back and hope the Chappy-slippered man did not grow tired of searching for a needle in a haystack.

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Urahara sipped his tea.

This must be like guiding a blind man through a maze, Byakuya thought annoyed.

"Last Wednesday, I was thrown headfirst into circumstances that I have never before dealt with, circumstances that are centered around Rukia and the children."

Urahara set his teacup down.

"Captain Kuchiki, before you proceed with this, I advise that you seek the help of a marriage counselor. "

What on Earth…?

"…and that you take into consideration the effect that a divorce will most certainly have on your children."

Byakuya took his tea cup and quickly sipped. This was entirely going in the wrong direction.

"If you don't mind my asking," Urahara stated as he refilled his cup, "what led you to this decision?"

"There is no decision and there will be no divorce," Byakuya rubbed his right temple, "I am sorry if that is the impression that I gave."

The Chappy-slippered man lifted an eyebrow, "Oh? Then what seems to be the problem?"

…and the chairs switch yet again.

Byakuya sighed.

"There are times, since last Wednesday to be exact, that I have thought to myself that living in this world feels like a perverse game of hide and seek between myself and everyone else around me with no one to consult on how it is that I got here in the first place and more importantly," Byakuya with his gray eyes bore deep into Urahara's, "how I can leave."

Urahara laughed, "That was quite a mouthful, Captain Kuchiki. I don't know where to start… ah, I know: you made sure to emphasize your desire to leave. Why?"

Byakuya stared down as his half-empty tea cup and slowly shook his head in frustration. If things kept going back and forth like this, then it would get him nowhere. A thought quickly occurred to him: why not to some extent modify his original plan? There was still the risk of Urahara leaving, but if it worked, then it would given him the same result.

"Ask me questions about my life, Urahara." Byakuya suddenly requested.

The man missing his clogs coughed up his tea and excused himself while he cleaned up his shirt with a handkerchief.

"I'm sorry Captain Kuchiki, but I fail to see," he cleared his windpipe from anymore tea, "I fail to see what this has to with anything."

Byakuya placed his hand on the tea table. "Just bear with me on this."

Urahara eyed him suspiciously and lifted a hand to scratch his stubble. "Alright, I'll play your game," he informed him reluctantly, "but you better tell me what this is all about later. I don't appreciate being led around like a blind dog."

Byakuya nodded on the terms, "I assure you that I will."

"Okay, then. Mmmm…." Urahara shrugged, "what day were you born?"

"January 31st."

"What division do you head?"

"The Sixth."

"The name of your zanpakutou?"

"Senbonzakura."

"Your favorite fruit?"

"Apples."

"Drink?"

"Chocolate milk."

"First crush?"

"I ask that you not take advantage of my situation, Urahara. And to answer your question: Yoruichi-hime."

After a short delving into that last question by the Chappy-slippered man, and much reddening that Byakuya hoped was not bright enough to be seen from across the table, Urahara returned to firing off questions and getting them answered. But that lasted shortly.

"When's Genryuu's birthday?" Urahara asked bored, no longer careful to hide it.

"I don't know."

Urahara jerked his head up, "I'm sorry?"

"Please keep going."

"Kaien's birthday?"

"I don't know."

"Sajin's?"

"I don't know."

"Hisana's?"

"I don't know."

"What is," Urahara said deeply confused with the man across from him, "What is the day of your anniversary?"

Byakuya made eye contact, "I don't know."

Urahara laughed nervously, " I have no idea what your ploy is, Captain, but I've had just enough."

"This is no ploy, Urahara."

"Then what is this all about?" The man with the hat stared. "Would you care to explain? Or will I have to find the source of your problem out myself?"

Byakuya understood his aggravation. He too, would have had difficulty keeping his cool by now.

"Spill the beans, Kuchiki-san. It would save us both the time and the effort."

Byakuya sipped more of his tea and pondered Urahara's quiet demand. If he wasn't careful, Urahara would throw up his hands in frustration and leave him sitting alone in a room with no company but the white plastic electric teapot. But if he over leaped, then it would give him the same end result.

"Fair enough. I would appreciate it if you kept all comments to yourself until I am finished."

"Okay," Urahara nodded, "no interruptions on my part."

Byakuya drank his remaining tea and took a deep breath. He shifted his sitting position and assumed an attitude declaring that he was serious about everything he had said and everything he was about to say.

"During one of Commander-General Ukitake's parties, Captain Hitsugaya and I wagered whether or not Captain Soi Fon was serious about departing the event within five minutes as she had declared. I lost the wager and so was charged with Hitsugaya's orders, which consisted of a three-month tour of duty in the world of the living. I followed through and found myself along with twenty-five of my subordinates patrolling Region S.A. Area 22. On the third day, I examined an irregularity in my earpiece caused by suspicious reiatsu within the patrol area. I went there and discovered a man by the name of Bartaul Margonia who did not hesitate to initiate an attack. Margonia's Zenestia had the ability to use space and time for purposes of torture. 'Space' was inflicted upon me, but I managed to break the force barrier that was severely limiting my movement. Margonia was angered and thus forced Zenestia to apply Envejecimiento simultaneously. Shortly thereafter, Margonia lost control of his zapakutou and I resorted to Bankai to stave off the black bubble quickly swallowing the immediate area. Zenestia, or what was left of her, engulfed her wielder and rapidly turned him to dust. Noticing that the bubble would spread to the patrol area, the immediate solution that came to my mind was to use Senbonzakura's Senkei form to contain it. I did so and then… " Byakuya paused shortly to take a breather, "I found myself here."

A sudden silence filled the void in the room created by the end of Byakuya's monologue. The electric teapot whistled, signaling that the water inside had already reached a good level. Urahara's eyes focused the kind of concentration on the teapot that is given to an un-cooperative mathematical problem chalked into a dusty green chalkboard.

"You didn't say when this event occurred," Urahara spoke, his gaze on the teapot, "the date is pivotal in enlightening me on how to handle this."

It was at this time that Byakuya caught something about Urahara's features that he hadn't noticed before-- he looked older. How had he not noticed when the man had opened the door? The stubble on the man's chin had a few dark gray hairs that blended in well with their sandy-colored neighbors. The same could be said about the gray rebellious wisps of hair at Urahara's temples. To Byakuya, Urahara came across as being the kind of man who gets little rest after a long hard day of labor. What has the man sitting across from him staring so fascinatingly at a plastic teapot done in the last ten years to make him look like that?

"The wager, the patrol duty, the fight with Bartraul Margonia, it all occurred ten years ago."

Urahara lifted his eyes to meet solemn gray ones, "Correct me if I'm wrong, Kuchiki-san, but are you telling me… are you telling me that you were somehow launched ten years into the future, my present, after that freak accident and have been wandering around Soul Society getting, no doubt, more than a few shockers here and there?"

Byakuya nodded. "That is correct."

Urahara rubbed his face in amazement, "I… I mean… how…? Did you…I don't….what? Wow."

Byakuya thought his revelation had caught the Chappy-slippered man quite off guard if it had caused him to begin acting like a flabbergasted Renji. He didn't need that right now, so he charged ahead to the million dollar question, "Do you believe me?"

Urahara turned. "Huh? Do I believe you? I… I'm afraid I can't answer that right now."

At least the moment of shock was over. Byakuya gave a stressed sigh, "Is there anything I can do to change that?"

The hatted man smiled weakly. "No, but I do know that a divorce would be much easier to address than…this."

"Look," Byakuya said firmly, "my motive in revealing this was done for the sole purpose of briefing you to help me go back."

He paused. "I cannot stay here for too long: each day that goes by presents to me another opportunity to make an error and thus being found out."

Urahara reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a small colored box. He hit the bottom of the box with the butt of his other hand and leaned into the little square opening that uncovered a single soft-orange stick. He drew the box away, leaving the cylindrical stick behind in his mouth.

"I was not aware that you smoked," Byakuya commented, "I trust that you don't do it around them."

Urahara didn't answer, as he was rummaging his pockets for what Byakuya assumed to be a lighter.

"No need to worry. I don't do it often," he finally replied. "Tessai says I smoke only when I am upset or when I need to relax."

Byakuya understood the meaning behind his words and was willing to grant the man a solid hour or so to reach a decision on whether he believed him or not. In the mean time, Byakuya would attempt to get Urahara as comfortable as possible through some small talk.

"How are Ururu, Jinta and Tessai doing? Are they well?"

Byakuya could see that Urahara was pleased to hold a discussion that he was familiar with.

"Tessai is still here. He and I cover the morning workouts and the he tutors the Kidou exercises."

Urahara went on to elaborate. Byakuya was genuinely interested in his narrative, the only time he drifted off being when he had to fan away a cloud of smoke heading his way. It turns out that Ururu, after a day of Jinta's incessant teasing not more than two years ago, decided that enough was enough and went to the nearest recruiting station. Figuring that Ururu was staying over with Inoue while she cooled off, the residents of Urahara Shouten were surprised to receive a collect call from a military base on the other side of the world three weeks later. It turns out Ururu was undergoing boot camp and had signed a form stating that she was to be in uniform for the next four to six years.

"She's Private First Class Tsumugiya now," Urahara said proudly, "Ururu visited last summer while she was on leave and told us she's training to join the ground combat ranks."

As for Jinta, it took him some time to get over blaming himself for having caused Ururu's sudden decision . But when he did, Jinta concentrated on his baseball training for the next few months and was signed the following year to a minor league contract to play for the neighboring Jamibo Zinc Pandas. Or the "Jammy Zinc" as the team was affectionately called by its fans.

"The Zinc Pandas?" asked a dubious Byakuya.

Urahara laughed. "I know. Jinta wouldn't talk to me for an entire week after I mistook his team name for a pop group. The next town over used to have a zinc mine. As for the pandas, I've got no clue."

Urahara calmed his chuckling while he plucked out his cigarette and stubbed it against the teacup saucer-turned-ash tray. The man cleared his throat, placed his elbows on the tea table and laced his fingers to form an upturned cup near his chin. Urahara leaned in.

"I believe you."

Byakuya blinked. One second the man in laughing and the next he says he believes him. But is that not what he wanted? There was no use delving into his sudden decision more than was necessary. If he wasn't Byakuya Kuchiki, he would have cheered like a vigorous Jamibo fan after a game-winning grand slam. But being Byakuya Kuchiki, it meant closing his eyes and celebrating behind the closed doors of his mind.

"The Byakuya Kuchiki I am familiar with wouldn't have made an effort to suppress the exhibition of his emotions."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he would've let his 'guard down' so to speak and if a smile or a smirk or anything of that sort leaked out, it happened. I also noticed that you were listening very, very closely to when I was speaking. I take it that it has become a habit of yours lately to gather as much information as possible about the future you don't know to lessen the chances of getting caught? The level of importance of the information doesn't matter as any former student of Yoruichi's will verify." He shrugged, "Who knows when knowing the fact that Uryuu Ishida completely bombed his first medical exam or that Orihime Inoue became an ardent agro-terrorist for three years while she was abroad for college... its knowing little things like that you'll never know may help you out down the road."

Catching the 6th Division Captain's disbelief evident in his eyes, Urahara had to smile.

"What I said is true, Kuchiki-san. It may also help to know that Ichigo walked around with a black eye several weeks after he passed that same exam with flying colors. He may say that he received it during a brawl with his alma mater's rivals, but the truth is that Uryuu reached a breaking point after being regularly reminded day in and day out who it was that aced the exam. I would know," Urahara grinned, "I saw the whole thing."

Urahara placed a hand on the tea table and boosted himself off.

"Come. I know of a better place to continue this discussion."

Byakuya stood and followed the Chappy-slippered man around a couple of hallways and was led to a room lined with sliding chalkboards. He entered the room behind Urahara and assumed a seat on an old wooden chair while his host pushed a table between them before he grabbed the only other thing available to sit on, which was a medium-sized stool.

Urahara took a white stick of fresh chalk in-between his fingers and observed the "dance" it was playing upon with his four fingers.

"If fate does exist and free will is simply the invention of our minds that serves no purpose other than to comfort ourselves about the complex inner and outer workings of the destined world around us," Urahara said, glancing at Byakuya, "then I believe that it runs the world. It being what it is, it would be foolish on our part to even attempt to understand it."

Urahara set the chalk down and occupied his fingers by drumming them against the table.

"But fate shouldn't be cruel to some more than others. Yoruichi would have been grateful to have died during the war rather than wither away like she did during the seven months after Sousuke Aizen's defeat." Urahara slowly shook his head, "I was so sure she would come out of it that I didn't tell her. I waited and I waited hoping she would open her eyes and recognize me enough to reveal to her what I felt. But on the day it dawned upon me that her time was shortening and that I had to say it, even if Yoruichi was delusional, her number was called and she went away."

The man on the stool cleared his throat.

"I assume you yourself felt the dread and the… heaviness of it with your first wife."

Byakuya had no clue where this conversation was going or what it had to do with what he had come here for originally. He didn't like being reminded about Hisana, but simply went ahead and nodded, "I did."

"But things are as they are and there's no changing it," he said matter-of-factly.

Urahara picked up the piece of chalk and again entered a trance of watching it twirl from finger to finger.

"Kuchiki-san, you may not know it, but I thank you for having provided me with something to think over. You being here cements my belief that fate does not run the world like a man does a car. We are not machines to be told what to do nor do we exist solely to carry out the instructions written out for us before we even came to be."

Byakuya didn't know what to make of Urahara's philosophy. But as the man had been Captain well before he had and having been taught from a young age to give the attention required to those that were older than him, he listened. He listened albeit reluctantly.

"How does my presence here have an effect on this viewpoint of yours?"

Urahara set down the piece of chalk with a clack on the wobbly table. "What does it say of Fate when it sent you here? Regardless of what you may think of this time, it will happen. Why then, does Fate taunt you by showing you a glimpse of your unchangeable future? Kuchiki-san, I refuse to hold Fate as cruel, therefore, I disregard it and therefore," Urahara pressed down on the piece of chalk with his forefinger until the center collapsed, "…it does not exist."

Byakuya observed the man wipe off the chalk residue on his finger on the fabric of his pants. When he was done, he continued.

"Four years ago, a young widow came into my store looking for a box of crackers to purchase for her daughter of four. Haneki was her name. I didn't have any at the moment because Jinta and Ururu hadn't yet stocked the shelves, so I went to the inventory room and got a box."

Urahara reached into his pants pocket and retrieved a thin pack of gum. The man offered his guest a stick, but he declined. The man peeled the silver foil back and popped the rectangular piece of gum into his mouth. He played with the balled foil for a bit while he attempted to form a bubble with the gum.

Pop!

"I gave Haneki the box free of charge because as a store owner, its my duty to make everything as good as possible for my customers and I clearly hadn't what with the shelf not being stocked with animal crackers. Besides," he smiled, "I found it interesting that my antics hadn't scared off this particular customer. We continued to see each other regularly for two years and I came to have a healthy relationship with Haneki and Jun. She enrolled Jun into the same elementary school Ichigo and his friends attended as children while she worked at the local beauty salon to pay for their apartment. I offered to help out with the groceries and she finally consented after eight months." He clenched his jaw, "I was such a fool then to have let them go."

Pop!

"And I still am. I was afraid of going through the same thing with her like I did with Yoruichi so I pushed her away. I did it even though Haneki had recently disclosed to me that she wasn't truly a widow, but rather a single mother. She lied so to deflect any shame away from her daughter who had been brought up believing that lie."

Pop!

"As a result, Haneki and Jun left and moved down south. When I finally realized my mistake and looked for them, she had already opened a beauty salon of her own."

Pop!

"What I would give to correct that stupid, stupid mistake of mine."

Judging by how Urahara had uttered his last sentence, Byakuya was positive the man was full of regret and self-pity.

"So, Kuchiki-san, understand" Urahara said grimly, keeping his eyes on the man on the other side of the table while he prepared another bubble, "don't waste your time always searching for those wasted years."

Urahara popped the bubble, "Its not healthy in the least. Just look at me: I look much older than a man should at my age."

The man stretched his arms.

"But you are a busy man and I see that my time to take over for Tessai is close. There is no need to worry, Kuchiki-san: I will look into this matter closely and start a correspondence between us as soon anything comes up. I trust that you are familiar with the NPK code?"

The NPK code…

"The code Yoruichi-hime devised while she was the Captain of the Second Division?"

"Yes, that is the one."

"I remember it to a certain extent. Despite everything she did to have me learn it as quickly as possible, I never got any higher than level two."

Urahara laughed. "That's no biggie. Yoruichi got me to try and crack it, but I couldn't even with the resources I had available in the Second and later Twelfth Division. I got to level four after much studying. She was a mad woman to expect anyone with even the most advanced experience in code breaking to reach level ten. But I think that what you and I know of the NPK code, it should suffice. I will send a letter on Friday with the children and in it you will find something to finally put those skills to use."

Urahara stood and signaled to Byakuya that their meeting was over. The Chappy-slippered man led him to the front door and stepped outside with him before he spoke.

"I am helping you, Byakuya Kuchiki, because I recognize that I am a selfish man."

Byakuya nodded. "I understand."

"Alrighty then. I'll see you later." Urahara closed the door and Byakuya was left alone on the front porch with nothing but his thoughts to keep him company. He turned and headed in the direction of the opening leading towards Soul Society.

After a short stroll through it, Byakuya walked the short half-hour or so to the Sixth Division and noting the angle at which his shadow was following his figure, he figured it was around lunch time.

Kuchiki.

'Yes?'

Byakuya nodded towards the guards who greeted him at the Division entrance. Again, there was a small group of Shinigami in the courtyard continuing their training while their fellow soldiers ate their lunch in the Division mess hall.

I was listening in to the conversation you were having with Kisuke Urahara and something caught my attention. I didn't want to ask at first, but the more he spoke, the more he got me thinking.

'And what were those thoughts?' Byakuya pushed open the door to his office and greeted his Lieutenant who must have been behind schedule as she was eating out of her bento box with one hand and filling out papers with the other. He gestured her to return to her work after she began to stand up to salute her Captain.

To tell you the truth, I have a question.

'And it is…?'

Byakuya reached for the first file atop a stack whose foundation could be found at the floor. Even while he read the first file and signed it, he could tell Senbonzakura was having some suspicious difficulty processing her thoughts.

'This must be a first.'

A first what?

'I don't recall ever having a conversation with you I being the more talkative of the two.'

Never mind that. Kuchiki… if Kisuke Urahara is indeed successful and he somehow manages to figure out a way of sending you back… you wouldn't be planning to-

'I am.'

There was a pause.

You didn't even let me ask my question, let alone know what it is that I was going to ask.

'You are incorrect: I knew your inquiry and so I answered.'

There was another pause and Byakuya narrowed his eyes on the thick file he was going to read next.

Ne, Kuchiki.

'Mmm….?'

Why don't you stick around for a bit while the world you're so eager to walk out on comes up with a word that describes what you are? I mean, we both know such a word has yet to come into existence. Or it may be that there are sooo many synonyms, I'm having a difficult time choosing one.

'Senbonzakura, I am busy. If you are going to insult me, do it now and do not waste both my time and yours by drawing it out as much as you can.'

There was yet another silence and Byakuya dipped his brush into the inkpot after not hearing a response.

Byakuya Kuchiki, she finally said, her words dripping with controlled hate, you disgust me.

A/N: Uh-oh. What ever is Senbonzakura refering to? What did Byakuya imply that he'd do? Has the shit really hit the fan? Or is it a simple misunderstanding? What was it that Urahara said to get her thinking? Have any of you noticed that this is the first time in a very, VERY long time I discuss the story at all in the second "A/N" of a chapter instead of bringing up something that has little to do with the story's content? Anyhoo, I was reading this book on the history of world trade and did you know traders in the middle east and India cross bred one-humped and two-humped camels because the offspring turned out to be "super camels"? I mean "super" in that the hybrids were recorded to have the ability to carry up to ten thousand pounds of produce. Ten thousand! Oh, have a nice April Fools day. I know I will. :-D R&R ladies and gents!